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Reading Reviews for Rest in Pain
1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SiriusAura92 The Hidden Passage

21st April 2016:
Hi there,

Very interesting start! Draco's POV in particular was very entertaining to read though I would recommend not splitting POV segments up in future as it does tend to take your reader out of the action, into someone else's story and then have them thrown back to where they were in the first place.
E.g Do all of Draco's story for the chapter and then Hermione's.

I'd also recommend detailing your characters. You've introduced us to these clearly well thought out people but still have no clue what they look like.

That aside the detailing of your environments are quite nice, your writing is crystal clear and there are very few grammar mistakes from what I can see.

(Although you might want to look at "If he had und the door a year later...")

In all a good first chapter and I'll defo be reading more!
Well done!
SiriusAura92 :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I really appreciate your time. I'll consider not shifting the point of views on this next chapter and revise that typo. Thanks again for the input and nice words!

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