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12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Startafire Shaking

12th April 2016:
Hey! here from the forums for the review swap!

This is the first fanfiction I have read where it is in a slytherins point of view during the marauders time, and I can say I am pleasantly surprised.

Eve has a strong voice through out the chapter, and the way she is rather impudent towards other students and the marauders just shows us how much of a slytherin she truly is. Plus I love stories about veelas, so you definitely have me hooked there. It makes me curious whether or not she uses that side of her to get what she wants?

You began the chapter with a very intriguing opening that has me questioning whether or not it was just a dream? I surely can't wait to find out about Eve's past, I have a feeling it is very interesting!

You have a very intricate style to the way you write, and this is shown during your description of some scenes. It helps paint a precise image in my head that makes the chapter easy to imagine and the scenes just flow so nicely!

I will most definitely be keeping an eye out for future chapters and adding this to my reading list for sure!

Ella

Author's Response: Hello!
Thanks so much, that's really encouraging to hear :) I'm glad you liked Eve, and that you're interested to see what happens next! Chapter two is currently in beta so it shouldn't be too long to wait now :)
-Kate x


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Review #2, by EnigmaticEyes16 Shaking

10th April 2016:
Hi! I am here for the Slytherin Review Tag!

I am very intrigued by this chapter! The dream Eve had is very curious and I'm very anxious to know why she's having this dream and what it has to do with her being Slytherin royalty, and why she won't tell her brother about it...

I'm also very curious about Eve herself and how she seems to be in charge of the Slytherins. And I'm interested in how Sirius is constantly keeping an eye on her. I'm very curious to learn more about the two of them and their past in the upcoming chapters! I'm also very excited to see who wins the duel in the next chapter and what will happen afterward.

I also wonder how the Slytherins planned to use the poor little first year to get liquor from the Hog's Head.

This is a very interesting story so far! I do hope you update again soon so we can find out what happens next!

xxNix

Author's Response: Oh yay, hello!

I've really enjoyed thinking about little moments in Eve and Sirius's past, and I've got a few scenes already half written out, so you will be finding out eventually! Just hoping I can slip them in without making it too clunky, haha.

Thank you for your lovely words, I'm really excited to get the next chapter in the queue now, I'm just getting it checked over by a beta at the moment! :)

-Kate x


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Review #3, by dumbledore_wannabe Shaking

5th April 2016:
This looks like it could be headed somewhere quite interesting!

I have to admit, I came to read this because of your nick. Emotional Teaspoon - that cracked me up! Very clever!

Author's Response: Aww thank you, yours is pretty amusing too! :')

The next chapter is about 90% finished now.

-Kate :)


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Review #4, by Unwritten Curse Shaking

3rd April 2016:
Hi hun! Review swap time. :)

This Eve girl is ev-il. (Get it?) She's such a jerk and I just want to punch her in the face, BUT there's another side to her and that was shown in the first bit. She's caught up in something scary, so while most of me hates her, another part of me feels scared for her. I hope she'll be okay.

The contrast from the first bit to the bit with the marauders was hilarious. They always lighten the mood. :) I wonder what will happen as they continue interacting with the Slytherins. Will they somehow make peace? (And who will win the duel?)

I'd love to know more about how they became enemies. Did something happen between them? Or is it just a natural Gryffindor vs. Slytherin thing? Or maybe Sirius's family knows her family as part of the pureblood community. Were they ever friends? Did that fall apart when Sirius betrayed his family?

So curious!

--Gina

Author's Response: Eve-il, that made me giggle :')

I'm glad you liked the part with the marauders! You have lots of questions and the answer to some of them is yes, and some no, but I better not tell you which, haha.

Thank you for the lovely review, I'm glad I saw your status on the forums because I really enjoyed reading your work!

-Kate :)


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Review #5, by filledwithwonder Shaking

3rd April 2016:
Hi Kate! Here with your requested review :)

I enjoyed this read! I think you did a tremendous job hooking the reader with the dream. It did a great job at giving us just enough information to start speculating without actually giving anything away. I'd say all of the over the summer issues you've alluded to make the story itself quite strong and will keep the reader interested.

I'm interested in Eve's backstory and I think she has a strong voice. I do like that she is the ring-leader of the Slytherins - it makes her impending downfall that much farther. You can tell she really runs the show, from her friends to her brother. I would say to be careful moving forward - she has qualities that I think can become Mary Sue-ish should you not develop some flaws later on in the story. This isn't to say that I think you've created a Mary Sue, and I think you've done a good job at introducing Eve and her personality. I would just take care to make some of her flaws known to the audience as the story progresses. I think the more we see Eve beneath her icy Slytherin princess exterior, the easier it will be for hers and Sirius' relationship to make sense.

I really like how you switched to Sirius' POV as well! I hope you continue giving us glimpses into both of their POVs as the story continues. I think you characterized Sirius well from his comments with James as well as his protectiveness of the other Gryffindors from a group of people that he used to be associated with. I think you can really capitalize on that struggle with Sirius - there is an initial attraction to Eve, but their values are so different, how will Sirius get past that? How will Eve's values be changed by Sirius? That idea of blood status, values, and prejudice in your story is really quite unique.

I liked the cliff-hanger ending - I really have no idea what the outcome will be. You have a great handle on how to draw the reader in and keep them reading! :)

One of your areas of concern was the style and flow of your story. Firstly, I think you have a great voice as an author and I liked the style of the story. It was fast paced but gave us little snippets of a plot bigger than just Eve/Sirius which was really intriguing. Secondly, I love your dialogue. There were so many great one-liners, from Eve's dig at Avery to Sirius's threat to tell Lily about what James said. One thing I would mention: there are a few minor grammatical errors here and there. It's not a big deal and they are really minor and easy to fix. Everyone proof reads their own stories and inevitably misses a thing or two. I'd be happy to proof read for grammar if you need - sometimes an extra pair of eyes helps! :)

Overall, I think you put out a really strong introduction to your story. You've only scratched the surface, but enough to pull us in. Looking forward to read more!

-R

Author's Response: Thank you so much, this is such useful feedback! You're definitely right about Eve, this story is loosely based around something I thought of a long time ago, and flawless ice queen main characters were definitely (and probably still are) my guilty pleasure haha! So character progression and development has been something of a concern with this story, particularly as I'm setting myself a bit of a challenge to bring these two together, and I want it to happen in a believable, well-paced and interesting way.

Also, that's really kind of you to offer to proof read, I'll definitely take you up on that when I have the next chapter ready if that's ok! Annoyingly I keep writing bits and pieces of this story completely out of sequence haha, so its taking a while to progress chronologically :')

Thanks again, this review was such a pleasure to read!

-Kate :)


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Review #6, by Felpata Lupin Shaking

3rd April 2016:
Hi!
Here for your requested review!
(Sorry this took forever, by the way... I'm a bit slow, but I always come, sooner or later...)

Wow! This was really great! You have talent, my friend! ;)

The dream in the beginning was so scary! I'm not sure what's the meaning of it, but you really wrote it wonderfully, and it really made me shiver...

Also, I'm curious to know what happened during the summer and what she's hiding from her brother. Actually, I'll dare take a guess and say she got involved with the Death Eaters' activities somehow, but maybe I'm completely off track...

I liked how you wrote the group of Slytherins, by the way. They seemed an interesting bunch! ;) And I loved how she shut down Avery and his prejudiced comment. I don't know what are her ideas on the matter, but I still liked it!

James and Sirius were great!!! And it's so obvious that Sirius fancies her, even if he denies it! Ahahah! I loved when he menaced to tell Lily (by the way, does it mean James and Lily are already together?)

Mmmh... curious to assist to this duel... should be fun! I have no idea who might win, actually! :P

Really, I think you did a great job with this chapter, and I would really like to see more! :D Thanks for sharing!

Much love,
Chiara

Author's Response: Hello, Thank you for this wonderful review, you're too flattering!

I'm really glad you liked it, and don't worry you're not off track about what happened over summer, although I think things might get a little more complicated yet!

James and Lily might not be fully official right now, but they are verging on it I think! James has definitely realized that he doesn't want her thinking he fancies other girls in Slytherin, anyway haha.

Thanks again for your kind words, you made my day :) I'm working on the next chapter!

-Kate :)


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Review #7, by victoria_anne Shaking

1st April 2016:
Hello wonderful gorgeous Kate!

Welcome back to the writing world! We missed you! But you had nothing to fear, my friend - this is amazing.

Oooh you hooked me from the get go! Who -? Wha -? Eh -? MUST READ ON!

So Eve, our wonderful main character, is friends with people who go on to be Death Eaters! That's a very different perspective... Me likes. Yet their characters still hold that personality we know later. They sneer. That's classic Slytherin.

Hellooo James and Sirius!! (Sorry, I have a bit of an obsession with them at the moment. *cough* I mean all the time)...

Hm just what has happened between Eve and Alexander? Questions, mysteries... Oh, you.

OH GOD WHAT you can't just leave it there you evil person! I want to see the duel!! Curses. You've sucked me in.

So a great start to this story - I have questions. Many questions. And again, I love the POV you tell it in. Eve is just so Slytherin, and yet I'm rooting for her. Man, I can't wait to see her and Sirius in action!

... (I mean the duel, of course)

♥ Bianca

Author's Response: Aw, thank you for this wonderful review Bianca! It's really encouraging to hear that you're interested, and that you like the characters so far! Don't worry, I definitely have a bit of an obsession with James and Sirius too, hehe. I'm going to try and keep updating regularly so hopefully I'll see you back here sometime! :D

Thanks again for your lovely words! -Katy


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Review #8, by adluvshp Shaking

30th March 2016:
Hey there =)

This seems like a very interesting story! A romance/friendship between Sirius Black and a Slytherin OC - now this should be very interesting indeed. Your premise is unique and I already like how you've set things in the picture.

You've built some solid base for the plot right from the beginning itself which is great to draw in readers like myself. I am curious to know what happened to Eve, the whole Obliviate thing and if it's that she's hiding from her brother - the whole thing seemed shady and I'm excited to see how that shapes up in the chapters to follow.

I love Eve's characterisation so far - she's the perfect Slytherin. Cunning, determined, ambitious, manipulative but she doesn't seem to be cruel, so that's good. Sirius is portrayed well too and I'm looking forward to seeing his relationship with Eve develop. The way their two personalities would clash and blend - definitely an interesting idea.

Your dialogue and descriptions are overall nice and the narrative had a smooth flow. Great going and do keep writing =)

Cheers
Angie (Lose Muse)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm really glad you liked it so far, and that you're interested to see what's going on! I was quite worried about getting Eve's character right, so I'm really glad you liked her too!

Thanks for taking the time to review, it means a lot! :)

-Kate x


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Review #9, by TheGirlWithThePinkBeret Shaking

30th March 2016:
Hey! Good start with this story! Really promising start, can't wait to read more chapters. Evan and Sirius love triangles always make for the best stories!

Good luck with the rest, can't wait for more! X

Author's Response: Thankyou sweetie! :) x

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Review #10, by dreamgazer220 Shaking

29th March 2016:
Hi there! Stopping by for our review swap :)

First of all, welcome to the forums! I was immediately intrigued by your summary, and your first chapter didn't disappoint me at all. You have a very strong, promising start here. You kept a great pace and introduced several characters without it being overwhelming.

I really love Eve's character already. I like that she's a strong female lead, and her voice is already clear. She knows who she is and she owns it, but I'm a sucker for strong females with a dark past, and she seems to have something that's weighing on her shoulders. You did a really great job with that balance in this chapter, not letting others around her know her weakness but also letting the reader know that something is going on in Eve's head.

Your first few paragraphs were really strong, and I'm VERY curious to find out more about what happened over the summer, assuming that it's related to her dream/memory. :)

I did notice a few grammar things, but nothing super major that either a beta or another read through wouldn't catch. It did read very well and I think I already mentioned that you had a great pace.

I was a little confused when you jumped right into Sirius' POV about halfway since the rest of the chapter is in Eve's, but I really liked seeing that scene as well and the way you wrote James and Sirius was great and believable. I hope we get to see more of Sirius' POV because I'd like to see what you do to flesh him out.

Eve and Sirius are going to have a great dynamic between them, I can tell already! I also really loved the way you wrote the Slytherins interactions with each other, you did a great job with that as well.

Overall, a really strong start and I really enjoyed it! I hope we get to do another swap in the future!

~Jill

Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely feedback! I'm thinking about getting a beta so hopefully that will stop me from missing any more grammar errors. Maybe I should have made it a littler clearer when I switched to Sirius's POV as well, although I'm glad you liked it!

It's really encouraging to hear that you're curious about what happened over summer too!

Thanks for reviewing, I'd be happy to do another swap when I have the next chapter up :)

-Kate


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Review #11, by AdinaPuff Shaking

29th March 2016:
Hi!

A few things:

1. Love the face claim for Sirius on your banner. Ian Somerhalder is my husband... In my dreams... :p

2. Ugh I'm a sucker for these stories. Evan Rosier and Sirius Black are hands down my favorites to write and create. Which honestly idk why I don't have fics about them. But I do love them so I cannot wait to see your twist!

3. If you ever need a beta, you know where to find me! ;)

Okay. So I loved this! Dark OC/Sirius are my favorites to read and you didn't fail me at all! Absolutely love your twist so far. I love how a female holds so much power. It was hard back then for a woman to gain all that power, and as a feminist I applaud the strong female character. Very well written so far. She's scary and intimidating and ice cold, and I cannot wait to see how Sirius will make her crack. The downfalls are always my favorite to read because usually, the downfall is actually them escaping from the evil. Ugh love the plot so much, I can't wait for more!

- Leigh xx

Author's Response: Hello! This is so lovely! :)

Thanks for the compliment on the banner, I made it myself, Ian Somerhalder is also a HUGE crush of mine haha. And I think I might drop you a message on the forums for some advice in that case!

These comments have made me so happy! I'm really glad Eve came across that way, I just hope I can take her character to where she needs to be over the course of the story! :)

Thanks so much!

-Kate


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Review #12, by alicia and anne Shaking

29th March 2016:
Hello, hun! I am here for our swap :D I am excited to start reading this, I am a lover of all things Sirius and I can tell that I'm going to love this one.

Wow, you've started this quite deeply and I can't help but worry about them being obliviated and hurt. :(

It's someone she knows? This makes me sad and so worried about why this is happening :(

You've done such a brilliant job at writing the pain and hurt she's going through.

Can I hug her and make everything better? I feel like she needs a big hug and to be taken away from all the pain in her life!

I absolutely adore that she's Slytherin royalty, stories like this are my ultimate guilty pleasure so I am so happy that I'm reading it :D You've done an absolutely wonderful job and this, and your writing is so fantastic!

I love how you've written the Slytherins and their friendships, the way they are around each other.

There's going to be a party and I'm so excited!! I can't wait to see how this pans out :D Although I'm so intrigued as to why her little brother isn't talking to her.

Ahh! Her and Sirius are going to duel and it's going to be epic!

I can't wait to read the next chapter, this one was brilliant!!

Author's Response: Aw yay! Thanks so much, I really wasn't sure how I'd done on this chapter so it means a lot to hear such positive feedback! :)

The whole story is pretty much a guilty pleasure of mine too, so I hope I can manage not to make it too cliche!

I'm glad I've got you interested in what's going on, all will be revealed eventually! I think it might be difficult balancing the darker elements of the story with the humor and romance I want to add too, but we'll see how it goes!

Thanks so much for your kind review! :)


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