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Reading Reviews for The Witching Hour
  
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by blackzero Epilogue

17th March 2017:
Oh what a end...didnot guessed the daughter part

Author's Response: Thanks for your review - I'm glad I kept you in suspense!

Brax X


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Review #2, by blackzero Four

16th March 2017:
A very Good nice and simple story

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

Brax X


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Review #3, by putitonpaper Epilogue

5th March 2017:
Hi!

This is such an interesting concept! The plot is quite extraordinary and you've accomplished quite a lot in 6 chapters. I'm so envious of the way you've set the scenes in your chapters. I especially appreciated how you first described the sky in the beginning and I really like how you're able to go from dialogue to description flawlessly and without missing a beat. I also really appreciate diversity in fanfictions on here. I think it's insanely important (especially now) to highlight different experiences so I really loved the way you wove in elements about the expectations from her parents at school and with her love life.

Also, many congratulations on your Dobby!!

Author's Response: Hey :)

Wow - I'm really touched by your lovely words and now I'm not sure how to respond! It's always great to hear from other authors, especially those whose work I read on a regular basis and adore :)

If you ever have the time or inclination to read the sequel to this, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that, too :)

Thank you!

Brax X


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Review #4, by luna1306 Two

27th February 2017:
Im just reviewing on a random chapter to congratulate you with your dobby!
Best new author! You deserve it.
Well that's it for now
CONGRATULATIONS 🎉

Author's Response: Bless you, you are way too kind!

I was lost for words when someone nominated me and now I'm even more speechless!!

Thank you so much for your wonderfulness and lovely reviews and for this :)

Brax X


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Review #5, by ImaRavenclaw One

3rd February 2017:
Hello there! I'm Lily in case you haven't met me, and I'm here with BvB! Just so that you know I (usually, not always but usually) review as I go along.

First of all before I start I'm really excited to read this because I've never read any of you works!

I loved your use of the poem at the beginning of the chapter. I've always wanted to do that but I've never really been able to find one that matches my story AND that I actually like.

Urgh, totally understanding the need to get away from light pollution. My mother lives in a rather small town, but my father lives in a big city, so even though I love visiting him I always hate how busy the city is at night in terms of all the light.

Even though I have no idea who your character is yet (or even what her name is) I really like her. I know it's a bit of a trope, but I really like those girls in fan fic, and even OF, who don't really agree with their parents. And I think that the way she says they don't really care about personal characteristics and more about money, and which school they went to, and who their family is , will make for a really interesting rest of story.

Oh gosh they've even made excel spreadsheets. Though I have to admit that it is a bit funny.

My heart rose up in my throat when I saw the words 'smooth male voice'. Yes! This going to be a story about some kind of forbidden love, or how she meets this boy and her parents hate him, or something along those lines. I love those stories. Oh gosh is it a canon character? I must find out, reading on.

Yes muggle/wizard romance! I live for these.

OH MY GOD IT'S ALBUS YES! ... Sorry about that.

I feel like Albus would be a bit more educated on what to tell muggles and what not to tell muggles though, since his aunt's muggleborn and his father grew up in the muggle world and such.

All in all, I really liked your writing. I think that I will really enjoy this story, and I love how it started out.

Yours sincerely,
ImaRavenclaw

Author's Response: Hi Lily! Thank you for your review :)

Yeah, I guess Albus might have been a bit more careful about what he said (or I might have been a bit more careful about how I wrote this ;) ) but I also figured that the muggle world is so vast, he can't possibly know every similarity or difference between our lives and his. I'm going to say that both Albus and I have a lot to learn :P

Thank you for your thoughtful review :)

Brax X


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Review #6, by Hasane Epilogue

22nd January 2017:
This was a pleasant read! I really liked Sunita, she was an Indian character I could relate to and understand some of her struggles, even if they were not explicitly outlined.

Albus was written as I had imagined him to be and I liked the way you described his voice in the absence of his looks in the dark. I could see him perfectly in my mind anyways.

The concept of this story was an interesting one, and not one you'd normally find. I myself am writing one where Al meets an Indian muggle as in HPFF there is a disgusting lack of Al/muggle and female Indian characters.

I found a few grammar mistakes, but nothing too major. I feel like you could have elaborated a bit more on how Sunita was feeling. There was a lot that could have been done that wasn't done here, but I liked it anyways!!

Now off to the sequel!

Author's Response: Hello and thank you so much for your lovely review!

You're right; there is a dearth of minority protagonists on HPFF and in fiction in general, which is what prompted me to write this story and its sequel. As this is my first story, I wanted to base part of it in a world I knew, so chose to make it a muggle-Al romance (not a trope that I am aware of). I wanted to keep it a short story, so didn't expand on lots of things I could have done (some of which, with hindsight, I regret not doing), but the sequel is a much larger project with more detail so should be a much more comprehensive read :)

One day, I'll give this a good edit and weed out the grammatical errors. I wrote it quite quickly so there are a few!

Once again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing this! I hope you enjoy the sequel and I'd welcome any feedback you have on that as well :)

Brax X


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Review #7, by blackballet Two

19th January 2017:
This is just another wonderful chapter! I'm so drawn in by your characterizations; they are just wonderful. I particularly enjoyed the part where Albus' name is discussed. It was very original, and gives the reader a greater insight to both of their characters. Just lovely!
One thing that stuck out to me was the idea that Sunny just had to send that text. It might be more believable as more than just a plot device if she had forgotten to text her parents or something along those lines- just a suggestion. Otherwise, this was another fantastic job and you had me leaning on the edge of my seat once more!

Thanks for the read,
blackballet

Author's Response: Hello and thank you for another lovely review!

Hehe! There was a reason behind the "forgotten text" - she hadn't forgotten at all! The magic surrounding Harry's cottage near the coast, invisible to muggles, meant that any muggles getting too close would urgently need to scurry away do some menial task or other.
Sometimes, I need to remember that all the little things in my head are not always obvious to the reader, so it's great to be reminded of that and to include some reference in the future :)

Thank YOU for taking the time to read and review :)

Brax X


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Review #8, by blackballet One

18th January 2017:
Hello, I'm here for the BvB Review Battle,

Oh my gosh, this was so sweet! It gave me the feeling of a slow build even in such a short time, and I can't wait to see where you go with these characters even in the next chapter. I love their shared fascination with the sky, and I also loved how it's clear Sunny is a muggle and Al is a wizard. The exposition was perfect, because you didn't outright tell the reader anything; loved it! The only minor error I found was technically: after dialogue is over, there should be a comma right before the closing quotation mark. That's easily fixed, though.

I'm really excited to see more of your story!
Thanks for the great read,
blackballet

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your lovely review - it really made me smile!

I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter :) and thank you for bringing the dialogue commas to my attention. I tend to overuse commas where they aren't needed and neglect to add them where they should be! I'll comb through and fix them :)

Hope you continue to read and enjoy :)

Brax X


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Review #9, by lovegood27 Two

18th January 2017:
Aaand it's me again, here for BvB ;)

This continues to be super cute, and I like how we get to learn a bit more about Sunny's character, and she finds out Albus' name! She seems like a very curious but also intelligent person, it's nice how she's quite modest about everything. The bit about the phone was a nice touch; it really emphasises their differences being a wizard and muggle, but Al is clearly still fascinated by it and it's good to see that wizards also return muggles' interests in them.

All in all, this is a great story so far, you have a really nice writing style :)

Author's Response: Hello again!

Thank you for your review and your comment about my writing style - what a lovely thing to say :) I'm glad you have enjoyed the story so far.

Brax X


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Review #10, by lovegood27 One

14th January 2017:
Hello, I'm here for BvB!

So far, I find this absolutely adorable. I love Sunita's name and also how she's trying to guess Albus' (because it was Albus, right?), it was very amusing. I think the fact that they are both very interested in the stars make them kind of mutually attracted to each other. Usually, most Albus/Ocs I read have the OC go to Hogwarts with Albus and aren't muggles so this is an interesting change (or maybe I just need to branch out a bit more : P)

The only thing I have to say is that I'm a little confused by Albus' behaviour. Sunny is obviously a Muggle but I don't know if Albus knows that? The part mentioning Gobbledegook suggests that he does know, but if he did, I think he would be a bit more careful talking about NEWTs with Sunita in case he says too much.

Apart from that, I really like this story so far and I look forward to reading the next chapter :D

Author's Response: Hello!!

Thank you so much for taking the time to review :) You're right; Albus's behaviour is somewhat perplexing at times, and he should have been more careful about what he was saying. I guess I'll have to chalk it down to either his don't-carish teenager side or a rash display of human inconsistency ;)

Thanks once again for reading and reviewing, and hope you enjoy the subsequent chapters.

Brax X


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Review #11, by Nameless Epilogue

18th November 2016:
Wow!!

really love this story alot. It was short sweet and to the point :)

I also like how it was not predictable... I totally expected them to be together in the end.

But... maybe you can do a One-Shot of her bringing her daughter to Kings Cross and bumping into Al…

~M~

Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely review! It made my day :)
A sequel wasn't part of the original plan for this, it was supposed to be a one-off, but last week I started wondering how the future would pan out for everyone and I started writing more...

Brax X


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Review #12, by Nameless Two

5th November 2016:
Oh my! I love the inside head convos and one liners. They are awesome.

I can't wait to hear her reaction to Al's disclosure... will he be honest or make something up?

Keep it up and can't wait for next one

~M~

Author's Response: Hi M

You'll have to wait and see! I've uploaded the next chapter, which is very short and not particularly interesting, but once it's validated I'll post the fourth one which ready to go and has a little more stuff going on :)

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing :)

Brax X


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Review #13, by Dinthemidwest Two

5th November 2016:
This is a very interesting story-great start!

Author's Response: Thank you :) I'll be uploading another chapter soon - hope it continues to hold your interest.

Brax X


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Review #14, by Nameless One

4th November 2016:
hey there,

this looks like a really good start to a great story.

i love how Al is jumpy and nervous when Sunny says things like witching hour and voodoo etc.

really excited to see how this all plays out!

keep up the good work,

~M~

Author's Response: Hi Nameless,

thank you for the lovely comments and for leaving a review :)
I'll upload the next chapter soon; it just needs a bit of tweaking first.

Brax X



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