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Reading Reviews for Incandescence
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dojh167 Boom

19th April 2017:
Hufflepuff CtF Review

I was just saying I need to seek out more Pery stories for CtF! I had a moment of hope that since this was for the Guilty Pleasures challenge it might be light-hearted, but nope. Ah well.

I really like that you chose to explore Percy as a character with PTSD. I don’t think a lot of people would think of him as someone who was hugely impacted by the war, since he did very little fighting and only joined in for the final battle, but that does not mean he would be less affected, especially since he saw his brother die there.

I have always been made very uncomfortable by fireworks, so while your descriptions of them do make me feel on edge, I’m not sure what reaction a reader with “normal” fireworks feelings would have.

Aww, I love that the fireworks are all spontaneous creations of George to amuse little Fred.

Yikes, I heavily relate to Percy using workaholism to try to drown out trauma related thoughts.

I wonder if the others know that he has this response to fireworks. I imagine they’d be very understanding and accommodating, but I can also see Percy being too proud to admit it and the others assuming that he was just shutting himself away as typical no-fun Percy.

While this wasn’t a happy story, I think you did a good job with it and I’m always glad to see Percy getting some well rounded attention in stories.

Sam.

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Review #2, by MuggleMaybe Boom

19th April 2017:
Hello dear! I'm here for CTF Game #5 =)

I already feel excited about this story for two reasons. One is that I know how brilliantly you address PTSD, because your challenge entry for my microfiction challenge was about that. And also, my childhood best friend's father couldn't go to the fireworks on July 4th because he is a Vietnam vet and it triggered PTSD for him. So this is a theme close to my heart.

At the very beginning of this, I was focusing on George and it was so happy. He's having fun with his son and he seems happy, and that was really lovely. But then you shift away from the to Percy. I think the contrast makes it even more painful to see him suffering, because I think in these cases there's always a sense of being at fault for your response. ie, "why am I struggling with this? He's fine. She's fine. Everyone is fine, except me. What is the matter with me?" At that is obviously not how anyone deserves to think about his/her self, but it still happens a lot and you've sort of touched on that without explicitly mentioning it.

You characterize Percy PERFECTLY. His attempt to ignore his trauma by focusing on work, but then being frustrated that he isn't meeting his own work standards, is just so utterly in character. I sometimes think that's why he made the choices he did at the start of the war - because facing things head on was too traumatic, so he through himself into achievement and career.

When I read the line "every single one of them was full with several bodies", I thought right away of bodies in the Great Hall, so I was really excited when I saw you make that connection later. Very well foreshadowed!

And when Percy says it should have been him who died. Oh, my heart. *hugs Percy*
I understand that feeling, but nevertheless it's so heartbreaking to read about someone feeling that way. I think that sort of pain and grief and guilt is the worst feeling there is.

I do have one bit of CC< because I know you're a committed enough writer to be interested -

You've done a wonderful job of *showing* how Percy feels in this story, and then in this sentence you come out and say so bluntly that he began to break down. As a reader, this took me out of the story a little. I think you could remove that sentence entirely and it would be fine, or you could add in more details to show him breaking down. I know 'show don't tell' is cliche and not always useful as a writing tip, but I do think it applies here.

Anyway, that very small thought aside, this was brilliant, as usual. I was looking forward to leaving you a CTF review at last, and you did not disappoint!

xoxo Renee

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Review #3, by nott theodore Boom

4th April 2017:
Kaitlin! ♥ I told you I'd be coming to attack your AP soon and so please consider this the start of it, since you deserve lots of love for your stories (and also have the added bonus of being in the same house and therefore not preventing me from helping our house haha).

Anyway, I spotted this on your page and couldn't get past the Percy part. I find Percy such an intriguing character, and there really isn't enough written about him. Plus the focus on PTSD is really, really important to explore and I always find it so interesting to think about how different characters would try and deal with the effects and memories of the war.

The way you used fireworks here was so clever. I know there are some people who are scared of them (and obviously a lot of animals are) but they so often represent celebration and fun. For Percy they represent exactly the opposite of that, and you showed that so well with this story - every action of his seemed to shine with how tense he was about what was going on outside as he tried desperately not to relive everything that it brought back.

As a slight aside, I thought it was really interesting that George was the one who was conducting the fireworks display, and that he could enjoy them with his family - especially so since they were his invention with Fred. That served really well to highlight the fact that not everybody reacts the same way to trauma and everyone processes it differently. That's such an important message - there is no normal when it comes to things like this.

The descriptions of how Percy was reacting to the fireworks, and the memories that the fireworks evoked for him were heartbreaking. They were just so vivid, and I felt so sorry for Percy - it's not often that you want to reach out and give him a hug, but you've succeeded here. This is definitely one of those times.

It's so difficult for him that every aspect of the fireworks causes him to relive the trauma of the battle of Hogwarts. The colours showing him all the spells and curses that were fired, the noises and explosions taking him back to relive the very moment of Fred's death. I can't even imagine how awful that must be for him, and to have to deal with that all the time.

Part of me wanted to shout at him that he didn't need to feel guilty - there was nothing that he could have done differently, and it wasn't his fault. I know it wouldn't help, but I felt so bad for him that he was carrying that guilt around and feeling like he was to blame, and that he should have died in his brother's place. But I think you communicated some of the major aspects of PTSD brilliantly with this story - in something that just seems such a simple moment to most of us, but is actually terrifying and too real for the person suffering. That's brilliant to read ♥

Sian :)

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Review #4, by AlwaysAddicted Boom

4th December 2016:
This was amazing. So sad. Yet, so beautiful. My heart hurt for Percy, his pain was written so well. The thought of the whole family being outside happily enjoying the fireworks together while he was taking a break down inside was heart breaking. I wanted someone to come in and find him and comfort him. Loved it. xx

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Review #5, by PaulaTheProkaryote Boom

20th June 2016:
You know, I can’t remember the last time I’ve read something about Percy. I know by the summary this one is going to make me sad though. Is this going to make me sad?

What a powerful story. I like that you chose to highlight PTSD and the traumas of war. People forget how much it can haunt those that fight. In our neighborhood, though legal to set off fireworks, no one does for that same reason. We have too large of a military community. Those that want to see them just go to public displays instead.

All was not well after the war. It couldn't be. War destroys people, even if they seem fine. It's hard to remember that he lost a brother too, because I always dissociate Percy from the family.

This line was incredibly powerful: “I’m so sorry, Fred,” he mumbled under his breath, like a mantra. “I should’ve saved you. It should’ve been me. No one would’ve missed me.”

I think you did a great job capturing the mood of someone struggling with something like this and also of devastating my soul. The only thing I could hope for is that one holiday someone notices and stays with him instead.

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Review #6, by alicia and anne Boom

22nd May 2016:
This is going to make me sad isn't it? I can tell by the summary... I need to prepare and hope that this has a happy ending. :P

I do love how you've described the beauty of the fireworks, I can just imagine them and I'm sad because I don't have them in my life :(

Aw I love how you've compared George to a maestro leading the orchestra, and how he's doing it all to please his son. It's so sweet. Maybe this story won't make me sad :D There's such happiness already.

Oh no, and here comes the sadness :( I just want to hug him and make it all better. I never once thought about how this was going to affect them all after the war. I want to cry from what he imagines when the fireworks go off :( I wish that I could take that pain from him.

This one shot is so sad, and devastating. Thank you for writing this, you've done a wonderful job, and it's easy to see how well you know the subject.

Such a wonderful one shot *hugs*

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Review #7, by Gabriella Hunter Boom

30th April 2016:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums stopping by with the first review for our swap!

Thanks so much for agreeing to read some of my stuff! Also, I hope that you're doing much better. :)

Oooh, this story is about Percy. You have no idea how quickly I clicked on this! I am going through a Percy thing right now and I love reading stories about him, you hardly ever see him on the archives.

I really, really love that you've chosen to use PTSD for this story. That's really not something that we see a lot of and we certainly hardly ever see it with Percy. I know that quiet a few people don't like his character but I always wondered what it must have been like for him after the War.

I'm pretty sure that he would have been pretty broken up afterwards because he was there when Fred died. What's very great in this story is that you start this story off on such an innocent note. You can practically feel all the love during the firework scene and get a really good idea of how far the family has come.

I wasn't sure what role Percy would play in this but I think you did a nice job in your introduction of him. It seems such a typical Percy-like thing to do, having him struggling to get paperwork done. I like that you added some subtle things about his PTSD, from the lack of concentration to the difficulty he was having writing.

I've never actually seen fireworks used as a trigger before but it really makes a lot of sense. I'm sure that the boom and crack of them would be similar to spells, not to mention the colors.

Each boom was perfectly linked to Percy's distress and the moment when he finally broke down was written powerfully. I got worried and thought that he might take too much of that potion, especially after he blames himself for Fred but the ending still left me sad.

I was hoping that someone was going to walk in and help him but the fact that he was alone in such a vulnerable state really made his PTSD seem more real. I think that you did a brilliant job with this piece and more people should read it. It's tastefully done and sheds light on an issue that I don't think people are ready to see.

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #8, by looneylizzie Boom

28th April 2016:
Kaitlin!

I’m here for the 2nd of your review prizes for the Name that Fandom Challenge!!

Can I just state that I kind of love the fact that your guilty pleasure is stories about characters that were affected by the war? And I say this sincerely… I think it’s wonderful that you read, write and encourage others to write about such a difficult topic, one that really deserves more attention in fiction (and in general).

Although I don’t think I’d call it a ‘guilty’ pleasure. I don’t think you need to be guilty about it at all. ;)

Anyway, you’ve once again brought me to tears. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!?!

Poor Percy! He’s sitting all alone in his room, going reliving such a painful moment in his life all by himself while the rest of his FAMILY is outside having fun! I can’t even imagine how that must feel… to be completely surrounded by people and yet so alone at the same time.

The way that you’ve described both the fireworks and what Percy was seeing is so vivid and immediately paints a picture that at first seems innocent and fun, then dark and painful. The descriptions were so good that I felt like I started to see (and even hear!) what Percy was reliving, which made it all the more painful to read, and by the end I wanted more than anything for the fireworks to stop so that he could have some peace and for someone to realize that he was hurting and come and help him.

But no one came! *sobs*

I’ve never been a huge Percy fan, and this is the first time I’ve read a story that’s made me truly start to sympathize with him. He definitely doesn’t deserve to be alone while dealing with something like this, and all I want to do is just give him a giant hug.

*HUGS*

Then, just when I thought it couldn’t get any more painful, you go and write this;

“I’m so sorry, Fred,” he mumbled under his breath, like a mantra. “I should’ve saved you. It should’ve been me. No one would’ve missed me.”

WHY, KAITLIN, WHY?!

Watch where you step, ‘cause you’ve SHATTERED MY HEART INTO A MILLION PIECES AND NOW IT’S ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!

I mean, c’mon! — ”No one would’ve missed me.” — HAVE YOU NO PITY?!

The worst part is, I know that there are people who truly think this way about themselves, and that breaks my heart. Everyone deserves to live, and no one deserves to feel that way.

Kaitlin, you’ve done an excellent job with this story (and crushing my heart), and I’m truly glad that you’ve added another amazing story to The After Effects Verse.

I’m off to leave you some MTA questions now, and I’ll be back later this weekend to R&R your Demotivator Challenge entry!!

Keep writing Kaitlin!!
Lizzie

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