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Reading Reviews for Present and Future
  
35 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Anonymous Chapter 15

6th August 2017:
No

Cliffhangers. Why must you torture us so?

Great chapter, though, you've got me hooked, and I just binge-read this story.

Update soon please!!!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! Yeah, I'm sorry but I don't seem to know how to not end on cliffhangers lol :P I'm (sort of) taking a break from writing at the moment but I do have half the next chapter written so I'll try my best to update asap! Thanks for the review! XD

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Review #2, by Maddy Chapter 15

5th July 2017:
Please update. This is very good.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'll try and update soon if life calms down a bit, and also if I find inspiration. Sorry for my lack of activity at the moment! :/

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Review #3, by nott theodore Chapter 1

27th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hello! I'm really glad that I get the chance to leave you a review after the very sweet review you left for me the other day :)

This seemed like a really original version of a next generation story. I've not read a lot of next gen for a while now, and only a couple of Victoire and Teddy stories overall, probably, but I really enjoyed this. I think you're right in your author's note at the end of the chapter - the two of them always seem to be best friends from when they were younger, but it's easily imaginable that they could have argued and started getting on each other's nerves, and they end up like this.

Victoire is certainly fiery, haha. I loved the way that even though it was her birthday, her mum was telling her off and making sure she didn't pull any of the stupid pranks that she usually gets up to. I thought that was great, because it gave us a sense of her character from the start without stating 'she does this all the time', if that makes sense. It was clear that poor Fleur was always having to shepherd the three kids around and knows their tricks. But Victoire also knows her mum's going to ask her to turn her pockets out and has cleverly prepared for the situation :P

I don't think I'd have been brave enough to write so many Weasley and Potter children in the first chapter of a story, but you did a great job of writing them as separate characters. I also like that they're not all close together in age (and Louis is the stereotypical annoying little brother), so Victoire is closer to Molly because they're similar ages.

I have to admit that I laughed a little at the prank at the end. Does that make me immature? Possibly. We won't examine that right now...

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so pleased to see you here...I feel bad now because my review was so short *makes a mental note to review more of your stories*

I always try to have some sort of original element to my stories, so it's slightly unusual. Enemies to lovers has always been interesting for me, and even if I'm not the best at it, it's really fun to write. Hence this fic :D

Lolll, I almost feel sorry for Fleur here. You're absolute right about her having to shepherd the children around. Right, Vic's an adult now...physically, at least ;)

I'm glad you didn't find all the Weasleys and Potters too confusing. I sort of paired all the kids up, because the idea just stuck to me, so maybe that helped. And about the prank...you aren't not THAT immature. Immature is if you identify most as Lily or Hugo, who spend their time playing hide-and-seek *whistles innocently*

Thanks so much for the awesome review! :D


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Review #4, by Pixileanin Chapter 1

27th April 2017:
I think this is a great idea to have Victoire and Teddy at odds with each other in this story. It adds some spice to the beginning, and also makes me wonder if you will keep them this way, or if they will morph into something different later on. Thoughts...

Your dialogue was written very lively-like. I could hear all the characters in my head as they yammered at each other and annoyed the living daylights out of each other as well. It seemed realistic that way, how the cousins interacted at the obligatory family gatherings. I could see how some of them were tired of each other, and others were more inclined to like the gatherings. Nice portrayal of the family event.

One thing I wasn't sure about was Victoire's mother not checking ALL her pockets. If I had a daughter whose pockets needed checking, I'd check ALL of them, and demand to see the invisible pockets as well. If you've got a smart kid, you've got to keep a few steps ahead of them. Just saying...

It was a little sad that poor Victoire felt like her birthday wasn't the best. It didn't sound very pleasant, but I like that she took it in stride. I'm not sure how I would have felt if she'd been overly dramatic about it . I'm glad she wasn't, because that would have put me off the character. I'd not have been so sympathetic. I think your choice to have her accept it as it was made her more relatable and also gave me more sympathetic feels.

So all in all, this was a typical family gathering, and I got a good feel for the characters. I wonder what's going to happen next?

Nice read!

Pix

Author's Response: Hello! Nice to see you here :)

I was kinda annoyed at how Teddy and Victoire never really got an interesting story, or if they did, they always just had crushes on each other. So this story was born. :)

I'm glad you liked the way you portrayed the family gathering. I mean, there are about 50 Weasley/Potters, someone's bound to not like it, right? I agree that it wasn't Fleur's smartest moment in not checking all of Victoire's pockets but I kind of just imagined Vic would be able to get away with some things, the smuggling salt included ;)

It's actually interesting how you mentioned her not being overly dramatic. Someone else commented on her being the exact opposite, so really, I'm a bit lost there. But I don't mind interpretations being more varied (personally, I feel sympathetic towards Vic too)

Thanks for the lovely review! :)


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Review #5, by Weasley55 Chapter 14

21st April 2017:
You are such a good writer! I love your story, please, please, please update soon.

Author's Response: Omg, you're too nice, thank you!! I'm so glad you liked it, and I will try to update soon! Thanks for the review :D

P.S. Yes, I'll tell you when I update in the future 😂



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Review #6, by Tonks_7 Chapter 14

19th April 2017:
What, Zabini is cheating! I did not see that coming! Well done this is a great chapter!

Author's Response: Hello! Yep, she's cheating on Teddy with...someone. Thanks so much for reviewing! :D

P.S. You aren't mad I didn't tell you, right??


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Review #7, by You know who Chapter 14

17th April 2017:
I do like this chapter even though it was predictable
You had better upload quickly or else...

Author's Response: Hello ^_^

I'm glad you liked this chapter. And I'll try? No promises, since I'm currently drowning in story challenges (which is totally not my own fault)

But yeah, thanks for reviewing. Pls keep reading! :)


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Review #8, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter 4

9th April 2017:
I think he would have punched my face since I'm captain of the Gryffindor team, but we were dating and he was worried I would dump him.

She just has these random asides that I love. Really, truly. They come out of nowhere. It's like little brain farts and it makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.

That can't be good if the future gang are now seeing their regular selves. That could change the entire future! Teddy and Vic might not even get together now! It would be forced or maybe because she knows she'll ignore him.

Though that would go against her character because I think she's one with the drama.

I like that it finally came out though. I just want to know if he liked her from the beginning, if something happened that made him like or if it was more of a gradual thing on both of their ends. It couldn't have happened over night, right?

Author's Response: Aw, I'm so glad you find it funny. Writing Present and Future has really sharpened my humour instincts, I think :)

TBH I think Vic and Teddy getting together would be inevitable, even if it's against her wishes (it's in later chapters...I'm such a spoiler lol)

Yeah, I always add WAY too much (unnecessary) drama in my fics. I always write romances too quickly, but it will hopefully come across as them gradually growing to like each other.

Thank you for all your lovely reviews! :D


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Review #9, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter 3

9th April 2017:
I hadn't inherited my dad's kind nature, and neither had Dom. Louis had, but I felt no sympathy for Hugo, only annoyance.

LOL. Victorie is a spolled and mean. Sometimes I like her other times I want to sit her down and give her a stern talking to. She has an attitude but when I was her age I had the same exact attitude. Heck, I had the same love-hate relationship with someone too. Sigh, the things we get stuck into.

The future. How very interesting. I'm not surprised, well I am, because at first I really did not believe they were the future. I wish they had a better excuse as to why they decided to use a time turner but then again they're children, do they really need a good excuse to do something wrong?

I like that Teddy was acting different. It made Vic and Teddy more likable characters. When they're fighting it hurts my head. I know it sounds ridiculous but sometimes when you read a story, do you ever hear them yelling in your head? I can hear her screeching. Screeching hurts!

I wonder if they were dating in the future. Did she kiss him or something? He stopped talking and didn't reveal much. It amused me that he was so confused as to why she was acting the way she was. Clearly something happens with them. It's inevitable!

Author's Response: Oh, she has an attitude, alright! ;) I'm glad it's still realistic though; this is NOT making me want to turn 17 anytime soon.

Ahaha, no they don't need an excuse (it's why I love being a child so much XD) Especially since it's James and in my head he would have taken after his grandfather for...well, being an immature prankster ;)

Loll, I wasn't really looking to give my readers a headache when I wrote this, but it seems to make it feel more real. And their fighting just shows they're acting like an old married couple.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #10, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter 2

9th April 2017:
Apart from this Hufflepuff girl in my year, Susanne Perkins, but she doesn't really count because she fainted when she had a nosebleed. And that was a few weeks ago.

This made me laugh really hard. I honestly can't decide if Vic is funny, an airhead or just being a kid.

I'm a little confused as to why she used the killing curse on the spiders. It's illegal, isn't it? I would think the Ministry would come knocking down on her door and that's not something that they teach in school anyway. Was a little too intense for me. She could have used any other spell out there or ran out of the house dramatically. Something that just wouldn't be that extreme to AK. I'm just saying.

Why are her cousins in her room? Are they part of the whole Teddy thing or are they trying to give her a surprise birthday present? That would be so nice but I don't know it sounds like they're up to something!

Author's Response: I'm going for a mix of all three ;)

Ooh, about the killing part (it seems to be causing a lot of confusion among people, not just you). So I remember that when Moody taught Harry and the others about the Unforgivables, he said if used on a human. And the spiders are animals- therefore I don't think it's illegal. The way I think of it, it's like if you get a tissue paper and wrap the spider in it, then flush it down the toilet. I know I've done it, and yes it's kinda cruel but it's not illegal and you won't have to go to prison/court for it. Hope that clears things up :)

Thanks for reviewing! I hope you're enjoying it so far :D


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Review #11, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter 1

9th April 2017:
Hey! Sorry I didn't start my reviews earlier. Capture the flag kind of took up my entire day yesterday. Here now!

That was my birthday so far, and the rest of the evening would undoubtedly be spent trying to drop worms into Teddy Lupin's soup.

What a birthday plan! If I was her I would just ignore him and then he would go away but then again I would also want to get even because I'm a petty person. Can't really win here, can we?

I like the pranks they pull on each other though. They're relatively harmless, which I am all for. Sometimes I read these outrageous and really mean pranks and I'm not for that in stories. Like I'm talking about maybe worse than what Sirius did to Snape with Lupin. You know what I'm saying?

I like Vic. I like that she has a bit of an attitude. You can see she's completely spoiled. I wouldn't expect it to be any other way though. I also like that you have paired off the cousins. They each have their person and it's relatable because that's how it is in my family. I think it works out that way when you have a big family and I have a family the size of the Weasley's if not larger.

I think this was a good introductory chapter. It didn't give too much away and I'm glad they aren't in love or secretly pining for each other at this point. Obviously they're going to develop feelings eventually but I think that's going to take awhile. A bit of a snail pace because they really do not get along. I appreciate that! I like a slow walk to romance, not a run.

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad you think this was good so far! (Ah, don't even get me started on CTF)

Yeah, they're pretty harmless, the pranks. I never play pranks so I couldn't think of that many great ideas lol. And you have this (kinda stupid) ongoing feud with a person, I don't think they're going to be that big :)

Aw, I'm glad you liked Vic. TBH I wasn't really trying to convey spoiled here, but I imagine she definitely would be. I imagine Bill and Fleur to be really rich so..absolutely ;) And yes, I thought it would be cute to pair off the people. I actually made a whole mind map figuring out everyone's ages for it (I do have a life, I swear) :)

And I see you've read the next few chapters, but I'm going to say that things will speed up considerably (maybe too much...this is why I shouldn't have started another romance novella)

Anyway, thanks for the lovely review! :D


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Review #12, by Tonks_7 Chapter 13

6th April 2017:
Great chapter. Can't wait for the next one!

Author's Response: Hey Nalini ;)

Glad you liked it. I'll (probably?) be updating in, like, a week. Thanks for reviewing :D


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Review #13, by blackzero Chapter 12

28th March 2017:
Aha. She will now have to plot and scheme to get him back

Author's Response: Definitely ;) Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #14, by Lyfs Chapter 9

25th March 2017:
I'm super confused, you realize that if the chapter right before this she already told molly all that happened? Was molly obliviated or something that she needed to hear the same strory twice?

Author's Response: Omg I didn't realise, I always forget what happened in previous chapters . I'll go edit it straight away :)

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Review #15, by Ray Chapter 12

14th March 2017:
Oo future teddy didn't warn her of this! Poor vic. Thanks for the update, lovely as always.

Author's Response: Yeah, this was something spontaneous I decided to do to lengthen the story ;) But thank you so much for reviewing, I'm glad you like it :D

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Review #16, by lol Chapter 12

14th March 2017:
amazing. story was vey interested. i am looking forward to next chapters. please update faster

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! Currently I'm a little busy with...well, life, but I'm far too attached to this story to not update ;) Thanks so much for reviewing! :)

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Review #17, by Siriusly21 Chapter 10

28th February 2017:
Hey, I really like the premise of this story! I'm not sure how much I like Victoire's inner dialogue because I think more could be done to show how she's feeling through action. Anyways, thanks for writing.

Author's Response: Inner dialogue? Yeah, sometimes I think the chapters are basically just made of that :P I'll keep that in mind when writing the following chapters and try include a bit more action. Thanks for the review :D

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Review #18, by scintillated Chapter 3

24th February 2017:
hm i wonder if victoire and teddy were dating in the future? hm ;) this was a good chapter! we got all the information about what happened, and the chemistry between vic and teddy was so there i just wanted to slam their heads together!! not that teddy would need that ;) great chapter!

Author's Response: Haha, nope, Teddy definitely does not need that ;) a I suppose if they were dating in the future it's impossible to prevent? Makes my brain hurt, to be honest, lol.

But thanks so much for the reviews, I really appreciate it :D


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Review #19, by scintillated Chapter 2

24th February 2017:
this was a nice chapter too! the ending is such a cliffhanger: why are the cousins there? what are they doing? i can't wait to find out!! i just have one question though: how can victoire use the killing curse? the unforgivables require evil intent, right, that's why harry couldn't cast crucio properly. also, aren't they illegal? just wondering! but great chapter!

Author's Response: Yeah, kind of a huge plot hole *whistles innocently*

My way of thinking is that she uses it on animals so it isn't illegal. Sort of like Muggles, because we've probably all killed intentionally a spider at some point :P And if she's driven by fear and her hatred for spiders, I'm guessing Victoire could cast the AK curse .

Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you like it!



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Review #20, by scintillated Chapter 1

24th February 2017:
wow, i've never seen a fanfic before where victoire and teddy hate each other! this was a really good introduction: it really depicts the type of character victoire is, and shows the relationship between teddy and victoire very well. loved it!

Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you liked it :)

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Review #21, by P AND F IS A GREAT STORY Chapter 11

22nd February 2017:
GREAT STORY.
AND NO, UR CHAPTERS AREN'T GETTING WORSE. THIS IS A GREAT STORY, PLEASE CONTINUE.

Author's Response: THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY!

I'm glad you liked the story and I will definitely be updating soon. Thanks so much for reviewing :D


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Review #22, by SilverMoonFairy Chapter 2

5th February 2017:
BvBe-e-e-e- TAG! *salute*

This chapter was fraught with tension at what Teddy would do in retaliation. Your short sentences kept the tension high and kept the story moving and I sort of adore Vic's inner monologue, but wow, what a mouth on her! Or... An inner mouth... In her head. Yeah, let's go with that...

I do have a concern about WHY DOES SHE KNOW THE KILLING CURSE AND WHAT WILL BE THE REPRECUSSIONS OF HER REPEATEDLY USING IT?! I mean, sheesh! She's what, 15? 16? Still in school? KILLING SPIDERS WILLY NILLY?! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL- Okay, I'm calm now. But I am wondering about that, if the Ministry is about to be bearing down on her or something- it's call an Unforgivable Curse for a reason and she's under age, so she has the trace on her. I think personally, I would have used 'reducto' and then repaired the bathroom. Maybe 'immobulus' to stop them from moving...

I would also like to add- what a foul trick to play! She HURT herself. Her KNEES are BLEEDING. Teddy just got a bad taste in his mouth. And those poor gnomes...

Okay, okay. Wonderful chapter, looking forward to the next. One little technical before I go:

do thy know it's my bedroom?!
The 'thy' should be 'they.'

Toodles!
-Liz

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for the review :)

Excuse me for my huge plot hole in this chapter, I always seem to have one ^_^ I think Avada Kedavra is much more serious if it's used on a person, I don't remember JKR saying anything about it being used on animals. I'm imagining the rules to be somewhat like the Muggle world: you don't get sent to prison for murdering spiders (because, let's be honest, most of us have probably all killed a spider before). Yes, Victoire still has the Trace on her, but the Ministry is pretty rubbish at knowing WHO has done the magic in a house, which was proven in the books. So...yeah. That is my (not so convincing) excuse ;)

And I write all my stories on my phone with messed up autocorrect, so yeah, you might come across a few typos. But anyway! Once again, thank you for reviewing, I'm glad you liked the chapter :D


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Review #23, by Ashley Chapter 9

29th January 2017:
It turned out pretty good but now it s high time and u have been waiting for too long so please update the next chapter .

Author's Response: Sorry, I've been a bit busy lately. I actually have the chapter written but I reread it and realised it was...not good. But I've almost got it done so you can expect it to be out in a couple of days :)

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Review #24, by AbraxanUnicorn Chapter 1

24th January 2017:
Hello! Here with a BvB review :)

Firstly, I thought this chapter was a really lovely start to the story. It flows nicely and is easy to follow, drawing the reader in. The idea of Teddy and Victoire "hating" each other for a change is refreshing, and not a widely-used trope. It will be interesting to see how their journey progresses :)

I like the descriptions of the cousins and how they work in pairs; I thought that was really cute! You introduce us to quite a few characters in this chapter, but it doesn't get confusing; kudos for that!

There were a couple of grammatical errors, nothing major; "amounting up to" should be "amounting to", "half an hour" not "half and hour", and the sentence discussing Teddy jinxing and hexing Victoire has "him" instead of me (I think, unless I've read it incorrectly).

Over all, I thought it was a great first chapter! Thank you for an enjoyable read :)

Brax X

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you enjoyed the story so far :D

So yes, I know Teddy and Victoire hating each other isn't very common, so I thought it would be interesting to write that. I often see the Weasley/Potter children divided into groups, so I kind of divided the group to make it even smaller.

There will probably be a lot of grammar errors and typos because I write everything on my phone and autocorrect sometimes 'correct' things without me realising :P

But thank you for review, feel free to do so again ;)


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Review #25, by blackballet Chapter 1

21st January 2017:
Hello there! Im here for B v B on the forums!

I really enjoyed this story, and it seems very original even though I haven't read many Teddy/Victoire stories. I really appreciated Victoire's characterization because it is very distinct. The audience will always be able to identify her. Congrats on creating such a strong character!

There were just a few things that stuck out to me. I find it a bit strange that she says Oh yeah, I forgot to mention only because the reader has never before been addressed by Victoire. It might make more sense if you just said Today is my birthday, or something along those lines.
Also, every time you end dialogue with an exclamation point or question mark, there doesnt need to be a comma afterwards as well. Just something small to refine your writing.

Other than that, I really enjoyed this as a first chapter!
Keep up the good work,

blackballet

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed the story so far :) To be honest, I had no idea I was turning Victoire into such a strong character but I'm fine with what I've created ;) As for my punctuation, I guess I still have a lot to learn :P Thanks for pointing it out though, I'll make sure not to add comas after question marks in the future

Once again, thank you for reviewing! :)


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