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Reading Reviews for Obliviate
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SunshineDaisies Obliviate

11th April 2017:
OH MY GOD. SHOOT ME IN THE HEART. PIERCE MY SOUL. UGH. OUCH.

Okay, sorry, I'm here for CtF, as it seems Sam has gotten herself locked up again!

This was absolutely gorgeous.I absolutely love pretty language like this, so getting to read it was a real treat. :) That first paragraph is just poetry, I swear. It has such a nice meter and flow and do you write poetry? Because I think you should consider it. Likewise, is this a podcast? Because I would LOVE to listen to that.

I didn't know what this was about at first, I just didn't pay attention to the story shell, and honestly I think that's the way to read this. It took me a few paragraphs to figure out who was speaking and what she was about to do, and it made the heartbreak so much more acute. The whole thing was just so gradual for me, and I really think it made it more impactful.

I also really liked the way you incorporated the prompt you were given. It definitely plays out through the whole piece, and then

They're my parents, but, for them to survive, they can't be anymore.

That is such a beautiful adaption of Bellamy's quote. It's obviously inspired by it, but if I hadn't known that was your prompt, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. You just made the whole thing work so seamlessly! Beautiful. Aside from the more direct quote, you really did an excellent job of weaving the prompt into the whole story. You can see echos of it in that first paragraph (I might be obsessed with that first paragraph, who's to say?), and then again throughout the whole thing.

Alright, I’m off to go see if Sam’s gotten herself in anymore trouble. Thank you for the gorgeous read!

katie.

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Review #2, by Dojh167 Obliviate

11th April 2017:
CtF Hufflepuff Review

This is one of the most heartbreaking moments in the series, even when we don’t see it. There is absolutely no way to think about this or pass it off that doesn’t destroy me. And since I apparently enjoy pain, I’m here to read your version of it =P

I think this was a really great moment to tie into threat quote from The 100. The show is all about having to make impossible decisions in impossible situations, and I think you’ve chosen a great moment from the hp series to represent that.

Your opening paragraph kept me out of the story a bit, as it was a bit unclear of whose perspective it was from. Were these Hermione’s thoughts, or just your thoughts as the narrator? The next paragraph, beginning “Everything is crackling” did a better job of grounding me in Hermione’s world and the story.

You introduce a side of Hermione that we don’t see f to much in the books, which is that she heavily relies on Ron and Harry. You did a good job of using that to deepen her struggle for having to do this alone, but I was really curious to know more about her dependence on them, as that was just quickly mentioned.

It hurts me that with the line “It is either this or put them in serious danger and I can’t allow them to suffer because of my choices” Hermione was trying to protect Ron and Harry with this act, more than protect her parents. It makes sense. She does need to emotionally distance herself from her parents in order to be able to do this in the first place.

I really like the line “I have to take away every last piece of me” It seems to not only literally apply to how she is changing the pieces of her in her parents’ minds and house, but in her own self. She is becoming a different person by doing this.

Yes, this broke my heart. Very rude. Whoops, I signed up for that. Darn.

Sam.

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Review #3, by MadiMalfoy Obliviate

22nd May 2016:
Hi Amy! I'm here for my "The 100" Quote Challenge! :)

The quote you picked is one of my favorites from the show, and the fact that it is Bellamy who says it makes it stand out all the more for me considering his character arc through all three seasons. With that in mind, I was really looking to see how you captured those feelings of fear, uncertainty, and resolve into this piece about Hermione.

In my initial read-through, I typically expect the quote to be plopped in as that's easiest to do, so I almost missed the way you weaved it into the theme of the story instead, something that is much harder to do, in my opinion. After reading through it a couple more times I was able to pick out the points where the quote's meaning became most prominent in Hermione's story, which is when she talks about how her parents can no longer be her parents if she wants them to survive the war they're entering. This quote actually resonates with me for Hermione too--she has to do things she may not be inclined to do in her nature, but if she wants to live, she has to do them so that they can defeat Voldemort once and for all.

You've done beautifully with this and the results will be posted soon! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

P.S. Have you watched the season 3 finale yet?!?

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Review #4, by marauderfan Obliviate

20th May 2016:
Hi Amy! I'm here with your requested review :)

So, this is really good. I love that you chose to get into Hermione's mind at such a vulnerable, scary moment for her. Obviously the war was something that scared her, but this moment is when it probably became its most personal for her - she literally had to make her parents forget that she existed, and erase herself from their life. And then send them halfway around the world. That cannot have been easy. And you really show that here in Hermione's thoughts in the beginning, how she's really struggling with what she has to do.

I really appreciate that you highlighted how Hermione really relied on Harry and Ron as much as they relied on her. We all know Harry wouldn't have gotten anywhere without Hermione's help, but she always comes across as so unflappable in the books and how she is so logical and has everything together. She doesnt talk about her feelings much in the books (understandably, because her two best friends are Harry and Ron and they'd have no idea what to do) so it's wonderful to have a look into her feelings here, especially at such an emotional time. And I think you've done really well in that regard, as it's kind of a struggle of head vs heart for her - her head wins, as she knows it will all along, but her heart hurts at what she has to do, and what has already been done. She's so fragile here, and all alone, and this scene just humanizes her so much. I love that you chose this scene to write and that you wrote it this well. The logic in her thought process is distinctly Hermione-ish, and there's so much feeling in addition to that. Really, this is beautiful.

And the ending - so simple, and so effective. Aghh. so sad.

As for CC: your grammar is wonderful, characterisation perfect. One thing kind of stood out to me in terms of continuity though. You mention that she's left a few things and everything else is packed, but then it makes me wonder: after she Obliviated her parents, did she go back into her room and pack up the remaining things before leaving? I kind of imagined her doing the spell and then going to finish packing and they hear that - or see her walking out - and they then find her and are confused :S Maybe this is a picky thing, haha. But I think it'd help with the scene (as well as fit with Hermione's characteristic planning-ahead-ness) to indicate how Hermione plans to make her exit without being noticed after doing the Obliviate spell.

Anyway, I really loved this, it was such a great read! Thanks for requesting! :)

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Review #5, by Gabriella Hunter Obliviate

19th May 2016:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review and sorry that I'm heading over here kind of late. I'm kind of going through some RL things at the moment and haven't been feeling all that great but I'm here now!

I really enjoyed this!

I feel like we never hear enough about Hermione's struggle in fan fic when it comes to how she had to leave her parents behind. It's such an emotional scene that I wish we had seen more of in the books too but I love what you've done here.

There's something so smooth and perfect about your word choice too. I was sucked in from the very first paragraph and I love that we get so much subtle emotion from Hermione. She's always displayed as being very strong and capable but we often forget that she's suffering as well.

I like this vulnerable side to her and the fact that she has accepted that this war might take it all. That fear is real and so beautifully written here, so by the time she does erase her parent's memories, you feel it.

It was a powerful way to end this, I think and I thought you made a good choice here not to add any dialogue. It was nice enough to be in Hermione's mind, feeling and grieving with her and I really liked this!

Great job!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #6, by MuggleMaybe Obliviate

17th May 2016:
Hello dear :)

I’m here for your requested review and I confess I didn’t read the summary until I clicked on the story and I’m almost crying already. Usually I am irritated when movie adaptations add things that aren’t in the source material, but the way they added this scene in the movie was AMAZING, and I’ve never read a fic about it before so I am Quite Excited. But also crying.

Here we go.

*Cue tears*

Yep, TEARS. I need a moment. And a tissue.

Hermione is the one that has her act together. She’s the one who has a plan, who is composed, and logical, and reliable in the face of so much chaos. But of course, she also has, to borrow the phrase, an emotional range MUCH larger than a teaspoon. You’ve pulled back the curtain so we can see past her calm façade, and I can tell you took great care in considering how she would feel.

I particularly love her observation that Ron and Harry don’t realize how much she relies on them. I think that’s really true, and it makes me really want to climb into the story and give Hermione a tremendous hug. *HUGS FOR HERMIONE*

She expresses a sort of feeling of powerlessness – that she doesn’t have a choice about the war, and doesn’t have a choice about her parents. There’s a fascinating contrast between that experience of powerlessness and the immense power she wields in casting the Obliviate spell.

For CC, I suggest looking for ways to build in sensory details. I think moments that carry such heavy meaning for the participant tend to resonate more when there’s a strong sense of place. Just a thought.

I found one error with tense – “Everything in my room is packed except for visible items so that they didn’t catch on that I am leaving.” --> “didn’t” should be “don’t”

I LOVE that you finished with just that one word, Obliviate. A perfect final stroke.

This was super sad but you’ve really gotten into Hermione’s thoughts and I’m so glad you requested a review! Definitely drop by my thread any time! :)

xoxo Renee

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Review #7, by victoria_anne Obliviate

16th May 2016:
Hey Amy!

Lovely to meet you! This is the first story of yours I have read!
And, ah, you can just break my heart, it's fine really...

I LOVED this. I always love finding these little gems that are tiny but carry the biggest impact. You write so well, your words just flow beautifully. Your characterisation of Hermione is nice, I especially love this part: I doubt they realise how much I rely on them. It's so true. Hermione is tough, but she leans on Harry and Ron as much as they lean on her. I love it ♥

I think you made your prompt work absolutely perfectly, I am honestly in awe, because I know I wouldn't have a clue with what to do with a quote like that!

Truly gorgeous work ♥

- Bianca

Author's Response: Hi!
It's nice to meet you too! I would say sorry for breaking your heart, but I'm just not sorry :P
I've never been one for writing long pieces. I tend to say everything I want to say in the least amount of words. I never intend to, it just always happens.
People tend to look up to strong characters (and people) and don't always realise that they are just people who also need others to help them.
I was leaning towards doing a Snape becoming a double agent story or one with Lupin choosing to go and see if he could help the trio instead of staying with Tonks, but this one just came to me and had to be written!
Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #8, by PaulaTheProkaryote Obliviate

15th May 2016:
Hello!

My first thought is that I think the way you wrote this story is absolutely perfect for your quote. Brilliant interpretation!

I really like that you chose this moment because it sticks perfectly to the story, but it elaborates a bit. Your Hermione is very accurate to what I think she would feel and think. Despite being highly logical, she's also quite emotional and I think you depict that really well. I feel Hermione's desperation and that ache in her heart to do anything other than what she needs to do. It's very Gryffindor to do so anyway.

I particularly like your introductory sentences because it's so true that war alters everything in its path. Friends, families, lives. It changes everything, wizarding wars and muggle wars alike.

I think my favorite line was "Harry and Ron rely on me so much but I doubt they realise how much I rely on them." I'm very much like Hermione in that in my social circles I'm the "mom friend" but I rely so much on my parents that it's unreal. I don't think I'd be brave enough to do what Hermione had to do.

Overall, I think your characterization and flow were both on point (or fleek...is that how you use that?). I particularly like how closely you stick to canon and how you portray the inner turmoil Hermione is struggling with. I think you did an excellent job with this story!

Author's Response: Hi!
Thank you so much! I spent a long time trying to think of what to do for this quote and they were all about someone changing during the war or starting to kill when they would never have thought about it before. But then this one came into my head and I just had to write it!
In the books, this moment is almost glanced over when Hermione first tells them. She says it a little matter-of-factly and it always got me wondering just how painful it must have been for her to do it. Just like you, I don't think I could have been brave enough to do what she did!
Hermione is always looked up to by Harry and Ron as the one who can solve everything or save them when they have no clue but they never really stop to think that she also needs someone to hold on to sometimes!
My knowledge of the use of the word 'fleek' is pretty much nothing so I have no clue. I think it sounds right there though..?
Thank you so much for the review!


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