I LUV YOUR STORY! in the beginning, i was a little uncertain about continuing, but after the the first chap, it was FANTABULOUS!!!
i totally understand how its possible to despise this story. jk!!
i DONT understand how its possible to hate such a marvelous story!!
i understand why you don't like a little tho. whenever i rite or draw somthin
i always hate it as soon as im done & cant change it!!!
Author's Response: First, I must congratulate you for reading the entire story! I honestly don't know why people take the time to read it all. The only reason I keep it online is because, for some insane reason, people really do seem to like it.
The main reason I dislike this story is because I wrote it quite awhile ago and the whole plot is very cheesy and a bit inexperienced. My writing is all right, but not great, and the main character is quite Mary-Sue-ish.
Thank you so much for the kind review, though. I really do appreciate it! :D Report Review
that was wicked sweet loved it V. much Report Review
YAY! lol, i don't get why you hate it so much, i love it! but that's your choice i suppose... actualy i think i can see why, i hate my first fic, it's too rushed etc. i'm gonna rewrite it sometime... Report Review
I wanna doll too! lol, that was cool, i think it describes both sides of the story well... why do i sound so posh? lol it was fantabulous! Report Review
LOL! ending was funny, i liked it... Report Review
HaHaHaHaHaHa! i laugh, alot, out loud too... that was funny... Report Review
Awww thats realy kinda, half... sad. but i liked it... Report Review
i liked that chapter, like the last bit especially, very realistic! Report Review
wha? that was slightly confusing... Report Review
Just read my stories n tell me what you think, have i reviewed this story yet?!?! possibly not, but i'll do it now... I really like this story, it's really good, and i'm really getting into it, so, yeah, it's great! lol Report Review
I meant to add this last chapter... I totally agree with your perception regarding the Marauders. They are far to intelligent to go by their nicknames in front of everyone because eventually, SOMEBODY would have to ask where they came up with them. It annoys me to no end to read a fan fic where they say each others nicknames in front of everybody, or worse, they slip up and say it then correct themselves. That just isn't very believable coming from them. They are much too smart to act so stupid about something so very serious as illegally becoming Animagi. ~~~
Good work on this chapter. My poor, sweet Sirius:(
The dialog toward the end was very confusing. At times I wasn't sure who was talking to whom. It is partially due to the lack of spaces and paragraphs.
I did enjoy the comedy in it though, and I love the idea of Sirius being jealous. :::Sigh::: he is just incredible :) Over all, good job. Report Review
This chapter was much too short. It would have been interesting if you had gone into more deatil on her troubles sleeping. That, I imagine, would have been quite scary to deal with after the 'Eternal Sleep' spell.
Another thing you could have done (this just hit me), would be a dream sequence, where she relives some of her time before she got here. Possibly with her long lost love, or even spening time with her father.
I also felt the the last part was a bit rushed. It would have been great to have them discussing how she slept and what not...Just basically getting to know each other better. Report Review
I only have two complaints. Firstly, I think Lord Elton Rasshin should have been included in the beginning of the story, during the whole castle sequence. Adding him here makes it a bit jumbled and confused.
My other complaint is a bit silly - - lack of REMUS action. I know, weak complaint really, but I just love him to death and I wish he had been more actively participating in the conversations going on for this chapter. Ah well, can't have everything I guess...lol.
Great chapter otherwise, and great story so far. Its really funny how she is trying to hide who she is from everyone. Report Review
Just so you know, this is my 2nd time reading this. I couldn't remember if I left reviews, and I did like the story and wanted to comment, so I figured I could read it again and add my 2 cents here and there. That being said, here are my thoughts on it so far.
I feel almost like it is missing a chapter. I think before she woke up, you should have told the story from the Marauders point of view, explaining the birthday tradition, explaining how many years she had been asleep, maybe even throwing in a few jokes about various ugly Slytherin's that went to kiss her, just to be told by someone else (the Marauders, or someone in Gryffindor) that it was a waste of time and an insult to her...lol. Then the next chapter or section could go back to her point of view, when she woke up being kissed by the ever so yummy Sirius Black. It might have even been better if the guys had to sneak out to do the kissing.
Another thing I thought was weird was Sirius going alone to kiss her. Surely the guys would have been with him for something like that.
The only other plot hole or problem I noticed was when she mentioned her family. She said they had been gone for centuries, but you didn't explain how she knew how long it had been exactly (or even approximately). The information on the wall wouldn't be very date specific you wouldn't think, unless it was just put up recently, and there was no other indicator that she was told the date, or could have found out while sitting there. It might have been better to do a few paragraphs on what the wall said, and Sirius explaining about how long she had been in that state.
All in all, this is still a great story. I give it a definite O for Outstanding :) Report Review
First of all, I want to say that I love the idea of sleeping beauty at Hogwarts. That was extremely creative on your part.
The story line itself for this chapter is pretty good, however I noticed a few problems that I wanted to point out:
-Your Grammar was a bit off, but not to an extreme (I have seen much worse).
-The beginning was a bit confusing. How did she hear them talking from all the way at the top of the tower? It might have run more smoothly if you had startedthe story from their point of view, then switched to the princess.
-There was a mistake with her placement in the castle: First you said "Your heart thudding, you sail down the stairs". Then a few paragraphs later you said "Without another thought, you turn around and head back the way you came". Might have been better if you said something like 'she continued following the path in which she came from' or something similar.
- Placement of the servant was confusing: First he was on his way out. Then when the killing curse hit him, he was somehow behind you. You also mentioned that the servant gave his life for you. That doesn't make sense if the killing curse hit him while behind you. Its not like he jumped in the way. Might have been better to say that if you had followed his directions, he might have lived, or something like that.
-Use of Expelliarmus: It is not a spell known to knock people out. In PoA when Snape was knocked out it was only because he was hit with 3 at once, and that caused him to smack the wall, thus knocking him out.
The only reason I am being nitpicky is because I REALLY loved your story, and I would LOVE to see more work from you. This idea is GREAT! Keep up the good work! My rating 9/10:) Excellent job! Report Review
they are right interesting indeed Report Review
awesome chapter Report Review
I love the beginning Report Review
Stellar. Very mutely described, to every single detail. Report Review
"He could bring out the wild side within the rigid girl, and she could really bring out a more calm, sensitive side in Prongs. Plus, she’s just the right height to settle within the crook of his arm and rest her head on his shoulder."nice,i like it! U've got flare. Report Review
I don't think it was bad, it was good Report Review
A Marauder now & lovesickness?! Report Review
Nice chapter, but Iwould rather not have slamed against a wall.
I like ur style. A little fight with malfoy, not bad
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