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Reading Reviews for Tell Me Who You Are
  
27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dirigible_Plums Phase Five: Tell Me Who You Are

31st March 2017:
I just saw your review responses and realised that I left things quite abruptly lol. I guess it's because I was so sucked into the story that I forgot to share my thoughts.

Basically: I am shook.

Like

This was a wild rollercoaster ride from start to finish. Part of me is still iffy about what Dom did (because, you know, he has certain rights) but I'm happy that it ends on a hopeful note. Despite their shortcomings, Dom and Mark are really cute together.

Plums xo

Author's Response: Yes, but let's be realistic, Obliviators are obliviating muggles all the time and she is licensed. The moral dilemma here was just that- she is sworn to uphold the Statute of Secrecy and logically (see, that 'Claw word there?) she can't rightly trust a shocked and overwhelmed muggle to keep her secrets after they break up. (And if she did and that back fired, she would get into A LOT of trouble.)

But I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

-Liz


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Review #2, by lovegood27 Phase Five: Tell Me Who You Are

20th March 2017:
I CAN'T BELIEVE DOM WIPED HER MEMORY! JUST WHEN MARK REMEMBERED! THEY HAVE TO GET BACK TOGETHER!

So...yes, I read the whole story. And I thought it was absolutely amazing. I loved the message about love you were telling here. (I just realised how repetitive the word love sounds in that sentence)

Omg, I'm so glad Mark remembered; it really shows how powerful love can be. I found it interesting how you kind of switched their roles, so that he ended up being the one with all the memories for once, and not Dom. It WOULD be a bit dull if the whole thing just repeated itself.

I just hope that things will work out for them. Mark's words at the end; they truly were beautiful, just like Dom said. The way you've written their relationship is wonderful; I can tell they really love each other and I just want them both to be HAPPY. I REALLY want them to get together again, like seriously, if they don't...I don't know. I just hope they do ;)

I appreciate the ending line for this story. It seems fitting, especially given the title, but feels natural at the same time. I really liked those occasions you slipped the line "tell me who you are" in this story. It doesn't get too repetitive but provides a nice connection with the story and characters with the title.

I really enjoyed reading this- good luck with the Nargles :D

Author's Response: Hmm, well, if you like, there IS a sequel. There's only one chapter and it's on HPFT and AO3, but it will be a series of one shots following Dom and Mark. Just little snapshots of their lives, but... Rose practically harassed me for one (not really, but XD) so I gave in and started. I have it all plotted, I just need to get it written.

I'm glad you ENJOYED the story, though! And yes! I like circling back around with my quotes like that! I'm glad you picked up on that!

-Liz


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Review #3, by lovegood27 Phase One: Bring Boyfriend to Dinner

20th March 2017:
Hi, I'm here for Nargles BvB :)

Omg, what just happened? Was Mark scared off because Dom said "we're part creature"? (Never be ashamed of who you are, Dom) And I was planning to just read one chapter so I could get some sleep tonight... ;)

So somehow, I'm already very emotionally attached to Dom, AND I DO NOT WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN BETWEEN HER AND MARK BECAUSE THEY NEED TO STAY TOGETHER. It's only been a chapter but you managed to still fit in details about their relationship with each other, without making it seemed too crammed, which I liked.

I liked your portrayal of Dominique. I know she was pretty tense and worried in this chapter, and I can't say I really blame her, but I still felt like I got a good sense of what her character was like. And I found the sibling interaction really cute :)

Agh, I loved the scene where Dom dumps wine on Mark! She could have been a bit more subtle...but I don't think that's really her strong point is it? It just made laugh hard, especially the bit when she says "go, go, shoo!"

I'm just a little uncertain about one thing. If Dom could pick out the word "Muggle" from her Mum's French, how could Victoire not? She could be not as fluent as Dom, but wouldn't it make more sense if she could still make out a few words? Just wondering :)

But all in all, I really enjoyed reading this. It kept me interested the whole way through and the way you wrote your characters made them feel very alive. Looking forward to reading the next chapter! Good luck with the Nargles :D

Author's Response: Hello! Let's see how many review replies I can fit in today!

LOTS OG THINGS JUST HAPPENED, PLEASE BE SPECIFIC. I apologize about your plans to get sleep, but that was like a month ago, I'm sure you've caught up! (Although, CTF IS going on atm... So perhaps not.)

Subtly and Dominique are like... Oil. And Water. And a lit match. They definitely don't work out very well...

It's not that Vic isn't fluent in French, it's that they were talking about clothes. Lots of wizards wear muggle clothes, especially muggleborn ones, so, just because her mother didn't know what they were talking about didn't mean that she didn't, if that makes sense? And they weren't calling Mark a muggle, Bill was explaining that Bermuda shorts were a type of muggle clothing. I hope that answers your question alright?

I'm glad you like them so much! They're growing on me, too!

-Liz


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Review #4, by Flower n Prongs Phase Five: Tell Me Who You Are

5th March 2017:
Well, this was a rollercoaster of a story. You're all happy for them, you think they're going to break up, "she used magic on him!?", they DO break up... you really got all the emotions out and got a TON crammed into a 10,000 word story. Truly impressive.



I love Mark's mother, but only because she isn't my mother or mother-in-law. "RICHARD! Richard, he's getting married! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SO MANY GRANDCHILDREN! RICHARD!" I mean, that's just comedy gold right there. And pretty much what you hear after being with your spouse for a long time and/or marrying. But it's must better to read it happening to fictional characters than hearing about how there are no grandkids yet in your family.



I had so much hope that they were going to get there in time and that Dominique would still be able to remember everything when her siblings brought Mark to her. I was really hoping for the happy ending here, where he could finally give her that ring and things would work out. To have him recalling important parts of their relationship(s) while she didn't recognize him just put everything on his head. I'm glad that you added in the end bit, because it made me much happier. Leaving it with the possibility of something developing once more and them piecing everything together... well, together is adorable.



I can't believe I just powered through this all in one sitting. Great job and good luck with the Nargles. :)

Author's Response: In my head, Mark's mother has the voice of Mrs. Potato Head from Toy Story 2 and 3. And if it makes you feel any better, my mother-in-law calls at least once a week to ask if I'm pregnant. (Yay family!)

I salute your powering through and I'm glad you liked my hopeful ending. I don't really believe in happy ones. Sometimes they happen and sometimes they don't, so my stories don't really follow an ending pattern. Some end happy, some end abruptly. This one has hope. :)

Thanks for reading.

-Liz


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Review #5, by Flower n Prongs Phase Four: Remember Strawberry

5th March 2017:
The confusion was heartbreaking at times when he just knew something was wrong but couldn't figure out what. The way he was asking his mother what she knew, trying to get information out of his best friend, and even looking at every strawberry blonde woman who could possibly be mistaken for Dominique Weasley was so heartwrenching. But in contrast, the dream about a strawberry wearing his clothing was hilarious. The firm association his brain has made between Dom and strawberries that cannot be broken, even with her skills, is clearly very strong.



I felt for poor Mark so much in this. Dominique is clearly struggling as well, but she at least has a full recollection of what happened. He has none of this.



I wonder what exactly her siblings have agreed to do. I imagine that it has to be getting them back together somehow, but I have no idea. They all sound like very capable witches and wizards, but when magic is part of your problem it can be hard to magic it all away.



The ending! He does have some solid memories of her tied to the ring. Now they just HAVE to meet again and see what he remembers this time. Anything else would be too heartbreaking. (Why yes, I am now very invested in this.)



Off to the last chapter!

Author's Response: I figured that every time Dom had to wipe is memories, he didn't actually want to forget her and his brain held on to the one thing he knew- Strawberries. The human mind is a mysterious and wonderful thing. Even people who suffer from amnesia can sometimes make a full recovery. Just because the amnesia is caused by magic doesn't make a difference.

(You don't actually want to know what Vic and Louie agreed to. But by now you DO know, so... Eh.)

(I'm glad you're invested!)

-Liz


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Review #6, by Flower n Prongs Phase Three: Burn It Down

5th March 2017:
I was NOT expecting the plot twist at the start of this. That made my eyebrows shoot up and stare at what I just read for a moment, seeing if it really said what I thought it said. After the cliffhanger ending to the last chapter, I thought about it a bit and figured that she would probably admit to using some sort of magic. I was thinking something more along the lines of a Pepper Up potion rather than obliviating his mind not once but THREE times. I don't blame him for not being able to take it in, I can hardly take it in and I know it's all fictional!

Somehow the stories about how they had "met" all those times were sweet, even knowing that they would all end in her meddling with his brain to make him forget her and everything they had gone through together. When Dominique voiced her belief that it was like fate was stepping in to push them together I kind of had to agree with her, and I don't even believe in that stuff. It just seems like they are surely supposed to be together and that something bigger will make them cross each others' paths until they finally get it right.

The ending made my heart catch. He had something he wanted to tell her before she obliviated him. What was so important!? Why did she have to be so fast at the spell casting!? Will she (*cough* me *cough*) ever figure out what it was!?

You have definitely nailed down the art of getting people to read the next chapter.

Author's Response: I WASN'T EITHER! This story was supposed to be a one-shot. And then Mark had to go and ask that STUPID QUESTION and I end up with a short story. (And an impending sequel.) But he asked the question and with the question came a WHOLE NEW PLOT and it has made many people very shouty since it's inception. I'm rather proud of that, actually.

-Liz


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Review #7, by Flower n Prongs Phase Two: Tell Him You're a Witch

5th March 2017:
After the dramatic ending of the last chapter, I was a bit worried for poor Dominique that her family may have mucked it all up. I'm glad that he went back to finish the dinner with them and to try to get to know them all. That is certainly the adult, mature reaction. And if he was planning on asking them for their blessing to marry Dominique, she should be very grateful for that.

The interaction between them back at her flat was so sweet. LOL to "robes for all occasions" being bathrobes and the like. All in all I will say he handled it pretty well. The veela thing does seem kind of weird when you look at it objectively, so I'm glad he didn't freak out and instead made a joke about her not growing wings when angry. The way you wrote it made it easy to see that he has the potential to be a considerate, reasonable husband in the future.

"Well... Have you ever, you know... Used magic... On me?" - now that's a cliffhanger for the next chapter! A great way to pull readers along with the story.

The translations at the bottom made me glad that I haven't lost all of my very basic French from school.

Author's Response: I had a very clear image of Mark in my head when I started this. He was open-minded, even-tempered, and above all, calm. Something to balance Dom's scatter brained, panicky franticness. Someone who is seriously considering marriage to the point of asking the opposing party's parents permission to ask is someone I think who doesn't run at the first sign of trouble.

XD Bathrobes! It was all I could come up with at the time and it made me giggle. It was so much fun to try and visualize a muggle (like myself) trying to take in all this information and how it would sound and how it would come across. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I secretly love cliffhangers. Writing them. Not so much reading them. (Unless the next chapter is already posted, of course.)

-Liz


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Review #8, by Flower n Prongs Phase One: Bring Boyfriend to Dinner

5th March 2017:
Hello! I'm here because of the Nargles.

Let's jump right in - with the number of characters from both canon and fan fiction who have one Muggle parent and one magical parent, you would think you would read about the development of such a relationship among characters in the story. And yet, somehow, it never comes up. It wasn't until I heard about your story that I even realized that there was this big of a gap, but now it seems so obvious that I can't believe I didn't see it before. So for both sparking the realization and for tackling a very under-used but semi-common occurrence I would like to offer you kudos.

I'm not the most into Next Gen fics, but I've read enough to see that there are a lot of tropes and semi-cliches among them. From what I've seen Dominique just doesn't get as much attention or the consensus of others, so it is nice to see you tackling her. From the beginning when she is nervously getting ready, I was able to sympathize with her feelings. Her brushing everything away (even pantsuits, which are sad after the last election) and trying to balance not telling her family something about her new boyfriend and vice versa made her very relateable.

I love that she wanted lots of wine and was not afraid to say so in front of people. If only her siblings could have gotten the hint and been a bit more subtle for her.

This chapter did not end as I expected. I'm looking forward to reading on and seeing how everybody reacts once things are out in the open.

Author's Response: It's only been a month and a week since you left this review and I'm finally responding, so I'm calling that a WIN since my last response to a review was like a 3 month gap.

I will preface this reply by telling you that 1) telling the muggle boyfriend was my challenge prompt and 2) before being assigned Dominique as a random character to use, I had never read or written Next Gen and was very much against the idea (and had no friggin' clue who she was). The basic idea at hand, though, is an old one: Girl likes Boy, Girl has secrets kept from Boy, Girl tries to break the ice without losing Boy. So while I appreciate the kudos, if it weren't for LostMuse and the whim to join a challenge, this story wouldn't exist. (And I probably still wouldn't write or read Next Gen.)

Well, of course she wants wine! (LOTS OF WINE.) Sometimes it really does take some alcohol to calm your nerves. I believe that a stressed out Dominique is a very big believer in that! (And really, you can't blame Vic and Louie. Dom should have warned SOMEBODY before dinner started. But she comes up with a good plan and executes rather than working out the kinks first, which is what I love about her, actually.)

I see the rest of your reviews up there! I hope you liked it!

-Liz


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Review #9, by Dirigible_Plums Phase Three: Burn It Down

29th January 2017:
WHAT

NO

OH MY GOSH, THIS IS MESSED UP BUT WHAT

Author's Response: This is what I'm talking about. Not sure what to do here... I'm sorry?

-Liz


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Review #10, by Dirigible_Plums Phase One: Bring Boyfriend to Dinner

29th January 2017:
Hello, it's me again with another reward :)

I have a weakness for Next Gen so when I saw this fic, I knew immediately that this was the fic to read, especially because it has such an interesting premise! I can count the number of fics I've read with the MC's love interest as a Muggle on one hand, never mind one that's from the POV from the magical person themselves. Add that to the fact that I don't read many Dominique fics either = curiosity is through the roof.

I do have some vague headcanons about Dom, of course, mostly that she's the rebel child. You've done something similar but in a much more understated way. She's not so much rebelling as following her dreams, doing what she wants to do and I admire that.

That being said, it must be difficult for her, especially with the whole Mark situation. Until you mentioned the Veela thing, it never even occurred to me that it would be difficult to swallow - after all, she's right: they aren't fully human. I felt really sorry for her when I read that and could fully understand. However, Louis does have a point. If Mark does love her, he'll accept her. Sure, there'll be problems due to the fact that she hid it from him so I don't blame her for being scared... especially with his reaction at the end.

Anyways, this has piqued my curiosity so I'll be reading on.

Great chapter!

Plums xo
♡♡♡

[Also, that line about Louis not knowing where to look was hilarious. Poor Louis. 😂]

Author's Response: Oh, hey, look at you there! Would you believe me if I told you this story came out of no where and I had never even thought about writing Next Gen until I signed up for this challenge and asked for a random character and I was given Dominique? I literally knew nothing about Next Gen except for the DH epilogue and I didn't even know who the crap Dominique was. I sat in my living room looking at my husband like... "Who the crap is this?! I don't know if I can do this..."

This story is the highest read and reviewed of any of my stories and I still don't know how that happened. But, through writing this story, I came to love a whole new side of fanfiction and I really, really love Dominique. There's a fine line between doing what's right and what is correct and we want those two things to be the same thing, but they just aren't a lot of the time.

I got a little more in depth into this reply than is correct for this chapter of the story. Oh well. I ramble. (A lot.)

You only left the one other review and I'm not sure what to make of it, but I hope you liked the story? o.O

-Liz


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Review #11, by AbraxanUnicorn Phase Five: Tell Me Who You Are

26th October 2016:
I love a good story with an open ending! I expect things will work out for Mark and Dom in the long run, but only you would know that :) It's a really well-written story and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I can't believe I haven't found your stories before today! Off to check out what else you've written...

Author's Response: Hello and welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Things will eventually work out for Mark and Dom and believe me when I say, I have a whole series of one shots with their names on it! I'm glad you enjoyed it and feel free to peruse through my stories as much as you like!

-Liz


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Review #12, by marauderfan Phase Five: Tell Me Who You Are

25th October 2016:
Team Werewolf Review for HPFT

I'm finally here to review this like I promised a while ago.

First, I don't know why this story doesn't have a million reviews. Maybe because it draws the reader in so much that you just simply can't put it down.

I loved the way you slowly revealed bits of their past, until the whole story was out in the open. And the dynamics here are so complex. On one hand, Dom is constantly manipulating Mark and then erasing his memory of it, which is like... pretty morally objectionable. She's stealing his own memories away from him. But on the other hand, there's a very positive aspect to it - almost like they're meant to be, since they keep crossing paths and being drawn to one another and falling in love. Dom doesn't want to hurt him, but she can't help but think that maybe this time it will be different. And it almost is, but she jumped to conclusions too early, and Mark reached out too late. And so after three failed attempts, she tries to fix her mistake in the only way she thinks she can. Maybe because of that, I really wanted Mark and Dom to be able to work it out! Like, they were on the same page, just not at the same time. I'm kind of reminded of that line in the Bob Dylan song Tangled up in Blue, "we always did feel the same, we just saw it from a different point of view" which seems to sum up these two quite perfectly :P

The ending is PERFECT. It's heartbreaking because she decided to forget, but at the same time very fitting because she's been tormented by the knowledge of what she did to him for so long, it's like a sort of karmic justice, in a way. It finally turns the tables for the first time which is something I think Mark needed, after he's been constantly manipulated by her for three years, now he's the one with the knowledge of their past. Their history is incredibly complicated, but at least it's more equal now!

And it ends so sadly, how she can't remember, but also incredibly hopeful. Maybe this time it will work out? After all, this time they don't have to go through the bit about her modifying his memory and her being a witch, because he already knows and this time he has time to adjust to it.

Gorgeous story. Really wonderful work ♥

Author's Response: Hi! You can stop by whenever, I'm in no rush. I'll still be here. ^_^

If it had a million reviews, I'd probably die of shock, so that's probably why. To preserve my life. ;)

I don't even know how to respond to this review. It really makes my day and I'm so glad you liked to so much and understood it on such a level. I always thought it's sort of s curse for a magical person to fall in love with a muggle/mortal. It's a very big risk to take, telling something so personal and important, especially when your laws expressly forbid it for the most part. It's walking a very torturous line and I tried to illustrate that here.

A sequel is coming in the form of a series of one-shots if you want to see what happens. The first one should be up sometime in December for the Christmas challenge.

Thank you for reading and I'm really so very, very glad you liked it.

-Liz


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Review #13, by celticbard Phase Four: Remember Strawberry

18th September 2016:
Hiya Liz!
Here I am, hitting you back for this month's BvB. Wow. What an awesome chapter! You should never, ever doubt your talent for writing, because this chapter is proof enough that you are an accomplished writer. It's so eloquent, so heart-stirring. Usually, I find straight-up romances a little too cutesy for my taste, but this was just beautiful. Mark and Dom belong together. Yup. I'm officially shipping them now. Victoire is right, there is a special connection between them. And you've illustrated that connection so elegantly through your prose. Seriously, I loved, loved loved this chapter.

There were so many wonderful lines/scenes in this chapter, Mark's aching, yet blurred memories of Dom, Dom's determination to finally break it off with Mark, Marks' realization of just who Dom is when he finds the ring. Ugh. You're killing me here. It's all intertwined so perfectly. Remember strawberry. It just gives me chills!

Also, I just adored Mark's Mum. She seems awesome. So funny, insightful and truly caring. The dialogue during Mark's phone conversation with her was so endearing. I could already tell what type of relationship they had and it was so sweet!

You must be a writing “witch” yourself, Liz. ;) You wrote this absolutely adorable chapter, but were able to avoid all the common cliches associated with romances. This story feels so genuine. I don't how I forgot to fave it before, but I am definitely faving it now. Excellent dialogue. Excellent pacing. Excellent imagery. Everything just worked so well. It was truly a joy to read this chapter. As you can tell, I think I'm falling hard for this story. ;)

Best,
Lee Anne

Author's Response: I swear, I replied to this last night... It posted. My notification went away. But now it's back and my reply is gone. I... I am confused.

You, my dear, have a gift for making me blush! You and Rose and Kevin and Jill. I am spoiled- my head will inflate and I'll die when it explodes... Would you believe I don't normally do straight up romance? I tried for NaNoWriMo once and I ran out of ideas, so I threw in a serial killer. Maybe short romances are my forte! I also have to work very hard to do cutesy. Like Graduating Interest? I couldn't even write that completely fluffy without a little "omg, I hurt his feelings!" angst. So I'm very glad that this came out so well for you! I believe that a character needs to go through a lot of crap before the good stuff happens.

I love Mark's Mum! In my head, her voice is Mrs. Potato Head from Toy Story. I like the funny side characters.

No clichés, eh? That seems... Unlikely. I'm sure they're in there.

Don't fall too hard, you only have one chapter left! Actually, don't read the last chapter... Well, give me a head start to run and hide, first. *starts running*

Thank you so much!
-Liz


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Review #14, by TidalDragon Phase Five: Tell Me Who You Are

4th September 2016:
Oof. For a minute there I thought you were really going to leave us with a brutal ending. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for brutal endings, but like I said last time, I was rooting for them.

Honestly, as a hopeless romantic, this story is incredible to me in its overall message - that love can truly beat anything. There are, of course, many stories with that message (the original series obviously among them, albeit in a different way), but in the magical world, beating repeated memory charms, and as is implied, ones going both ways seems awesomely transcendent.

Mad props for an excellent story. Truly. I'll be recommending it to people. And consider it favorited too!

Author's Response: I couldn't have a brutal ending, but a happy one didn't seem fitting either. So I settled for hopeful and I thought it fit rather well.

I'm so glad you enjoyed this story so much. Thank you for your reviews, your kind words, your recommendations, and your favorite. I can't tell you how much it means to me. You are awesome, Kevin, and I'm so glad my story entertained you. :)

-Liz


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Review #15, by TidalDragon Phase Four: Remember Strawberry

4th September 2016:
Well, Dominique is trying to muck things up for herself again isn't she? Hopefully she won't. You've gotten me invested in this pair!

I feel bad for Mark though. It's interesting the interaction with Donnie and though it may have nothing to do with it and everything to do with the ring and its impact related to the final moments before the obliviation, but I wondered if you had thought about perhaps the booze somehow affecting the brain as a depressant in a way that assisted. That's really far out there, so probably definitely not :P but yeah, these are the weird things I think about.

Though this isn't necessarily integral, I did want to point out that Donnie did a good job showcasing your ability to write accents. I rarely try them because I butcher them, so I'm impressed when people write them and seem to get them right/authentic (not that I'd necessarily know - maybe that's MY problem :P).

Anyway, another great chapter is in the books and I'm psyched to see what comes next!

Author's Response: Ah, yes, she is. Very much so! As they keep saying, she's not the brightest Ravenclaw. All while I was writing this, I kept thinking, "Well, why didn't she do this? It would have been smarter than what she's doing..." And the truth is that Dominique is rather impulsive. She can have a brilliant idea, but she will act on it before she thinks it through.

I did NOT think about that, but I wish I had. It makes a lot of sense!

Oh dear, I almost never write accents, so I'm glad that came out well. I'm working on a collab with two OCs and one is Scottish and one is Irish and I'm changing the Irish to just English because Scottish is hard enough to edit. XD

Thank you so much!
-Liz


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Review #16, by TidalDragon Phase Three: Burn It Down

4th September 2016:
Quick thingy: "Bought be a hot chocolate." Just a small typo.

So! Burn it down indeed! And I can honestly say, A+ for originality with this. I have never read a repeat dating a Muggle story and it's really cool how all these other breadcrumbs you left behind came together in that concept here. The Obliviator training. The "history repeating itself" (which I of course expected to have been a DIFFERENT person, but then that would be a little weird I guess, having it blow up with a Muggle, yet still dating another one).

Now I'm just darn intrigued to see what happens going forward (I'm assuming they'll find each other...AGAIN...but then what).

Author's Response: I will fix that as well!

Hahaha, when Rose read this chapter, she absolutely flipped out... "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BURN IT DOWN?" There's a tweet on Twitter where she shows off her impressive nostril-flaring ability over this chapter.

I had to go back and work in all those breadcrumbs so I'm glad you noticed. This story didn't start to take shape until Mark asked the BIG question and I was like, "Well, crap... Did I already say she was an Obliviator? I did? I can use that..."

Thank you for another review!
-Liz


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Review #17, by TidalDragon Phase Two: Tell Him You're a Witch

4th September 2016:
Alright! I'm back!

So, we got a lot more characterization here of Mark, and again, I like that he's quite different than others in this situation I've read. He is completely freaked out. But he doesn't totally lose it. He doesn't storm out and then beg forgiveness. He doesn't break up with her immediately. He doesn't go berserk on the family. He goes about listening to her explanation in (IMO anyway) the right way: trying to see if her magical ability changes anything about who she is.

From the "writing as a whole" side, I thought the choice to go into Mark's head here was a good one. While I'm all for subtext, and having readers have to interpret these things for themselves based on body language, word choice for dialogue, etc. I think it made more sense to go deep with him because we are more immersed in his overwhelmed state as a result and we get to see the things he's evaluating, not just that he is evaluating. It was cool. And you pulled it off well structurally with shorter sentences at points, etc.

I also like that in keeping with his reaction we didn't lose glimpses of their relationship dynamic during Dom's "EQ&A" period which is important.

If there was one thing I'd look back at here it's this sentence: "[s]he had gotten into plenty trouble growing up, most of it no thanks to her big sister trying to stay out of trouble." I deduced what you were saying on the second read, but it was an odd (in the U.S. anyway) use of "no thanks to" because in a way it (still) reads as if you're actually saying "thanks to her sister". Minor, but I noted it.

You're still off to a spectacular start and these cliffhangers at the end are currently working well for you.

Author's Response: Hi Kevin! I was going to respond to your reviews yesterday, but I was so overwhelmed by your words and recommendations, I had to take a step back. Please let me again say thank you so much!

I could not stand by and let the whole story be told from Dominique's POV when this is really Mark's story. He is the victim, he is the one being affected by it the most, he needs to tell some of the story. ^_^ I'm so glad that I managed to come up with a reaction you haven't read before! I myself don't think I've ever read a 'tell the Muggle you're magical' story before, so this was pretty interesting trying to figure out.

I will go back and reword that ASAP. I was trying to get as much of the story written and posted before the end of the challenge, so my editing of the first three chapters was not up to par... XD

Thank you so much for your review!
-Liz


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Review #18, by TidalDragon Phase One: Bring Boyfriend to Dinner

4th September 2016:
Howdy! I realized when scoping out your AP that even though I thought I'd started this story, it ended up that I had not and now that it's five (5) chapters in I'd definitely say it's high time I got underway.

First of all, I love the characterization of Dominique. It's so tempting to have all the Next Gen kids have this high-flying careers even if they have different issues, so it was refreshing to see Dominique, who is flustered and stressed yes, but comfortable with who she is and her choices - even if she's not quite comfortable with her boyfriend knowing it all yet.

I also liked that you didn't blast through to the main event right off the bat as so many of these "Muggle Meets Parents" fics try to do. It allowed us a lot more time to take in that excellent characterization of Dominique and to put it in a greater context so that the events of later in the chapter and the relationship dynamic between Dom and Mark didn't come out of the blue at the Ledbury.

Even though they weren't at the forefront here, I also liked the time you've obviously put into the characterizations of Louis, Victoire, and others behind the scenes too. It gave even the introduction an added depth that many such stories lack!

A great start and I hope to be back for more soon!

Author's Response: *deep breath* Hi Kevin! It's so good of you to stop by! Go ahead and take your time- five chapters is the entire length of this story.

Dom's situation ended up being a surrogate for my old Potter's World character who also became a seamstress after school. I actually prefer my characters not to have more glamorous jobs unless A) it's canon or B) important to the plot.

Honestly, it is because I am incapable of "blasting through" that this is a 5 chaptered short story rather than the one-shot it was supposed to be! Well that and because Mark asked a question... But that's another chapter!

Oh, gosh, Kevin, thank you so much for this review! I'm so glad you enjoyed the characters and it makes me happy that you noticed the little details here and there about the family and people in Dom's life. To me, those are things that make the story come to life.

I hope you come back, too! Thank you SO much! Between you and Lee Anne, you have both just made my entire weekend!

-Liz


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Review #19, by celticbard Phase Three: Burn It Down

4th September 2016:
Hello Liz!
I'm back for more Dom/Mark goodness. Although there doesn't seem to be much goodness for them in this chapter. Oh dear. What a terrible mess they've both gotten themselves into. I feel really, really bad for both of them, which is actually a great thing, because you've truly made me care for these characters.

Poor Dom and Mark. It's obvious, well, at least to me, that they should be together. I mean, even when Dom was about to erase his memory at the end of the chapter, Mark was still determined to hold onto the good memories he had with her. He's definitely in love with her, even after all the times she did lie to him. Even after going through this painful series of revelations about betrayal and deceit. Even after Dom admitted that she had taken away so much of the last few years of his life with a memory charm. Hmm, if that doesn't make him a man in love, I don't know what would. And as for Dom, she did go back to Mark three times, even though she probably knew what the outcome would be. I think she's right though. It might be fate. If only they can get past this one huge obstacle, that is.

As far as the technical aspects of this chapter go, I think you did a wonderful job. Your writing is solid, your descriptions apt and I especially enjoyed the dialogue, which fit both of the characters and the situation perfectly. I did notice a few very minor typos, but those are no big deal. ;)

Oh and this is a bit of a side note, but I just wanted to tell you how amazing your banners are, not only for this fic, but for your others too. You are not only a talented writer, but a very, very skilled artist as well. :)

Again, I'm so glad I found this story and have had the chance to read it. I think you've done a wonderful job with this fic and the subject matter. It certainly is no easy task Dom has ahead of her, if she decides to try to win Mark's heart back. I certainly hope she does, because I'm really looking forward to seeing just how their relationship goes. Great writing, Liz. You've truly done a fabulous job here.

Best,
Lee Anne

Author's Response: Not long after your review, Kevin dropped by with one of his own and I just... I don't even have the words. I love my stories and I love my graphics, but I really don't have a lot of faith that I have any talent at either. I just do them because they make me happy. It literally makes me want to cry when I get reviews like this because if someone like you, who is an oh-so amazing writer, likes something that I wrote so much, then maybe one day I will be good enough to publish my own book, which aside from going to college for graphic design, is probably my biggest personal life goal.

This story was literally written on a whim for a challenge and I almost didn't do it because I was afraid to write Next Gen. But then it began to grow on me and Dom and Mark became real to me and if the reviews I get for this story are anything to go on, it's probably the best piece I've ever written.

Thank you so much for your kind words and the time you've taken to read this far. I truly hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

-Liz


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Review #20, by celticbard Phase Two: Tell Him You're a Witch

16th August 2016:
Hi Liz!
It's Lee here, with your review for BvB. I'm so, so glad that I'm getting a chance to read the rest of this story. Wow. Mark is an amazing guy. I like him a lot. He obviously cares for Dom very much. I can understand, however, him feeling a little freaked out thinking that Dom might have actually used magic on him. Everyone has their breaking point and I think Mark was being quite generous with Dom, even just by giving her a chance to attempt to talk things over.

Speaking of which, I thought you did a great job writing the conversation between Mark and Dom. I think it's hard to imagine just how someone would explain something so odd in a relatively normal manner, but their dialogue came across as natural. Of course, Mark was rightfully flabbergasted, though at times, he seemed even more level-headed than Dom. Perhaps that is because you hinted at something like this happening to her before with a bad outcome? Well, I'm thoroughly intrigued. ;)

Again, I really like the way this story is going. The plot is strong, it's definitely holding my attention. The characters are interesting and well-rounded. And the dialogue is smart and well-written. Excellent work, Liz! I cannot wait to read more.

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Lee! A name! (Can I still call you Khaleesi? o.O)

I am a Harry Potter nut, so, I've actually had similar conversations with my husband trying to explain certain things about canon or my AU, ect. It's not normally this emotionally packed, though. That I just tried to put myself into the shoes of someone who was finding out that someone they thought they knew was a completely different person. That's also why Mark was so level-headed at times- he was learning new things about Dom, but he couldn't see her as someone he didn't already love.

I'm glad you like it so much! This story was my challenge baby!
-Liz


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Review #21, by celticbard Phase One: Bring Boyfriend to Dinner

14th August 2016:
Hi SilverMoonFairy!
Don't mind me as I sample some of your stories here. ;) Seriously, I'm so happy that I was able to read and review this. What a great story! I can so relate to Dom, being a seamstress myself. It is very calming to work on an outfit, especially if you're hand sewing it, but I digress. What a steep hill for her to climb! She has to introduce her boyfriend to her family AND tell him that she's a witch. Whew! I definitely admire her tenacity and resolve.

The scene in her apartment was perfect and I think, very easy for a lot of women to relate to. I mean, after all, it makes a lot of sense to comfort and distract ourselves with the familiar (in Dom's case, it's putting together an outfit) in order to think through a problem. You also managed to show us a lot about Dom by leaving little tidbits here and there, like her interactions with her family and siblings, her disappointment over not living up to their expectations, her need for stability and honesty in her relationship with her boyfriend. For example, the mention of Dom not following through with her Obliviator training was a great way to show readers a little of her personality. She's insecure about her talents, obviously and even though I bet she enjoys her job at Madam Malkins, I'm sure she “settled” in a way,when she accepted the position. See, you have me rambling on about Dom as though she were a real person. That's how vivid a picture you painted of her. Excellent work!

As far as nitpicks go, I don't have much, except I think you may have used the incorrect word in this sentence, “Crookshanks the Second, prodigy of Hermione's cat and a stray she had taken in.” Instead of “prodigy”, I think you meant “progeny”, as in, Crookshanks the Second was related to or the offspring of the original Crookshanks. Prodigy implies that the cat is a young genius or exceptionally talented at a young age. Unless Crookshanks the Second is a prodigy of some kind, lol. I'm just kidding! ;)

Anyway, this was a wonderful start to what promises to be a great story. I truly cannot wait to read more. :)

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Khaleesi! (I spelled it right this time. T_T) Sample away! I apologize, I don't have more for you to view. I'm working on it, though!

I was assigned Dom as a random character to write about for the challenge this story was written for. I had never, ever, ever done a Next Gen and was daunted by the task. I am very excited with the reactions I've gotten on this story about her character, so I appreciate that you appreciate her and her talents! (So cool that you are a seamstress as well! I used to do homemade projects.) She is probably one of my favorite characters to write about now and I am so very excited that she seemed so real to you!

Ah, yes... That is a mistake. Oops. Thank you! (I am a terrible Ravenclaw, hahaha!)

Thank you for your wonderful review and I hope you enjoy the story.
-Liz


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Review #22, by Hdenizzz Phase Five: Tell Me Who You Are

8th August 2016:
Your story is so original that i loved it. I loved the fact that mark kept coming back to dom. For an instance i thought they found dom before she made herself obliviated. Can't wait for reading the next chapter. When will you update?

Author's Response: I'm really sorry, but if you've read chapter 5, this is the end. The story is complete. (I like strange endings...) I'm glad you enjoyed it, though! It was so fun to write! I do have a couple of one-shots in mind for Mark and Dom in the future, though, if you want to keep an eye out! Thank you so much for reading!

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Review #23, by BellaLestrange87 Phase One: Bring Boyfriend to Dinner

29th July 2016:
This is for the Blue vs Bronze review battle! Just a heads up, I'll be writing my review as I go.

After only a few paragraphs, you have me hooked. I feel like I know Dom already - her worry about introducing magic to her boyfriend (how long did she date him that he didn't notice her wand?) and introducing her boyfriend to her parents.

Dom seems very happy with her boyfriend. Tall, dark, and handsome, and he sounds like he really loves her. Hopefully he won't react too badly to learning that she's a witch, if that comes out, which I feel like it will at some point.

They seemed happy at the restaurant, for a bit, anyways. I feel like Dom should definitely have at least told her parents that she was dating a Muggle so that they wouldn't say anything they shouldn't. That definitely didn't end well at all. I'm sad for Dom, but I think she could have acted better (or smarter, I suppose).

I really enjoyed this chapter! I'm really interested in figuring out what happens next, and I'll be back really quickly for chapter two!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi, Olivia!

It is a pretty bad theme for Dom in this story- she is very smart, but she also does not think things through. She is a rather impulsive Ravenclaw. (I think she must have been a hatstall for Gryffindor.)

I'm very glad that you are enjoying the story and look forward to you getting rather mad at me by the end. XD Thank you for your review!

-Liz


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Review #24, by Tonks1247 Phase One: Bring Boyfriend to Dinner

29th June 2016:
Hiya! I’m here from the review battle!

I must say…I absolutely adore what you’ve started here! Dominique is such a unique character, much different than many of the other stories I’ve read with her (which is a good thing! Refreshing view and makes it seem like I’m getting to know her character again for the first time…I love it!). She is super independent and makes her own life choices, despite what her parents may want, but does want to please them and make peace with them. She wants them to like this muggle guy she’s been with and just…it’s the perfect start to what ensues.

The other characters as well, I feel I get to know them quickly. I think maybe because Dominique’s character was so relatable for me, that it was easy to understand her relationship to Mark and to her siblings and parents. The way Victoire and Louis reacted to things and the interaction between her and Mark, and how Mark seems to know her so well (besides the witch thing, of course xD)

That said, the introduction to Dominique’s character, as well as the others, is well ingrained in the plot. It’s really good to be able to get into the plot and get to know a character all at the same time. It makes it easier to see Dominique dragging her siblings outside to lecture them about behaving, only to then inadvertently tell Mark what she hadn’t yet told him. It’s an easy way to get pulled into the plot and come to adore the characters all at once.

Honestly, you’ve laid quite a beautiful foundation for these character and these events, and I’m interested to see where you take this. Lovely start!

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Hi, Mikaela!

Thank you for stopping by and reviewing! I'm so glad you enjoyed the first chapter! This is my first adventure into the land of Next Gen and while I didn't think it would take me quite so far into the future, I'm very happy with the way it's turning out and the way it's being received!

Dominique is becoming a very dear character to me as I sort of put all my middle-child anxieties into her, haha. I would like to explore her childhood a bit at some point, but for now, she's just going to live in this story and be amazing.

I've got the whole thing plotted out and will be posting a new chapter hopefully tonight. By the end of July, you should be able to read to the end!

Thank you for the wonderful review!
-Liz


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Review #25, by adluvshp Phase Two: Tell Him You're a Witch

23rd June 2016:
Hey! Lost Muse here with your challenge review.

Wow, I really liked reading this! You've a very nice story here. I am actually eager to read more. Dominique is one of my favourite Next-Gen characters and I love writing her. So, it was very interesting for me to see her from your perspective. Her fears regarding coming out as a witch made sense and your portrayal of Mark's reactions were spot on too. You did a great job and I already ship Mark/Dom. The entire narrative came out beautifully and all in all this made for a brilliant read. Good job!

Cheers
Angie

Author's Response: You just... You just made my day. I was working on two other challenges plus the third chapter of this story when the forums went down and on the same day my computer stopped working and they told me yesterday that the hard drive was bad, so everything I had is now gone. It means a lot that you liked it so much- it was my first challenge in years and years and I was super excited about it. Hopefully, I will be able to finish the last three chapters with my notes. Thank you so, so much and thank you for a great challenge.

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