{reviewid: 604740, reviewer: 'Hermione%20Fan'}
23rd July 2005:
A tad. . .well. . .rushed, don't you think. And a bit OOC. Other than that, cute.
 Report Review |
{reviewid: 494677, reviewer: 'Anon'}
9th May 2005:
Aswome try n get the chaps up A.S.A.P
Report Review |
{reviewid: 478562, reviewer: 'I%27m%20the%20Author'}
27th April 2005:
look sorry guys i cant log in as my name as its not workin at the mo. I have missing chapters because the computer is not loading them up sorry not my problem.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 466385, reviewer: 'Wendy'}
18th April 2005:
It would have been fine if you didn't add that sick part.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 460230, reviewer: 'Neelahn'}
14th April 2005:
It was a good idea, but the story needs a lot of work. Like your punctuation. And more paragraphes would make the overview of the story better. you have to look carefully were you put the quotation marks. I thought the story was kinda childish, the characters were really OOC (out of charater).
And you forgot to put some chapters in, because when I read chapter 1 Ron told Harry that Hermione was hot (not something that Ron would say) and the next chapter they were suddenly at the ball (R/Hr) passionately kissing ?! That prettty weird :S
Keep practicing your writing! I am not trying to offend you or something, it's just some friendly advice. Good luck :) Neelahn
Report Review |
{reviewid: 459386, reviewer: 'AlexaRae'}
13th April 2005:
Just some constructive criticism:
The characters seem to be very out of character and you need to watch your punctuation.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 458295, reviewer: 'Erica'}
12th April 2005:
I think you forgot to put up the second and third chapters! But a good start!
Report Review |
{reviewid: 457162, reviewer: 'Wo0t%20Wo0t'}
12th April 2005:
MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What happend to chapies 2&3?
Report Review |
{reviewid: 456336, reviewer: 'andharrywokeup'}
11th April 2005:
um did i miss a chapter? how did we get to a ball?
Report Review |
{reviewid: 456333, reviewer: 'andharrywokeup'}
11th April 2005:
first**
Report Review |
{reviewid: 456332, reviewer: 'andharrywokeup'}
11th April 2005:
very teenage cliche, im not sure it fits in the harry potter world. you need to use punctuation ....especially question marks. all critisisms are meant to me constructive so dont get offended. Its a good try and i know where your coming from as im writing my fist story as well.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 455818, reviewer: 'ilovedracoandharry'}
11th April 2005:
That was... not very good. Umm... it was a good try though. The characters are a little out of canon...
Report Review |
{reviewid: 455745, reviewer: 'PoisonDiva69'}
| Review #13, by PoisonDiva69 | Changes |
11th April 2005:
What happened between chapters 1 and 2!!! isnt there more to the plot??
Report Review |
{reviewid: 455329, reviewer: 'Rae'}
10th April 2005:
Wow! I like this. I like the plot! Well, hope it does good!
Report Review |
{reviewid: 245104, reviewer: 'Sbakeeater3'}
9th October 2004:
Lou this is one of the best RW/HG romance fics i've read keep up the good work
Report Review |
{reviewid: 194960, reviewer: 'toshie%20sqeeeeze'}
19th July 2004:
I love tihs story, very.... teenager. Not some mushy censored, but something with flare. Cool.
Author's Response: thanx alot 4 reviewing. i dun like loads of that mushy crap so things are going to go pretty slow at 1st with ron and herms but thins will soon heat up.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 194916, reviewer: 'HotHermione'}
19th July 2004:
I tihnk its really good so far. I'm workin on my first too. I will comtinue reading yours as long as you update. Update soon
Author's Response: thank you very much. the update may take a while coz my computer is mucked up sorry but i'll update as fast as i can.
Report Review |
