Reading Reviews for I Can't
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Rumpelstiltskin I Can't

14th September 2017:
Hello! I'm *finally* here for the Companion Piece Challenge after having been on hiatus. If there's anywhere else you'd prefer your challenge reviews, please feel free to PM me on the Forums and I can always transfer them for you.

I really enjoyed the overall idea of this piece. Not only does it stand by itself nicely, but it offers a glimpse into what could have happened between the fallout of the Mudblood-incident and what happens next in the series, while falling in line with canon.

I especially loved that you used that canon evidence from The Prince's Tale to support this scene. From Lily's tired insistence that she's done because he hasn't shown any signs of changing (he's still hanging out with his Death Eater friends -- meaning he's also probably still dabbling in dark magic -- and, to Lily, that means the world).

And then there's of course, the kicker -- where Lily calls him out on lying to her as children about her muggle-born status. But, of course, Severus still loves her, and it's suggested that Lily might love him back (as suggested by kissing him back) or at the very least has a desperate want of rebuilding their friendship. However, the fact that Severus hasn't changed, and is predicted that he will not change, Lily simply...can't.

So, yes, I think you've done an excellent job handling this scene as a stand-alone piece, and I can't wait to see how it relates to the other two pieces as a whole!

Excellent job!


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Review #2, by AbraxanUnicorn I Can't

13th January 2017:
Hi! Here with a BvB review :)

Firstly, I loved the balance between description and dialogue in this piece; I think you got it spot on.

At the beginning, my sympathy is very much with Severus; to be in love with someone who doesn't love you back in the same way is one of the worst places to be! Then, as he tried to take what wasn't his, and used the spurning almost as an excuse to turn to the dark side, I couldn't be quite so sympathetic towards him. If only he hadn't been such a rude idiot towards her in the first place. I thought you did a fantastic job of creating and building Severus's character throughout this piece without going overboard on words.

Naughty Lily for kissing Severus back! It's good to see a slightly dark side to her; she can come across a bit too sugary some times.

I really enjoyed reading this evocative piece and I love your style of writing. Hopefully, I'll get round to reviewing the other parts to this trilogy soon :)

Author's Response: (It's only been two months, I can still reply... >.>)

Hello there! I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Yes, everyone can be sympathized with until they do the wrong thing, but so many people turn to doing the wrong thing when things like this happen, so... Stupid teenage Dark Arts loving boys, I guess. This is a story I've been dying to tell for a while. It was going to be a one shot with a lot of messy flashbacks and I just- ugh. I hate those things. This way gave me so much more room to play with while still being succinct and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

>.> Well. You see. I figured part of the reason it stung so much was not only because of the lie but because Lily must have loved him, too. I think one of the reasons she disliked James was because Severus disliked him and she liked Severus and she was just waiting for him to pick her over the Dark Arts. At least that's my headcanon.

Anyway! Enough rambling! Thank you for your review! ♥


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Review #3, by SeekerIce20571 I Can't

25th November 2016:
Oh my god. Liz, that was something else. I loved that. It was so emotional and well written. You could really feel Severus and Lily's pain. That was really good.

Author's Response: I'm glad it came through alright. I don't normally do straight angst, so this is a bit of a change for me. I'm glad it came out okay!


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Review #4, by May I Can't

14th October 2016:
Enjoyed your storyline

Author's Response: Thanks, hope you like the rest!


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Review #5, by IchigoPan I Can't

13th October 2016:
BvB Review! *salutes* We really should make this a thing.

I hardly read any Snily (is that the right pairing term?) stories, but THIS. This. Was. Heart-wrenching.

Sniveling, sneaky, nervous Severus trying to profess his love for Lily Evans yet again, only to be rejected for the umpteenth time because of him calling her the M-word. Trying his damndest to make amends, his fiery Gryffindor love of his life would see nothing of it.

And she kissed back?! Back?! Lily, what are ya doin'?! At least she was able to keep her cool and tell him to leave before things got further.

My very small critique would be the use of 'that' in "his heart hammering so loudly that he thought the whole castle would hear him." I think the 'that' there could simply be replaced with a comma to make the reading flow smoother, if that makes sense.

And you know I have to ask: What happens next?!

-ichigo :D

Author's Response: I believe that's the right term? And yay! I was going for heart-wrenching! NAILED IT!

Wow, that's a better summary than I had, hahaha!

Of course she kissed back! I always felt that part of the reason she could never forgive Severus was because she really did have feelings for him, but with everything else between them (houses, death eaters, James) she couldn't tell him. However, if she had, I think things would have gone a lot differently...

I will get right on that! And there are two other parts to this collection, so... I guess read them if you want to know what happens.

Thanks for the lovely review! ♥


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