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Reading Reviews for The Unaccounted
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by teh tarik June 28, 2032: SNITCHED by Lillian Potter

1st May 2016:
*hugs Alishya back*

Hey lovely! I'm here (at long, long, long last) to review your entry for the Epistolary Challenge. And I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to stop by your fic and read. I'm trying to get back on track with reading so I can get the results out, sooner rather than later.

Anyway, wow what an intriguing start! I love this first chapter and I think it's an amazing beginning to your story. And your fic sounds like it's going to be a murder mystery, in epistolary form, which is great! And I also love that it's going to have something to do with Quidditch (well, at least, Xavier was a Quidditch player!). I think a Quidditch murder mystery is such a unique idea on this site, and I really hope you continue soon!

I love Lily Potter's character already. She sounds like a journalist/reporter of some sort, digging for truth and stories, trying to unravel the mystery. I loved the way you wrote her voice through her article. Sounds like she's very dedicated to her job, and an idealistic person. I can't wait to see how you develop her character further through her articles, and other epistolary forms.

Thank you so much for submitting an entry to my challenge, Alishya! ♥ Once again I'm so sorry this has taken me so long to come by, but now that I have, I'm hooked, and I do hope to see a second chapter soon! :) Amazing work!

-teh

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Review #2, by Dojh167 June 28, 2032: SNITCHED by Lillian Potter

10th April 2016:
Hello!

I think this is a really interesting idea for a story, and such an original take on the epistolary format. Also, speaking of format, I enjoyed how the text is centered in a way that makes it feel more like a letter than a typical story.

omg, of course she has a punny title

One thing I appreciate about this story is how you resisted the urge to give most of the characters recognizable surnames.

This sentence reads awkwardly - "How long have he been exactly dead?"

Wow, this story certainly went through a lot of twists! At times I thought there was nothing too dark at play, that it was just the unclear recovery from a rough night, but you've definitely woven enough controversy into the story to make me wonder what's really going on.

I wonder if the next chapter will continue this story or focus on some different controversy.

I'm also curious about the reactions to these letters. Do people take them seriously? As they are things that are not published in the papers, how are they received and circulated? What kind of background does Lily have, and does she have any credibility with the public?

A very interesting story! I hope you get the next chapter up soon.



Sam.

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Review #3, by SunshineDaisies June 28, 2032: SNITCHED by Lillian Potter

9th April 2016:
Hello!

What a fun story! I loved this challenge, I think this can be such an interesting way to tell a story! And this is certainly proving that true.

I love the idea of Lily Potter II being an investigative reporter, it's sort of combining both of her parents' careers in a really interesting way. I also loved the mention of Auror Malfoy. That is not a phrase I'd ever thought I'd read.

I love how you've started to weave in the details of this story. It's feels very much like we're on the outside looking in, which is a really unique perspective. Im really interested in seeing how this story unravels!

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Review #4, by PaulaTheProkaryote June 28, 2032: SNITCHED by Lillian Potter

7th April 2016:
Hi!

My first thought is that you're excellent at writing quidditch scenes. I always manage to muck them up a bit since I either don't add enough detail so it's bland, or I add so much detail that it's tedious. You've introduced the story with the perfect amount.

I love that from the first chapter, the first few paragraphs, you've hooked us readers into the mystery. I already started to have all kinds of potential explanations for why Xavier was missing.

I adore the fact that instead of one of the many Potter/Weasleys you could have put there, you made Scorpius the head of the auror department. What a lovely gesture on your behalf!

DUN DUN DUN! Scott Graham, the auror! Nice of him to withhold that bit of information and then disappear! But maybe he's been framed for the whole thing. What if both of them were mixed up with something way worse? Like the Wizarding Mafia or something.

What a convenient place for his body to just magically show up. It's almost like the auror department is being taunted, don't you think? My infinite crime show knowledge indicates that most people wouldn't put it somewhere so obvious. Maybe try to get rid of it entirely or at least do a better job of covering it up.

THEY RULED IT AN ACCIDENT? It's obviously not an accident. Even if it was an accident, it should have been covered up better! They couldn't even be bothered to change his clothes? Lazy criminals! Put some effort into it!

Overall, I loved loved loved your story and I really like the way it is written. I can't wait for you to update it so you can provide some mind boggling plot twist that will surely throw me for a loop. I've got a feeling it's coming. I really like Lily II and she just seems like she's going to be such a good character.

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