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Reading Reviews for Fading Into the Beyond
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TidalDragon Fading Into the Beyond

28th March 2016:
Howdy! Now that your opponent posted their entry too, I'm here getting a jump on things!

First and foremost, I thought this was quite an interesting take on the prompt. It being set in "the beyond" and so focused on Harry, but then also on Lily's relationship with James it was an interesting reflection on different kinds of connections and different ways they can be severed.

Lily's voice in the story was unique too. At first I wondered who was talking because they came across as both observant and instructive and when it became clear it was Lily in P3, I thought it certainly fit her in some respects, though in others it felt strange to me - though in the end I equated this with the eventual "lonely closeness" she discovered after death that gave her a lot of time to simply "ponder" as she said.

When we reached the end, you also managed to deliver a final message about connection, but also to close on an note of delightful ambiguity. Tellingly, we don't hear what happened once Voldemort was defeated - what become of Lily's hopes for she and James. I thought it was fitting giving the drifting uncertainty that characterized the piece.

Thanks so much for participating and sharing this story with us!

Author's Response: Hey Kevin!
Thank you so much for this review! I'm glad you enjoyed this story. I really enjoyed competing in this challenge, thank you for hosting it.

-Panda


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Review #2, by Lady Asphodel Fading Into the Beyond

26th March 2016:
It's so great how you explored the feelings of James and Lily, and you did it really well through her point of view. :)


From moments of her thoughts on how James persistence and his gradual change for her to fall in love with him... the foundation of their relationship. ♥


I also really like the way you had James and Lily watch over Harry as he grew up. They feel the injustice he had to go through like being with his aunt, uncle, cousin. Harry having to put up with Snape's bullying... His good moments, when you talked about Remus and Sirius.

I thought and wished you'd have explored maybe their feelings, particularly James when Harry and Remus first thought that Sirius was the traitor, but later learned that he was in fact innocent. It's just me though. It's not really essential anyway.

Even so, I ended up thinking it was best you didn't because I slowly started understanding where you were going with how living 'beyond' feels for them. I felt their attentiveness... but then their withdrawal, which saddened me, even though their feelings for each other was there yet absent at the same time.


Wow... the ending... you broke my heart a little. The title of this is very fitting, and you did a really great job writing this!

I'm happy you were able to write this completely, even though in your Author's Note, you were saying you were struggling with it. Good luck with the challenge by the way!


- LA

Author's Response: Hello LA!
Thank you so much for reviewing my story! I understand what you are saying with adding more feelings to parts. I was contemplating that myself and decided not to, but I might change it later on. We'll see.
I'm glad that you liked the story. I was really having trouble getting it to read on paper how it worked in my head. It got there in the end though! :)

Thanks again,
-Panda


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