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Reading Reviews for Distractions
  
1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ImaRavenclaw The First-Post

20th May 2016:
Hello you amazing new member, lots of love and welcomes for you!

Okay, so I'm going to start with the constructive criticism so that I can spend the rest of the time saying good things!

Okay, first off, your story was painfully hard to read. Not because of the content, but those ginormous spaces in between paragraphs and dialogue. I thought my eyes were going to fall out *laughs*.

Next, the characters are a little unclear, try explaining them a bit, give them what they need to move forward and get a reader invested in them.

Lastly, some of your grammar was incorrect (don't worry, happens to literally everyone, even people who have been writing for years!)

Now, for the goods.

I really like your O/C Mel, I think she'll be really cool. I also like how you gave life to Wizards in the US, and made it so you have no idea which school she'll choose. That joke about Kingsley was really funny, and I think this will end up being a great story that's filled with humour.

Good job! This is a great first story and I hope you keep writing!

Yours sincerely, ImaRavenclaw.

Author's Response: Hi ImaRavenclaw,
Thanks for the review! I know that it is a little rough at the moment, and even though I tried, I couldn't get rid of the spaces. I'm working on fixing it up and finishing the story, I just thought that I could start it, maybe give everyone a taste of potential.

Isabelle

P.S. I'm a Slytherin
P.S.S thanks again
P.S.S.S say that,you sound like a mother fucking snake
P.S.S.S.S sorry, language.


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