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Reading Reviews for Periphery
  
56 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Puresnape Chapter Ten

3rd September 2017:
Hello there! I am so happy to finally sit down and have a great read of your fan fiction. You are such a delightful and descriptive writer. All of the characters breathe from the page and I feel they are real people with real issues. I am so drawn between the relationship between Chloe and Sirius and I am so looking forward to a new update!!

This current chapter was brilliant. I felt like I was running away with the characters outside, trying to escape from the chaos. I really identified when Chloe begins avoiding everyone and pretends to be okay that is normal human behavior. Anyway, please keep writing and looking forward to reading more :)

Author's Response: Hello hello!

Thank you so much for leaving a review. This fic is such a labor of love and I will continue it regardless of feedback, but it's always so nice to read!

Chloe and Sirius are so fun to write together. I feel like they eschew a lot of the romantic stereotypes (which I have 100% written before) and don't fall in either the Friends to Lovers camp or the Enemies to Lovers camp. They require a lot of patience to write, and I have to remind myself that at this point in the story, they're just kids--they are going to change and grow so much, not necessarily together, and I need to take my time to let their "relationship" fully form.

One of the things I wanted to write (and it appears more in the next chapter) is how people deal with trauma. I always thought it was so interesting that MWPP, especially James and Peter, had this cavalier, devil-may-care attitude about a lot of what was happening around them. Namely being chased by Death Eaters on Sirius's motorbike; that story has always had an air of "the good old days" and classic James and Sirius causing trouble. But it really must have been awful and terrifying for it to happen--so how are these people so brave and how do they keep up their appearance of positivity and humor?

I've been writing for like 7 straight hours and am a little brain dead, so I hope this made sense ;)

Thank you! ♥


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Review #2, by BBHP Chapter Five

19th August 2017:
Absolutely she's leading a double life! How awful that her parents are so terrified of magic, and their own daughter. I can't imagine what that would do to someone. You paint a very vivid picture of Chloe's life.

Author's Response: Hi there! I can't believe how many reviews you left me, on this fic and on KC&CO. Thank you so much, what a lovely thing to read!

The issue with Chloe's parents hits close to home to me. My own parents are fairly paranoid, and agoraphobic, and I don't feel like I can communicate with them about a lot of my interests because they find them dangerous (international travel, rock climbing, backpacking, etc.) Obviously none of those things are as terrifying to a parent as fighting a war with an evil wizard, but you get the point ;)

Thank you so much! I'm working on chapter eleven right now.


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Review #3, by BBHP Chapter Four

19th August 2017:
This is incredibly well-written. When Chloe was attacked I felt like I was there, that I was feeling the same things. And now, reading the chapters following her attack, I feel the same emotions she must be feeling. I'm so interested to read more. Excellent story. Well done.

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I've been working hard to find a balance between keeping the story moving and interesting, and also accurately portraying Chloe's depression, PTSD, and choosing to lead an unassuming life after her attacks. Hopefully I've struck a balance between the quiet scenes and the action scenes.

Thanks for the feedback ♥


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Review #4, by ValWitch21 Introduction

15th August 2017:
HELLO, SARAH!

This story has been calling my name for a while now, with its pretty cover on the Archives' front page, so imagine my delight when I realised you'd written it! I've been excited to read this story ever since you first mentioned it, so expect an excess of capital letters and loud exclamations about how great your writing is in the coming days.

First off. I have a lot of questions. What's the deal with Chloe's parents? The description of her mother leaving the butter with the silverware pinched my heart -- is it Alzheimer's? (If yes, I'll cry.) I'm assuming they're both Muggles, in which case yes, I'm very excited to see the perspective of a character whose family can't know what she's up to.

More questions: Chloe's relationship with James and Lily (and Harry! Where's Harry? Does he still go to the Dursley's?). Her relationship with Marlene. Why weren't they talking? Why on god's green Earth would Sirius Crucio Marlene?? Why isn't he in Azkaban? AHH. SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Thankfully, I have nine more chapters waiting for me, wahey! Expect my fangirling self all over the place in the coming days. I'm so glad to be reading your fic again.

Which reminds me -- there's something about the pacing of this story and your character's voice that reminds me strongly of KC&CO. Please take this as the compliment it's meant to be, even though I'm comparing two vastly different stories. tldr; your writing is great all of the time and I'm already half in love with this and your main character. Hee. ♥

Author's Response: Okay, so I can't type as many characters as I want because of the limit here, but assume that this has like 87 As in it: VAAAL!!!

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review. It really brightened my day!

Agh, I loved the graphic that mockingjay at TDA made for its spot in the featured stories. I need to find a way to casually use it in everyday life because I miss it now, hehe! It's funny you say "since I mentioned this story" because I remember us actually talking about it while picnicking at the Eiffel Tower, what a fun time!

As for Chloe's mother, I struggled for a long time whether to give her Alzheimer's or crippling paranoia (or both), and it's because Alzheimer's runs in my family and it's such a painful subject--so, naturally, I have to include it in the story and make everyone sad. Yes, her mother will eventually suffer from memory loss and confusion. And yes, they are both Muggles! Hence Chloe feeling very torn between two worlds.

Eeee I love that you have so many questions! That was a huge allure in making this an AU story, because for those readers who are very familiar with canon, I didn't feel that I could do anything interesting without diverging from what JKR has written. Plus I just??? I don't really care about breaking canon in fic? I guess that makes me terrible in some readers' eyes, but for me, it's much more interesting to read a reimagining of what has already happened than a canonical retelling of what I already know.

Ya know?

That's so funny that it reminds you of KC&CO! In my head as I was first planning this, I was like, Wow nobody who liked my first story is going to want to read this because they're so different. But that's reassuring that there are at least some similarities! Hopefully people won't be too terribly thrown off, then! Chloe definitely does have a sassy remark here and there--nowhere near Edie's caliber, dear God.

Thank you so much Val! You're the greatest ♥


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Review #5, by Ralph Chapter Nine

14th August 2017:
Is Marlene a lesbian? That would make sense and explain why she make any so much effort with Chloe maybe she like she her? ANd why she keeps turning Sirius down. Just brilliant writing skills here you wrote it with such beauty I could almost imagine myself there

Author's Response: I mentioned this in my last review response, but I'll just keep you guessing for now about Marlene ;) Thank you again, it was such a treat to sign in and see all of these new reviews! ♥

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Review #6, by Ralph Chapter Eight

14th August 2017:
Agh I was right! "It's not that over i don't know" there's something fishy going on here. I love This mystery but I just wanna see Chloe get the attention she deserves soon, but I'm sure the wait will be rewarding

Author's Response: Hey! So I just had this really lengthy response typed out in which I explain exactly what's going on with Marlene in this chapter, but I decided it was too much of a spoiler :P So you'll just have to wait and see! Haha.

Ohhh, yes. The wait. The slowest slow-burn to ever have slowly burned. I hope you're ready for what you're getting yourself into.

Thank you for another review ♥


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Review #7, by ralph Chapter Seven

14th August 2017:
Oh Lily what a gem, I feel like she can sense that Sirius could like Chloe too if it weren't for all these other factors in the way. Something about his infatuation with Marlene doesn't sit right with me someone like Chloe is much more complimentary to the dark aura of Mr Black.
But Marlene is so lovely going out of her way to Be friends with Chloe you have to respect that. Can't wait to see Chloe and sirius' relationship blossom and bloom

Author's Response: Hey there!

Lily really is such a gem. There are so many characters that I want to write more about, particularly her and James, and Frank and Alice, but Marlene/Chloe/Sirius are definitely the crux of this story. There are SO many Marauders' characters that need to be ignored just for the sake of brevity and moving this story along. But they get their due attention when possible!

I like "the dark aura of Mr. Black," hehe. He's very cavalier and lets things roll off his shoulders in public, but you're right, he's got a lot of issues having dealt with a mother that doesn't love him and--oh wait, wow, could that possibly be why he's pursuing a woman who doesn't seem interested in him??? ;) (I was seriously so excited to write about his Oedipal complex, like, you have no idea.)

Marlene is indeed lovely. It was so so SO important to me that this wasn't a "girl vs girl" type of romantic issue. Marlene is, in a lot of ways, a better friend that Chloe--more nurturing, more willing to adapt to a person's needs. And in some ways she falls short. She can be pushy, which we'll see more of as the story continues.

Thank you so much! Chapter ten is in the queue! ♥


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Review #8, by Siriuslover Chapter Nine

10th August 2017:
I wonder why Sirius is looking at her like that in the end. This and those electrifying looks they've shared seem to be pointing to something that hasn't been written openly about yet. I love this sense of mystery that they both have within themselves. And I can't wait to hear the explanation for why Marlene doesn't respond to Sirius she was so close to explaining but you had to leave us hanging!! A wonderful way to fuel my interest. I absolutely loved how you created the first physical intimacy between Sirius and Chloe, by passing on the kiss Marlene almost gave his touch away to Chloe and I feel as if this is significant somehow and I can't wait to read more you truly are talented and dare I say underrated I'm slightly shocked at how good this is but the lack of reviews. I hope you get the attention you deserve soon but please do keep writing for us readers because this is so different to the usual Sirius oc story there's so much pain and angst and that means good romance to come. Please update soon!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for taking the time to review ♥

You're right, there are a lot of unspoken tensions within this group--for all of their camaraderie and authenticity, they don't talk about their feelings properly. Particularly Sirius and Marlene (and Chloe, who speaks about as frequently as a houseplant.) Mostly what you're seeing at the end of this chapter is Sirius realizing that Marlene truly might not have feelings for him. Jealousy isn't the right word; he's upset that their kiss, which was an indescribably huge event for him, was not the same for her, and that she was so indifferent as to kiss someone else, almost as a joke. She probably thinks that he is just acting the way he is because they're under the influence of hallucinogens, when really it was the first time he was given the courage to do it and probably planned it out all week and talked Remus and Sirius and Peter's ears off about how this was the night he was FINALLY going to kiss her. And it totally didn't land.

tl;dr it was two people not seeing eye-to-eye on what their kiss meant.

I love, love, LOVE what you said about the first physical intimacy between Sirius and Chloe. I honestly hadn't really thought about it like that, but you're right. Marlene has been such a conduit for them in getting to know one another, and now she is physically a conduit for their first "kiss."

Thank you so much for your review! I've just put the next chapter in the queue, so hopefully we'll see it up in the next few days.


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Review #9, by glowingcherub Chapter Four

3rd August 2017:
She's happy the plants are getting rain and she keeps the berries in a journal I love her

Author's Response: Hahaha! Honestly that passage felt so tumblr to write, I'm glad that you like her though! ♥

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Review #10, by loca Chapter Four

3rd August 2017:
This just kills me, the pouring rain, Chloe's pain. Sirius' interest the way she says "I could never be so brave". You just know these words have spoken to Sirius and made him really see her for the first time. I can imagine this scene so well the colour in her cheeks from that raw honesty. It's all so electric and deep. Poison by Brent Faiyaz is the song I'm listening to right now and it fits your words so well there's even rain in the back ground. You are a gifted writer I don't understand how you don't have more reviews. I'm blessed to have come across this today when I really needed good words to remind me of the joys of life. Can't wait to read more

Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you for leaving such a thoughtful review.

It's funny, this chapter has 100+ more reads than those before and right after it, so it seems people have come back to read the scene more than once. Pivotal moments in the Marauders' history are important to canon but I've tried not to make them the primary focus of this story, because I want to explore the things we don't already know, but this scene just had to happen. I would imagine that Sirius's attention-seeking personality, plus his trying to act casual and sarcastic about it all, is why he decided to open up to Chloe in the first place. She really just happened to be there at the right time--no doubt he would have told just about anyone as a coping mechanism. But you're right, he does really see her for the first time because of her response.

I listened to that song and you're right, it's pretty perfect for this scene! If you're looking for other tunes to listen to while reading this, I listened to a lot of Slowdive, the Moonlight OST, and Angel Olsen while writing this story!

I hope you are doing well and that this story did indeed remind you of the joys of life. Thank you so much for checking out Periphery ♥


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Review #11, by PrincessAbbey28 Introduction

22nd July 2017:
I really love this story and the banner. What's tda? I want to make one for my Next Generation story

Author's Response: The Dark Arts, HPFF's sister site for story graphics ♥

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Review #12, by GJ Chapter Nine

22nd July 2017:
So good! Can't wait for the next update... so much anticipation...

Author's Response: Thank you!! ♥

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Review #13, by museclio Chapter Nine

19th July 2017:
I love this story, the characters seems so real and I love how they interact with Chloe. Cant wait to read more!

Author's Response: Hi there! What a lovely thing to hear; tackling a story about the young Marauders is pretty daunting. Also there are so many characters and it's difficult to give everyone enough "screen time." I haven't even included Frank or Alice, or Severus Snape, to name a few, just because it's so important to explore Chloe's relationship with the Marauders and Marlene. This fic is definitely going to vary from a lot of other Marauders stories in that way, and I hope you'll continue along with me!



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Review #14, by sabdulla Chapter Eight

4th June 2017:
SO GOOD!!! Please post soon, I'm dying to see what the Marauders are up to and what they want from Chloe- and what Chloe ends up wearing to the party ;)

Author's Response: Hey there! I'm dropping a pitiful response to this review to let you know that I haven't abandoned it. The next chapter is coming along, slowly but surely, and I should have an update today or tomorrow. Thank you for reading :)

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Review #15, by Lady Asphodel Introduction

20th April 2017:
This chapter was so amazing! Just from the description alone and the way how you write it.. it's like a self-monologue but in narration - which you did incredible with its delivery. I love how you described the scene that Chloe is in. I can see it so perfectly. I think that Chapter Image helps, but still - you set the tone clearly. I love practically every description of this - from the way how you described the cold, the height of the church, the distance from how far she can see it and the people who walks toward it. Then the feeling of sadness and anxiety due to the loss of James and Lily and Marlene.

It's so sad to know that Chloe's mother is suffering what it seems to be Alzheimerís. I know personally what that is like and it's a difficult situation for anyone.

The scene where she reads Sirius' letter was definitely chilling. I like how you described what the letter looked like. Giving more to the dark tone of the story. It was short and straight to the point but definitely sad. And it's sad that she had to keep from her mother - and keeping up pretenses.


I've grown to like Marauder era stories, but I never really took the time to seek out and read it personally. But I'm glad I gotten the chance to read this. This is very interesting and I'll add this to my reading list.


Very incredible writing! Good job!

CTF (Gryffindor)


- LA

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for leaving a review. This is my first instance of including an introduction/first chapter that goes out of chronological order and I think it works well here. I really wanted people to know that this is going to be an AU story (exactly how much I diverge remains to be seen) and so little hints here and there, like Marlene dying after Lily and James, and Sirius not being in Azkaban yet, were important. I hope they served well to pull the reader in!

Ugh, yes, the Alzheimer's is not going to be fun to write about. It runs in my family and is a really difficult subject, but it just seemed like something I had to include here.

The letter from Sirius says so much about their relationship at this point. I won't give too much away, but it's curt, and harsh, and without thought as to how this kind of news would devastate Chloe. And that's all I'll say right now ;)

I'm glad I've won you over to a Marauders-era fic! I've started (and not finished) two before this, and I think it was my decision to diverge from canon that makes this story seem more doable. I hope you stick around!

Thanks so much ♥


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Review #16, by crimson quill Chapter Three

20th April 2017:
Capture the Flag,

So I'm reading out of order so I'm reviewing on this chapter but I really enjoyed myself! I haven't read any marauders stuff in ages and it felt so good reading this! I really like Chloe a lot, she's a bit shy but I felt even in this chapter she was making progress with her confidence I guess? it is developing nicely anyway!

her internal monologue is really strong like I think that it's really clear who she is as a character even if she's not quite sure as a person though. she seems she over thinks stuff a lot perhaps considering how she worries about people talking behind her back and what marlene thinks, details are what makes the characterisation so good. btw seems like her marlene are going to have a nice little friendship develop, I enjoyed that end scene!

I enjoyed your version of Sirius, I thought he came off as a bit annoying (in a good cheeky kinda way) but really quite likeable at the same time basically. it's a good balance, you've got there. I'll be good to see more of how you develop his character further.

I'm interested that she's a hufflepuff but I guess as a hufflepuff yourself you wanna represent! So this business with the slytherins she mentioned...I think maybe I'm missing something from a previous chapter but I'm interested anyway! xo

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Review #17, by krazyboutharryginny Chapter Three

20th April 2017:
CTF

I actually didn't find this chapter all that slow at all. I thought it was really well done.

The first half is so tense. I honestly was on the edge of my seat. I mean, it didn't seem like anything horrible was going to happen - it being the middle of the day in the middle of the hallway with loads and loads of people around - but Chloe was so tense and you did such an excellent job of capturing that that I was feeling it myself.

And then - Sirius. Even as he annoyed Chloe he was charming. I think you did a fantastic job there too, demonstrating his nature, or at least part of it, very well. Annoying, yet also annoyingly charming. And the sort of ease with which he conducted himself (Chloe thinking that he looked like he could've lit a cigarette in a practiced manner).

And Marlene was just wonderful! She made me feel so much better when she showed up, just like Chloe. She has so much life to her, she was almost sparkling off the page (well, screen :P). And Sirius isn't her boyfriend, hm? Interesting. Chloe was so sure about it.

I'm very glad she and Chloe are Officially friends now. Chloe definitely seems like she could use that sort of kindness in her life.

I enjoyed this chapter just as much as the first one, I'll have to come back and read this properly after CTF is over.

Great work!

-Kayla

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Review #18, by melian Chapter Two

20th April 2017:
That was really interesting!

First of all I want to talk about characterisation. I thought you did a really good job of showing peopleís personalities with only minimal description. For example, we donít see much of Emily, but I have a solid idea of what sheís like. Equally Marlene Ė and can I say I loved the description of her being pretty in a cunning sort of way. Iíve never heard that before but it makes a lot of sense. I liked too the comparison of her teeth to Emilyís. Itís small, but it felt significant.

Also, the Marauders. This was clearly set just after a full moon. I liked how you said Remus had always been sickly Ė something that would make sense to a person in that year group as he was always in and out of the hospital wing. Peterís notes always having crumbs on them was another nice touch. Iím curious about the relationship Ė or lack thereof- between Sirius and Marlene too. Clearly he wants to take it further. I wonder, with all her capabilities, if she will let him.

Iím also very intrigued by the Black Adder Society. Iíve not read many Marauder fics that have any sort of organisation other than Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix. This, though, coupled with Michael Flint having the run of the school, is pretty thought-provoking. And the black dahlia warning too Ö without any knowledge of floriogaphy it made me think of a spy novel I read yonks ago that talked about a person called the Black Dahlia. If it means a warning, that makes perfect sense. So thanks for htat!

All in all a most interesting chapter. Well done!

Cheers Mel

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Review #19, by krazyboutharryginny Introduction

14th April 2017:
Hi, jailbreaking for CTF.

Full disclosure: Sirius/OC stories are something I usually avoid. But I was honestly roped into this by the end of the first paragraph. Your writing is amazing! The scene laid out in that first paragraph is so vivid and the way you described it was so poetic.

And I just got more and more interested as I read on. You did a really fantastic job of giving us enough details to give us an idea of what Chloe's life is like and what's going on around her, while leaving out enough stuff that we were left curious and wanting to know more.

For example, it's fairly clear quite early on that Chloe's mum is suffering from memory loss, Alzheimers or something - but then we're actually introduced to her and we get this additional element that she seems to be very uncomfortable with Chloe's magicial abilities, opening up all sorts of questions about Chloe's background and family life. I thought that was really well done.

The scene where Chloe cracked the egg in the pan and the sound made her think about James and Lily was also very well done; super visceral. And then I liked (well, liked is a strange word here, but) the scene where Chloe found out about Marlene's death, and the difference between her feelings there and her feelings about James and Lily. I think you did a great job describing her shock and grief.

And then that last sentence! What?! What a great cliffhanger. Ugh, I honestly want to read more now but I have to keep jailbreaking for CTF XD Maybe I'll be back sometime!

Great work!

-Kayla

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Review #20, by nott theodore Introduction

14th April 2017:
CTF Review

Hi Sarah! I have to admit that I've had my eye on this story for a while and I'm really excited to get the chance to read and review it. I think I've only actually read your Keep Calm and Carry On before now, so a Marauders AU is a bit different to that, but I'm looking forward to seeing where you take it!

(I have to admit that I don't read a lot of AU stories but I'm glad you said this one is AU because I was questioning the time line of events slightly before that haha.)

I really like Chloe so far! It's really interesting to see a character in such a normal and non-magical setting, and then have that contrast against the war that she's living through. Her mum is clearly so wary of magic and doesn't seem to want anything to do with it - I'm looking forward to finding out whether or not that's always been the case or it's something more recent. I like the fact Chloe is so protective of them, too.

And Marlene:( I know the time line is different here but it's sad to see she still dies in this story, especially when she's Chloe's best friend. I like the way you introduced that Chloe was part of the Order here though, and that Lily and James are dead. I'm so intrigued to see how the rest of the novel plays out and which events are different, as well as how Chloe fits in with them all!

Sian :)

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Review #21, by melian Introduction

11th April 2017:
Iím glad you put that explanation in the postscript about it being AU, because my canon nerd was itching all the way through this. Marlene dying after Lily and James; Sirius not being in Azkaban in December 1981 Ö But itís AU, so Iíll forgive you.

Having said that, Iím strictly a canon girl, so any foray into AU feels slightly weird to me. So bear with me if I miss things or have trouble with anything.

This is an interesting look at the life of an Order member after the fall of Voldemort. Thereís a bit of PTSD in there, isnít there? The not eating, hiding away, not wanting to talk to anyone. I assume Chloe is a Muggle-born, from the discussion about the sheep fence Ö so thatís something else she needs to deal with Ė parents and friends who donít understand her world and what sheís been going through, so that sense of isolation would be tenfold. Geez. Poor thing. It sounds like she was living in Godricís Hollow, or frequented it, prior to October 1981, so she canít even go home there because itís been blown up. Too many memories. Too much trauma. I donít blame her for not going back.

There were some really nice details in here too. The number of lies she told her mother. The detail of the heating spell that sheíd only put on herself, not the whole house. The yearning to use magic in a Muggle house. It was all done really well.

And Ö that ending! I donít think I need to say more. All I can add is that I hope thereís an explanation, one that would make sense of someone like Sirius using an Unforgivable on Marlene McKinnon.

Geez. Iím still in shock.

Well done.

Cheers Mel

Author's Response: Hahaha, I'm sure as someone who followed canon so wonderfully in their own story, this fic might be unnerving for you! Personally I'd rather use fanfiction to explore what could have happened than adhering to the rules. Thank you for taking the time to read, though.

You're totally right about the PTSD. We hear so much about the Order and how they were heroes, but they were like any other soldiers battling, and dealt with seeing their friends die and--in many cases--having to kill others. JKR set the story up pretty nicely for being the "good guys" and the "bad guys," but it's rarely so black and white in real life. Chloe is a member of the Order who also doesn't want to be involved in the war, but unfortunately allowed herself to be goaded into it by a friend she admired, and is now alienated in both worlds.

Hehehe, the ending is pretty awful, but I am getting such a kick out of seeing everyone's reactions. Now we only have to wait 15+ chapters before finding out, wow!

Thanks again ♥


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Review #22, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Introduction

11th April 2017:
OMG! You have a new story! I can't believe it! I'm late in the game! I'm so excited like you have no idea! Yay!

You're already killing me.

"I at last found the butter in with the silverware"

So sad! I don't even know who I'm getting attached to just yet but I already want to squish them. Not sure because this is the magical world what her mother would have but dementia and Alzheimer's runs in my family. To see the person you love with half their mind unable to remember you or anything is completely heartbreaking. It's earth shattering. I don't even like to read about it. It gets me emotional.

Uh!

I am home with your writing.

God, you just make everything so real. Your descriptions just capture me. I got lost for a second in this dark world.

My heart lurched when she found out about Marlene but then I was also worried because I wasn't sure if her mother really did know or not. I'm intrigued by that relationship. Why all the lies? I'm assuming the father isn't magical? Or something happened to her mother that they're no longer part of that world?

I'm so down with the AU by the way.

To even get a letter from Sirius makes my heart sing.

But I'm not sure if should. So she trusts Sirius and I'm assuming he's not in Azkaban then? For their deaths? Oh so many questions and I need answers!

And she saw Lily and James dead?

That would give me nightmares for the rest my life. I wouldn't be able to live. It's obvious she's barely holding on though.

Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Hello!!! So excited that you've come back to check out another brainchild of mine, for better or worse ♥

"I don't even know who I'm getting attached to yet but I want to squish them," lmao, I love this. I definitely was trying to lay down some subtle anxiety and helplessness for the reader so I'm glad I totally TRAPPED YOU. And yes, on a more serious note, Dementia and Alzheimer's runs in my family too, and so I feel that this story is going to be difficult to write, but I feel that it needs to be done. But omg please don't feel like you have to read this fic if it's going to be traumatic for you in any way (though I would obviously love you to, just know that it'll be present!)

You're pretty spot on about her parents being Muggles--at this point it doesn't spoil anything so I feel I can say that? Chloe is trapped in-between two worlds, at this point in the fic, which we will work up to again as the story continues. She's alienated by her parents who are terrified of the Magical world and its war, and at the same time she doesn't entirely believe in fighting and feels like an outsider of the Order.

Yes yes yes AU! I haven't worked up the desire to write a next-gen fic, and I already did a post-Hogwarts, so it seems I'm out of time periods unless they're AU (I'm not a huge Founders' era fan.) And I've said this in other reviews, but everyone knows so much about the Marauders--whether canon or headcanon from popular fic or discourse--and honestly being canon isn't that important to me? I guess that's where I differ from a lot of other writers. Like I was researching whether or not one could Apparate from Hogsmeade, and found myself thinking, "I don't really care if you can or not, because it works for this story." I guess my thoughts are that it's fanfiction, and you should have fun with it, whether that means strictly adhering to canon or making it up as you go!

Honestly, I was about to say, "No, Chloe didn't see Lily and James dead," but now you got the cogs a-turnin', and I want to rework everything I imagined for that scene. So thank you, haha! It's funny, you reviewers are honestly where I get a lot of my inspiration because you're creating all of these lovely conversations and thought processes. Seriously, thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review.

Hope you're doing well!



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Review #23, by Lily Chapter Six

7th April 2017:
Oh Sirius you are such a brat, lol. Can't wait to read more :)

Author's Response: Hehehe, yes, he is. Honestly I think Chloe's annoyance is exactly how I would react had I met Sirius; he's so arrogant and a drama queen and a bully (though this fic isn't exactly exploring the bullying Severus route, is it?) But he'll grow up soon. Maybe.



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Review #24, by whitelillies Chapter Six

2nd April 2017:
Hello!

Oooh the tension. Wow. I don't know how you do it but it's like it's physically palpable for the reader. Well done!

Anyways, I'm really excited to see where this is headed. I LOVE Sirius/OC fanfics but often find myself left disappointed since they're usually unrealistic or cliche, and I think writers find it difficult to really pinpoint what Sirius was like as a teenager, too. However, I think you've done an excellent job here of both well-characterising him and generally keeping the story grounded.

I really like Chloe, too. I think she's a complex and interesting character, and I like how she's drawn to Sirius for an inexplicable reason, without even really knowing him. It could be that she's idealizing him, or has this idea about him in her head, but I think it's something else. I think she's just drawn to him for no good reason. And I think that's usually how it goes in life, in fact: you initially feel attracted or connected to someone without knowing why, and then you discover more about the person. On a different note, it's interesting how Chloe has quite a dichotomous personality. It's like there are these two parts to her: one that's reclusive by nature and also because of what happened to her, and another that's sick of being so alone all the time, and that sees the Marauders and their friends as a kind of possibility of what could be if she just let herself open up. So I'm excited to see how she develops as a character, too!

Finally, your writing is amazing. It's got that perfect combination of matter of fact and unusual that makes it very unique. I'm also usually not even interested in reading AUs but this story has got me hooked! It's different from Keep Calm and Carry On but in a good good good way.

Hopefully you can update soon! This story is really something else!

Sofia xxx

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for leaving a review ♥

As for how I created the ~simmering tension~, I listened to a lot of the Moonlight soundtrack and Angel Olsen, hehe. My secret recipe for angsty, breathless encounters. I do agree with you, though; Sirius is difficult to pinpoint as a teenager, and I feel like even my fic is just one of the many routes that could be taken with his character. Here, he's more sullen and less of an outright showboat than I could also argue for. But like I said, this fic is a behemoth of angst and I think the other, aforementioned traits would better suit a coming of age or humor fic.

I'm glad to hear that Chloe is generally well-received. I was nervous about verging on the "wounded bird/damsel in distress" character, between her timidity and the fact that she was so injured and shaken up in the moment she met Sirius and Marlene. But hopefully by now her other traits are coming around, and will only continue to do so as she ages. (I am seriously so excited to write twenty-something Chloe, like you have no idea.)

And you're right that she's attracted to Sirius for an inexplicable reason. Obviously he's physically attractive, but they're very different, at least at this point as teenagers. They both have strong senses of duty and responsibility, but they're manifested in different areas: Chloe in her academia and career goals, and Sirius in his desire to be a hero and fight in the war against Voldemort.

Oh gosh, this review is making me blush, seriously. I love that you said my writing is "matter of fact and unusual" because I was trying to tone down the purple prose that haunts a lot of my older writing, while still keeping a distinct Chloe narrative. And I know, a Marauders AU is so dangerous, haha! Honestly the story has been told in fic so many times--and often times very well--that I was just much more interested in how it could have gone differently, and whether their endings would be the same, had another character been introduced.

And yes, very very different from KC&CO! It's weird that I made such a big jump in tone and overall narrative but *HPFF wont let me shrug emoji so just imagine it*

Thank you again so much! ♥


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Review #25, by Lily Chapter Five

1st April 2017:
Loved reading, looking forward to more. It's quite funny how unlikeable Sirius is, I really like the school era parts

Author's Response: Hello Lily (Evans?), thank you for reading! I love that people are finding Sirius unlikeable; I believe he could be quite the brat in his Hogwarts days and wanted to explore that. Don't worry, he will become the Sirius we all know and love, eventually :)



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