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Reading Reviews for (un)forgettable
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Crumple-Horned Snorkac (un)forgettable

30th October 2016:
Greetings my friend, and happy day of birth. I am the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, and I have left my hiding place in the woods this morning specifically to sneak into the archives and leave a birthday review for you.

Poor Lysander, getting humiliated like that. It was very bold of him to go and make such a dramatic declaration in the first place. And his history with Lily is even sadder, that he's liked her for so long but she fell for his twin brother instead.

I do appreciate what an open-minded person Lysander is. Just the fact that he knows how to discourage Wrackspurts from getting into his head proves what a smart person he is. Some people have never even heard of Wrackspurts, and others don't think Bigfoot exists! A sad state this world is in.

His date Patty doesn't seem to have that open-mindedness though. The fact that she's calling Lysander a girl to insult him, that particularly struck me as annoying - what exactly is she saying about girls? And she's a girl herself. Her bigotry towards different lifestyles makes her hard to sympathise with, as well. Not everyone can be raised by someone as nonjudgemental as Luna Lovegood, my favourite human, but Patty doesn't even seem like she's trying to understand.

The ending was so sad. Bittersweet, really, because Lysander finally admits to his feelings after so long, but there's not a whole lot Lily can do since she's dating his brother, and Lysander doesn't want to upset either of them. It was sad, but it was a great ending and I loved the way the dramatic declaration circled back.

This was a great story! And with that I must be on my way to a forest Halloween gathering. My friend Bigfoot and I are dressing as humans for Halloween. Hopefully we will be convincing, because I have never actually seen one in person. Bigfoot has, but he only has a blurry picture to show for it, so that's what we have to work with. At any rate, I hope you have a wonderful birthday!

Author's Response: Oh great Crumple-Horned Snorkack! You once again grace me with your presence! I apologize for not replying sooner, but I was trapped by the world known as NaNoWriMo... This was one of the best birthday presents I got!

Lysander was an interesting individual to get to know. I very much enjoyed writing his story and I have a thing for unrequited love.

Patty is simply a product of her upbringing, I'm afraid. She doesn't realize she's being offensive. No one has ever really sat her down and told her that some of the things she does and says bother people. I actually know a lot of people like her. I would like to bring her back in another story. Where we only really got to know her surface qualities here, I fell like there might be a lot more to Patty than meets the eye.

I like making my stories circular...>.>

I'm sure you and Bigfoot made great humans! I myself have trouble passing as one most days. The struggle is real. I hope you had a wonderful time at your party and thank you so much for thinking of me on my birthday!

-Liz


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Review #2, by Dirigible_Plums (un)forgettable

17th October 2016:
Wow.

I was not expecting that. I know you mentioned that it didn't turn out the way you were expecting but - woah.

[Also: hi! It's Plums here with the review that I promised in return for your entry into my challenge. I actually read this a while ago but I needed to find a moment to just breathe and actually get my thoughts together instead of assembling a half-hearted review. Sorry for the long wait!]

The whole point of the challenge was to see where a first line might take you. Like you, I thought up that line as something to start off a comedy - it has just enough ridiculousness [is that a word?] in it to prompt you down that path. Therefore, the way this transformed from a comedy into what we have here is exactly what I'm looking for. Such a unique twist!

I have to say that my favourite part was how Lysander used the opening line at the end when he kissed Lily. At the beginning, it was a loud overdramatic cry, something that only made us pity him... But with Lily, it was so much more and you could really see that. The ending was painted rather vividly in my mind and I had to take a moment to appreciate that.

Speaking of vividness, the characters were so fleshed out! In one shots, it can be quite hard to mould the characters out in such a distinct fashion, but I felt like I had been reading about Lily, Lysander, Lorcan and Patty for several chapters already. I was impressed in particular with how you balanced Lily's personality - the fiery temperament with the softer side to her caring nature - especially in that last scene.

[I really liked that last scene.]

You know, I can really feel for Lysander here. It genuinely must suck to have the girl you've been in love with for years fall for your brother. Especially if you were always there for her and your brother treated her in that immature "i-fancy-you-so-i'm-going-to-be-mean-to-you" way. I don't blame him for feeling frustrated.

Patty though! I was not expecting her to have such bigoted views. I think it's really important that you did introduce them because she didn't seem like an entirely bad character at the beginning - boisterous, yes, but bigot? It showed that not everyone is what you expect of them and also gave a new layer to Andy that went beyond him feeling bad about Lily not being his girlfriend. Also, the way Patty was so flippant about it was a nice touch because it illustrated how people might not even be aware that they're being awful and that it's still not okay.

Anyways, this was a fantastic entry to read. I was incredibly impressed by it. :)

Thank you for entering!
Plums xo

Author's Response: Plums! I knew you didn't forget about me, lol. I totally get it and I'm just glad you enjoyed it. (It really was supposed to be a romcom...)

I'm glad that was your favorite part!!! I have this thing where I like things to be sort of circular... It's becoming a one-shot/short story OCD of mine...

Hehehe, I'm really glad you liked that last scene. Even before it became this, I had it in mind so it was going to be there no matter what.

I was not expecting Patty at all! When I first thought of her, I knew I needed someone that Lysander wouldn't be excited about, but wasn't overall a bad person. And then she needed to have something messed up about her that would sort of be like a deal breaker. Her overall personality I actually half-way stole from a one-off character in a show and just went from there. And she really has no idea she's being mean- I know a ton of people (and have been in similar situations myself) where it's really all in how you were raised. I've had plenty of arguments with my own friends about sensitive issues that we had split views on. The difference being, we were close friends and could talk about it rationally whereas Patty and Lysander aren't friends at all so it comes off a lot more rough than it would if they hung out and he knew what to expect.

You so made my day with this review, btw. Enough that I'm bopping around in my seat and the husband thinks I'm nuts. ^_^

Thanks for the great challenge!
-Liz


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