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Reading Reviews for To have is to hold
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage The past fifteen years

30th January 2017:
Hi Andrew!

As I'm trying to bring a little more happiness for everyone, here's a review for you ! Hope you enjoy it!

First of all, I'm a major sucker for Hinny fics, so that's what drew me to this fic right away. And needless to say, I am not disappointed by it at all. I love how you tell the story and yet keep bringing in the flashbacks, but the reason why is very well done. It only makes sense that seeing Ginny lying like that brings back those memories and makes you think about all the things you might not have had and what brought you to that point in the first place. It's very well done and I'd like to think that having children both ground Harry, as well as soften him at the same time. Learn him to enjoy the little things in life more and not live in constant fear all the time. Though, I suppose, you have fears for your children regardless.

Anyway, it was very well done and the inclusion of Ron and Hermione and James in the end was very well done. Also because I think it really showcases their friendship and Harrys need to have people around who understand what he needs and what hes going through, which he gets in pletora from them.

Well done!

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Review #2, by SilverMoonFairy The past fifteen years

15th May 2016:
It's *sniff* another *sniffsniff* BvB Review. *bawls*

That hits me right in the feelings, man! I myself have been reading Harry Potter since the 4th grade and that's well over fifteen years for me. I find this to be such a beautiful and appropriate tribute to the story we've all grown up with and love. Harry has been through so much and we have all been right there with him, urging him on or wanting to kick him (it was only OotP I wanted to so that, I swear) and hoping and wondering and falling in love with a world that is just as real in our minds as the one we live in.

I believe very much that Harry would have a hard time realizing that it's time for him to sit back and relax and ENJOY what he has worked so hard for. He spent not just his Hogwarts years, but his entire life looking over his shoulder and trying to fight for good so much that he became an Auror, someone who is always on the look out for danger. So yes, Harry, take a breather. Happiness is here.

Andrew, your stories are too good! I feel inadequate! XD

One thing I noted was this line about Umbridge sounded very awkward to me:

some was insidiously pretending it was actually doing good.

I thought it could be reworded, mostly just taking out the 'was's with something like "some insidiously pretended to actually do good." Just a suggestion, there's nothing innately wrong with the line, it just reads awkwardly.

Have a wonderful day!

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Review #3, by victoria_anne The past fifteen years

12th March 2016:
HELLO BABY ALBUS AND WELCOME TO THE WORLD!

How am I meant to review something like this?! It's so amazing and sweet and I'm so glad you picked Harry to write about, because if anyone has a lifetime of memories to look back on, it's Harry Potter.

It was so beautiful to read, brought a tear to my eye! Just because Harry went through so much in only a few years but he got his happy ending with a family of his own. Choosing the birth of his second son to set the story was a really nice idea. Harry came such a long way!

I honestly wish I could write more, but I'm at a loss for words! Such a perfect little piece and I'm glad I found it :)

- B

Author's Response: YES INDEED, WELCOME TO THE WORLD ALBUS, AND MEET YOUR DAD.

Thank you so much for the lovely review. You ask how should you review a story like this, well the answer is, just as you have done will do very nicely. I'm glad you found something sweet to review.

I thought that Harry would have a lot of memories over fifteen years that would have had more ups and downs than most people have in their entire lives. It suddenly occurred to me that the maths might be right to have the birth of James coincide with fifteen years after he first started at Hogwarts, but it didn't fit. When I did the maths it was Albus instead. I wondered how I could get the story to work, it didn't seem as important enough as the birth of his first born to look back over the last fifteen years. But then that while sub-plot about his concerns came to me and really made the whole thing better for its inclusion.

So I'm glad you found it too. I was so worried, when I wrote it, that it would be a waste of time for the reader, just recapping events that everyone already knew. So I'm really relieved to find out that other people think it has merit.

Thank you so much.


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Review #4, by UnluckyStar57 The past fifteen years

27th February 2016:
Hey Andrew! I'm here for our swap, and again, I'm really sorry that I'm a day late!

The entries for HPFF's Birthday Duel are so good from what I've read so far, and this is no exception! This story is an incredible mini-meditation on Harry's past in the midst of his present, and it does a lovely job of summing up the Hogwarts years without being redundant. In fact, the phrases are just outright lovely!

Wow, I love the phrase "despoiler of dreams" to describe Voldemort because not only did he wreck the physical world, but he also played nasty mind games with Harry and magical and nonmagical citizens of Britain. Literally turning himself into the incarnation of a nightmare. That's disgustingly evil, and again, you phrased it so well!

The other phrase that I really love is "From the very first hours of his new corporeality, death had followed him." Voldemort is so horrifying, and this sentence is both literally true and metaphorically true at the same time.

As Harry reflects back through the years, it's very easy to see when he's getting anxious about his past and the things that happened to him. I like that he's followed in Mad-Eye Moody's footsteps and become a constantly vigilant Auror, but the juxtaposition of this to the image of him holding baby Albus is quite poignant. The awful war that he fought gave his personality a new edge, but his children sort of soften it.

Also, really wonderful job on touching on how he changed over the years! Not only did he go through these things, he grew through them. Harry is by no means a stagnant character, and you captured that in such a succinct way throughout!

Aww, toddler James Sirius is adorable! And it seems like Harry is still up to the kind of small rule-breaking that he did at Hogwarts, since he really isn't supposed to be holding Albus, haha.

Of course, since this was the birth of Harry and Ginny's son, Harry was not the only one in the room! After all, Ginny is the one who's in the hospital bed, and this is as much a story about her as it is about him. The juxtaposition between her in the present and in the Chamber of Secrets was oddly chilling because it was quite unexpected, but it makes sense that Harry would see it that way and serves as a fitting segue into Harry's reminiscences. Haha, we all know that Ginny is going to agree to the Controversial Middle Name for Albus, but I hope she's at least a little begrudging! She still has that very bold, brash Ginny Weasley quality to her in this story, even though she doesn't say much because she's exhausted from labor. It makes me happy that you retained that part of her personality--I really like book!Ginny and I don't think that the movies did her enough justice.

The only suggestion I want to give you is that you re-examine some of the shorter sentences in the story, especially towards the beginning. The first paragraph seemed kind of abrupt because of the sentence structure. Of course, that might have been purposeful on your part in the matter of style, so just ignore me if that's the case! :)

Thanks again for the swap! This was a really lovely story, and I can't believe it's just over 1200 words because it seems like a longer story. That's definitely a good thing!

~Mallory

Author's Response: Thanks for the swap, but you don't have to apologise for the delay, you know how fearfully tardy my own response was.

I'm glad you came and had a look at this little story. I've only just written it and I was wondering what people thought of it; being as it is only a recounting of events that most of us know from the books, but at a fifteen year remove. I'm very happy that it didn't seem redundant - that was a very real fear of mine going into the story.

That you pick up on those two phrases is great. I must say that I had a lot of fun writing the two and I did like the way that they seemed to turn out. You confirming this, makes me happy. Voldemort is as you say such a nightmarish figure - to be so ingrained in a society as an object of such evil that they cannot use his real name even though they think him dead, says a lot.

I believe that Harry'sactions in the war did amazing things to him. Especially his walk into the forest to meet death at the hands of Voldemort. After being so willingly able to sacrifice himself, he wouldn't have held onto some of the petty grievances of the past. But there has to be some balance, you cannot have someone becoming too perfect. So one thing that would have happened is that all of the death and heartbreak that Harry encountered at the time, would have driven home Moody's message of Constant Vigilance. It probably made him a little bit harder in a way and it is only now, as you point out, that his children are beginning to soften him.

Yes he still had to be Harry - what are a few small rules here and there. I also like to think that it's how he would be as an Auror, that he would punish severely those who walk an evil path, but those who break small, almost inconsequetial laws, he would deal much more leiniently with.

Oh, you know what, this review is simply wonderful. The story is told through Harry's eyes and so we experience far more of his involvement in it. I was so worried that the other person in the room might not be noticed as much as I wished her to be. So you saying all of those things about Ginny - all of which I wanted to convey - is so exceptional. Yes she's tough, but she's also loving. We know that she accepts the middle name, but I hope that she not only puts up a fight, but also gets some concessions somewhere else. I agree with you too, the movies did not do her fiesty, strong, independant character nearly enough justice.

Some of the shorter sentences were done on purpose, for that stocatto effect, but I will re-examine them as it is one of the faults of my writing. I do tend to write like an engineer sometimes, everything short and to the point. Also, this story was unbetaed, so I should pass it by somebody to give it a once-over.

Thanks indeed for the swap, and thanks even more for your patience with me and the much longer wait you had for my review. I'm really glad that you liked this little story, and yes, though it's little, it does pack a lot within - it is after all, the condensed remembrances of the past fifteen years.



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Review #5, by cherry_pop94 The past fifteen years

20th February 2016:
Hello!

I'm here for Bvb!

Gah, this was adorable! It was so cute that this fifteen years began with his Hogwarts letter. I loved hearing about adult Harry looking back over his years. Thinking about Ginny in the chamber and how lucky he is to have her now. Thinking about Umbridge and Voldemort.

It was a really interesting detail to have him still so afraid that it could all be taken away, even so many years later. He went through a lot of trauma in his childhood, so I'm glad that that was addressed here.

AHhh! How cute was it though that Rose and Albus are born so near each other?? They must have been the cutest best friends/cousin combo as babies.

I loved this!

Stefanie

Author's Response: Thanks, the first review on this little one-shot.

I wondered if the whole thing worked and wasn't just an exercise in rehashing what we all knew. The prompt that I used was to explore the changes that could occur over fifteen years. When I thought about it, I realised that fifteen years would be about the time from when Harry first began his magical schooling till the time he had his kids. When I did the maths, it worked out perfectly to fit in with the birth of Albus.

I tried to put in some of the big things, to show how much he had been changing over the years. A big one for me would have been saving Ginny - if he hadn't done that, wow, things would have been so different for him and the Weasleys too.

That was one thing, the one thing that I had to add to what was basically a recap of what everyone knew. The fact that he might be concerned that everything he loved could be taken away from him so easily. With his work as an Auror, with what happened to his own mum and dad, with what happened at school - I think that this could be a real concern for the older Harry. With the birth of his second son, he does get a grip on himself and relax slightly though.

I always think that Rose and Albus must have been fairly close together, they are shown both going to school at the same time after all, are they not? So they both must have been cute babies together, and so must have their respective dads have been too.

Thanks for being the first to give me any feedback upon this story, I really do appreciate it.


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