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5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by bimah I'll Always Be Here for You

17th April 2016:
I LOVE THIS!!! *HUGS* You've done such an awesome job with this that I never even realized it was only in dialogues! Oh and such great chemistry!!!
(Sorry, I'm terrible at writing long reviews but I wanted to go on and on about this!)

Author's Response: Thank you! ♥ I'm glad that you liked this! It was SO HARD to write in all dialogue :D !

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Review #2, by Dojh167 I'll Always Be Here for You

7th April 2016:
I am so impressed by this story!

Just the idea of the dialogue challenge is crazy intimidating, and I am so amazed that you were able to write a 2500 word story with it! I was thinking I'd maybe be able to squeeze out something 500-1000 words long, but you've upped the standards for sure!

It was a little confusing at times for me to keep track of, but I don't think that's your fault at all, just proof of why we need dialogue tags in general. I think you did a great job of choosing two characters with such unique voices and natural banter. It made the prolonged dialogue feel very natural and the scene was definitely believable. Even when my brain wanted to get confused about who was speaking, your characterization through the dialogue clarified things quickly.

"You’re acting like you’re in love with him or something.” Just what I was starting to think...

I think you did a good job of setting the scenes and weaving exposition into the dialogue. I didn't feel like I was missing information about what was going on, which is impressive with only dialogue.

I also definitely got the build of romantic tension during the storm scene. Normally I would illustrate that kind of thing with descriptions, but I think it works really well to make the scene feel very immediate. We're really focused on exactly what is being said in real time.

Caught a small typo - in "What me to bring you to the Hospital Wing" What should be want.

"Can I kiss you again?” omgkfechkjkvckjkvdjhnljljdjksjkdjkjkd

Okay. So, pretty much every wolfstar story I ever read involves me going "Yeah, but why doesn't Sirius love James?" This, however, was incredibly cute and really got me. Like with the "awww"s and the watery eyes cause I'm way too emotional.

Does this Lily always have a stutter? I like that.

It's really hard to picture Remus not believing Sirius when he tries to tell him the truth. But it also makes sense that Remus would go to see Sirius, and of course with canon that couldn't go any other way. It's all sad.

Another typo - "Bbe happy with her."

I totally didn't expect this story to span so much time. It definitely made it sadder, to see them be happy together and then have things kind of fall apart.

I really liked the ending though. The line "Don't you want to talk about this more?" Was a great shout out to the beginning of the story. And the end does two things really well - it both makes it feel like they are ready to accept things and move on, but also implies that moving on is part of the circle, that they're going to always be playing their game in one way or another.

Wow, I am both very impressed/intimidated by your entry into this challenge, and want to see if I can give it a go myself - we'll see.

Awesome job! ♥

Sam.

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Review #3, by dreamgazer220 I'll Always Be Here for You

7th April 2016:
Hi there!

So, I've been curious about this when I saw it was up for the Dialogue Challenge, and I wish the worship-y emoji existed on the archives!

Because that's how I felt reading this entire piece. You did an amazing job of keeping the dialogue fresh and in character while still painting a picture in my head while I read it. I don't normally read a lot of WolfStar, but I'm thinking they're going to be a new favorite ship of mine. You wrote them just so well.

I loved how this started with Remus' fears of graduation and him trying to push Sirius away because of his feelings. Their argument on the Pitch was absolutely perfect, and I loved loved how this story flowed over the course of time and I wasn't at all confused.

And Remus being so angry and heartbroken over Sirius' betrayal (which of course know is false) was so painful to read. I just wanted to squish him and tell him that it wasn't Sirius' fault.

And I loved seeing Lily! You did such a great job with her pre-wedding jitters.

How many times can I say the word "love" in this review? Probably a few more XD

The ending was also really, really great. I'm heartbroken that they couldn't work things out romantically, but that made it tie seamlessly into canon. And of course that they were still friends in the end.

So, yeah. I loved this. Great job!!

♥ Jill

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Review #4, by Chocolate Frog Cards I'll Always Be Here for You

21st March 2016:
That was so sweet! And I know sweet as I am a very well known candy maker (and I know gross too...but that was an accident)! Writing in just dialogue is so challenging and you did it so well! I loved how it flowed and how you kept with the canon. I adored the love between Sirius and Remus (and I do not ship them at all and I found myself shipping them). It was so believable. It was so cute and heartbreaking as well, but the reader knew they still really loved each other and would always be best friends.

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Review #5, by Jo Raskoph I'll Always Be Here for You

19th March 2016:
Hey Rumpel :)

I had to stopp by to see what you did with the dialgue challenge, but then I was in the middle of it and I'd forgotten to take note of your use of dialogue because I was already so invested in your storyline. So I geuss I can say it worked perfectly.

I love how you fit all of it into canon, and I love that everything did not work out like they wanted it to. On the other hand I am close to tears now.

It's great that they are still friends at the end, that they managed to move on together is wonderful. But reading "I'll get mine yet" and knowing that there is nothing good coming for Sirius – that was really heartbreaking.

I'm sorry I can't tell you much more – only that it was sweet, and miserable. But life is miserable, especially in war and it was really well told and like I said before, the dialogue works perfectly.

Lots of love and thanks for sharing!
Jo

Author's Response: Hey Jo!

That's terrific news :)! I love that you were lost in the story line. It was a bit more challenging than I expected to write a plot line in dialogue (not that I'd expected it to be easy).

I'm sorry I almost made you tear up :(.

Thanks for your lovely review! It's very much appreciated!

-Rumpel


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