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Reading Reviews for Fall
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Secret Cupid ....1

15th February 2016:
Hello Lia!

I hope you enjoyed(ing) your
Valentine's Day. I sort of jumped to
some of your more recent works and am
here to spread some more love around.

This was a brilliant story. Although
I knew what was going to happen in
the end, it still kept me on the
edge.

You set up the scene beautifully
right from the first line. I could
easily imagine a dark and dangerous
forest through which a girl dressed
in an ornate dress ran for her life.
I could feel Helena's feeling of
dread and desparation to run away.

Baron is surely a maniac. I mean one
moment he is professing his love and
the next he kills her love. I was
reminded of the crazy obsessive
lovers shown in crime shows. Haha!

The best part of the story was the
way you concluded it. I loved these
lines: ‘You had been killed by a
fall, a fall unlike that from a horse
or a tree, but an emotional one. It
was a fall of the heart into another
place, a place that had rendered your
lover blind to reason.’ 

Everything fit in well with what we
know from canon. I am so happy I am
reading and reviewing all these
lovely stories by you.

xoxo
Secret Cupid

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this story, I was a little worried about how it would come across. Thank you for those comments.

Lea xx


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Review #2, by Jo Raskoph ....1

27th January 2016:
Dear Slytherin Eagle!

This was dark and creepy and so, so good!
I like your writing in general – you find/maintain a good balance between description and action. I’ve hardly ever read a piece of writing in second person that I enjoyed; you pulled that off very successfully.
But you’ll find that I liked pretty much everything about this, so I’ll come right out and say it. Here are some lines I particularly liked and what I liked about them:
„… he held onto to you as though you were simply a bag of flour.“ I love how this comparison says he treats her like a thing without spelling it out. And then you leave the small leap from thing to possession to the reader, but it is all there in your writing from the very beginning.

„… as you trip over nothing …“ What a (I’m running out of appreciative adjectives I haven’t used yet) symbolic picture—one can take it as foreboding, as meaning that her coming fall is caused by ‚nothing‘—which is absolutely fitting!—,by someone who didn’t even think they wanted her to fall, who had every reason not to make her fall. One can take it to mean that she could not get away, no matter what she did, when even nothing caused her to fall. I’m marvelling at your words …

„He stroked his fingers delicately over your eye lids …“ That was creepy! In a way as if she were dead already and also so very intrusive, when she shuts her eyes to shut him out and he doesn’t even leave her that escape; a powerful picture.

„He screams as the full weight of his actions fall onto him.“ (Quoting this to congratulate you on the recurring and precise use of your title ‚theme‘.)

„Begging him not to, you struggled to sit up. Blood gushes from you wound and you choke, lying back down.“ Oh I hope so much that I’m not reading too much into all of this when you only wanted it to mean she was weakening. But this follows after he repeats „sorry“ over and over and what I’d love to believe that it means is: She wants to tell him to live on/forgive him, but she can’t because he has already hurt her too much. (And isn’t that just amazing?! How do you come up with these?)

I think I’ll stop now, but I could probably quote any sentence back to you and be amazed by its meaning.

One main reason I enjoyed reading this so much is how you wrote this without making suicide/murder sound romantic; what a feat! All the signs of an abusive relationship; there so many in this brief description of their last encounter.

Then of course you wrote this: „It was a fall of the heart into another place, a place that had rendered your lover blind to reason.“ This is so beautiful and disturbing.
I was struggling at first with how you use the terms of love and falling in love for their relationship but then I realised that this is a case of „it is what it is“: It is love, it is abuse, it is not romantic. All in one and each one valid.
It’s said to be defining quality of good writing that it leaves you thinking for a while after you finished reading and your piece does that!

Right now I’m wracking my brain for a piece of constructive criticism, but maybe I’ll leave that to the experienced writers on here – from a readers point of view there is nothing that comes to mind.

To conclude my praise: The challenge was to kill your character and you could not have done it in a more meaningful, more charming (yes it was disturbingly charming in a dark, twisted fashion), more emotional way.

Kudos to you for sharing this!
And I really hope you have a good day today. Happy birthday! :)

Yours most impressed,
Jo

Author's Response: Aww, thankyou so much Jo!!!

Waking up knowing that this was waiting for me was the best feeling in the world, and then I got on here and read this and it turned out to make me even happier than I already was!

I'm glad you enjoyed it so much and thankyou for the praise. I'm glad I made you think ;)

Lea xx


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Review #3, by Ignis the Imp ....1

4th January 2016:
Hello there!

I was making my way through the archives when I stumbled across this magnificent story of yours!

What a dark story this was. So full of emotion. It's a very sad tale, that of Helena Ravenclaw. Overshadowed by her mother, her life taken from the man who loved her, yet she could not bring herself to love. Tragic. Very, very tragic.

I thought you did a spectacular job showing the fear and resentment Helena felt towards the Baron. It almost felt as if she hated him, yet also pitied him in a way. And the crazed, obsessive love that the Baron had for her was portrayed so well. It left me feeling exceptionally uneasy.

The atmosphere here was written flawlessly. The entire time my heart felt like it was racing. I hoped that she would get away, but sadly we all know that her story comes to a bloody end.

This was a wonderfully written oneshot. You have done a great job here, my dear! I'm glad that I happened to stumble upon it during my wanderings. :)

Ignis the Imp

Author's Response: Why thank you, Ignis! You review is much appreciated.

Lea xx


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