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Reading Reviews for Come Along With Me
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Musing James Potter - Bacon Stealer

6th March 2016:
Hello there!!

I'm finally here to leave a review on your story for the HPFF Review-A-Thon!

This seems like a GREAT start to the story! I liked it from the beginning itself. Louis Weasley seems like an interesting character. He is a quite boy who likes his solitude and wants to become a Healer after Hogwarts! I'm sure I'm going to love learning more about him in the future chapters.

I loved the dynamic between James and Louis. James is the popular guy who takes care of his shy cousin- this is a James Sirius Potter I can totally imagine. He is so sure of himself, knows what he wants to do in his life and doesn't shy away from using his father's name to meet his ends. Also, he wants to play cupid for his cousin. I have a feeling he will achieve his goal without much efforts. Louis and the new boy are going to be partnered up in Potions, aren't they? Can't wait to read their interaction.

This exchange boy is surely attractive, but it seems he's got attitude ptoblem. Or did Louis judge him too early?

This is a promising start! I would love to read more of this story!

xoxo
Emm

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Review #2, by The Love Bandit James Potter - Bacon Stealer

15th February 2016:
KYLE!

This story is just darling. I love the way you've opened with this chapter and introduced such compelling and enticing characters. The chapter title alone, had me giggling. James Potter is a favorite Next-Gen Character of mine.

I do hope you'll be back with another update soon. I'm intrigued by Louis.

May your arrows ever fly true,
The Love Bandit

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Review #3, by Secret Cupid James Potter - Bacon Stealer

15th February 2016:
Hello! A belated Happy Valentines' Day to you!

This is a great opening chapter to your story. I really love that you've chosen Louis to be your main character, he's so under-respresented in fanfiction. I also like that even though he's a Weasley, he's very reserved and in the background, not lapping up the fame that his name brings. James is brilliant too, I really like the relationship you've shown between him and Louis so far, they're obviously close but have that banter going on too. Poor James getting detention on the first day :p

Great job, Valentine♥

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Review #4, by Infinityx James Potter - Bacon Stealer

30th January 2016:
Hi hi hi! I'm here for our swap. Sorry for the delay!

I really love how you've introduced your characters through this chapter and set the tone for the rest of the fic. The bits of humour make it such a delight to read and i love the simple language that you use. Those bits of sarcasm in Louis' thoughts were so great as well! I absolutely love the way you've characterised James. The depth you've given him through the way he knows his friend so well is something that makes him well-rounded and easy to like. I especially like that he's trying to set Louis up with the new transfer student. "and let me tell you, he is gorgeous." and "delicious piece of meat" - best lines ever. :D

I think something that stood out for me was how you incorporated Louis' sexual orientation into this without making it seem like a huge deal. In most of the fics I've read where a character is gay, it's given a lot of attention and made into something that needs to be given a lot of importance just because it's not something you find often. But what I love here is how you've casually inserted it in because it is normal and it is a part of casual everyday conversation. I think that's really great. :)

Prof Applebum and Diggers. Both those cracked me up! I absolutely love the way you've written the dialogues as well!

I noticed that there are places where you tend to write in past tense and then it changes to present tense. I suggest you go over this once to fix those or get a beta to clean those up for you. There are also a couple of places where there are misplaced periods. Probably due to a typo, but they're in the middle of sentences. And a few places where you haven't capitalised the first letter of the sentence.

Great job with this first chapter! I'm really intrigued and excited to know what happens next so let me know when you update. :) Thanks for the swap!

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Review #5, by princesslily_36 James Potter - Bacon Stealer

28th January 2016:
Hello! I'm here for our swap!

Thank you so much for leaving the review :-) the summary of the story intrigued me a lot, though not for Louis Weasley but the way you described James Potter. So I'm a sucker for Potter boys called James 😁

And the darling Potter boy didn't disappont me at all! I especially liked how Louis described him as being fiercely loyal to him. It actually made me draw parallels to how Ginny use to hex / threaten anyone who gave Luna a hard time. People make James Potter II more like his namesake, but I see a Lot of Ginny in him in this story, and that's actually what I like best about his characterization here.

Diggers is not an acceptabLe name for Headmaster Digby - this line cracked me up!

Tiny typos: they don't take away from the story but you would want to fix them ☺️
When i hear a shout - I should be capitalized
You do realize how crazy you are. Right? - I think this should be 'are, right?'
You're such a cheater. and wait - 'And wait' or 'cheater... And wait,'. I'm not entirely sure about the second optuon, you should probably get that checked by someone better at punctuation.
There are a few others along this line - nothing a good read through won't fix.

A small CC: I noticed that in various places your tenses kept getting mixed up. You switched between past and present tense. That kind of threw me off. I'm not sure if that is an acceptable style of writing, and ignore this CC if it is, but I have been often adviced to stick to one tense.

Apart from that the story read really well. The friendship between the confident James and slightly better behaved and more serious Louis was well established. You have managed to link Louis' character to his ambition - making it a perfect fit for him. I expect we will be seeing more of him in the upcoming chapters :-)

Great job so far :-)

Thank you once again for the swap!
Ysh

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