Reading Reviews for On the Edge
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Violet Potter 434 Secret Keeping

12th February 2018:
is Anthony a relation of Dean Thomas? he's the only thomas I can think of off the top of my head.

anyways
this chapter was really great, and I'm falling in love with the story! like seriously such a cool plot idea.
I love Amelie's friendship with lily! it's like she found another sister, I hope Lia and lily will be friends.
I also want to know what their dad wrote in that letter, so you had better update soon

from me xxx

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Review #2, by Effervescence Secret Keeping

10th February 2018:
This concept is really intriguing - and original - and I'm super interested in where this goes. I'm really liking the little soft spot Ames has for Lily, and to me it makes so much sense that she's watching out for her. The interactions between James and Ames have been enjoyable, especially when Emmett is around. I actually find the drugs sub plot to be pretty mature, I mean, realistically teenagers misbehave no matter what, but giving them a chance to misbehave safely (as safely as you can with drugs) is actually a really smart move - protect your health and the party!

Anyway, great first few chapters, and I'm excited for whats next!

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! I love hearing about when people like the interactions/characters because I am new to this and find it hard to build the relationships believably!

I am working on the next chapter so hopefully it is out soon :)

RP x


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Review #3, by Op Tree Secret Keeping

6th February 2018:
I'm back, and only one day later, so kudos for the quick updating! I loved the chapter and I think that Amelie reacted perfectly; technically not lying but sharing only certain pieces of information, very smart indeed.

Now about the whole Quidditch sitch, I think that Lily should undoubtedly make the team, and it would be sweet for her to follow her father's steps. I defintely think that James and Al won't be the happiest but Lily is happy so that's what matters!

Now Emmett, he's defintely not my favourite character but he's quite difficult to comment on. His passive agressiveness is extremely concerning but I can take into account that he may actually have feelings for Amelie. Hopefully that will be sorted out soon!

Once again, amazing chapter! Also how many chapters do you think this novel will be?? But till next time, so update soon!!!

Author's Response: Thank you for commenting again! And I am so glad you liked the chapter. I have been procrastinating real life so hard recently thus the quick updates (I also pre-wrote 3 chapters before I posted anything)!

I am new to the creative writing gig and I can see how it is difficult to comment on Emmett because I am trying to figure out how to give my characters depth without being overly descriptive as well as Emmett obviously suffers from Amelie being the narrator and having some first person bias chucked in there! Hopefully in the next few chapters he will become a clearer character to you.. there is definitely more to Emmett (in my mind) which hasn't been shown yet.

Chapter-wise initially I thought 20 chapters but I am at 5 and there is still a lot to happen...I am thinking now around 20-25 chapters. I have a plan of things I want to happen but I also am not sure how those will split into chapters. Confidently I want to say no more than 30.

Thanks again for commenting!
RP x



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Review #4, by Op Tree Shaky Alliances

4th February 2018:
Loving the story so far! The conversations are interesting and always keep me on the edge. I really like the idea of the 'the Whips'; it is extremely unique and I can't wait to see where it goes.

I like the cliffhanger idea and I hope that Amelie will make a smart decision, maybe half truth and half lie? I can't wait to read the next chapter so please do update soon!

As for girl character names - Leia, Rosa, Emilia, Aria, Bella
Boy character names - Alex, Amir, Raj, Rahul
Of course all just suggestions but it must be hard to find names that fit the story. Once again update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! The next chapter is very nearly ready to go in the queue just needs a bit of editing so keep an eye out!

Also thanks for the names suggestions - especially boys names that are not totally white it shows my unconscious bias that I automatically think of white-centric names. I am planning on having a list of names I am suggested and slotting them in when I need a random character to be named :)

RP x


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Review #5, by Violet Potter 434 Shaky Alliances

3rd February 2018:
i'm loving this so far!

please let her not be stupid and just tell james the truth about lily


eek i can't wait for the next chapter, it had better be soon, i'm the only one to take ages to update

i can't think of any names other than the ones i use in my stories (Bex Williams, Charlie (Charlotte) Davis, Dexter Hale etc) they aren't great but if you're struggling then...


i love your plot idea tho, it took me a while to get my head round at first but i'm getting there

from me xxx

Author's Response: Thank you for your review!

No spoilers on if Amelie will be stupid or not but characters making stupid decisions often drives the plot in fanfics... ;)

Thanks for the name suggestions - HP fics I always try think of fun names that I visit baby name websites just to find the most random name that is also not annoying to write but after a while I just go "this one can be Bob until I think of something better"

Even in my mind it took me ages to figure out how to implement the plot idea so I can definitely understand the taking a while to get your head around! It is the curse of trying something new when you know a good cliche plot (which I do love) would be easier.

Chapter 4 is in the works so fingers crossed you don't have to wait long.

RP x


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Review #6, by Anonymous Shaky Alliances

3rd February 2018:
Ah! Amazing chapter! The tension between James and Amelie is so clear and wow are they stark contrats! Literally fire and ice! Loe the story so far and I can't wait to see the next chapter, hope you update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! About halfway done with chapter four so hopefully I will get it done and submitted soon.

RP x


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Review #7, by Fee Shaky Alliances

3rd February 2018:
I think you’re off to a old start, Lia and James getting to know each other more and more is great! However, I’m not a fan of the fact that the Whips who are supposedly the ones to bring order to the school now turns out to be drug dealers? Like, they should stop the drugs instead of taking over them and I hope they’ll get arrested in the end for supplying children with illegal drugs. Being a druggie isn’t cool, even if it’s “only” at parties, they’re essentially feeding addictions and I hope they are found out. And if you’re somehow trying to glorify literal children using drugs then I’m going to bow out of this story since I’m not interested in that kind of thing.
And with the whole Potions class thing, per the books, Slughorn has demands for continuing with Potions after your OWLs, so if someone sucked, then they wouldn’t be allowed to continue. So Ness and Emmet probably shouldn’t be in that class. Rose, since she’s in the same year as Al, who is TWO years under James, wouldn’t be in the class either, since she should be in her OWL year.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for taking the time to review :)

Firstly - thanks for the Rose comment I might actually go back and change that. I wanted to get her into the story to interact with the other characters but I hadn't realised she was two years younger than James (my next-gen age knowledge is obviously lacking!). I was going for the 'genius skipping OWLs to NEWTs without having to do 6th year but with 2 years definitely a bit of a stretch.

Secondly - the idea of the Whips is more like they ensure that the partying can continue by preventing the students being too obvious and the teachers catching on rather than actually being the ones that prevent the partying (I might go back and edit the earlier chapters to make that clearer). I also get the druggie comments, I wouldn't want to 'glorify' it and in my world it is just like 5th year + doing the partying in a sort of "Gossip Girl-esque" world where they are basically rich and without parental supervision (e.g. weed and alcohol at High School parties but in this case magical substances) and no threat of a Wizarding War keeping them busy. I am planning on delving into how the culture is pretty bad/Amelie realises that it is unhealthy route rather than just purely glorifying drug use but I totally understand if that is not your cup of tea plot wise!

Thanks again for taking the time to review and I do really appreciate your comments :)

RP x


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Review #8, by Anonymous The Start of the End

1st February 2018:
Ooh! Amazing chapter - I love your writing style and this story is so unique! Keep up the amazing work and update soon!!!

Author's Response: Thank you! I really appreciate your comment :) I am planning on putting chapter 3 in the queue this weekend x

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Review #9, by BBHP The Whips

29th January 2018:
Very interesting. Looking forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to review! I hope you like where the story goes in the future x

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Review #10, by Potterhead3106 The Whips

28th January 2018:
I like the idea, it's original and unique. Can't wait to see what's to come so update soon please!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I am nearly done with chapter 2 so keep an eye out x

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