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Reading Reviews for Just Laugh
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Marshal Life

5th March 2016:
For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

Hello Gabe, I'm Marshal (obviously) from the forums. I saw that you've already been reviewed by my fellow Slytherin for the Sassy Seven team, I'm here from the competition Team Ouroboros. Also, I'm posting a review as part of a forum wide review-a-thon. A lot of people myself included are leaving reviews to garner donations from those who have pledged money per review to help keep this site going. Now that you know who I am and why I'm here I figure I should actually do more than that and leave a review.

You have crafted an interesting story thus far here. I can really pick up on your humor and wit. I feel like you might take inspiration on some level from comics yes? I'm vaguely reminded of things like DeadPool, Suicide Squad and even a bit of Guardian's of the Galaxy. This is certainly a wacky cooky take on a gritty action sequence and I kind of like it. I also really liked your literal interpretation of the Holy Hand Grenade, gruesome but funny.

Over all, as you asked you I would vote for longer chapters. I know it isn't always easy to crank out something long but that is okay crank out what you feel is right and fits the story. Just keep it over 500 words (per the site rules). At this point I don't have any predictions but I do encourage you to try and check out the forums as there are lot of people who offer to give out their opinion on stories. Anyway, best of luck on your continued writing!


- Marshal
Team Ouroboros
"The end is only the beginning"

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Review #2, by adluvshp Life

4th March 2016:
Hey there! I'm here as part of the Team Sassy Seven from the Slytherin house at the HPFF forums to paint your story green with a review.

I really like the premise of this story. This looks like a great start. Your plot seems intriguing and I'm excited to see where the story is going. The way you've set the scene for Sarah Blott to avenge the death of her father is nicely done. Maius looks like a great villain and you've portrayed him well so far.

Your descriptions are quite good and overall made for a good read as the first chapter. I think the story definitely has a lot of potential though could do with some slight polishing =) To answer your questions, I think a short introductory chapter such as this worked quite well to set the pace but you could definitely have a little longer chapters ahead. Do update as much and as fast as possible, as readers would be eager to see the story to its completion. For advice, work on your dialogue a little bit and the way you set the mood. More details are always nicer, but that's just my opinion.

Over all, definitely looks like a good story and you've a strong opening on your hands here. I had a great time reading it and I hope you continue writing. Would love to see how Sarah plans to take down Maius.

Cheers!

Operation Green with Envy
~RENCALM~
Angie
(A friendly Slytherin)

P.S. If you ever need help to hone your writing or need more opinions on the story, you could always join the forums. In case you don't know, the forums are the friendliest corner of the internet, and the Slytherin common room (contrary to popular belief) is the fuzziest place there xD

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Honestly I wrote this like a month ago and was unsure of it myself so hearing it has potential is great. As for longer chapters, i believe that this chapter was over at that point otherwise I would have continued with it. Further chapters will be longer (although the next two may still be short as it is more introduction). I will definitely check out the forums. I've always been a Gryfindor/Slytherin (which is weird i suppose) so I have no idea what I'll do. Thanks again!

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