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Reading Reviews for The Unmarried Weasley
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Felpata Lupin The Unmarried Weasley

15th May 2016:
Hello, little betee!!! *wub*
I never left you my notes on this, but I did tell you how much I adored the story, so now it's time to give you some proper feedback... (I'll leave my thoughts as I read, so forgive me if this will come out a bit confusing...)

So first, the Platform scene was adorable! I loved how you wrote Molly, scolding Bill and getting emotional over Charlie leaving for the first time. And the little reference to Ginny, too... so sweet!

And Charlie meeting "Just Tonks" for the first time is the funniest and cutest thing ever! I love how you wrote her, with her characteristical clumsiness and her equally characteristical pride. Great characterization! Loved it!

Yay! Hufflepuff pride! I love that she changed her hair colour to yellow to celebrate her house! Go, Hufflepuff!!! (sorry... I'll stop it now...)

Loved the Mandrakes' scene as well. Their friendship is adorable, and I agree with Charlie, Tonks is so much fun! Also, I already told you, but I love how you structured the story, breaking it in small sections and narrating the evolvment of their relationship through single moments in time. And I love how each scene ends with a thought of Charlie describing Tonks. It's super adorable!

Ah, the third year scene! I loved the teasing there! And the Hufflepuff hair again! :P Really, you write their friendship wondefully!

Ah, no... of course you don't fancy Tonks... who would ever think of something that absurd? *rolls eyes at Charlie's denial* "He decided that McCain was an idiot, and if Tonks liked him, she was one too." Ahahah! Someone's jealous... :P

And aww... the first kiss... I love how you wrote that scene, the playful teasing, and then Charlie surrending to the impulse (just like the Gryfindor he is) and the kiss in itself... so lovely! But she thinks it's bad, because they are friends, and because they are both in a relationship with other people... Aww, it's so sad... but so very believable, too.

Ah, you can't go back to friendship like that, it doesn't work that way... poor Charlie...

Ah, Charlie... *shakes head* It's most definitely not Quidditch. I'd call it jealousy. And of course, he managed to ruin everything... I'm feeling so bad for him... And his thoughts in the second part of fifth year are also so true and relatable... Poor Charlie...

Sixth year was great, too! There are still tensions between them, obviously, but they decide to give each other another chance. And it makes me so happy! And I love their way of understanding each other, and I love how you built all the story, because it's just so true!

Ah, seventh year made me so sad. They are together, but they are growing up too. They will soon be out of school and they need to make decisions for their future, and they might be separated by their carrier choices... And Charlie had hidden from her his will to move to Romania... I can see that she would get angry, but it still makes me sad...

And the scene of the last day makes me even more sad... He'd planned to propose to her... Poor Charlie... I want to cry... It's so unfair... But I guess life works that way, doesn't it?

And the epilogue. You wrote that last scene so beautifully... And for a moment you actually made me resent Remus for getting between them. But I can't stay angry at Remus for long, you know it... :P
“When the occasion calls for it, you can be pragmatic like a Ravenclaw, brave like a Gryffindor, determined like a Slytherin… but your best and most wonderful quality is that you can hope like a Hufflepuff. You always remain positive, even at the worst of times. That’s what ties all your other qualities together. You need to summon your inner badger, and keep going at it. No bloke is going to be able to say no to you for long. And I’m not just talking about that hot body of yours”
This is the most beautiful expression of love that could come from Charlie! And it really did capture the essence of a Hufflepuff! I love it, so much!

This is such a wonderful story, my adorable little Betee!!! Thank you for sharing it!
All the love in the world,
Chiara

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Review #2, by Penelope Inkwell The Unmarried Weasley

1st May 2016:
Hey Ysh!

I'm just popping around, trying to do a few random reviews before bed, and I thought I'd come check out this story. I'd been thinking lately that I'd never read anything of yours and should rectify that and, what can I say? The lovely banner pulled me in.

Well dang. I'd never thought of a Tonks/Charlie relationship. Tonks and Bill, maybe, since I seem to remember that Molly preferred her to Fleur, but I don't *think* this pairing had ever occurred to me. But it does make perfect sense. Charlie and Tonks were the same age, and I can see how someone who went on to raise dragons for a living fell for someone as good-natured and low maintenance as Tonks.

I was really glad to see that you worked her characteristic klutziness in, but that she was graceful on a broom. That was a nice detail. Really, the whole way you wrote Tonks was great. She valued herself and had her pride, but she was also kind and forgiving. And maybe, sometimes, she was a little oblivious.

Baby!Tonks and Baby!Charlie were so precious! I loved all the times you worked in her use of her metamorphmagus powers. What a score for Hufflepuff (a truly underrated house), having someone as awesome as Tonks!

Yeah Tonks! Defend the Slytherins! I was so happy to see the shout-out to Andromeda, and to see that it made Tonks less prejudiced than some of the Weasley boys were.

I also thought it made a lot of sense that, even if she wanted to kiss Charlie, Tonks would never cheat on her boyfriend. It's that Hufflepuff loyalty. But still! How different things could have been!

The saddest part was the fact that they weren't incompatible. I could imagine Charlie and Tonks going on to have a happy life together, and who knows what might have happened? I mean, in a relationship there's rarely only one party at fault, but it seems like the biggest problem was that Charlie couldn't quite get his act together. First, he was horrible to her boyfriends, which was no way to win her over. But I also felt that was perfectly in character and standard Weasley--after all, it's not like Ron was exactly smooth. He managed the Hermione/Krum situation almost exactly the same way. They got their stuff sorted probably half by Hermione being a very perceptive person, and half by the fact that circumstance kept drawing them together when, in another world, they might have fallen apart. Tonks and Charlie didn't quite have that luxury.

It's like, if he could have stood his ground once and just risked it, you know? I mean, I know he felt rejected when Tonks stopped kissing him, and on the one hand I'm glad that at least he sort of respected her choice? BUT if he had just said, "No, we're not gonna forget it. Not yet," and laid it all out on the table--that he'd had a crush on her for ages, that he only dated Sarah Griffiths to try to forget her, that he wanted to be with her and would she just break up with McCain--if he'd just been straightforward... ugh How different might their relationship have been? At the least, how many years of friendship might have been saved.

Same thing with the ring! If he'd just told her that she was wrong, that she wasn't tying him down, that he loved her...Ugh, my heart. But it also really fit well with his character that he never quite understood about people. After all, Charlie really was best with his animals.


CC: Okay, I always try to give a bit of CC. And in the words of Albus Dumbledore "This is, as they say, your party." You're the author, and you know what's best for your story--I won't mind if you take or leave it :D . Your writing is really excellent, so I had to be much nitpickier, but here are the little things that I did notice.

Molly Weasley was a quintessential mother
--I think that, when using that word "the" quintessential mother would be more correct than "a".

Human.That heavy thing
--these sentences need a space between them

After the game -
--it might be good to put this in Italics. It seems like it might be meant to be more of a timestamp.

with it’s force.
--"it's", here, should be "its"

It was chilly outside, but he didn’t seem to mind.
--The word "seem" doesn't, well...doesn't seem quite right, I don't think, since we're more or less in Charlie's head here. He'd know if he minded or if he didn't, wouldn't he?

boys behaving extra boisterous
--boisterous = boisterously

“This isn’t the end of a relationship, but the reunion of a great friendship.”
--It passes, but it doesn't seem like "reunion" is the most correct word here. Maybe "restoration", or "return"?



I'm love Remus and Tonks, and I'm so glad that you didn't sink their ship, but still gave us a very realistic high school romance and a reasonable explanation for why Charlie stayed away until the final battle. And, even if he'd been frustrating (somewhat sympathetic, but frustrating), I'm glad we got to see Charlie be a good guy in the end. It's like his biggest act of bravery was letting Tonks go, pushing her towards Remus, and that's the moment when you can really see why Charlie was a g I can't imagine what it must have been like for him, losing his brother and seeing the love of his life dead, all on the same day. I hope he found some happiness in life. I know this was a longer one-shot, but I enjoyed it from beginning to end. You have a great writing style--nice and smooth, with good grammar, plenty of description, and good dialogue. You've done a great job with this piece, and I'll have to pop back by your AP and read some more of you excellent work soon!

--Penny

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Review #3, by PaulaTheProkaryote The Unmarried Weasley

24th April 2016:
Hello lovely!

My first thought was total excitement at this story! It's relatively long which makes my heart pitter-patter and it's about the coolest Weasley of them all.

Your characterization of Molly dropping off her ickle baby boy was absolutely perfect. She's straight from the books.

Tonks is such a good character too. She's so warm and happy and ridiculous. If I was a metamorphagus I'd probably do the exact same outlandish hair as her. Just for the reaction! Since it caught the attention of Charlie, it clearly worked!"Tonks seemed highly tickled by the crying Mandrakes, and at a point even tried to hold one like his mother used to hold a baby" Can I just say how much I love the way you've characterized Tonks. I'm pretty sure I've already said that, but seriously, she's amazing. I totally get why she has all these boys chasing her! I have half a mind to myself!

I really like the snippets you've broken the story into. It's just the right amount of details to give the backstory some life. I think you did a good job of encompassing the moods of each year and where we were in their relationship.

The thing I like most about petty fourth year Charlie with the McCain situation is that he reminds me of Ron dealing with Hermione and Cormac. His reaction is just so similar to me and I think that was such a good way to portray him. They are brothers after all and in the books it always seemed like Ron always looked up to his cool brother studying dragons in Romania!

He definitely deserves that slap in fifth year. I'm glad that instead of crying about it, you had her smack him. That's much more in line with her character I think. She's a strong woman that would never take such blatant disrespect and he needs to choke down his jealousy. Ronald Weasley 2.0!

I kinda hate that Tonks made him choose between her or his career. I mean they literally can just apparate back and forth, right? They could have worked out the distance, but she was so bent on being dramatic. I'm glad that she took all of it back at the end of the year, but still. The ring was heartbreaking. You know he had to have been saving up for it forever too because his family isn't exactly rolling in the deep (that's not at all the correct usage of the phrase, but ignore that).

I love that through the entire story of mostly heartbreak for me (you're a cruel person), it stayed true to canon with Remus being the person she loved (and a bit of a coward about it). I think that also gives a better reason for Charlie not dropping everything like the rest of the Weasleys to fight.

Overall, I think you did such an excellent job with this story. It was wonderfully written, gave me hope and then took it all away. Charlie really grew gradually throughout the story and experienced all the troubles that teenage boys in love have to face. I think your characterization of everyone was spot on and your writing style made it really easily and enjoyable to read! Fabulous job!

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Review #4, by Gabriella Hunter The Unmarried Weasley

17th April 2016:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review and I'm sorry about the lateness. I was doing swaps yesterday and then real life got crazy. :D

Wow, this was a long piece but it was worth the read and I really loved it. I think that you've spaced out the time lapses so well here and I love that each part changes significant things about Charlie and Tonks's relationship.

I have never given them much thought before but I like the idea of them as a couple. I wish that we knew more about that or if it's even canon but I think that you working this into why Charlie never marries is excellent. There's this beautiful history between them and the heartbreak from both sides just makes me all tingly.

Charlie is usually kind of an underused character in the archives but I always thought he had some great potential. I like him here, he's blunt and compassionate and unsure of himself in moments when his emotions get the better of him. I also just adore your version of Tonks, this is more of how I pictured her in my head while reading the HP books.

I like that the two bounce around one another so well and know one another inside out. Charlie's acceptance to loving her, becoming angry and losing her were written so wonderfully. I think that Tonks has this problem with becoming emotionally invested in other people, perhaps out of fear but I like that you played around with that.

I was so upset by this ending and the fact that no matter what happened, things never quite worked out for them. It always felt one-sided during certain moments and Charlie not getting the chance to propose or even explain while Tonks dumped him was kind of harsh. Like...dang.

Anyway, that ending was bittersweet as I don't know what. I can understand why Charlie didn't want to have her there but at the same time, he loved her and their friendship mattered too much to him. Hearing Tonks collapse and break down about really, truly being in love with someone must have hurt and that last line just kinda shattered my soul. Just...beautiful writing on your end.

My only CC would be that this is kinda chunky so you might want to break up a few parts and make this a short story. I think that would help smooth it out more but otherwise, great job!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #5, by Pookha The Unmarried Weasley

16th April 2016:
So Charlie/Tonks unrequited or unfinished or in some other way doomed is my second OTP after Harry/Luna, so I usually seek out stories to read and review for it. I saw Unwritten Curse's link on the forums to this and had to come here.

I really like both of their characterizations and think that you nailed both of them perfectly. I also believe in the relationship as you put it on the page. We see the difference here in their relationship compared to Lily/Snape as Charlie and Tonks are able to forgive each other.

I also really love the vignette style that the story is told in with the scenes coming quickly.

Great job

Author's Response: Hello Pookha!

OMG Thank you so much for stopping by. I didn't think Charlie/Tonks was shipped by so many, so I'm really glad when you said this was your OTP. After writing this story, I'm kind of feeling them out as well.

Ohhh, yes the Lily/Snape reference did pop into my head when I was writing this as well, and I wanted to highlight how different from Snape Charlie was, yet how similar they were in how they adored their women.

I'm so glad you liked the format. I was a bit worried that it was too long.

Thank you so much for stopping by :D


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Review #6, by Unwritten Curse The Unmarried Weasley

15th April 2016:
Ysh, I don't have words right now.

I'm sitting here a crying mess because I loved this story and because I love you and I feel so blessed to call you a friend.

Cue the mush:

I LOVE TONKS AND CHARLIE. It's official. I love them. I loved when Charlie made the comment about Slytherins and Tonks was all "My mother was in Slytherin" and when Tonks came to him to ask to be friends again and she kept saying "something like that" and then CHARLIE WAS GOING TO PROPOSE and the final scene was what had me crying because she loves Remus but Charlie still loves her and everything is just so sad but so perfect.

ALL THE FEELS.

I see now that they couldn't be together because Charlie is a free spirit. He roams. And Tonks, despite her goofiness, needs stability. I don't blame her. She comes from a pretty rocky family background so it makes sense that she craves a healthy, stable home. Remus could've given that to her. And he did, for a short time. *cries harder*

You're such an incredible writer, Ysh. I am going to reread this story again and again because it's just so stunning. The dialogue and the characterization are perfect. Tonks is perfect. Charlie is perfect (shame on him for sleeping with a bunch of girls in an attempt to get over Tonks, but teenage boys can be stupid). I just love this.

Thank you.

xx Gina

Author's Response: Aw, the mushiness is getting to me too...

I was a little hesitant about whether or not you'd like this story because it isn't a canon pairing and I didn't know how you felt about it. I'm just so happy you liked it!!

Ahh yes, that part in the beginning, I wanted to show a little bit of the Black blood in Tonks, she IS 1/2 Black isn't she?

And yes, I see Tonks, the true Hufflepuff in her wouldn't want excitement but rather stability and being grounded, which Remus did give her *cries*

Thank you so much for the lovely review, and I'm honestly so so so glad you liked it!! This one is for you for being a wonderful staffer and an amazing friend!

XOXO
~Ysh


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Review #7, by Startafire The Unmarried Weasley

15th April 2016:
Hello lovely! Here for the review swap, sorry it's delayed!

Now first can I just die from the way you write. Everything about it is intriguing and immaculate! It genuinely reminds of the way JK Rowling writes herself. I would go as far as saying it was like I was reading a canon short story she wrote, this piece is just that good!

Now I love Remus and Tonks, they are my ultimate otp, and never have I given Charlie and Tonks much thought. But bloody hell I think you are converting me!

The beginning of the chapter had me in complete awe. I just love mama Weasley and her overbearing love for her children. The way you wrote her was simply heartwarming! My favourite part has to be when Charlie mentions Slytherins being evil, not the right move buddy! This did make me chuckle!

At forth year you just had my heart breaking! That kiss! And he called her pretty! Your words flow so nicely as well, I really couldn't stop reading till I got to the end. I even found myself clapping when they became friends again. You truly have captured Tonks sense of character really well, I love your version of her and if you ever decide to write a Tonks story then please let me know!

So you've done, you've actually gone and changed my otp. You make Charlie and Tonks work so well that I'm beginning to question Remus and herself!

I really don't know what to say know because I know I'll just gush on and on about my love for this piece. It's captivating, heart breaking and warming all in one! I've favourited it and my god, I even read it a second time.

Thank you for the amazing read!

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Review #8, by victoria_anne The Unmarried Weasley

15th April 2016:
YSH! ♥

Hello my lovely!

Argh where do I even start! Okay okay, I LOVE this pairing. Every story I read is slowly making me ship them, like, so hard, and this story has just sealed the deal, yo. Fo' shizzle.

You've packed so much personality into Charlie and Tonks. You wrote Tonks so freaking well (and I'm a Hufflepuff, I should know). Charlie too, of course (with Quidditch and magical creatures), but I have to say that Tonks really shone for me in this story.

Must be a Puff thing. Works like a magnet, that.

Eee! Seventh year, though!

*fans self*

I love the passion! (Hey, not that kind of passion! ... Okay, that too) Tonks really cares for him, without Charlie even really knowing!

And Lupin at the end ♥ I like how her feelings for Charlie never really went away, but Tonks and Lupin 5ever (now I'm confused, dang it!)

My favourite thing about this is that you showed us snippets of every single year. I can't even tell you how much I love that. We watch them grow, deal with problems, see their relationship develop and witness them coming to term with their feelings.

...Okay, one more favourite thing.

I love how you ended each scene in a similar fashion. It really tied the story together and showed how Charlie was feeling about Tonks. It was just perfect ♥

ALL THE HUGS FOR YOU

Love B

♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: B!!! *hugs*

I am so horribly late at replying to this. I am so excited you decided to stop by (and transfer to HPFT).

I didn't really ship Charlie/Tonks until I wrote this fic myself! Unfortunately, my love for canon, I had to break them up.

I am so honored you like the way I wrote Tonks, coming from a Hufflepuff that does mean a lot! Charlie was relatively easy as I've spent a lot of time thinking about different types of Gryffindor boys, but the challenge was writing Tonks through Charlie's eyes.

Haha, yes, there is some magnetism about the Puffs


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Review #9, by dreamgazer220 The Unmarried Weasley

14th April 2016:
YSH. Ysh, I can't even begin to describe how much I loved this. Honestly, I never really thought about Tonks/Charlie as a pairing before, but I love it, and I love the way you write them.

From the beginning, I felt like we were back in the books because your language and characterization are on-point. I loved reading the span of the years, from Tonks/Charlie's first meeting as scared, timid first years to the last scene as mature adults who had loved, and to see the evolution of their characters along the way.

Both of your dialogue and your description are just so beautiful, ugh. I loved seeing Charlie there supporting her, and their fight sixth year was just so heartbreaking to read. But her coming back to him and wanting to be friends "or something, maybe" was fantastic and it just felt so in character and so Tonks.

And then they got together! I loved the way you wrote it, with them already established but we could see it happening over the years, Charlie's affection and feelings folding out over the screen. I was really hoping they were going to make it, but then they fought again! This time about something a lot more serious, their future- it didn't surprise me at all, it just made so much sense that they both wanted different things. And I wanted to shake Charlie, of course she wanted to spend a future with him! I mean, who wouldn't?!

I also loved, loved, LOVED that you ended each section with "Nymphodora Tonks was" and then something to describe her after that scene. It really showed the growth of their relationship and how she evolved through Charlie's eyes, and I really loved it.

And Charlie was going to propose?! :( You WANTED to break my heart, didn't? I know you did, ugh.

Because that last scene killed me. I mean, kudos to Charlie for being accepting about Tonks/Remus because he knew her so well, and it was an amazing way for you to come flying back into canon with ease.

So, I really, really loved this. This piece was so lovely all around and the writing was amazing, thank you so much for sharing this with me!

Good luck with the challenge, and thanks for the swap!

♥ Jill

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