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Reading Reviews for Weight of the World
  
1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by DossyVilja Weight of the World

29th May 2017:
I LOVE that you decided to write a piece with different setting around the world. I know it's just my thing, but I'm always thinking, there are wizards all over the globe, action should happen in these places as well.
On the other hand, I think you could still work on presenting these places better. For example your closing scene in Argentina, doesn't tell us anything about Argentina. My suggestion would be to add mention of something typical like drinking mate (from my experience visiting the Patagonian desert, everyone is drinking mate - that's kind of a social thing), they would probably see it from the locals, they might even try it - is there someone from Argentine in their tribune? (he/she would offer them mate), they could comment on how much they like this friendly gesture that people share their mate among each other, or how disgustingly bitter it tastes, or how hot they drink it, and it burns one's tongue, among the Quidditch souvenirs, they would probably sell a mate cup with the world cup logo, etc.
The same goes for Romania and Transylvania. Although you do have Dracula there which is nice! But Transylvania (unfortunately) would be a place for the local Romanians and Hungarians constantly engaging in cultural fights. I suspect local people would work at the dragon reserve and share this bad habit with Muggles. So why not make everything happen on or shortly after a national holiday that would heat up emotions? Or bring up Trianon at a dinner table, that would be so typical to fight over…?
About Cairo I don't know, as I've never been to Egypt. But here I think you have some of the details I was missing from the other parts. Like Luna having to wear a hijab. Or commenting on Western style clothing being acceptable.

There are many details that I like in your writing. Rolf being nine years older than Luna, and worrying about her fiance being the same age as the little sister of his friend. (And you made me do my homework with inserting "At thirty-six, in 2008" ;-)) Also this explains why we don't know of him in the original books, he had graduated by the time Harry goes to Hogwarts.
I also think that the opening is perfect "Rolf, the Brazilian Englishman […] was a Scamander". However, it kept my wondering why he was Brazilian? That's a detail you are free to invent as it's not covered by JKR, but that somehow just doesn't seem to fit for me. (It makes sense at the end, as they go to the Quidditch world cup, and Brazil is playing the finale, but not until that point... and still at that point it feels a little forced.)

I also enjoyed the mystery you have in there. "Something had happened to old Newt Scamander somewhere in the time lapse when he raised his son and grandson." This has two important pieces of information: (1) that something happened to Newt, and (2) that he raised his grandson - so something must have happened to rolf's parents.

Overall I really enjoyed reading this, thank you for the request! And I hope you will consider exploiting better the fact that your story takes place at different countries.

Author's Response: Sorry ave enI have not responded. Work is crazy. You are right that I should have put aspects of the culture. And interwoven that - I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the review.

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