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Reading Reviews for Storm
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Rumpelstiltskin Fix You

14th September 2017:
Hello, I'm back for the final piece of the Companion Piece Challenge.

Ah, Harry during a childbirth scene. I love it. I love it especially since he's so absolutely terrified -- and who wouldn't be? Once again, I liked the idea that, because of everything Harry went through, he couldn't bear to hear the screams that have been continuously haunting him, forcing him to move himself away from his child-bearing wife. Because he couldn't lose her. Not now that he'd gotten her back.

I do really appreciate the flashback to the scene between the first two pieces, where Harry finds Ginny to win her back. I particularly enjoyed how you placed it in this last piece, where Harry is able to recall how he had 'just won her back'.

Of course, the ending is so tender and sweet, with the birth of James. I think you handled this piece very nicely. The moment Harry looks at his son in his arms and realizes that he now, officially, has a family of his own is absolutely beautiful.

As a stand-alone story, especially with the strength behind the flashback, I think it was handled exceptionally well. As the final companion to the other two pieces, I also found that it wrapped things up nicely, tying off any extra loose ends.

Overall, I found the three pieces quite enjoyable.

After I finish reading the other entries and filling out their rubrics, I'll be making announcements for the winners on the Forums (and possibly Twitter and/or Tumblr).

Thanks so much for participating, and sorry for the dreadfully long wait!

-Rumpels

Author's Response: I'm glad that him being away from Ginny during this moment was believable. It wasn't so much that he didn't want to be there, but he was so worried he was going to lose her that he just had to get out, you know? I'm so glad that came through well.

Thanks! I just had that last scene in my mind and I knew that was how I had to tie everything together; it stuck out and wouldn't go away XD

I'm so glad you enjoyed all three pieces!! I had a lot of fun writing them, and they were definitely a challenge as well.

Thank you so much for finally getting around to reviewing everything!! I always appreciate the feedback ♥


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Review #2, by Rumpelstiltskin Demons

14th September 2017:
Hello, back again for the Companion Piece Challenge.

I really did enjoy how you've brought the element of Harry's continuous nightmares to this post-war piece. Especially given Harry's past, I can't imagine they would end. Also given the nature of his past, I can see where he could believe that any happiness he'd attained could be just as easily ripped away from him. Poor Harry.

I really enjoyed the Hinny element in this. I thought it was not only sweet, but I loved the interaction between the two. Ginny's able to talk Harry away from his demons, if only for a few moments. I also think that you've done a good job with both Harry and Ginny's characters in this piece, and I really do love the idea of Harry finding his strength in Ginny.

Your writing, once again, was quite lovely. Everything was clear and it flowed rather nicely. As a stand alone piece, I thought that it was strong as a vignette piece looking into a moment of Harry and Ginny's relationship. As a companion to the first, I found that it nicely followed 'Broken Dreams' in succession.

Nicely done, and I'll see you in the next section!

Author's Response: Hello again!

Yeah, I had a hard time believing that his nightmares would end, especially after the war too. I just want to snuggle him here -- which is weird for me XD

Thank you so much! Characterization is always important to me, especially canon characters, and particularly Ginny. Book!Ginny is my favorite, so it's always great to hear when I get her right.

I'm glad everything flowed rather nicely! I wasn't sure how it would look as a whole, so I'm glad everything is falling into place.



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Review #3, by Rumpelstiltskin Broken Dreams

14th September 2017:
Hello! Now that I'm finally back, I'm *finally* getting to reviewing challenge entries for grading. (If you prefer your reviews elsewhere, please feel free to message me on the Forums and I can transfer them.)

I feel so badly for Harry. Not only has he already had an extremely tough life, but I can imagine that the aftermath of the war was probably one of the toughest of all (which is what you have exemplified in this piece).

In this predicament, I find it's often helpful for the protagonist to have something to focus on (something to give them that little extra will to live). You've done a good job with this by bringing Harry's affection toward Ginny Weasley into the picture, where he's focused on winning her back.

I particularly enjoyed the scene where he's venting to his dead parents at their grave. It's a sad moment, but it also allows for the reader to gain some insight into what Harry's feeling, which I'm certain will be useful for the rest of the pieces.

As part of a whole, I feel like this will be a strong start and makes a great introduction to the remainder of the companion stories. As a stand-alone story, it's mostly strong enough to stand on its own. Your writing is clear and concise, and I appreciate the job you did with Harry's characterization (especially since you are displaying him in such a grief-filled state).

Overall, I think you've done a good job so far, and I look forward to reading the next section.

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hey Rumpel! Thanks for taking time for the reviews :)

I'm glad you liked the scene where he's at his parents' graves. I thought it was the best way to kind of show where Harry's head was at in this particular moment, and he probably felt like he didn't have a lot of other people he could talk to. Sure, people would listen, but they might not fully understand, y'know?

I'm glad you liked Harry's characterization! He's one of those characters I struggle to write the most, so I'm glad I managed to do an okay job here.

Thanks for the review! ♥


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Review #4, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Broken Dreams

12th April 2017:
Miraculously, she still considered him a war hero.

You know how Harry is. Heís always so self-deprecating. I understand he has gone through so much loss and he blames himself, I mean why wouldnít he? Plus, he never had a family, a real family, until he was plopped into the wizarding world but all he ever brought people when he appeared was grief. Or so he thinks. That has to be extremely hard and is a sad way to live life. No matter what heíll always blame himself and that just isnít fair. In order to properly let go he has to accept the fact that it wasnít all because of him.

They would have fought Voldemort with or without him.

If he could feel it, then at least he would know he was still alive.

Heís so depressed. Itís unfortunate because he has done so many great things but depression doesnít discriminate. It hits whoever, whenever.

I thought it was super sweet to see Harry visiting his parentsí graves. I donít see that too often in stories. Why wouldnít he? Why wouldnít he visit a ton of graves, a good majority of the people he cared for died. He would pay his respects somehow, wouldnít he? Iím surprised he actually spoke out loud to them. Harry always seems like to me less of a talker. I thought he would internalize it and maybe in his mind heíd be standing there talking to them without really talking to them, does that make any sense?

Heís going to win Ginny back, well, alright then! Thatís the perfect way to get your life back in order. Iím prepared to see how. I always wondered how they got together. I donít think she would have made it easy for him and I can understand why. Excellent chapter. Your writing just flows so easily it went by in a breeze.

Author's Response: Hey Deeds!

I completely agree. Harry would definitely go visit gravesites, especially to his parents. I think part of the reason I chose to write dialogue here was so that it would break up some of the exposition, tbh, but you're right, he's definitely less of a talker and more internalized. It does make sense :)

Haha right?! Go win back the girl and that'll solve all your problems! I totally agree that she'd give him a hard time about it.

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it&hearst;


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Review #5, by MuggleMaybe Broken Dreams

3rd December 2016:
JILL! Hello dear! ♥

First of all, I apologize that this is a bit late. Eep.

Second of all, if I'd known this was going to be so sad I wouldn't--

No, I'm just kidding. (DEFINITELY kidding!) It is very sad of course, but sad can be good. In this case, sad is moving and compassionate and desperate and so very Harry-like.

I've only read a little of your Ginny/Seamus writing although it's a ship I find interesting. It's cool that you decided to look at it through Harry's eyes here.

I think what breaks my heart the most in this story is Harry's need to escape from the Burrow, which has always been this safe-haven for him. With the war over, he deserves to feel safe and at peace, but he doesn't and I find it very believable but also devastating.

And he visits James' and Lily's graves. Oh my poor heart. The things he said... I really hope the rest of this story has him arriving at a happier place because *sobs*

One thing I really like is the parallel between Harry's determination to try again with Ginny, and what we know was James' determination to win over Lily. It's like the Potter men just have to go for the one who got away, and I love that echo.

You pack SO much emotion into this short one-shot chapter, and I found Harry very in character, even though I wish he didn't have to feel this way. Brilliant job, as usual.

My semester will be over soon, and I definitely hope to catch up on a lot of fic during my break. Starting with this story (and a box of tissues, because jeez)!

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Eep, Renee! HAI! ♥

I'm so glad you thought it was Harry-like. As you probably know, he's not a character I write often because I find him to be very difficult so I'm glad you thought he was in character here.

Yeah, I figured the Weasleys would be very smothering, and especially after the Senny stuff, I could see him using a break so I'm glad that you could, too, even without reading everything else. ♥

You know, I didn't even notice that parallel, but you're totally right! Those Potter boys and their determination :P

Thank you so much for the lovely review! And also, I miss you and hope to see you around more. Good luck with the end of your semester!!

♥♥Jill


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Review #6, by Dirigible_Plums Demons

3rd December 2016:
Hello!

I honestly don't know how it slipped my mind that I had a challenge up, but it did. I'm here now though! You are free to punch me in the face for my tardiness, I fully deserve it.

"It was over before it could begin" is one of those sentences that manage to hook you in straight away purely to see what happens and I am glad to say that this time was no different. I have to admit that the first few lines actually had me worried because I was sure that Harry was a goner and that would've undoubtedly broken my heart. But I guess that's the point :P

Poor Harry. To be haunted with such vivid nightmares that realistically could've happened if things had panned out differently must be awful. They went through so much during the war that I don't blame him for feeling so awful half the time. I do think it's sweet how he tries to shield Ginny from it, even after all this time.

Speaking of which, I absolutely LOVED the Hinny here. I am a sucker for this ship and to read about it in any form just has me sold. This line in particular (" They were written in the stars - and considering heíd never been very good at Divination while at Hogwarts, it said something of his confidence that Ginny and he was the one thing he knew he could count on.") had my little heart melting. It's sappy but has just enough Harry in it to make me want all the sap. But honestly, I think it really says something about the love they share that they shoulder through the after effects of the war together as if it's second nature to them 💕

Ahaha there's a little mention of Senny (Sinny?) here! Why am I not surprised 😜

All in all, this was a lovely little entry to read and I thank you for entering it in!

Plums xo

Author's Response: Oh hey, Plums! Nice to see you here :)

Don't worry about the delay, I'm just happy you made it here and had the time to read this.

I really loved that line and it took me in a totally different direction than I originally intended, but I always knew it had to be about Harry. I can't imagine him surviving the war without having horrific nightmares all the time, though.

I'm so glad you loved the Hinny! It's a ship I don't normally write or like all that much, so I'm so so glad that you enjoyed it as a shipper. ♥

Senny! Of course there was :P I can't write Hinny *without* mentioning them.

Thanks so much for the great challenge!

♥ Jill


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Review #7, by Felpata Lupin Fix You

13th October 2016:
Hey, Jill! :D
I'm here to check out this story, since it was nominated for SotM.
Aww... baby James... how adorable!!!
After all the angst, this final scene, Harry holding his son for the first time, realizing that he isn't alone anymore, that he has something worth living for, just warms my heart and feels me with joy!

As always, your writing is incredible. You have the most beautiful description, all emotions are so vivid and real, you capture the characters so perfectly. I just loved everything, as heartbreaking as it is.

Sorry if this review is a bit quick, but I really need to go now... just know that I love what you have here so far!

Wonderful job, as always!
Snowball hug!
Chiara

Author's Response: Oh hello, Chiara!

I got the idea for the last scene and texted my friend/beta about it, and she was like, "YOU HAVE TO WRITE THIS NOW", sooo... that's where that came from, but I'm glad you enjoy it too! It makes me really happy too.

Ooh stop Chiara, you're making me blush! But really, thank you so much. This means a lot to me ♥

No need to apologize! I'm happy that you stopped by for this lovely surprise :)


Jill


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Review #8, by victoria_anne Fix You

11th October 2016:
-EEE!

Oh my God, you'll never guess what song started playing as I was writing the last review (but I didn't really notice at the time because who can listen to music and do stuff at the same time? Oh, most people? Okay) but yes, DEMONS! That's banaynays.

Anywho.

I also like Coldplay. This story is great!

I literally have zero criticism for all three chapters. Not a comma out of place ♥ (These reviews, on the other hand...) I just adore your writing always ♥

I also love how each chapter is a progression in Harry and Ginny's relationship. It was never easy, but that's life, isn't it? Also, I think it's so realistic for Harry to be having a bit of PTSD when hearing Ginny's screams. Thoughts of the war would never be far from his mind.

You do the whole companion thing so well (I guess I never really understood what it meant until now) with the flashback of Harry chasing after Ginny. It just completes everything and I'm very impressed and very *squee*

Dawww :D what a sweet little ending. Harry has someone to protect again ♥ I thoroughly enjoyed this, Jill (obviously, I just binge read) even if it isn't the ship I normally expect from you! Goes to show how versatile you are!

♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: These reviews made me chuckle and so happy, I don't care if they're grammatically incorrect.

It seems like you have good taste in music! :P

I'm so glad you liked that bit with Harry and James' birth. The war is never far from him, and after hearing people be tortured, I definitely feel like it would freak him out a bit.

Thanks! I was unsure about the flashback at first, but like you said, I felt like it brought everything back into a nice neat circle from the beginning.

D'aw! Thanks so much for these reviews, B! I'm not a huge Hinny shipper at all, but I love James and Al so that's kind of a problem. This was my solution.



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Review #9, by victoria_anne Demons

11th October 2016:
Alrighty, I'm back. I looove Imagine Dragons, so this is fantastical start already BOOYAH.

Ooh I love how Cursed Child this is. I literally had the scene from the play in my mind as I read ♥ Does that go to show how good your characters are? Because it should.

Aw this had such a nice ending! I thought it would be another dark chapter, it certainly started off that way (goosebumps, for realz) but I love how Ginny makes him strong. It's perfectomundo ♥

Onto the next chapter, WEEE-

Author's Response: Thanks! I actually kind of forgot this was a thing in Cursed Child, but I'm glad that you think my characters are still kind of canon! You know I struggle with that/it's important, haha.

This review had me cracking up. Thank you! ♥


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Review #10, by victoria_anne Broken Dreams

11th October 2016:
Oh Merlin. Am I even ready for this?! Methinks thou will make me sad-eth.

Never mind, there's Senny ♥

I love this: Whatís a Savior to do when thereís no one left to save? It really jumps out at me. I think it's perfect for Harry right after the war, he'd be without a purpose, really. With no school, Horcruxes, bad guys, girl... It really resonates here.

What are all these shards on the floor? Oh, it's just MY HEART! Gah, Harry at his parents' graves is just... gah D: Beautiful, beautiful writing though, Jilly.

I had planned to just review this chapter for now, and come back later, but he's going to get the girl back?! MUST READ ON!

EXCELSIOR!

Author's Response: OH HAI, B!

I really loved that line too; I felt like it summed him up quite nicely after the war.

Err.. sorry for making you sad? But I'm not.



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Review #11, by TidalDragon Fix You

1st October 2016:
The conclusion! I really enjoyed this and in particular the note the story ends on after so much struggle. What intrigues me as well is the timeline. I suspect that there was a real purpose in the symmetry of making Harry's journey to defeat Voldemort be captured in seven years (once he became aware of the threat) and then his journey after defeating him to discovering happiness and family taking the same amount of time. So bravo. Part of me hates it, especially for him, but I like the symmetry :P

Speaking of symmetry, I also like the way the flashback weaves in a connection to Harry and Ginny's first kiss. Then, as in the flashback, she is the initiator of that physically deepening and connection and I thought it fit nicely both for that reason and because it makes her severing the old flame with Seamus more a desired, affirmative act on her part than something she was "cornered into."

In closing on all three chapters, I just want to say that I think it's rather incredible the way you were able to connect these across multiple challenges, across multiple months, and in spite of the fact that I have a strong sense you prefer Ginny with Seamus. Kudos! And thanks for sharing these with us!

Author's Response: I really wanted there to be some light at the end of the tunnel with these two - they are a canon pairing after all, and I wanted them to have some happiness after the war and all of that. As for the seven years; I was looking more for a realistic timeline, not something that could be cured quickly, but the symmetry does work quite well :P

Thank you so much for these reviews! They really have made my day, and... well... I have no idea what you're talking about *innocent whistling*. I've come to love Harry and Ginny as parents, so I felt I needed to give them a story that made sense in my universe, so I'm glad you thought it was believable.

Thank you so much for these kind words, Kevin! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

♥Jill


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Review #12, by TidalDragon Demons

1st October 2016:
I have returned and I heartily approve of this shift :P

Regardless, I really enjoyed the picture of Harry and Ginny's relationship that you painted here and the dynamics of it. There's no question that the parts of them that made each character "them" in canon still remain. But at the same time, you allow it not to be ignorant of the past and there are new shades and depth on those traits that I think have to be appreciated post-war. Though it may sound strange to highlight so much, I think what really drove these things home for me was the facial expressions and clarifications of tone you utilized in their conversation. So often, these are actually signs people miss (or ignore) in canon of the connection that Harry and Ginny have and you showed us how that connection has been restored and now persists using such signals similarly. I would say Harry's a lucky man with his "not anymore" business and seemingly lingering insecurity about that, but given that I don't know how fresh the break was maybe it's more understandable. I hope clinging to that here isn't a sign of negatives to come though...

Two things that jumped out at me that may be worth just taking a look at are these: (1) "...or Voldemort rising yet again and killing her out of spite of his happy ending" and (2) the mixed up his/hers in their kiss at the end.

The second speaks for itself, but the first, unless I'm tired, just doesn't seem as clear as it should. I think I understand the meaning, but the first part seems to obviate the third (i.e. if Voldemort rose again, did Harry ever have a happy ending for Ginny to be killed in spite of). I don't know, that's just how it struck me.

ANYWAY, I am enjoying this collection of companion pieces so far and look forward to the third and final. See you there!

Author's Response: Glad to see you back here!

I'm honestly so flattered by that, Kevin. Canon is important to me for canon characters, and I try hard to keep them who they are while giving them room to change, so I'm glad that you thought that. Facial expression and tone are something I'm trying to incorporate more as well.

Hmm... I'll have to look at those two now that you mention it. Thanks for pointing them out!

♥Jill


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Review #13, by TidalDragon Broken Dreams

1st October 2016:
Howdy Jill! So...as promised, you are getting reviews on this Hinny collection you've assembled. Though I came in expecting it, I might be as angry as Harry right now (kidding :p).

It's always interesting to me the way that people portray the characters post-war and what the particular reactions are. Given that Hinny is my OTP, I tend to disagree with the blame-game or moved-on ones on a headcanon level, but they always intrigue me.

ANYWAY, I thought the emotional language you used in this piece was easily its strongest element. We could absolutely feel Harry's emotions from beginning to end here, and even though sometimes he was telling us exactly what they were, that directness seemed appropriate to how raw it all still is for him.

Closely following the emotions was the description. This might be surprising (or not) because of how much of this piece is more in Harry's head, but I thought it strengthened the story that you didn't let that get you lazy about them when they were around.

If I had a bit of CC, it's that I didn't think the dialogue was as strong in comparison, but it was ultimately a minor thing in light of the whole story.

On to the next installment!

Author's Response: Hello, Kevin! I'm still surprised that you made your way over here, so thank you so much for the reviews!

I'm so glad that you could feel what Harry was feeling; I wrote this piece on a whim of inspiration, but I had a clear image of what I wanted to accomplish. And I've been working on my descriptions in all of my pieces, so I'm really happy that they were able to strengthen the story as well.

That's interesting, because I tend to pride myself on dialogue, but I don't normally write Harry - or one-sided conversations, so I can see what you mean in this particular piece.

Thank you again for stopping by!
♥Jill


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