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Reading Reviews for Hitched
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dreamgazer220 Act I

3rd May 2016:
Hey, Penn! Here with your requested review :)

I don't read nearly enough of Remus/Tonks, so thank you for sharing this story with me!

You did a really great job with characterization here, and I loved that you started it with Remus rejecting Tonks again and you were really able to show us her frustration over it, which makes a lot of sense. The only thing that confused me a bit was when we heard the conversation between Remus and Dumbledore- was Tonks present? If she was, then it totally makes sense, but otherwise, I would just make the POV change a little clearer and you should be okay with that.

This story flowed really well and you did a great job of spanning a lot of time over a short amount of words. I loved Tonks' jealousy over Fleur and Bill- it made her seem so human and vulnerable and I really enjoyed it. Tonks is often portrayed as a tough character, but I loved seeing the softer and more vulnerable sides to her in this piece. You did a really great job of bringing those out! And some of the language you had was amazing, too. The first few lines really hooked me in, and then there was a line about Tonks' frustration opening like a dam. So powerful and so well done!

I also LOVED the conversation between her and her parents about Remus. I loved how defensive she was about him, and that she was sticking by the man she loved no matter what her parents said. She called her mom out, even though her dad was trying to play peace-keeper. And her relationship with her dad was so touching! It was a nice contrast, he seems to know that fighting fire with fire isn't a great idea. And I chuckled at the line, "Alas, I procrastinate."

Kingsley's speech at Remus & Tonks' wedding was also really touching. I loved that you paid tribute to James and Sirius there as well, but it wasn't emotional and more of a humorous speech that had everyone laughing. Such an important thing during those dark times.

And Tonks going to Molly about being pregnant. ♥ I love that. It seemed so realistic and natural, like, of COURSE she would go there! And Molly being so supportive was exactly what Tonks needed. I do hope she tells Remus soon, though, and that he doesn't freak out too much (while it makes sense that he would, because of his insecurities and everything).

The only CC I have for you is sometimes the speech is a little weird. Tonks doesn't strike me as someone who would say "shall" all the time, but I feel like she would have more informal/conversational speech. "Ain't" also seemed a little out of place coming from her, so maybe find a happy medium between the two?

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this! Thanks for sharing! ♥


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Review #2, by Lee Jackson Act I

22nd February 2016:
You've definitely got a flair for writing short stories - this one is very successful indeed.

Just one main problem:

The characters' speech changes too much over the course of the story.

For example, sometimes Tonks speaks informally: "ain't" and she speaks formally at other times: "I shall miss him". In the Harry Potter books, Tonks would be more likely to say "I'll miss him" than "I shall miss him", so just be careful how you write, and have a clear idea of how each character speaks so that you can avoid slip-ups.

The story flows well - despite the obvious stops and starts indicated by the horizontal lines, the story runs smoothly and the characters have definite personalities.

My advice: focus on the dialogue (don't have Molly saying "gonna" and don't have Tonks saying "I shall"), and you'll have a perfect short story :)

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Review #3, by Felpata Lupin Act I

18th January 2016:
Hi, Penn!
Here with your requested review! (sorry for taking so long...)

Oh, how lovely! This chapter was just so adorable (it might have something to do with the fact that I love Remus...) And as always, your writing was wonderful. So evocative, so addicting, so easily flowing! I've already told you more than once, but you're really a talented writer!

It was so easy to empathize with Tonks. Her emotions were very clear throughout the chapter and your descriptions really helped to bring them out beautifully. In this aspect, I particularly loved your rewriting of the scene in the Hospital Wing, the way you played with hope and pain and eyes.

You did a great job with Andromeda and Ted, too. I loved the contrast between them. They're clearly both worried for their daughter and the life she's choosing, yet their ways to show it are so different from one another, and so similar to what my headcanon is.

Oh... How I wish Dora's fears about the child and about telling Remus were groundless... That passage with Molly was so perfectly constructed and so full of emotion.

So, to cut it short, I loved the chapter! Brilliant work, as always! :D

See you soon!
All my love,

Author's Response: Thanks Chiara for the great review. You are really effusive with your praise. *blushes*

It was a difficult chapter for me. I don't usually do romance and this was really uncharted territory for me. Feels great to know I did well.

Will surely be waiting to hear more from you.


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Review #4, by Lostmyheart Act I

13th January 2016:
Hi Penn!

Thank you so much for such a wonderful story! I loved it!
It was so well-written, are you crazy? Especially the beginning, wow. You're extremely talented. I liked the way you described their situation, their feelings, how Nymphadora felt throughout the whole story. I could connect with her so easily, and with Remus too.

I can't remember the last time I read a Lupin/Tonks story, so thank you! It was refreshing and I can't believe it's dedicated to me!!! It fits my preference; sad stories. Because we all know what's going to happen later, and ugh... the happy ending you gave this story was so bittersweet at the same time.

LOVED IT. And again, thank you!

- Avi


Author's Response: Thanks Avi for the review. Great to know that you loved the story so much. Another chapter shall be coming up soon so be on the look-out. :)

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Review #5, by CassiePotter Act I

12th January 2016:
Hello! I'm here for our review swap!
This was wonderful! I thought you did a really great job writing Tonks. I realized as I was reading this that I'd never read a story that focused on Remus and Tonks's relationship, so this story was a really nice change from what I usually read.
I thought Andromeda's reaction to her daughter telling her that she and Remus were engaged was really interesting. She clearly wants the best for her daughter, but I also think that scene showed that she could never completely escape some of the values that she was raised to believe. She hasn't met Remus, but she still judges him because he's a werewolf, even if she's only doing so to try and protect her daughter.
The scene between Tonks and her father was so sweet. I loved it. He was so gentle with her, and it was so clear that he absolutely dotes on his little girl. It was one of my favorite parts of the chapter.
I liked that Tonks convinced Remus not to worry so much about what other people think of their relationship by reminding him that their love is all that matters. It was really sweet and really important for him to hear, I think.
Kingsley's best man speech was really great. I loved that he talked about Remus causing some trouble with James and Sirius back at school, and that he talked about how Tonks showed him that he was worthy of love.
Molly had the sweetest reaction to finding out Tonks was pregnant! I thought you did a great job showing the mixed emotions that she had in that scene. She's happy that she and Remus are going to have a baby, but also worried that it's not the right time, or that Remus will react badly. It wasn't all happy and fluffy, which I thought was very realistic.
I thought this was really great, and I really enjoyed reading it! Thanks for the review swap!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Thanks Cassie. Remus and Tonks are one of my favourite ships and I am so happy that you liked it so much. Another chapter shall be coming up soon so do be on the look-out.

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Review #6, by princesslily_36 Act I

12th January 2016:

I'm here for our review swap. Sorry about the delay, I was expecting my laptop back sooner. Anywhoo, I'm excited about Remus/Tonks. they're one of my favorite ships. I remember reading your Post-Hogwarts story sometime back, been meaning to get to it (I will, soon!) and I liked it quite a bit.

Tonks' frustration when the story started out is very well written, and how it gradually moved to hope. My favorite part was when you described the look in Remus' eyes when they met Tonks' in the hospital wing. Really, so touching, and so perfectly Remus!

I was actually sad to see the way Andromeda reacted. I know Ted Tonks came over to smoothe things out, but I always imagined her to be a kindly woman. But I expect the Black blood would still remain (as it did with Sirius). I liked her relationship with her father, how she is able to talk and open up to him, and how he explained her mother's concerns.

Remus' insecurites are, of course, not entirely baseless. But it's really so sad, that such a wonderful person should be subject to something so horrible :( I felt the conversation between him and Tonks in that scene could have flowed better. I mean, it was obvious she was being repetitive and he was being stubborn, but there seemed something lacking. Like maybe you could have described why he is choosing his heart over his better judgement.

"This sheepish-looking man was often the architect beyond some of their greatest schemes" - Truer words were never said :D

The conversation between Molly and Tonks was really sweet. I can see after the relationship she had with Andromeda, that she indeed turned to Molly as a mother figure, and she couldn't have found someone better for the role. I like how Molly talks about having Bill during war time. I think that was a nice touch.

There was one part I was confused: 'Remus leaned on his cane'. I'm fairly sure Lupin was never portrayed using a cane. Why was he limping? Was he hurt in some assigment given to him?

Also, when Tonks says 'dunno if I should tell him just yet Molly', that seems a little silly, considering she'll anyway have to tell him, if not then in a couple of months at least. Maybe it's just me being weird.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this story. Remus and Tonks forever! Sorry it took so long to get to it.


Author's Response: Hello Ysh and thanks for an amazing review once more. I am really really sorry for not being able to do your review sooner. Real-life and health both have been in the sewers lately and just the very act of getting off my bed and typing seemed like a chore. I'll make it up to you for the delay soon, don't worry.

Romance is something that doesn't really come very naturally to me, which made it all the more difficult for me to write about it. Especially when you consider that these two are practically my two favourite characters. I have tried to prescribe to canon as much as I could (Another habit we share)

About Remus leaning on his cane, I actually took David Thewlis's Lupin in my head and if I do remember correctly, he did use the cane in a few scenes of the movie. Makes some sense too. Man could very easily have hurt his legs during one of his transformations and a cane would be helpful.

Sorry for the delay about the swap. I shall be getting to it pretty soon.

Thanks a ton once more Ysh.


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Review #7, by alicia and anne Act I

10th January 2016:
Poor Tonks, being rejected by Remus again. BE PERSISTANT TONKS! YOU'LL WEAR HIM DOWN!!

I understand entirely why Remus is trying to keep his distance and not let himself fall for Tonks, but he deserves happiness!

Awww! He's holding her hand and I almost cheered outloud and punched the air because he's hoping and giving her a chance, finally!

I really love how you're showing their developing romance, just through small moments of them being there for each other, and that's brilliant. It's those small moments that show them falling in love with each other and it does a wonderful job of it, as well as Tonks sticking up for the relationship, especially with her own family, that's got to be so hard to do.

And of course it wouldn't be Tonks without her being clumsy :P

Aw Kingsley is his best man! This makes me so happy and also so devastated that Sirius or James would never be there (Well... they're totally there in spirit) I'm glad that Kingsley gave an epic speech, although would we expect anything else from him? :P

This was such a nice story, and I love your take on Tonks and Remus. You've done a wonderful job with this and I hope that you write more about those two!

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Review #8, by swiftie Act I

10th January 2016:
Great story. Loved it. :)

Author's Response: Thanks Swiftie

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Review #9, by mrspaulmccartney Act I

10th January 2016:
I've never read a Tonks/Remus before because I didn't ship them (yes I'm such a horrible person please don't eat me.) but this is making me consider reading more of this ship. :)

You're very good at writing emotions and I like that you used comfort to bond Tonks and Remus. :)

The ending is so cute! :D

“Call me Nymphadora once more and this talk is over,” Tonks shot back.
^Love that line. That's so Tonks.

"the dam of Tonks’ patience suddenly blew open"
^another great line. I love your similes and metaphors!

I love how you wrote Molly! Great characterisation!

There were just tiny mistakes that I noticed. Hope you don't mind if I point them out.

Here's a tiny typo I saw. "wounds nevertheless carried the curse of the lycantroph." It should be lycanthropy. :)

This one didn't make much sense to me. "...the years he had sent in Hogwarts." The years he had been sent to Hogwarts?
The years he had been allowed to Hogwarts?

Great writing! Can't wait to read more. :)

--Wren (stormynights on the forums)

Author's Response: Thanks Wren for a great review and all your wonderful praises.

About the first CC, I meant lycantroph to denote a person afflicted by lycantrophy. Technically a werewolf but I was tired of using the word so I used lycantroph. The second one I have already changed. Thanks for that one.

Hoping to hear more from you.

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