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Reading Reviews for Goodbye, James
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AbraxanUnicorn Lily

2nd March 2017:
Hello. Oh goodness, why did I pick such an anguishing story for BvB?!

Wow. They say as you're about to go, your life flashes before you, and this piece certainly reflects that notion. So much action and emotion packed into thirty seconds, but so convincingly done.

I could feel the fear, the tension, the sorrow, the resolve as Lily runs to save Harry. Gosh, it's so seamlessly written. It's so horrific and terrifying, yet so beautiful, all at once.

Seriously, really well done. It's such a clever, heart-rending piece of writing. I absolutely love it. Awesome stuff.

Brax X

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Review #2, by Shinicha Lily

16th September 2016:
Wow, okay ... when I read the description and then saw that the first chapter was "Lily" I couldn't possibly imagine what expected me. Was it really Lily Potter and how could she say goodbye when she died mere seconds after her husband?

But this chapter turned out ... beautifully and heart-wrenching. I don't know if the last things I'd think in such a situation would be of the past, if not the fear would erase any coherent thought. But Lily and James did have months to prepare for such a possibility, and they are Gryffindors after all!

The rhythm of the story fits the situation well - it is fast paced and not completely coherent, but stringent in the sense that those thoughts and memories important to her keep repeating themselves. They are artistically interrupted by the action-like scene that is playing out before Lily.

I believe in this sense that it is very close to how a desperate mind works.

You did incredibly well in managing to actually fill the gap of information that we have about James and Lily's relationship within her erratic thoughts and bringing the story to a close.

The way you write is heart-gripping, and the fact that it's written in the second-person POV makes the reading even more intense.

I thought there were a few very beautiful sentences that particularly stand out, this one especially: "But that was the maddening nature of James Potter. He could make you hate him so much that, next moment, you were desperately in love and didnít know if you were coming or going."

I don't know what the challenge was about, but this chapter definitely left me in a very emotional state even within this small word-count. I wouldn't know what to change about it.

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Review #3, by SilverMoonFairy Sirius

10th August 2016:
BvB! I'm not yet ready to tackle the monument that is 41 chapters of Actions Speak Louder That Words, so against my better judgement (because I remember what happened last time) I came back here. But it wasn't so bad this time. It doesn't hurt. I'm smiling.

I would like to read other stories concerning Sirius and what he did right after leaving Azkaban- I actually was going to write a one-shot myself as it pertains to my AU. I think this is very fitting, going to where James and Lily died and rather telling to Severus being there and very like Sirius to pull a prank on him. I wonder what he would think if he knew the truth about Severus.

It is a rather difficult thing to figure out- how do you honor someone that's gone? Further more, how do you do that after they've been gone for more than a decade? This little one-shot did a very good job, I think, of answering that question with Sirius. Do what James would have done.

-Liz

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Review #4, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Sirius

20th July 2016:
Bahahaha!! Oh my goodness, that was disgusting, but also the PERFECT sendoff for Sirius to give James! :P

I'll be honest, I was expecting this to be about the night that everything happened, but something you picked up on here was the fact that Sirius really didn't have TIME to grieve that night, he was too busy fighting and then getting put in Azkaban. Once again you've thought outside of the box here, and it makes complete sense that Sirius would stop by Godric's Hollow first - it's just my headcanon now.

This is a very sad chapter, but it's not really in Sirius' nature to be sad, so much as very angry and wanting revenge, and you showed that here beautifully. James would have wanted Sirius to have fun, and that's exactly what he did.

This is another fantastic piece, lovely, really.

Well done, and again, thank you SO much for donating to HPFF!

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Review #5, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Lily

20th July 2016:
*Wipes eyes* Wrong one! I picked the wrong one to read! *Sobs more*

I'm kidding, of course, but this really was SO heartbreaking! When I saw the chapter title I was kind of thinking that Lily didn't really have a lot of time to say Goodbye to James, and honestly I was hoping these goodbyes were maybe like.. for the weekend or something, not when James died. :P

But, even though there wasn't a lot of time for Lily to say goodbye, you packed SO much into those few moments - this is SO powerful! You addressed the fact that Lily didn't have long to say goodbye and she couldn't really even focus on her goodbye because she was trying to protect Harry.

That's something I hadn't really even though much about before - I guess I just focused on "Lily ran upstairs trying to save Harry", not "Lily was trying to save Harry and had to hear her husband die". You just completely brought that whole other element to it, and it's so sad! :(

I thought the part about Lily really not even being able to stand because of her grief was an amazing touch.

Well done, and I'm off to the next chapter now, though I have to admit I'm even more afraid of reading Sirius' goodbye now... :(

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Review #6, by toomanycurls Sirius

27th June 2016:
This chapter gutted me less than the first but it was still really powerful. I really like that you've decided to look at his goodbye after the escape from Azkaban instead of right after James' death. I've seen a lot of raw, coping with death fics for Sirius re James but this is very unique. It makes sense that grief would wait to truly find him until he has freedom -- especially as freedom to feel would have been key.

The flood of missed memories was hard but I'm glad he didn't just rethink old school memories (again, another way you've made this so unique from other grief stories with Sirius). Thinking through the future they lost shows that Sirius has matured and that he not only lost the opportunity to do fun adult things with his best friend, he lost hte opportunity to do them at all.

I felt his trick on Snape was the perfect way to express grief for James and a perfect nod to their school-age pranks on Snape. It was also a great touch to have Snape in Godric's Hollow still nursing his grief for Lily.

I didn't pay attention to whether this is complete but I hope you have more to come for this.

-Rose

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Review #7, by toomanycurls Lily

25th June 2016:
It's 2 am, Matthew and Julian are in bed and I'm here sobbing over Jily feels. Thanks, Beth. Thanks.

As a mom and a wife I related to this so hard. It's unbelievable how well you captured Lily's love for James (except that it isn't because it's you writing). Even her looking back at his annoying streak through school rang with their love. It kills me a little when she realizes she has a bit of James in Harry. Of course she'd realize that and try even harder to save her son. :'(

As I'm kind of morbid I've thought about the difficulty of explaining a family member who has passed away to one who wasn't alive during their life (or was too young to know them). I can't imagine doing someone justice in the span of a 40+ year run with the younger person let alone minutes. (Now I'm crying again.) Lily doesn't have time to say or think everything but what she does express is so essentially James and it's perfect.

Thank you for this!
-Rose

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Review #8, by SilverMoonFairy Lily

18th May 2016:
I picked the wrong story to BvB for. You have seriously depressed me and given me goosebumps, which is a strange sensation. Why do you have to be so mean? These are my feelings you're playing with.

Oh. Sigh. I can't say I haven't thought about writing something similar. You know it's good when it makes you want to curl into a ball and contemplate all the frivolous things you complain about on a daily basis.

That is to say, this is very good. VERY good. My heart was pounding the whole time as if I had never known about the death of Harry's parents.

Clever wording, by the way- "the Voldemort." Not many people know it's French for 'death flight.' I very much enjoyed the line.

You are a writer to watch. I hope you have original stories, because I think you would get published.

Have a wonderful day!

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Review #9, by TidalDragon Sirius

10th April 2016:
Hello again!

Having read the previous bit with Lily, I wondered if you would take a similar path with Sirius, having his thoughts occur just before falling through the veil, especially given that he confused Harry and James so soon before that moment.

However, this was much more real I felt and definitely refreshing. It fleshed out Sirius's character an thought processes at a time (love that he refuses to call Peter by his name here and only refers to him at The Rat) in his life that doesn't get a lot of focus in fic, but ultimately transitioned nicely to his "farewell" to his best friend/brother. And I LOVED the way he suddenly got the idea of how to pay tribute to James the moment he saw Snape. It injected some SIRIUS humor into an otherwise somber subject and I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Thanks for participating!

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Review #10, by TidalDragon Lily

10th April 2016:
Howdy Beth! I am here as I continue my quest to R&R all the Knockout Challenge participants and now I've reached you! Since you've got a multi-chapter fic I'll post shorter reviews on both chapters rather than just one big one - hope that's okay!

Now on to the substance! Believe it or not, I actually have not read a last-seconds-alive fic from Lily's POV before. I think that's not terribly surprising given the quotes we have from canon, but it left some ripe ground for you to explore and I thought it was neat to see what you did with it.

Stylistically, I enjoyed the way that your structure and sentence length married well with the fast pace imposed on you by the extremely condensed time-frame you were working with. One of my pet peeves is when people inexplicably elongate action/death scenes and I think it's a testament to you that you were able to avoid that while still covering everything you wanted.

Though it was obviously the point behind your concept, I also thought it was interesting to see what your idea of Lily's last thoughts on James would be. Like I mentioned before, canon plays out the whole "saving Harry" aspect pretty thoroughly, but even the most saintly parent would admit that in such a situation their spouse would HAVE to be on their mind as well. I thought what you hit was in character for Lily and also well-written enough to be high-impact despite the stakes that she was facing outside her head in the moment.

On to Chapter 2!

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Review #11, by May Sirius

2nd April 2016:
Not sure about the dog poo not one of my favourite experience treading in that but liked preading about Sirius

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Review #12, by May Lily

2nd April 2016:
I loved reading your story 2 of my favourite characters are James and Lily

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