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Reading Reviews for always
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Katieroselizzy me and you

23rd October 2016:
I absolutely love this! I love how raw it is. It is like reading a beautiful piece of poetry and completely sums up Snape & Lily.

Author's Response: THANKYOUSOMUCH! ♥

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Review #2, by writeyourheartout me and you

1st September 2016:
Oh, Em. Wow.

As someone who quite recently had a falling out with a really good friend, this story really hit hard. Not just because it was so relateable, either, but because it was so perfectly written.

I love how everything is laid bare here. It's such a stripped down story that relies solely on true, raw emotions, and works so perfectly as is, without anything else to detract from it. I find stories written this way, without flowery descriptions or dialogue or action to fall back on, can often times tend to feel as though they're trying too hard to force these emotion, but you found that sweet spot right from the top and just lived there the whole way. Hard to do, I've found, so many kudos to you.

This line here made me catch my breath: I have things to say to you; things I want to tell you and then I catch myself because I almost do, but then I realise that it doesn’t work that way anymore. And that’s because I may be not quite as important to you as I thought I was. - Ugh. This is exactly how I've felt the past few weeks. Seeing it written this way just took my breath away.

And this one, too: I am not completely lost without you and you look perfectly fine without me. - You learn to survive, and you even realize you can be pretty okay, but it still hurts - especially when they seem perfectly okay.

I don't mean to quote so much back to you, but those lines just resonated and I don't really have the words to express it otherwise.

And then the ending. The repeating apologies that cover every contradicting thought - should have done more, should have done less, is there any winning here - was just so powerful. The whole thing was painful and heartbreaking, but it was those closing lines that made my eyes well up. Cause you always wish you'd done something... better; whatever that may have been. Even looking back on it later, it can still be impossible to know if saving things ever could have been an option.

There was one tiny typo here: "Sometimes, you wondered why *were friends at all..." - we were

I'm sorry this review isn't longer, like mine usually are, but I'm a little lost for words. I hope you'll take that as a testament to your writing. It's absolutely beautiful.

Thank you for this.

Tanya

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Review #3, by celticbard me and you

25th August 2016:
Hi pointlessproclaimations!
To be completely honest, I read this story while listening to Ombra Mai Fu by Handel which made it about ten times more intense. I was nearly crying at the end, which I guess is a very good thing, considering the nature of this piece. ;)

Anyway, onto the review. Let me tell you first, this story is different. And I mean that as a serious compliment, because you've created something that almost reads like a prose poem. Your use of repetition as a literary device (one of my faves, actually) is absolutely magnificent. For example, this sentence, “In the end, I don’t even know if you’d let me apologise because I am sorry. I am sorry for so many things. I am sorry I was your first friend. I am sorry that we were ever friends.” your continued use of “I'm sorry” just works so well. It brings the reader full circle, while at the same time, it continues to deeply explore Snape's true feelings regarding Lily Evans.

And that's another thing I'd like to mention, your characterization. It's incredible. Spot-on, really. The way you explain Snape's deepest fears, his failings, his hopes and his reaction to not having Lily in his life is nothing short of elegant. Like I mentioned before, this piece has all the eloquence of a prose poem and it even follows a very distinct pattern. There is clearly a beginning, a middle and an end. Snape describes his history with Lily much like you would in any story. He starts with mentioning that they were each others first friends (the beginning) and then goes on to detail how their relationship fell apart (the middle) and finally, he tells us where they have both ended up and summarizes his feelings for Lily in that heart-breaking last line (the end). What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that this piece has an excellent flow to it, which is very hard to accomplish in a story written in this particular style. (By the way, I'm just curious, did you write this as a stream-of-conciousness piece?)

Well, if it isn't obvious through my painfully rambling review, I really love this piece. Thank you so much for sharing it with us! I look forward to reading more of your work. :)

Best,
Lee Anne

Author's Response: Handel?! Brilliant. That would do it.

Oh my goodness, Lee Anne, I must tell you: I rarely write sad/angst/anything within this genre. I very nearly didn't post it because of how uncertain I was about it (which is saying something considering how uncertain I am about the majority of my writing that I post anyway).

Repetition and a near-prose poem style seemed the most natural way for this to flow. I think it added a coherence to what would otherwise seem rambling. Thank you for your compliments 'absolutely magnificent' ?!?! My ego cannot take this.

Regret of action and inaction simultaneously is a complex thing that miraculously made sense within this story which, at the time of writing it, to me, made sense because I suppose I kind of felt this, in a much less exaggerated, less poetic, less dramatic, less romantic sort of way. Writing this out was a way of making sense of these contradictory thoughts. Some part of me still wonders how I managed to get this to work. It feels almost like it was a fluke because it wasn't planned. Yes, it was, in the beginning, a stream-of-conciousness piece I refined to characterise the exact nature of Lily and Severus's relationship--or at least my perception of it.

I am thrilled you are finding the flow and the perceived beginning, middle, and end of all of this. Part of me is thrilled that you're finding this has 'excellent flow,' but another is saying that it's a pure fluke. XD I put all the angst into this and it's depleted my capacity for more, I believe.

I equally love this review which isn't painful in the least. ♥ Why are you thanking me for sharing it? I am thanking you for reading it and leaving this gorgeous review that makes me want to write again because you make me believe I can again and that's invaluable.

Cheers,
Em


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Review #4, by victoria_anne me and you

23rd August 2016:
I'm not crying, YOU'RE CRYING.

I was blown away by this. I didn't really know what to expect when I clicked on it. At first I was moved by this internal monologue, and then I reached the picture down the end and *DEAD*

Seriously, I go from reading your hilarious case study, and then BAM, you hit me with this masterpiece!

I like how they both had their flaws and their relationship wasn't perfect. They're human, and that's life, and that's why this story works so well, I feel.

Like, I really really feel.

*sniff*

Thou art an incredibly versatile author-eth.

Lots of love, and have you tried turning it off and on again?

♥ B

Author's Response: Hahahaha!! I adore this.

Thank you so, so much. Thank you immensely. I am thrilled that you are moved by this internal monologue (I do love my internal monologues, given that I've written a 4 part series on it). That aside, I barely write anything remotely angsty because I don't know how, but I suppose it bothered me enough that people thought that Snape thought that Lily was perfect. I don't think that Snape was like that--Snape, to me, is more analytical, rational, and realistic. He must have known Lily wasn't perfect and known all the ways that she wasn't--Snape's not one to be blind to these things I don't think. I mean, to have known her for all that time, to be so close to her for so long is to have recognised and understood her flaws. To love her even in light of those flaws, I think, is stronger than an idealisation. I think that sort of unconditional love for a reality was more likely as well as more substantial than being blindly in love with an idea. I'm rambling.

I am humbled for you to call this a masterpiece and for you to 'really really feel.' It's a new thing for me--or was. Of course, when I say 'humbled,' I mean that my head is ginormous right now. Thanks for that.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!!

Always, B, always on and off again. This is terrific, you're terrific.


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Review #5, by alicia and anne me and you

23rd May 2016:
At the beginning I really didn't know who this could be, I tried to think but it could have been just about anyone. I loved how it fit so well with quite a few characters. Could it be Severus? Could it be Lily? Sirius? James? Peter?


Ahhh it's Severus! I should have know!

Wow, this was so well written, and you've done such a good job at describing a friendship that quite possibly shouldn't have been but worked for the moment. How he still cared even if there were times that Lily didn't, or vice-versa.

Brilliant! :D

Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you and a massive CONGRATULATIONS on achieving your goal! I am so proud of you! ♥

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Review #6, by TreacleTart me and you

22nd May 2016:
Hey Em!

Erm...Tag...You're it! Here to leave you a gift for Meg's lovely activity. :)

So I have to say straight away that one of the things I loved so much about this story was how ambiguous the voice was in the first half. As I was reading this I couldn't decide if it would be Lily or Snape who was speaking. I think around mid way through that changed and I was convinced that it was Snape, but that momentary doubt was a cool effect.

I really liked how thoughtful and contradictory you made Snape. I always thought he'd be the type to over analyze everything in his head and this really illustrates that. I could see him regretting becoming friends with her, not because he didn't love their friendship, but because he had to give it up.

And one of my favorite things about this is that he didn't see everything as perfect. He loves her, but he can still acknowledge that there were some fatal flaws between the, which is something that almost always seems to get skipped over in fanfiction. Everyone writes Snape as this love stricken person who completely idealizes Lily, but you've actually made him seem more real and lifelike by doing the opposite. His doubts and concerns make his love for her all the more poignant. He loves her in spite of it all, not because he thinks she's some perfect person.

Also, this might be an odd thing to comment on, but I really liked that you put the chapter image at the end of the story. It added to the ambiguity at the beginning and added a touching note to the end.

As always, I'm so impressed with the concise way you say things when you write. You have such a very distinct style of writing that even if your name wasn't on it, I'm quite certain I could tell you wrote it regardless.

Good work!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Dearest Kaitlin,

This is one of the most in depth reviews I've ever received of my writing; your insight is remarkable and really did well to prove that all I had intended with this piece was coming off. Thank you so much for that! ♥ You completely understood what I was thinking as I wrote this--I adore that so, so much. You're right to recognise that Snape's perspective of Lily and what they had was over-idealised in the majority of pieces; to me, Snape wasn't like that--Snape's a bit more analytical, rational, and realistic than that. Lily couldn't have been perfect. To have known her for so many years, to be so close to her for that long is to have recognised and understood her flaws. To love her even in light of those flaws, I think, is stronger than an idealisation. I think that sort of unconditional love for a reality was more likely as well as more substantial than being blindly in love with an idea. In a way, this was an overly-exaggerated and more poetic interpretation of personal experience. Because of that, it makes it so much more meaningful to me that you've said everything you did. Thank you so, so much.

Not an odd thing at all--the chapter image placement was deliberate and functioned the way you thought it did. It worked with 'Stowaway,' so I thought I might try it again here. . .

That means so much to me that you think my writing is that distinct!! It was a hope of mine that this wouldn't come off as too rambling, given that this was supposed to convey a moment of clarity for Severus despite all those contradictory statements--contradictory statements that would be less true if they were more straightforward.

Kaitlin, this is genuinely one of the best reviews I have ever received--thank you again.

Cheers,
Em


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Review #7, by darkchakram me and you

15th May 2016:
Haunting but beautiful.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #8, by May me and you

18th April 2016:
That made me cry I loved it x

Author's Response: Tissue? Hugs?

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