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Reading Reviews for Sarah
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by princesslily_36 [one]

5th March 2016:
FOR THE HPFF REVIEW-A-THON

Hello Anja!

My last few reviews have been for romance and fluff so I thought I'll read some horror and angst for a change!

Ohh, this was quite a dark Remus one-shot at that, and has left me with a very dark after effect - that's a tribute to your writing, you made the whole story real while keeping everything close to canon that it is so easy to believe it could have happened.

I loved how you used Remus' sense of smell to describe the emotions he felt, as well as the deductions he made. I also really like the way your descriptions panned out when you described the scene - especially the forbidden forest that he was so used to frequenting every month. It's small anectodes like that when you slipped in that completed the feel of the story.

Actually, I totally get that Remus suspected Sirius and we know from the books that Sirius thought it was Remus. Plus Sirius' family, like you pointed out, unfortunately played against him. But the point being nobody really gave Peter that much thought or didn't think he was talented enough to pull of a double-agent role. Well, goes to show doesn't it. What's so sad is that this could have actually pushed Peter to the edge - the Death Eaters might have showered him with praises and attention he didn't get with the Marauders.

It's so horrible that Sarah was taken by Fenrir, and what they had done to her must have scarred Remus so much. No wonder he resisted Tonks for as long as he did. And gives Remus even greater a reason to hate Greyback. I begin to wonder what would have happened when Remus confronted him?

The description of Remus' grief at the end was what did it for me - gave me that dark feeling - you have described his pain so flawlessly.

Thank you for a chance to read this story :D You're an amazing writer Anja!

XOXO
~Ysh

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Review #2, by TreacleTart [one]

22nd January 2016:
Hey Anja,

I'm here for our review swap!

This was a really interesting concept that you've created for this story. Remus is always an interesting character to explore and in cannon we never get a very good reason for the way he tries to avoid love. I mean I know part of it is the werewolf thing, but this idea you've come up with actually makes that standoffishness in cannon make a lot more sense. If his heart was just destroyed by losing the woman he loved, I could imagine him having a lot of fear that if he and Tonks got together, she might suffer the same fate. Anyway, this turned into a bit of a tangent, but the point was, I could see this fitting into cannon.

I thought it was smart to show Remus having suspicions about his friends. It was an intriguing choice to have Remus more inclined to believe that Sirius was the snitch and not Peter. I guess because Peter has always been the weak, scared friend, maybe Remus thought that he just didn't have it in him to turn traitor.

I liked the little detail that even when Remus is attacking Sirius, he still takes a moment to be glad that he didn't accidentally hurt Lily or the baby. I also liked that it was her soft touch that stopped the fight. She has so much love for all of the Marauders and you can really see that in the way that they all interact with her.

The ending was particularly brutal, but I sort of expected it to be. As soon as I saw that Sarah was kidnapped by Fenrir, I knew it was going to be a tough ending. I thought the visual of the dead girl in the center of the pentagram covered with flowers was very haunting.

Seeing Remus' reaction only made it more tragic. Hearing him scream and then in the midst of his grief seeing him turn into a wolf. It's just awful.

I honestly don't have much CC to offer. Just one very tiny thing. The last name Greyback is spelled with an E...so Greyback, but you spelled it Grayback the whole way through the story.

All in all, great work. This was a really unique concept and like I keep telling you, your writing is just getting better and better. Oh and good work on the description too! Can't forget to mention that. I loved that you focused on smell descriptions because most people focus only on sight and touch. It was nice that you broke from the norm on that!

~Kaitlin

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Review #3, by maraudertimes [one]

21st January 2016:
:(

:( :( :( :(

Okay well this was super sad. I really liked it though, which is a bit strange. You know. Because it basically ripped my heart out.

I liked how even though this was centered around the abduction of a character no one knows about, it was still so involved with the plot of Harry Potter. I got a bit confused when Sirius mentioned that Peter was a rat for a reason, since I thought that James and Lily weren't supposed to have doubts about Peter, so immediately afterwards, those few sentences were really clarifying and also made me chuckle a bit (as much as I could given the sad circumstances).

It was a really smart move on your part to kind of slowly ease into the unease the Potters must have felt around their friends, specifically around Sirius, since it's obvious that Remus blames Sirius for the abduction of Sarah. I feel like he would still hold these feelings well after this night so I can see where Lily and James would get their suspicions about Sirius if Remus was constantly berating them about him.

That aspect was really cool because it gave a new depth to the series and gave me something to think on.

I think that Greyback took Sarah was one of the saddest parts of this story. He's caused so much grief in Remus's life and he has to inflict more pain? I really hate Greyback. And the pentagram and the bite marks just sound awful, it gives me shivers, it really does.

The ending was just heartbreaking, but I feel like if was anything but, the story wouldn't feel as complete as it does. I think your writing in this story is amazingly well done and you've really rounded out a plot point in the series that was kind of left to the imagination of the reader, and I really liked how you did that.

Thanks for the swap, I really liked this story!
Lo :)

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Review #4, by NPE [one]

19th January 2016:
Hi.
Elderflowers/NPE here. I read your review swap suggestion, and I felt your story looked like something worth a look :)
I really like the sense of paranoia, confusion, and suspense you layer throughout the wrok.
That has been done with a lot of thought.
I am not normally overly-enamoured with AU. But the Remus' wife story intrigued me, and his own conflict about his lycanthropy was really well depicted here.
The way Greyback is noted so ominously worked for me too.
Furthermore, your depiction of the Marauders was very true to how I imagined them.
My only real CC is that at times, Lupin's thoughts read too much like angst. They occasionally veer into a very verbose sense of "camp".
Though I do understand his torment, which you depict well, I think he is more cynical and nihilistic than theatrical.
But I really liked it.
Best,
Nick

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Review #5, by Unicorn_Charm [one]

17th January 2016:
Hey there! Here for our swap!

Ok so my feels are sufficiently shattered after this. :( Ugh poor Remus. This was just so, so horrible, what happened to him here.

I really liked the concept of Remus having a wife in the early days of The Order. It makes his rejection of Tonk's feels make even more sense. With him telling her that he's too dangerous. He wouldn't want something like this happening again. :'(

I really loved your usage of the wolf inside of him. I don't see too many stories with him where that is so prevalent in his mind. It was really interesting to see that the wolf is always kind of there and he had to make a conscious effort to keep it at bay constantly.

I got so mad at him when he immediately dismissed that Peter could betray them and suspected Sirius just because of who his family was. Sirius made a great point by turning it around and saying that maybe it was Remus, because of him being a werewolf. Of course Sirius didn't mean that, but it showed Remus that he shouldn't judge someone because of something they can't control.

Wow the tension at the end of this story was so, so well written. My heart raced while he tried to find her before turning into the wolf. I had a feeling that he wasn't going to find her alive, but I really hoped that he would. I figured that either he was going to find her already dead, or it would had been set up so that he found her right before he transformed and he would had been the one to kill her. Which would have completely broken me. Ugh but his grief at finding her body. I literally had tears.

This was a fantastically written story. It was really, really vivid. Your description was flawless and your characterizations were perfect. Even though this broke my heart, I truly enjoyed it. Great job on this!!

Thanks for the swap!! ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: God, Meg, I can't even begin to describe how happy your review made me! Thank you so, so much!

I was a little worried about this story originally... I wrote this in the middle of the night, just before the deadline of the challenge (got it in with two minutes to spare), and had no time to read through it or edit it. Maybe that's how I managed to make the angsty stuff seem so real - because of the stress while writing.

oh, ugh, you're even worse than me - I couldn't ever have pictured Remus actually KILLING her. Finding her dead and put on display was horrible enough to write, thank you very much.
Sarah had to die - we never hear her name mentioned in Canon, so she just can't be around. I figured that Remus would be the kind of guy who got married right after Hogwarts, but not because of a rash decision, but because he just KNOWS this is what he wants, who he wants to be with for the rest of his life.

I am so glad you liked this! Thanks so much for the swap

♥ Anja


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Review #6, by carry on with your knitting [one]

17th January 2016:
Hello!
It's Katie here from the forums, I'm reading and reviewing all of the challenge entries! :)

I thought this was wonderful! I absolutely loved it! It was beautifully written and flowed perfectly telling such a sad story! I love Remus, he's one of my favouritse and this is so heart breaking to read. I loved the fact that you kept referring back to his animal instincts and how he is constantly trying to fight them. I also really loved that you included the tension with Remus and Sirius, it was really well written, especially as you included the thought process of him accusing Sirius, and why Sirius would also accuse him. It gave a sense of the order and their friendship starting to fall apart.

I really enjoyed reading this and thought it fitted perfectly to the song you chose. Great job! :D

Katie

Author's Response: Hey Katie,
I'm really happy you liked this. Thanks so much for the lovely review.
I can't wait to read all the other entries, I'm sure there were many amazing stories! Congrats on creating such an awesome challenge!

Anja


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Review #7, by alicia and anne [one]

12th January 2016:
I am already intrigued by the summary of this story :D

Straight in with the devastation! Straight in the heart and the feels :( Oh Remus, I just want to help him and hug him. His pain is so real and so raw! (fantastic job on writing that) and how he's struggling not to turn into a beast.

You've done an amazing job at writing in his senses and how they're playing out through this, smelling their fear and the blood, how he can hear anything they say and any hitch of breath. It really adds to the scene and makes you realise just how much he's going through.

NO!!! Not Peter!! Damn you, Peter!!

No! Remus don't distrust Sirius, it can't have been him! *hides behind hands* I don't want to see him hate Sirius. :( Now they're fighting and Sirius is being spiteful and I totally understand why and it's making me so sad :(

AHHH!!! I NEED MORE! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND IF HE FINDS HER AND DEFEATS GREYBACK AND TALKS TO SIRIUS AGAIN!!!

Fantastic job! I was on the edge of my seat for the entire chapter and I'm so eager for more! Keep up the wonderful work!

Author's Response: Your reviews always make me smile! Thank you so much!

I think you have become the person whose reaction I measure the success of a story by. You read so many stories here, so if a story makes you feel like I intended it to, I kind of think I did an okay job.

Thanks so much for stopping by! This last reviewathon turned into a week-long thing, didn't it?



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Review #8, by marauder lady [one]

11th January 2016:
Oh honey thank you. I'm touched!!

I can't put into words how amazing this is. The beautiful descriptions, brilliant characterizations, and oh my word the angst!!

Just wonderful and heartbreaking. ❤

Author's Response: aw thank you! I had fun writing this. it's the first thing I actually posted since our linked oneshots. I'm so happy that you liked this - as you know, I don't usually write Marauders era, but I decided to do that for you.
Love ya


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