Reading Reviews for The Order of the Serpent
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Felpata Lupin Life During Wartime

22nd October 2016:
HPFT Werewolf Team Review! :D

Hello, my lovely Kristin!
Finally here to catch up with this wonderful story!

I loved this chapter! Also, an Halloween chapter, how appropriate! :P
And some Marauders and Sirius/Melanie! Yay! Love it!!!

Ahahah! I loved Sirius Apparating right into the living room, that's so much like him. And they really resolved to conjure furniture every day! Eheheh! Definitely cheaper! ;)

The party was lovely. I enjoyed the choices for the costumes. And yes, Peter's was the best one! :P

That was an interesting discussion, about fate and free will. I guess a bit of both? Like choices influence fate and viceversa? But I think free will is predominant. Fate can give us conditions and opportunities but it's up to us to grasp them and build our own path. That's how I see it, at least...

Oh, Merlin! That was a really dark and unexpected turn! (Actually, I did expect something like that, because of the chapter title. It was still a bit of a shock that sudden change of mood).

Oh, Merlin! The poor man! Things are getting gruesome already... so scary... And poor Mandy and Melanie, they must've felt so guilty... But at the same time, it must've all been so sudden and so scary. I can't blame them for not intervening...

I really want to know what happens now, so please, update soon! I want to see Mandy in action! (I like Mandy, she's great!)

All my love and snowball hug!

Author's Response: ♥ ♥ ♥

Yes, I was pretty excited with how the timing worked out on this one! I love seasonally relevant chapters :P

Haha, I'm glad you appreciated Sirius' lack of personal boundaries. He absolutely would Apparate directly into a room. What a jerk. I still love him :')

I am having way too much fun with the furniture subplot. I don't know how it became a subplot, but it is.

Thank you! Peter's costume just seemed so appropriate, in that it's kind of a copout but still clever. And Peter kind of has always thought of himself as the invisible one among the Marauders anyway, so it was like... I had to, you know? :P

I'm glad you liked that discussion! It got surprisingly deep out of nowhere and I honestly think it's such an interesting topic, so I'm glad you enjoyed that too. I like your interpretation of fate vs free will as well. That's a cool way of seeing it, and gets around the things that don't make sense when you just consider fate or free will individually. :)

Yeah, this fic is starting off as a bit of a rollercoaster with fluff and dark stuff, haha! But... I imagine it makes sense considering that even though they're trying to live their lives as normal as they can, they still can't escape the fact that the war is happening all around them :-/

The thing about them not intervening felt like an important point to make. They weren't Gryffindors after all - Sirius or James may have run right in to help, but Melanie and Mandy are more concerned with looking out for themselves and each other, rather than a stranger. But being a bystander is a horrible feeling.

Yay, I'm so happy to hear that you like Mandy :) I enjoyed writing her as a teenager but I love her even more now that she's out of Hogwarts. I can relate to her a lot more than I did in TBAH.

Next chapter I think is where things start really coming together and I'm glad you're so excited about the story! Thank you so, so much for this kind review!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #2, by Felpata Lupin Whispers

17th September 2016:
Wow... this is getting so dark already...
The census idea is so scary. Then, again, we know they did the same in the second war... Still, I can guess why the four friends would find it unsettling!

Ah, I'd almost forgotten Althea... I hope she'll be fine...

And Mandy's parents, too... her mother is surely an intelligent woman, I hope that will suffice to keep them safe.

I wonder what the four friends will do. I loved Mandy's POV here, she's so relatable. Wanting to do something to help making the world better but feeling too small and too fragile to actually be of any help. I feel her so much!

Once again, it was also lovely to have some lightness among the tension of the war, like their apartment not having chairs. That was fun. :P

Oh, and the cat! I love cats! I can't remember Lancelot (lovely name, by the way) from TBAH either... maybe I should reread that story?

Another great chapter! I love how you built the atmosphere already, and I love the characters and the friendship theme! You are so talented, but I tell you that all the time!

Can't wait for more!

All my love and hugs!

Author's Response: yeah. The census would be really scary as no one really knows what they're doing with the information. None of the four Slytherins are directly impacted, but their families and loved ones are, so it's a pretty scary thing.

I'm so glad you like Mandy's POV. I went back and forth for a while before writing this story about what POV to do. After so long in Melanie's head, the shift over to Mandy's POV was kind of interesting, but I really like writing her. (And now I'm kicking myself for giving them both M names, because I keep typing the wrong one, when before Mel was just 'I' :P ) Anyway, I'm so glad to hear that Mandy is relatable in her idealism of wanting to make a difference but the reality that it's difficult to do so.

Omg, I'm having way too much fun with their lack of furniture. Don't worry, you'll see more of that :P

Yeah, I think Lancelot only turned up in like one or two chapters of TBAH, so I'm not surprised he wasn't memorable :P

Thank you so much for your comments about the atmosphere of the story, and I'm so thrilled you love the characters and the overall themes of the story. And I know I tell you all the time too, but you are such an amazing and dedicated reviewer and friend. Thanks so much ♥
*glomps with hugs*

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Review #3, by Felpata Lupin Horizons

17th September 2016:
How did I take so long to get here?!? Shame on me... but I'm here now!

A lot of time has passed since I read TBAH, so I don't remember all details... but it's lovely to see Melanie and Mandy again! I so enjoyed their conversation. The serious parts, but even more the lighter bits. Because, like you say, "Even in the middle of war, life still went on, and some levity was necessary to balance out the rest."

I love all the details and reminds you put in here, their works, Nathan on the run, Charlotte's death (I'm still a bit angry at you about that one, you know?). I also think it's very interesting to hear their thoughts about the war, to feel the atmosphere of uncertainty of those times... you wrote it so well (am I surprised? No, I'm not!)

I also really liked that little mention of Peter (you know I have an obsession for Peter...) Of course he would feel that way, scared and out of place. And I love that's how Melanie feels, too. But Mandy is right, bravery is not lack of fear. It always comes down to how we choose to act, despite our fear, right?

Yes, Pinball! I love Pinball! Great choice, girls! :D

Can't wait to read on. And to see some Marauders, too. I know you said the main focus is girl friendship, but you're going to give me some Sirius/Melanie too, right? :P

I'm not sure this review makes any sense, now that I think about it (I'm tired...) but the concept is that I'm super thrilled about this story (just the fact it exists, you know?) and that I'm loving it so far!

And of course I love you too, my unreliable friend! :D

Snowball hug,

Author's Response: Chiara!! ♥ ♥ Aah, thank you so much for stopping by this story! I was so excited to see these reviews from you ♥

I'm glad that you're glad to see Melanie and Mandy again. It's a bit weird but really nice to be writing them again after so long. I love writing the lighter stuff too :D Since TBAH was mostly all lighter stuff with a bit of dark thrown in, I expect this story to be more of an even mix between light and dark. It's about the war, but more than that it's about people, who have lives outside the war. I'm so glad you liked it :D

I'm glad you liked all the detail! I was trying to sum up the important bits of TBAH that needed to be mentioned here, and there ended up being a lot to summarise :P And Charlotte... Wah, I'm sorry. I'm still sad about that too!

Yes! Thanks, I'm so happy you liked the mention of Peter. I think he's a fascinating character too, and as much as I despise him for what he did later, he was still their friend at this point, and I guess here I was just trying to show that his being scared wasn't anything to scoff at, and kind of make him relatable to the protagonists. Probably a lot of people were scared.

Haha, I love Pinball too :D Earlier this year I used to live near this huge pinball museum full of a bajillion pinball machines from every decade since the 50s, and that probably influenced this chapter a tiny bit XD

The Marauders will definitely be in this story, though probably not to the extent they were in TBAH. But don't worry, I love them and wouldn't dream of leaving them out of the story :D As you noticed this story is not from Mel's POV - everything is filtered through the lens of Mandy here, so the dynamics of Sirius and Mel will be different. But they will absolutely be there. In fact, your favourite four Gryffindors are in chapter 3 in all their hilarity. Special preview: Sirius will be dressed as a giant squid.

Your review made perfect sense and it was the nicest and most wonderful review in the world. ♥ ♥ Thank you SO much for stopping by to read and review! Love you!

P.S. Snowball hug!
P.P.S. #teamunreliability2k15
P.P.P.S. ♥

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Review #4, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Whispers

15th September 2016:
OH wow.. things are already heating up quite a bit here just in the second chapter! These are definitely dark times the wizard world is facing! Honestly, now that I think about it, I don't think I've read too many stories about how the first war got started, and all the disappearances, the Muggle-born registration, so this is quite a unique perspective for me!

The thing that hit me most about this chapter was again, your ability to communicate those emotions. I was just reading along at the start of this chapter when Charlotte was mentioned, and just BAM!, Grief! It was almost palpable! You didn't spend a lot of time talking about it, but the words that you did use were so powerful that it really hit me with a sense of sadness. And, a little later on in the chapter, you hit me with the nervous feeling over everything going on with the war... You are very talented!! ♥

Can I just say that I LOVE that these are not two, but FOUR Slytherins who don't agree with Voldemort's ideals!? That's really a breath of fresh air, so original! And I love Russell and Hector, they're really funny! :P

This is another brilliant chapter and I'm really excited (and also slightly anxious) to see where things will go from here! I hope to see more of this soon!! ♥

Author's Response: Honestly, I'm glad you think that, because I kind of wondered if this story started too slow :P So that is good to hear! Dark times indeed, though. The first war would have started years before this, when they were in school, but it is a beginning in a way as this is the first year they're out of school and having to fully deal with the war outside of the safety of Hogwarts. I'm so glad you like the perspective!

omg, thank you so much for the comment about communicating emotions. I've never seen that as one of my strong points so that really means a lot to me that you think so! ♥ eep, thanks!

Yay, I'm so glad you love that! I have always been kind of offended on Slytherin House's behalf that they always get portrayed as evil/ jerks/ future Death Eaters, when it's a bit unrealistic for an entire house to be like that. Just because they're ambitious/determined doesn't mean they're BFF's with Voldemort, so yeah, I really wanted to explore different sides of Slytherin qualities here and especially the lives of people who weren't in the Order. Thank you, I'm glad you like the characters! They really are so close to my heart by this point and I love when people love them :D

My computer is recently repaired so I'll be working on the next chapter soon. Thank you sooo much for stopping by and reading and reviewing. You leave such wonderful reviews! ♥ You're the best.

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Review #5, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Horizons

15th September 2016:
So you've got a new story, eh? Well I'll just have to stop by and read and review it then, won't I? :P And YAY, there are already two chapters!!

I'm really excited to start reading something that focuses on female friendship instead of romance - I really think this will fill a void, indeed! And you're off to a great start - I haven't TBAH (yet) but you've definitely given a great introduction into the characters and a bit of what's been going on in their lives.

You also did a really great job with conveying emotions, even here in the first chapter there's clear worry about Nathan, as well as just everyone in general based on what's going on with the war - you did an awesome job of conveying that.

I really like how odd a pair the girls are - you mentioned how one wants to run away while the other wants to fight, and I think best friends do tend to be a bit opposite in some ways like that, so it's very realistic and adds a whole other layer to their friendship.

Your description was great, also - I really liked how the conversation took place over the cooking, and I had to chuckle when the parsley started flying. :P

Anyway, this is a brilliant first chapter and I'm off to the next now! Well done, lovely, and Congratulations on starting a new story! I'm so excited for you! ♥

Author's Response: OMG JAYDE HI!!! ♥ eek, thank you, this was such a wonderful surprise!

there really are too few stories that focus on friendship, particularly between two girls, and I think that was a huge part of what motivated me to actually write this story down. TBAH is long and I'm not expecting most people to have read it, so this story should be able to stand on its own. I'm glad everything makes sense so far and the characters seem well introduced despite them being new to you.

The war is such a sad time in wizarding world history, and while I'd touched on it in other stories, it will feature pretty heavily in this one. I'm so glad to hear you thought the emotions in the chapter were well written!

Aw, I love that you appreciated the differences between the girls and how they seem realistic. I never really thought of it like that, about the dynamics of best-friendships, but what you say makes perfect sense.

Thank you, I'm so glad you liked the description! Haha, and yes parsley flew. It may be the middle of a war, but at the end of the day these are two teenage girls trying to figure out how to live in the real world, and life goes on, as they say.

Thanks SO much for stopping by and reviewing, it means so much to me. I'm thrilled that you like the story so far.

Thank you *hugs Jayde* ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #6, by victoria_anne Horizons

1st September 2016:
So I haven't read Brave at Heart but this sounds totes cool, so I'ma read it. But first, a fact:

Playing the violin burns approximately 170 calories per hour (and here was you thinking I just wanted to be musical :P)

Not gonna lie, for a second I though it was Gilderoy Lockhart entering the shop.

I rode a dragon into outer space and discovered the origin of magic." I had a dream like this once.

Aw poor Mandy's parents! A great way of reminding us of how awful the war was :(

Ooh they were Slytherins? (I'm assuming this was all in BaH, and now I want to read that!)

OMG I read aubergine and thought it said augurey and I was like "is... is that legal? Tastes like chicken?"

Sorry. Focus.

Okay okay. Well I'm completely sucked into the characters, even if a clear plot hasn't been established so far. You've definitely made me want to read the previous one, but I know this one will be brilliant, because everything you do is.

You're amazeballs.

And your hair looks so good today

♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: The idea is that reading TBAH isn't necessary for understanding this one, so yeah that's cool :)

Wow that's a great workout. And as a bonus it greatly strengthens your chin and left shoulder muscles from holding up the instrument. :P

Bahaha. I actually wrote a story about Gilderoy Lockhart once. And Melanie and Mandy had cameos in it as well! (just not by name) :P

yeah, as this is set mid-war there will probably be a lot of such reminders. :(

They were Slytherins, yep! :) Not all of the snakes became Death Eaters of course, so this story kind of explores the roles of the ones who were overshadowed by others in the war.

ahaha that would have been awful. :P

Ah, yay! I'm glad you like the characters so far! And yeah, the plot does kind of start slow in this one because right now they're sort of clueless about how to adult/ how to sort out their lives post-Hogwarts. AHH and thank you! you're so sweet, I'm thrilled that you like my writing, thank you ♥

hahaha Why thank you! You have beautiful eyes.

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Review #7, by PaulaTheProkaryote Horizons

28th August 2016:
Hello! :D

So, full disclosure, I haven't read The Brave at Heart but now I want to. This story's summary was so tempting I had fully planned to read it even if it wasn't a stand alone (I'm wild like that).

I really like 1. That you are providing representation for Slytherin beyond the typical stereotypes of death eater bad boys. and 2. This story isn't romance fueled but rather friendship fueled. You're right, we need way more of that.

I rode a dragon into outer space and discovered the origin of magic" That's EXACTLY what I imagine is going on in the Department of Mysteries at any given moment.

I like the dark overtones and the hush hush feeling you've got in the story. It almost feels like a nice fluff and then BAM reminder how dark the wizarding world is at this time of war. I like the idea of people actively passing out leaflets for safety. I'm not sure how many of them will actually use the information but it's nice to see people interested and trying.

That would have been a nightmare, not knowing if your parents were alive or dead. I can see why Mandy would actively hand out the leaflets but I'm sure that makes her a target for the group.

"Peter and I both kind of wonder what were doing there at all" OH. Having someone else thinking maybe they don't really belong in the OOTP somehow softens Peter's betrayal and gives it a more interesting back story to me. Although I don't think Melanie would so easily betray her friends.

I agree a lot with Mandy's line of thinking. I think if some hit squad like the death eaters took over I'd probably just want to get out of their reach. I do like Melanie's reasoning though that it's hard to just pick up and go not to mention we all feel like we're invincible.

As far as all the boring technical parts of reviews: I really think your characters are just absolutely so interesting. They are very distinct from one another and they seem to be really well thought out. Your dialogue flows so beautifully and naturally. It's definitely one of your strengths. I believe every line I'm reading.

I think this is a really sweet start to this story. I love, love, love the relationship dynamics between the girls and I can't wait to see what else happens with the pair of them. I really feel like I need to go back and read the other story so expect more reviews from me immediately.

Author's Response: PAULA YOU LOVELY HUMAN. Thank you for leaving me such amazing reviews! I'm so glad the story summary drew you in despite it being a sequel! Look at you, living on the edge reading a sequel first :P

Yeah, I'm not a huge fan of the stereotype that all the Slytherins at Hogwarts were jerks who either joined Voldemort or did nothing, so this story is my response to that. And yes! As important as romance is, I think the huge importance of friendship-love often gets forgotten about in fiction - and in real life! I mean, as a society we celebrate weddings (true love!) but there's nothing equivalent that celebrates when you want to be friends with someone for your whole life. You know?

Hahaha, I always found the Department of Mysteries SO fascinating - whatever they're doing HAS to be cool. I imagine it as sort of the Area-51 of the magical world. They are both miles underground, and kept totally secret, and probably have all sorts of knowledge about aliens :P Part of me wonders if I should have kept this story from Mel's POV just so I could delve into the Department of Mysteries. But I digress...

Thank you so much, I'm really glad you like the tone of the story so far! That's exactly what I was going for, kind of how life goes on but there's this foreboding feeling you can't shake, that the war is just outside.

I love what you said about Peter, and how the idea that other people felt like they didn't belong in the Order kind of puts Peter in a different context. I'm so glad to hear that. I think it'd honestly be quite amazing if no one in the Order had any fear or any hesitation about what they were doing and how dangerous it was. And I know Peter is rarely shown as a relatable character, but he is only human and I like to try and write at least a little bit of relatability (? well, it's a word now) into characters.

Ooh, I like that you agree with both Melanie and Mandy's reasoning, seeing as they have kind of opposite approaches by this point :P

Thank you, I'm so thrilled to hear that you like the characters and find them interesting, and that you like the dynamic of their friendship. And that is wonderful to hear about the dialogue. I'd never really thought of dialogue as a strength of mine before so that means a lot, thank you!

This review was such a treat (as were the others on TBAH, which I'm kind of impressed you started reading already :P ) Thank you so much ♥ ♥

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Review #8, by SunshineDaisies Horizons

22nd August 2016:

I'm here for the gift tag thread and I'm so pleased that I did because I discovered this and this is kind of my jam. I mean obviously I'm obsessed with marauders era, but I've recently become enamored with the idea of OCs existing in the periphery of canon.

I've never seen anything like this done before! I love the idea of people who are resisting but aren't necessarily in the resistance. That's probably where I would end up in a war, so it's super interesting to look at how that's going to play out for Mandy and Melanie. I also adore the fact that you're writing about SLYTHERINS. They're such an unappreciated group, especially in this era. Obviously there were innocent Slytherins during this time, just as there were in Harry's time, they just tend to get overshadowed by the bad guys.

You've certainly done a great job of introducing the story, and it definitely reads as a stand alone novel as well as a sequel. I've never read The Brave At Heart (but apparently I need to check that out), and I don't feel like I've really missed anything. I do wish I knew a bit more about Charlotte, but I feel pretty confident I can get that information from reading TBAH. I also don't feel like this is necessarily a story about Charlotte, or the aftermath of her death, so knowing about her isn't vital at this juncture. Their motives are still clear. (Not that one needs a ton of motivation to work against Voldemort, really.)

I really hope you update this soon because I'm so excited for it!

Author's Response: HI KATIE ♥

Eep, thank you so much for visiting this story! I'm so glad to hear that you're excited about it.

Ahh and I'm especially glad to hear that you think the idea is original. I think I would end up somewhere like this in a war too, and when reading the books it never seemed like there was a place for those people. You either had to battle Voldemort, or do nothing, and the people who didn't battle Voldemort in the book were totally frowned on. But in reality I think there would be a lot of people who cared but weren't up for duelling with Death Eaters, and that's totally fair. :P And yes! I love Slytherins and I think they get a pretty unfair representation in the books/a lot of fic because of the ones that Harry decides to talk about. They can't have ALL been bad.

Glad to hear that it reads well as a stand alone. While this story won't have much to do with Charlotte, I'm glad you pointed out that it'd be nice to know more about her - I think I'll drop some hints in this story about what happened to her just in case you're not the only one who wonders! :P And... haha, a disclaimer for TBAH, if you decide to read it: It was my first fic, and I started writing it nearly ten years ago. So it's... not my best, in terms of writing style, but I do still love it and it will always have a special place in my heart. (I mean, here I am many years later still writing a sequel with those characters.)

Thank you SO much for this kind review. ♥♥♥

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