well, lots of words are spelt wrong and it's hard to read. but it's pretty good, unabandon it!!!!!! Report Review
im confused Report Review
This is way to OOC. None of this stuff fits the characters, and doesn't sound like it is really possible. Just keep writing, and you'll keep getting better and better. Try to think of what the characters would actually do in this type of situation.Author's Response: Ok, ok...I see your point. Thanks, now I see that I'm not all that great... Report Review
Er...being petrified wasn't the right way to go...Author's Response: *sigh* Remind me, why did I even POST this story, thinking it was a good one? Report Review
Er... It's..... um..... Different... Report Review
good work... it goes a little fast, and a lot happens within seven chapters... but it was fun to read, although it needs to be finished if you have time!!! :) Report Review
i think the letter from lily was a bit too specific, like she knew before hand that she was gonna die, i think u should revise that.... Report Review
Hey! Yeah, it was alright. The dialog could use a bit of work, as could the descriptions. Length is an issue as well. The characters are a bit OOC too, but good start! Yeah, the Neopets Neomail did that to me too...lol. But yeah, it's alright for a first attempt! Report Review
Hm...interesting plot. I can see your improving! Keep up the good work! Report Review
Nice job! Give it a little more length though. The last lines confused me a bit. 'Hermione said very softly so that only Proseffer Mcgonagall could hear her, the words: “I kissed him…” Mcgonagall: “What on earth would give you that idea?”' What did you mean by that? Nice job!Author's Response: oh...I don't know...lol. thanks. Report Review
it has a good start-just the way its formatted was a bit confusing-reread it to urself and try to explain stuff like why she cant see her father and why they must be seperated from each other.-just a tip-otherwise its a good start.Author's Response: Thanks. I will use that tip in the near furture. Report Review
Nice job, but the characters are a little out of characters. Also, if you could make the chapters longer, people won't have to wait so long for updates. Awesome!Author's Response: The charaters a littie...off. I know. You are my first real reviewer! Thanks! The other person was me...lol. But I always thought of Hermione and Mcgonagall that way. Report Review
It's okay, but to give it more depth and discription, write it less like a script. Like: “Don’t you ever say that word in my house!” Uncle Vernon leaned over the table, grabbing the scruff of Harry’s shirt. He let go of Harry, and got up from the table, walking out of the kitchen, and up the stairs. Just a suggestion. Nice job!Author's Response: Thank you. I'm uploading all the chapters from my computer so you won't have too wait. Report Review
...it's lizzy Report Review
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