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Reading Reviews for Crush
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dreamgazer220 Crush

27th May 2016:
Gabbie, I knew before I even read this that I was going to need tissues. And you know what? I forgot the box.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!

(Also, hello, here for your requested review!)

I think I love the way you write the Weasley twins even more than the way you write Draco Malfoy - which is saying something. You have great characterization here for everyone, but what really stands out is the relationship between Fred and George. I'm so glad that you make them different, you give them personalities and things to fight over. And your characterizations also make sense, too. Fred is jaded and George seems a little sweeter, but when it comes out, Fred doesn't want to be seen as a toy. That was such a powerful line and I really liked it.

I also loved your hook. Opening with the letter was a great way to pique curiosity, and you did a great job of building up the anticipation throughout the piece. I really liked that you bring us to Alicia as she's defending (IS THAT A YOUNG ASTORIA GREENGRASS? XD) someone from Malfoy and his cronies. She's tough and independent, but when you get to the broom closet, she's just like everyone else. Insecure, jealous, a little impulsive maybe.

You've created such a great group dynamic between everyone here too. I love all of the relationships that you've weaved- Angelina and George, Katie and Oliver, Lee and Alicia...

AND YOU BROKE MY HEART SO GOOD IN THE CLOSET, GABBIE. Ahem. Fred was so adorable, and that feeling of getting crushed is the worst. But what got me was the little lines in Fred's head as Alicia kept talking about Lee, and she was hurting too, and there was just so much heartache in such a small space.

Great job with this piece, and good luck with the challenge! Thanks for the request.

♥Jill

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Review #2, by IchigoPan Crush

25th May 2016:
Augh. I thought my heart was ready, but it wasn't! (For some reason, the little voice in my head sounded like LSP saying that).

Funny enough, I've always pictured Fred as the super friendly, flighty/flirty type and George being the mopey/pining type when it came to girls.

The buildup and anticipation in finding out the origin of the note was very well done. And seeing his teenage relationship with his twin in an almost argument was also very refreshing since most fics (and even in the HPverse) seem to depict them almost always get along with no brotherly conflict.

We've all had those moments where we took a second look at a friend, thinking, "He/She wouldn't be bad for me in a romantic sense." Then, splash. Cold, hard reality dumps on you like a bucket of ice water. Well, in this case, cleaning potions from the broom closet. As I read on, I really felt Fred's heartache and heard everything shatter like a glass when Alicia confessed about the note.

Great job considering this was your first Fred fic. Looking forward to reading your future stories!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by and being a generally awesome human being. :D

I don't think most people really see Fred as being the sort of person who gets sad very often. It was fun playing around with this though because I don't think we ever get much of that in HP books.

Well, my headcanon for the twins is exactly like what you said. Haha.

George is usually the mopier of the two and he's a bit more immature. He pines after Angie solely but he probably would be the sort to be very dramatic when it came to girls. Hahaha.

Fred I think is really flighty, like you said but he's also a tad jaded. He doesn't have much hope when it comes to getting very attached to people.

I wanted to make this story seem like it was going to end on a good note. It's written for an Angst Challenge but at the same time, the best thing is leading up to the pain. Haha.

I'm awful. Hahah.

Anyway, I've written Fred/George arguing before and I think it's realistic. I'm sure that they didn't get along all the time, can you imagine being with someone who looks/sounds/lives with you every single day? I'm sure there's bound to be some tension.

I think what's so painful is that this is something we all have been through. You look at a friend and wonder what it would be like to BE with them, only to have your heart crushed.

I am glad that Fred's heartache came across well too. I was really worried about it.

Thank you a ton for this lovely review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #3, by alicia and anne Crush

23rd May 2016:
Oooh your first Fred one shot? I'm excited! :D

I wonder who is leaving him love notes? :D

Awww George's crush is adorable, he needs to ask her out before this Herbology guy does if he wants to be with her.

Hahaha I love that Katie would marry Angelina and ALicia but wouldn't marry Lee :D That made me chuckle, poor guy!

I think it might be Alicia that's the admirer, or Hermione!... although why would she write in a book? Wait it was a textbook wasn't it?

Mm I don't make a good detective.

Go Alicia saving that girl, and apparently adopting her from the way that she wouldn't let her go haha :D I wouldn't mess with Alicia, she's scary

Oh no! It was meant for Lee :( Poor Fred must be so crushed! :(

Well that ending broke my heart :( I wanted Fred to get the girl!

Why must you break my heart in this way? I'm in a glass case of emotion!

Even though my heart is smashed to pieces, much like Freds, I really enjoyed this, and I would love to see you write more from him again. :D

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Review #4, by TreacleTart Crush

23rd May 2016:
Hey Gabbie!

Back for another of our swaps! This is number 4/5!

I love Fred so much! He's one of my favorite characters, so I knew I had to come see what you did with him, particularly when I saw that it was angst. He's almost always written in humorous stuff, so it was a nice change of pace to see something more serious.

The one thing that stood out to me right away is how different you've made Fred and George from each other. I absolutely love that. Too many people write them as carbon copies of each other and sort of forget that they are their own individual people. It's nice that you focused on building them into separate characters. The differences are so fitting too. I love the George is shy and hopelessly in love with Angelina while Fred is more forward and a bit jaded about people's motivations. Those were some really nice touches.

I thought it was really sweet that this letter inspired some feelings in Fred. It's cute to see him stumbling over himself as he tries to approach Angelina. That feeling that he's found someone who doesn't just see him as a cool kid or a commodity is so sweet.

It's a pretty big let down when she confesses that the letter was actually meant for Lee. I mean don't get me wrong, I love Lee and I'm stoked for a Lee/Alicia ship, but I'm just really bummed for Fred. He was so hopeful and you built up the romance in the closet so well that I almost forgot this was for the How Angst Are You Challenge. Way to shatter my hopes.

Anyway, I thought this was a really nice piece. I enjoyed having a chance to read about Fred and I hope you'll consider writing about him again!

~Kaitlin

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Review #5, by EnigmaticEyes16 Crush

22nd May 2016:
Hi Gabbie! I saw your status and thought I'd come check this out, as I always have a soft spot for the twins! This story starts off so cute! I think it's interesting that your Fred is so closed off from having feelings for other people. And the conversation with George where he accuses him of treating girls like toys, when in fact Fred is the one who wishes they wouldn't treat him like a toy. It's very intriguing, I'd like to see where this feeling is coming from. Did someone perhaps ever treat him like a toy?

Although, it was so sweet seeing him have a little hope at the love letter. And actually develop feelings for someone. I wanted so badly for the letter to be for him, but sadly it was not meant to be. And poor George, following around Angelina because he's in love with her but unable to tell her so even though she clearly loves him back. That must terrible every day to be so close to something you want without being able to have it. But of course, they do eventually get together because we do see them in the A Force of Wills timeline.

And speaking of A Force of Wills, I loved the little insert with Astoria. I thought it was so cool of Alicia to help out the young Slytherin girl after seeing Malfoy and his friends bully her numerous times. I really need to get back to that story when I get a chance.

This group of Gryffindors is so interesting though! Katie loves Oliver and is best friends with Lee. Angelina and George are always together but haven't gotten together yet. And Alicia is in love with Lee but he doesn't notice her. Fred wasn't in love with anyone until he got a little bit of hope. I wonder who Lee is interested though, if he's interested in anyone. Hmm...

I really enjoyed this one-shot! Although I did notice a couple inconsistencies: one, in the beginning and later on you mention the note was found in Potions textbook, but inbetween that, you mention Fred found it in a Transfiguration notebook. And then when they are hiding in the closet together, you repeat the same sentence twice "He was starting to get nervous."

Also, the closet scene! That was so cute between them. Again, I really wanted Alicia to want him back and I feel very sad now knowing that she didn't. I thought it was sweet though that he asked her to come to him if she ever changed her mind about Lee. Of course, it's not always that easy, and she may never see him that way, but I thought it was a very bittersweet note to end on.

Anyway, wonderful story! Hopefully I will be able to be back soon and read and review some other things!

xxNix

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