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Reading Reviews for Ruined
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TheEmotionalTeaspoon Cheat

28th March 2016:
Oh no! I really felt for Wood reading this, especially as I kept remembering all those scenes from the first few films, where he's so sweet and innocent.

This is a really great start to the story, you've given us lots of background and set up an intriguing plotline, hopefully we'll find out what happened!

-Kate :)

Author's Response: Two reviews in one day. I feel so loved.

Oliver is not is a very good situation here. Suddenly his whole world is crumbling around him and he has no idea why...or who is behind it. I've written most of this story but I've just had other projects taking up my time. I will definitely be back to it though, especially with all the recent news of substance abuse in sports.

Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a review.

Jacqui


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Review #2, by RavenclawFTW Cheat

11th February 2016:
Heya, here for BvB!

This is such a strong start to this story! I am totally with Oliver in his pain and disbelief. You've painted such a vivid picture of his mental state at this time, and I'm really indignant on his behalf.

It was so brutal to read through that, and I'm really hoping that he gets somebody to believe him, because being all alone in this must be really terrible. I found the speech about how much he had disappointed them to be really believable and I honestly cannot wait to see where this is going. The characterization is off to such a strong start! But I really, really hope he has some friends to help him through this!!

One SUPER minor thing: the use of the word "beseech" twice so close to one another kinda stuck out to me. In general, the formalness of the language as he was so devastated was a bit disconcerting to me-- the prose was almost too clean? I'm sorry, that's such a weird thing to say, but the level of the description/diction was like so polished that it was hard to reconcile with his emotions.

The other thing that stuck out was that he's playing for England-- he's Scottish in canon, and it's kinda hard to swallow that he'd be this proud of playing for England, not Scotland or some joint UK/Great Britain team. I'd really like to see this nationality thing justified in the story because it really threw me as a reader.

Overall, though, this is a great start and this story seems really unique! Can't wait to see where it goes. :)

--J

Author's Response: Thanks for your review and thanks very much for the critiques. This was my nano effort, and my briad was thinking more on speed and a story on paper than ensuring every detail was right (I was too lazy at times to think of names etc that I just put in question marks to be filled in later) So thanks for picking up some of the thing that slipped my notice during editing.

Writing too formally is a habit I do have to break sometimes. I didn't think I fell into that trap in this story but I'll give it another read. I'll modify his nationality too...a canon detail that slipped my attention (blushes)

Thanks again for your helpful review

Jacqui


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