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Reading Reviews for Dark Beginnings
  
30 Reviews Found

Review #1, by sushmita Memories and Reality

2nd May 2017:
Loved this chapter and how everything came together. I actually thought all these murders of the ppl he hated were to create his first six horcruxes.

Author's Response: They could be as no one ever really discussed who his victims were although Amy is certainly a definite candidate as was his father.

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Review #2, by Sushmita Watchers in the Streets

1st May 2017:
typo "while other had" "we not already"
Did she really mean this? " land you in this office or in jail" :D

I felt the last para was a bit rushed and it wouldn't have hurt to rewrite what we know about Dumbledore's meeting from Tom's POV.

Author's Response: That, my fellow HP fan, is a situation that has its own one-shot story which is in editing and soon to be posted.

I never have been entirely happy with this chapter and often thought about rewriting it. Only the future will tell.


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Review #3, by Sushmita Terror in London

1st May 2017:
Brilliantly captures some of the devastation Tom is capable of bringing! Loved it! I also see why people describe the time when Voldemort came into power, some dark times and when the weather was always terrible.

Author's Response: Thanks again for seeing what I did when I wrote the chapter.

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Review #4, by Sushmita Nightmares

1st May 2017:
Spooky and very believable! Loved the reveal that her visions were just a nightmare though.

Author's Response: Thanks, that's just what I intended.

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Review #5, by Sushmita Dreams

1st May 2017:
I found the images Amy was seeing in her dreams a little bit confusing and chotic if it was a time where Tom was trying to invade her mind. It almost seems like the future Voldemort is invading her mind and not Tom in those situations, specially when Amy dreams “Nagini, dinner is served!”, where at this point Tom didn't know Nagini. This is also a time where Tom himself is trying to make sense out of the images he sees of Hogwarts and Harry and obviously some of it is prophetic. I still feel maybe it would be good to go back and re-read this chapter and make it consistent, unless u want to introduce us to the fact that future Tom Riddle is the one invading her dreams everytime Tom wants to torture her. Some of the imagery seems a bit graphic for Amy the child to be dreaming on her own as well. Its a spooky chapter!

Author's Response: Tom at this point had learned to manipulate others and implant thoughts in their minds. I think that somehow the future was intruding into the present and Amy was the unfortunate recipient of this thought

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Review #6, by Sushmita Best Laid Plans

1st May 2017:
Wow that was creepy!

Author's Response: Thanks for another wonderful review! It gives me the encouragement to continue writing.

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Review #7, by Sushmita Casting Stones Does Not Pay

1st May 2017:
Interesting chapter! I liked the fact that the guy who got hit was also from the same orphanage and got back at Mrs. Cole. Can't wait to read what's next. Typo "watching activity "

Author's Response: Many orphans were not happy with growing up in an orphanage. This one was no exception and, since Mrs. Cole no longer held any authority over him, probably didn't wish her well.

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Review #8, by Sushmita Ponds, Pranks and Punishments

1st May 2017:
I do believe Nagini is someone he may have found on his journey with his knowledge of prseltongue and not a manifestation of his power. I think in JKR's world you could probably change the shape of one living creature to another but not create something living out of nothing. He did find a way to put one of his horcruxes into Nagini so I'm guessing she is someone who very much existed and probably saw her as one of his most powerful acquisitions with her powerful venom as well.
Another story to think of is how in Hogwarts he goes about acquiring the different objects to make horcruxes.

Author's Response: That's the beauty of this whole universe! The speculation that a person can make when writing is incredible. I can see what you're saying.

I really hadn't thought about stories with Moaning Myrtle or Hagrid yet. The Horcrux idea was toyed with and actually story boarded but hasn't gone any farther than that.

Maybe something to write after I retire from my job at the end of this month.


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Review #9, by Sushmita Visions

1st May 2017:
You are right, I do believe that if Tom had been born in a normal magical family, he would have been taught how to channel his magic for good right from his childhood. Its the lack of love and confusion that is taking him on this path. In some ways Dumbledore found him too late in life to redeem him although he must have tried his best. I feel bad for those parts where he got adopted as a 1 yr old and got sent back. Tom has become adept at the art of manipulation at this point without being corrected.

Author's Response: You're right! Even if Tom had had influence from the magical side of his family, things probably would not have been much better. the discussion of his mother, uncle and grandfather in the book painted a very grim portrait of what a small child would have endured.

Add to that the child was a half-blood in a family of crazed wizards and Tom's future would definitely been in doubt.

His future with his Muggle father would have been little better as his family was one of means and not likely to accept an illegitimate child.

He drew a whole handful of bad cards at birth and drew nothing to improve his lot in life.


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Review #10, by Sushmita Ponds, Pranks and Punishments

30th April 2017:
Wonder if Tom had found Nagini at this point based on what Billy describes.
Typos "but good and the only
until they drag the pond
keep them from underfoot"
Im so looking forward to finishing this story quickly so i can read about his time in Hogwarts. Keep writing!

Author's Response: Thanks again for the heads up on the typos. I really hadn't thought about the origins of Nagini (was she even really a living snake or just a manifestation of his power?), but at this point in his life I doubt that he had.

I have been writing a sequel to this story which involves his first year at Hogwarts. I hope that you give it a chance and let me kow what you think.


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Review #11, by Sushmita The Toy Truck

30th April 2017:
I'm quite surprised your story hasn't been featured on the front page of hpff yet. Your quality of writing is great. I'm guessing a lot of people tend to read fiction based in Hogwarts. I stumbled upon your story when it showed up as an ad banner and I'm so glad I did.

Author's Response: It actually is on the front page of HPFF right now. Thanks for the very kind reviews, they help me when I think about my next chapters or when I go back to fix errors.

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Review #12, by Sushmita The Toy Truck

30th April 2017:
Typo "violence in his sort life". Great chapter! Loved the healing bit of magic.

Author's Response: Of all of the chapters in this story this was the one that I found most difficult because this is the one where Tom actually shows some real emotion, even if it is love for an inanimate object.

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Review #13, by Sushmita Visions

29th April 2017:
My fav line was "Tom wasn’t sure HOW it worked at all", brought out the child in him. Exhibiting magical powers were mostly moments of anger or extreme feeling on his part. I do like the narrative where it does explain away some of his powers in the previous chapter. Im loving how he also shows some prophecy powers by looking at his future self and tying his past up with how he continues to evolve and grows in the future.

Author's Response: Thank you! I was trying to show that, for everything that he had done and will do in the future, Tom is still a child at this point in his life and could have been redeemed if someone would have shown him love.

While Martha shows him more affection than anyone else not even she had correct what will happen. Only a loving home where he was cared for could have done that.


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Review #14, by Sushmita An Odd Child

27th April 2017:
ha ha no I don't write and hence the reviews as a guest. I've become a huge fan of hpff since I read the cursed child last year and wanted to really engross myself into JKR's world. I have started to really enjoy reading fiction based off the marauder's era and this is the first time I came across something on the origins of Voldemort and I'm absolutely loving your work. Obviously some parts of this story don't quite click since its all wandless magic but it still gives us a good perspective on how Tom Riddle turned into the most powerful wizard.

Author's Response: Actually, wandless magic was quite prevalent in the movies and books. I may have gone a little overboard with such, but that's the beauty of a fictional world.

The story was written because, like you, I had never seen anything about his early life other than that short piece in the movie.

Thanks again for the reviews and, should you ever decide to write, I will be certain to repay the favor of reading your work.


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Review #15, by Sushmita Answers to Questions

27th April 2017:
I found a bit odd that the cars in that era could go as fast as u describe. of course without seat belts I'm sure accidents could be disastrous.
Another couple of typos " that that the
that he had opened"

Author's Response: Actually some of the cars from the era could travel at a respectable clip (I have one that I drive frequently to antique car shows) and can be quite fickle. For dramatic effect I may have given the vehicle some extra muscle but again that's the beauty of a fictional world.

Thanks for pointing out the typos.


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Review #16, by Sushmita The Cave

26th April 2017:
brilliantly written!
Small grammatical error to fix "he always argues. Instead, he got into the tub and sat their without argument, even when I washed behind his ears.”

Author's Response: Thanks for the kind review!

This chapter gave me fits as I wrote it as it runs contrary to my own personality and I really had to bend to make it work.

Thanks for pointing out the error.



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Review #17, by Sushmita The Cave

26th April 2017:
brilliantly written!
Small grammatical error to fix "he always argues. Instead, he got into the tub and sat their without argument, even when I washed behind his ears.”

Author's Response: Thanks again

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Review #18, by Sushmita Death at the Door

26th April 2017:
So I guess my feedback is that without a wand I can see how he could control things to move or even have something cause someone to fall. I don't quite get the logic of him thinking "DIE" and having the other person just collapse and die. I guess what's the point of using the spell Aveda Kedavara with a wand and kill someone if Voldemort could just think DIE and kill someone. It seems to go a lil beyond the normal principles of JKR's theory of magic at this point. I liked the idea of him causing a rain of dying pigeons out of nowhere but it still feels a bit much on what a young boy without a wand could be capable of at this point. A few typos and errors to fix
"he as off
he was less than they
made up his mind to figure his mind to figure this"

Author's Response: My thinking on this was (and is) that I indicated that the man was older and that he was an easy target for this. I really just ran with this story and probably did go beyond what JKR intended, but it was a fun write.

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Review #19, by Sushmita Billy's Lament

26th April 2017:
Another excellent chapter to show Tom's cruel ways!

Author's Response: Thanks for the kind review!

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Review #20, by Sushmita An Odd Child

26th April 2017:
Wow this story was totally gripping and how you got into the mind of the young Tom Riddle. I love how getting into people's heads comes so naturally to Tom and you are showing how gifted he is magically. I love the snippets of his cruelty.

Author's Response: Tom was a fascinating character to write as we have seen very little on his early life. The little that we did see pointed towards his characteristics and the Voldemort that we see shows where he went from childhood. All that I had to do was play with the pieces and put them together.

Do you write? I haven't seen anything from you and would love to.


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Review #21, by redvixen92 Memories and Reality

22nd April 2017:
I thoroughly thoroughly enjoyed this story. It gripped me from beginning to end. It's so nice to find a story about Tom Riddle's childhood that has actually gripped me!

Well done

Author's Response: Thanks for the very kind review. This story happens to have a sequel in the works called Darkness Rising! Give it a try and tell me what you think please.

I look forward to reading your work and will check back to see what you have posted.


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Review #22, by Dobbyandginn Memories and Reality

20th March 2017:
What a fantastic story I am just going to start the sequel now. This was really good I read it all in one night it kept me interested from the first chapter till the end.

Author's Response: Thanks for the very kind review. I'm glad that you liked the story and that it held your interest from beginning to end.

I had hoped that readers would be interested in reading about Voldemort's life while he was still young Tom Riddle and I was right. There was so little written or shown about this time period that I just had to give it some help.

I am currently writing about Tom's first year at Hogwarts but plan on writing about the rest of his education at Hogwarts as well. This means at least six more sequels if not more.

Please read on and let me know what you think about the other chapters. It helps me when I know what my readers like and I can plan accordingly.

The next chapter is being prepared for posting and should be up soon.

Evil Otter


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Review #23, by Rumpelstiltskin An Odd Child

19th March 2016:
Hello again! I'm here once more with team: Sassy Six, representing the Slytherin House over on the Forums.

It kills me to see such a low review count when your writing is so lovely.

At any rate, this is brilliant. I love how you've tied in the stark and dreary scenery description to set the mood for the rest of the chapter. It's one of my favorite places to start when beginning a chapter, especially with writing. It gives me solid ground to start from.

Your characterization of Tom as a boy is amazing. I love his creepy xenophobia and antisocial tendencies. I think you've hit the nail on the head with his apparent psychopathic behavior, especially when he (possibly accidentally) breaks the other boy's arm.

The speech patterns you've given him -- that clipped, formal way of speaking, the older form of subjugative etiquette -- is eerie and fitting. It also is thrilling to see it give way to this more powerful and commanding voice that he uses when he feels needed. It's really fantastic.

The level of complexity to him is truly fascinating. Helping Herbert with his washing, but obviously being the cause of him falling onto his already broken arm, and then receiving a treat for his 'good' behavior, and the pure level of manipulation is once, more, creepy. But it's absolutely perfect for Tom Riddle.

Anyway, fantastic job! I loved this. I will definitely stop by some time to read some more!

R E N C L M

Author's Response: Sorry I haven't replied before now, new grandchild kept me occupied.

Thank you for your very kind review of my work.

Tom has been a very interesting and, quite frankly, easy character to write. I work in a middle school and see a great many "Toms" in the halls. Thankfully they don't have the abilities that he possesses.

As my story progresses, I used what I thought a logical progression of his powers and his awareness of how different he is.

Yes, I watched the movies and read the book passages about him and then based his speech patterns on that material as well as on the language used in a number of other children in orphanages (Oliver Swift comes to mind not the same person but around the same era).

I have been building to this in the hopes that it will get recognition (Dobbys?) although I am also puzzled by the lack of interest in it (review and otherwise). I will continue to write because, like I said, he is a fascinating character to write.

Thanks again for your praise for my work and a new chapter shall be posted in the next day or so.


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Review #24, by Marshal The Toy Truck

6th March 2016:
For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

Ooo! A cliff hanger! You are making me very curious about what Tom has in store the the mean and horrible Billy. While Tom is powerful and has worked a lot to his advantage, I like that you have not made him infallible he still occasionally get's in trouble and seeing such a strong reaction from him in regards to the Toy Truck is interesting on many levels. He has more care and concern for a toy truck than any person and I love it as that is so in his character and nature.

Really I am looking forward to the next chapter when you have it written. I mean there isn't only Billy to see to but Amy too. Poor ignorant Amy, one would think that she would have kept her mouth shut after what happened to her at the hands of Tom last time. Anyway, keep up the amazing work and I'll see you next time when you update the story!

- Marshal
Team Ouroboros
"The end is only the beginning"

Author's Response: It really wasn't meant as a cliff hanger, I simply hadn't posted my latest chapter. This chapter actually got rejected because of the punishment meted out to Tom thus the change to a mature rating.

He, for what he will become, is still only a child with emotions. The truck is the only thing that he can love and when it is taken from him he reacts in the only way that he understands.

Yes, there is much in store for Billy and Amy (the chapter for her is being written at this moment) and Tom will prove that there is much more to him than anyone even imagines.

The next chapter has been posted and I look forward to your thoughts.

Thanks again,
Evil Otter


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Review #25, by Marshal Visions

6th March 2016:
For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

Hmm, this chapter on some level makes me almost feel smypathy for Tom. The lake of love and care in his life. It kind of gives cause to some of his actions but at the same times what he has done goes much further than not having love in his life.

Also I like how Tom is getting visions of is his future without realizing it. You are playing with his future nicely. If one didn't know the future of tome the dreams are a nice intrigue and creep factor that would leave a reader who doesn't know the story of Tom Riddle wondering. Still it is a nice touch for those who know the story of Tom well from the books.

It looks like there is only one more chapter left for me to read at present so I'm off to read it and then wait for your next update.

- Marshal
Team Ouroboros
"The end is only the beginning"

Author's Response: You hit upon my motivation for this story perfectly. It is a fact that, if circumstances had been different in his life, Tom Riddle probably would not have been the Voldemort that we know. He undoubtedly would have been a wizard, but without the lack of parental love he might have been much like Harry Potter.

Yes, I have been having fun giving the readers bits and pieces to remind them about what they read in the books or saw in the movies while also giving unfamiliar readers something to contemplate.

Thanks again for your kind reviews and I hope that your review competition went well.

Thanks,
Evil Otter


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