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Reading Reviews for The Ouroboros
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SilverMoonFairy Prologue: Solace in the Dark

17th August 2016:
Hey, Liz here for BvB! *salute*

So... Is this a sequel to another story you have, because I feel like I am missing some key plot points here...?

But aside from that, a lovely start for a prologue (and I may have squee'd a bit at the chapter summary quote from FF ^_^). The opening was intriguing, really grabbing and making me want to find out how Draco managed to get himself into trouble. The rest was very informative- even if there isn't a story preceding this, I feel like I won't be too lost following Lexi.

The interaction with her and Draco is rather adorable and very playful and not a side of Malfoy that is normally written about, so it's quite a treat to see! I want to know more about this power that Lexi has and I want to know what happened to her magic?

The only criticism I could offer is that some of your sentences are long winded. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but in terms of more action like scenes, such as the opening, it helps the pace of the story to have shorter, choppier sentences, if that makes sense?

I also have a couple technicals- these are just little mistakes I notice while reading.

his wand tightly and felt his arm being pushed it back,
Feels like you were trying to write two different sentences and then they just did a fusion dance here...

She, too, is currently working for the Ministry where
Is should be Was

And that's it! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!
-Liz

Author's Response: Hi there, Liz! *salutes back* (this should totally be a 'Claw thing lol)

First, thank you for leaving a wonderful R&R with constructive criticism. I truly appreciate it. It's been quiet 'round this area. Being the masochist that I am, I love any sort of input I can get to get my writing back in shape.

To answer your questions: Yes, "The Ouroboros" is a sequel to a story I have titled "Protector of Mankind," or PoM for short. It's quite long (61 chapters), so feel free to read it when you have a LOT of down time xD PoM took 11 years to finish (I took a 5 year hiatus because of a massive writers' block). The last two chapters explain what's happened to Lexi's magic if you don't want to read from the beginning xD

Ah, Draco and Lexi's interaction. I'm quite proud of their relationship, actually. Most of the ones I've read with Draco in a relationship consists of him being either super possessive, super touchy-feely and/or super-douchey. I wanted to steer away from that.

Alas, I have fallen victim to the comma shaker to make the sentence as such. And I swear, wording tenses will be the death of me =_=; Thanks for pointing that out. I'll re-read and fix that nuisance.


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Review #2, by Katie Just Paint A Red Bullís-Eye On My Back Then

16th August 2016:
I'm liking it! Seems like harry and Ron would be a little more on draco's side after all they went thru together during the war, maybe I'm just a more forgiving person haha. Keep up the good work! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: What can I say? Old habits die hard for the Gryffindor duo. Thank you for the R&R! Always appreciate the support ^_^ b

The next chapter should be up next week. Just need to go through a longer editing process this time around.


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