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Reading Reviews for Untwine
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by navyfail Discipline

26th June 2016:
And I'm here with the last of your reviews!

I have to say that you're imagery is fantastic! And the way you wrote your kingdom setting AU is great! I love how you weave your way through your tale, going from the rising sun to the rat in the kitchen to Draco.

And Draco a prince! That's sounds quite scary. And I do think you go his character as well as the rest of the Malfoys characters down.

I really love how you tried to match the beginning of book one with the parts with Harry and the Dursleys. I couldn't help notice the fact that Dudley wanted more presents and then they went out to get him another one. It really did send me back in the time to those scenes.

Also I love how you include Sirius as his dog form and how Harry cares about him so much. Also I love the addition of Hogsmeade and the Forbidden Forest.

I'm not surprised Vernon traded Harry away. It reminds me how much I disliked the whole family in the book.

I like how you end the one-shot. It gives a sense of dread as well as hope which I think is a great way to close. Terrific AU!


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Review #2, by Dirigible_Plums Discipline

15th May 2016:

It's Plums here to review your entry for the AU Challenge. I was really drawn in by your summary - it's been ages since I've read a fairytale style AU and in light of the fact that I'm reading A Song of Ice and Fire, I'm in the mood for something like that. I didn't even realise that until I read this.

Speaking of which, I instantly had the Joffrey vibe off Draco. I could just tell that he wasn't a brilliant person - I mean, having numerous fools beheaded just because they're not entertaining you? The word "brat" now has a whole new level to it :P If you continue this on, I'd be really interested in seeing how his character develops. He's had everything handed to him on a plate so far - I wonder if that'll remain the case when Harry arrives?

HARRY. Oh my God, Harry - you wrote him so perfectly here! I'm in awe of how well you wrote him here, how you truly managed to capture his eleven year old self in his pre-Hogwarts days. A little rebellious, but ultimately keeps his head down. You translated him into this AU setting exceptionally well. In fact, that can be said for all of the characters - Draco, the King and Queen, Aunt Petunia, Dudley and Uncle Vernon. They all fit into this brilliantly.

Something I genuinely enjoyed was the way you included little snippets of canon. Like when the rat had his toe cut off or Sirius appearing to Harry. Small details like that are what truly make the fic.

My favourite part about this entire thing was your description. It was the first thing I noticed - as soon as I finished the first paragraph, I just knew that the rest of it would be up to the same standard. You start out strong and you remain that way throughout. The opening paragraphs were absolutely beautiful in their imagery.

I genuinely adore your turn of phrase. It really made me feel like I had been transported back in time and was written just like the historical fiction I've read. There were so many lines that I liked that it would be too much to list them all. I might as well copy and paste the entire thing haha!

There's one thing that I did notice, but I'm not even sure whether it's valid. A couple of times you used present tense ("As is customary of places where many bodies take up space, news and rumour spread like illness, often mistaken for each other.") but I've seen it done in some books so I'm not entirely sure that it's an issue. Just thought I'd mention it though!

Thank you for entering the challenge. This was such a wonderful read!

Plums xo

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