Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.






Reading Reviews for A Tale of Three Children
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by EnigmaticEyes16 Muggle-Born

28th April 2016:
Hey, Nix here for the Hot Seat!

I thought I'd check this one out because the summary made me very curious. I love the idea of writing about muggles witnessing magic and not knowing how to process it. Especially when they can't write it off as a figment of their imagination. Also, the part where he says he's not crazy and his mother had him checked as a kid immediately reminded me of Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory and I adore Sheldon, so I really wanted see what this story was about.

Okay, so this is even more interesting than I thought it was going to be! It sounds like Joey just might be a wizard himself, but was probably raised by muggle pairs and so has had no previous teachings about magic and wizards. I mean if he can keep his cereal bowl floating in midair so it doesn't fall off the table...

Although, I'm pretty sure, wizard or muggle, the Knight bus is probably going as too fast of a speed for anyone to really notice, as long as it's moving. And it's probably got charms to keep muggles from seeing it when it's not moving...

But now he's 12 and still hasn't received a letter. That's very strange. Oh, wait here's Hagrid! However, I'm a little surprised Hagrid is the one coming to this kid's house to inform him of Hogwarts. It seems not the best choice to have a half-giant in a muggle neighborhood. I would suspect a headmaster/headmistress or deputy headmaster/headmistress would be the best option. Harry was a different case of course, because Hagrid I think personally requested to fetch him and was also fetching him from a tiny island in the middle of the sea.

I kind of love Joey's parents' reactions though when Hagrid magically lifts him down the staircase. And the classic “You're a wizard!” All in all I thought this was a very enjoyable chapter and I can't wait to read what you come up with in the next chapters!

xxNix

 Report Review

Review #2, by MadiMalfoy Muggle-Born

29th February 2016:
Hello Wren! I'm here with the review you requested in my thread a little over a month ago! You were concerned about grammar, character development, and whether or not the story fits canon.

First of all, let me just say how cute of a story this is! It's always fun to explore canon a bit with an OC. That being said, I believe this story fits very well into canon! You've got Hagrid talking to the muggleborn family which is in line with canon and makes for a bit of fun for Joey. :)

Joey is such a cute character! A little boy who refuses to believe that the things that have happened around him/to him aren't purely from his imagination is a great quality that you conveyed very well! The only issue I have is that he is already 12 when Hagrid comes--the children are often contacted if they are 10 or 11 before the beginning of term. Unless you wanted him to be 12 since it's the year after the war so Hogwarts closed for a year to be rebuilt? If that's the case, perhaps make that a bit clearer. Otherwise, I think you've created a wonderful character in Joey here and his parents, the brief time they appear, as well.

With grammar, the only thing I really noticed was with your dialogue-- the end of the quote (if the tag with the speaker is at the end) should look like this if it is a statement without an exclamation point or a question mark: word," he said. There were a couple of spelling errors that can also be easily fixed with a quick reread. Your grammar is consistent throughout otherwise and nothing stuck out as a major problem, so good job with that!

As a whole, this was a fun little one-shot and I quite enjoyed it! Feel free to request for something else! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

 Report Review

Review #3, by adluvshp Muggle-Born

23rd February 2016:
Hey! Lost Muse here from the forums with your much delayed requested review.

Ooh I really enjoyed reading this! Your writing style is refreshing and engaging and pulled me right in. I liked how you described Joey seeing signs of the wizarding world and yet not being able to pinpoint why. Any normal clueless person would react like that and you have done a good job of showing it.

I absolutely loved the arrival of Hagrid and his pink umbrella. It made me grin, transporting me back to Philosopher's stone when Harry finds out he's a wizard. The reaction of the parents is very apt too and made me chuckle.

Your descriptions, grammar, and overall narrative looks good, and I didn't spot any glaring errors. The character of Joey looks interesting and I like how you've portrayed him so far. It'd be good to watch him grow as the story progresses.

Do keep writing! Great start to the story =)

Cheers,
Angie

 Report Review

Review #4, by NPE Muggle-Born

15th January 2016:
Hello, I am Elderflowers on the forums, but most people call me NPE or Nick.

This is genuinely fun.

I don't say that disparagingly, it's hard to give something a sort of light energy like this.

There is something really effective at how direct the prose is. It doesn't wallow in description or narrative musings, but takes you from A to B pretty quickly.

It is also how I would imagine a kid remembering it. The focus on Hagrid's size, the way it reads like "this happened - then this happened" almost.

There's an honesty to it.

I also enjoyed the assumptions he was crazy.

Definitely consider writing about Muggle-Borns and Hogwarts post the Second War, it is always a good subject area.

Even though I said I liked the prose style, my only recommendation would be making it more descriptive with more unique flourishes to the thought process of each character - if this story develops into longer chapters.

Best,

Nick ;)

 Report Review

Review #5, by ravenclaw_princess Muggle-Born

14th January 2016:
Hello. I'm here for your requested review.

I quite liked this piece. It so clearly shows the confusion of a muggle born wizard growing up and seeing magic all around him but not understanding it. When he was quite young, he would blurt out everything he sees, but as he grew older and wiser, he realised that this just made him sound crazy. But he knew he wasn't crazy and that what he was seeing was really there. He just didn't understand it.

I like the tone of this piece and it feels like it is coming from a 12-year-old. For a short piece, I can get a real sense of Joey's character. He's a bit bewildered by what's he's seeing, but he knows that he is seeing something. Lucky and answer comes to him in the form of Hagrid, but I sense that Joey is the type of person who would have gone seeking answers on his own. I think he will be a bit like Hermione actually.

I like the inclusion of canon events and I knew exactly what car he had seen, even before you described the occupants. This is a nice touch as it ties this tale into the greater story. From my recollection, what you describe is in canon with the books.

The story flows well and grammar was good. There are a few typo's in the story. Here are a couple of them, but there could be more so another read through would be good to tidy these up.
"Joey could hlonly (only) hope that the police"
"with a ling (long) bushy beard,"

This is a great start and you write really well. I'm interested to see what the other children are like. I'm more than happy to review additional chapter if you wish.

Jacqui

Author's Response: I'm really glad you like the story! The idea of including the canon events just suddenly struck my mind; I hadn't thought of that before! Although I had to calculate the years..xD.

I'll be sure to fix those typos! Gosh, those are so embarrassing. I typed the whole story up on my phone. Can you tell? I'm going to upload the second chapter in a while I think, so I'd appreciate your thoughts on that as well. Thanks again!


 Report Review

Review #6, by Mr Penn Muggle-Born

10th January 2016:
Hello Wren. It's Penn from the forum for our review swap. Let's get started shall we.

I was always interested in how the school shaped up after the Second War. As luck would have it, I guess I have stumbled upon just the piece.

A muggle-born is bound to be confused with all the crazy stuff that he can do. Nice you addressed that here.

I am very interested in how your story fashions out to be. Please do keep me in the loop. Would love to read what happens ahead.

-Mr Penn

Author's Response: Hello Penn! (i loved your story by the way :) )

I'm glad you're interested in my story. I was originally going to write this as a short story, the first chapter about a muggle-born, second about a half-blood with one wizard/witch parent, and the last (third chapter) about a pureblood. If you're interested in the school after the war, should I make another fic based on the lives of these three? I'm suddenly interested in doing that! :)

Thanks for the review Penn!


 Report Review

Review #7, by Ignis the Imp Muggle-Born

6th January 2016:
Hello there! Hmm, Joey looks like a lot of fun with the things he does, the sort of boy I'd be friends with. I wonder if he would help me play pranks when he gets to Hogwarts?

I really liked the part about Joey not being crazy and knowing that he isn't crazy. It reminded me of Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory. I don't think Sheldon would like my pranks quite as much as Joey, though.

It makes sense that his parents would worry about him having problems if they think he's hallucinating. It's not a very easy thing to explain! I liked the way that it tied into canon with Joey having seen Ron and Harry in the car as well.

The traces of magic were pretty cool! It would be nice to stop a doctor giving you an injection you don't want. And I was confused at first because he was 12 and not at Hogwarts yet but then it turned out that he was one of the children who didn't get their letter during the war.

I'm so glad Hagrid turned up, like he did when Harry started school. Hagrid is a good friend of mine. He isn't good at mischief because he's so loud and clumsy, unfortunately, but he helps me out with ideas and props sometimes. I'm sure he'll help Joey out too when he starts school!

Ignis the Imp

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Ignis! I'm really glad you like my story. I did base Joey off of Sheldon Cooper! (big TBBT fan here tbh)

I didn't initially think about adding canon events, but I thought it would be funny, haha. Although I had to do a bit of maths to figure out how old Joey would be.

And yes, Hagrid is such a kind person! Thanks for the review, Ignis! :)


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login