Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.






Reading Reviews for Little Red
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LunaStellaCat paint the world red rosie

9th August 2017:
Sunshine Locks

This second piece is better, much better than the first piece that I read of yours. In fact, I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't packed full with the cliches that you often see with Next Generation fiction pieces. People often forget that children, especially in like the NG or movie sequels are not simply carbon copies of their parents. Was Harry Potter James Potter? No? Then why are Albus or James given as such? Thatís one thing that ďThe Cursed ChildĒ did correct or give a breath of fresh air to. (I hate the Cursed Child, so itís odd for me to hand a compliment that way.)

This isn't dark or glory for the sake of it, but I do want to point out a flaw. Or something that might of strengthened this. In crime, more often than not, the victim knows the person who attacks them. My inner law student is going to come out here in a minute. The familiarity makes perfect sense that one or maybe two are within her circle. Peter Pettigrew, although he is not a murderer, per se, did that. The same argument could be made (though he wasn't a murderer either) for Sirius Black.

Hereís the thing you donít point out. There is usually an intent, or the Latinate term I am not going to type, as to why a person commits a crime. There is usually a why. Why? Because if and when they go to court, you need grounds for a defense. Mens rea. I lied. I used the term. Men, unlike animals, have the ability to reason. People don't randomly kill folks, especially family, for shock and awe. They donít. Where is the intent, or the drive, or the motivation? You don't just want to write a shock and awe for an OMG, girlfriend moment. Why did she take this action?

Itís not believable if sheís just a bad person. Tim Riddle wasn't inherently evil. Even if he was, there are reasons as to why he chose this or that trinket to use as a Horcrux. The locket? That thing was round his motherís neck. Maybe build that history.

This brings to mind Stephen King. A little. Itís dark, but I like that you don't go into details simply to be dark and gory like a scary movie. If you need to answer the why in a comment, by the way, it means it either wasn't in your story or you did not explain it well. King, while he is hit and miss, is a master at this. You need a slow build when building a character. You need to develop that if you are going to make that connection.

Just a thought. Okay, more than a lot. Got a lot of Stephen King books. Like 60.

What else was I going to say? Oh, yes, like you, this is why I hate Lily Luna Potter. Outside of that ridiculous name -itís bad, yo- but I like seeing her in another light. Have I mentioned this is so much more well written than the other one? Props. I can't remember Ö oh, the writing is organized, although it can use some cleaning up. But, honestly, honestly, I like that even though itís not illustrated, and here I would recommend you don't do that, you kind of build the atmosphere.

Oh. With your two scenes you want to have the history of why Rose is Rose to connect the dots. That will save you and make it clearer. Folks don't just go round killing their family. They aren't, you know, hamsters. (Thatís dark, too, but hey Ö.)

Really well done. Pleasantly and darkly surprised.

LunaStellaCat

Author's Response: Thank you! That was mostly what I was going for, to subvert the trend that the next generation kids would be exactly like their parents! The Cursed Child was for me like that too.

This did at one point come up to me, and I was like 'crap. Wouldn't that be grounds for figuring out who the killer was?' It only occurred to me that serial killers aren't caught and run free for as long as they do is because they kill people that they are unfamiliar to.

This had been pointed out to me by another reviewer that Rose would not kill without motivation. The thing is, I very subtly (like... minuscule) that Rose was doing it because she wanted to mix things up. Its why noticed actively how her murders affected people. Although, I might have to make that more clear.

Thank you for your critique and compliments!

(This is my favorite one-shot too.)


 Report Review

Review #2, by AbraxanUnicorn paint the world red rosie

12th April 2017:
Well hello! I thought I'd check out your new one-shot, and wow! I wasn't expecting the little note at the end! I think you might have made my day :D

Gosh. This is certainly a different take on Rose Weasley. I've read darker versions of her before, but I think this is the coldest, most devious one yet. Interestingly, she doesn't seem to really have a proper motive for committing murder. I wonder if she's like many incredibly intelligent people; bored and wanting to experiment/spice up life a little?

Very chilling take on a next-gen character.

Brax X

Author's Response: Yes I aim to please and make people happy, and I'm so glad I could do that for you!

Yeah, it really is, and it's meant to be that way. It's almost cliche in the way that I made her a murderer, and not some morally ambiguous character which are always more fun to read about. I think your observations of Rose are spot on! I didn't really know what kind of dark Rose Weasley I was going for, but this was the one that came out, and also apparently the one I was looking for.

I originally had planned for her to have a hit list where she murders all of her cousins one by one, but that didn't really work out. I think I like this ending better, where it's not really clear who or how many people she's killed, just that she has a numerous amount. It's a lot more chilling because who knows who she wanted to have killed!

I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for reading!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login