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Reading Reviews for Making the Reserves
  
38 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage Making Mr. Wood's Good Books

27th April 2017:
Here for CTF!

And interesting story there, seeing as i only jumped in here and hadn't read the rest. I must say i find it utterly hilarious that Molly is playing Quidditch, and i find it hugely interesting that Harry doesn't speak about Quidditch all that often. I mean, i get that it;s about Ginny most of the time because she played for the Harpies and works as an editor, but honestly, half her uncles have played Quidditch and Harry was a natural at it too. It makes me wonder why he never really spoke about it and I hope it's gonna be explained someday later.
That being said I also really enjoy the fact that there was an actual match in this game and that it absolutely isnt easy on Molly at all, given with her parents' expectations and especially the sentence that is actually so Percy as it is.
The relationships she has with the other players is also very nice and it's refreshing to see not all of them are nice too and think her name has got to do with a lot of things. And the fact that they actually didn't win was also a very nice touch as well, because many of the writers would sneak in a win as well. I felt like it worked better that they lost.
The end bit also very made me laugh when it came to unforgiving stuff, so really well done job there!

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Review #2, by Claire Evergreen Making Mr. Wood's Good Books

27th April 2017:
Hey, Lo! Here for CTF :)

Man oh man, has it been forever since I read this story and I'm just as in love as ever. First off, that Quidditch match? A work of goshdarn magnificence. I will admit to having written my fair share of Quidditch stories, but man, I've never written one that is as good as that. Honestly, it was probably better than the ones in canon because it was from the point of view of a Chaser not a Seeker. I know sometimes I find myself skimming Quidditch scenes because they get a bit repetitive, but in a story like this, there was so much there beyond just Quidditch. I felt like I got more a sense of everyone's personalities by the way that they that played, especially Minh and Viki (both of who I want to know so much more about rn).

Also, sidenote, man, I love Oliver Wood so gash darn much, it's ridiculous. He's one of those characters who I kind of forget about and then BAM there they are again. You really locked down his personality there, I like that he was the one to bring up Harry.

Also, I love love love love Viki. Can she be my best friend? Pretty please? She seems so sweet and nice and just the kind of person who I love. So we're going to be best friends now, k? Good :P

Absolutely in love with this story Lo! So good to be back!

Claire

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Review #3, by mymischiefmanaged Making First String

17th September 2016:
Lo! I somehow managed to forget that I'd already reviewed chapter 1 of this wonderful story so sorry about that, but I'm here for chapter 2!

Oo I love this story. Your Molly is such a mixture of different things and it's brilliant. She's obviously a risk taker and a little bit mad, but then at the same time she's reserved at points and feels uncomfortable in certain situations. And then she obviously doesn't reveal that to other people because she seems to get on so well with everyone else. I'm looking forward to seeing how she develops.

Juliette seems lovely. I'm glad that Molly has such a strong friendship so quickly.

There were quite a lot of names going on in this chapter and I found it a bit tricky to keep track of them all, but I'm very impressed by how well you've developed all your characters so quickly. I think that something's going to happen between Molly and Reid, but at the same time I kind of hope it doesn't because I like him lots just as a friendly character. And I want Cedric moments.

I'm really excited about this story. I haven't read much about Molly and everything you've done here is really original and exciting.

Looking forward to coming back for chapter 3!

Emma xx

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Review #4, by victoria_anne Making Mr. Wood's Good Books

6th September 2016:
I forgot how much I love this story, so I'm super glad you requested!

NO, MOLLY, NO. You are a good Quidditch player! Don't listen to those jealous girls!

Bless Cedric, he's so sweet!

I love the way you write the actual game. It's a pleasure to read, and I can't say that about all Quidditch fics I've read. You do an amazing job of balancing description and action and internal thoughts.

I also love the moves and their names. Did you come up with those yourself? They're so great!

Eek! That cloud surfing came in handy after all, that was AWESOME! Ha ha and Oliver remembered! I'm pretty sure I mentioned Harry doing it in my last review.

Is it weird that I have a bad feeling about Vicki? I could be paranoid, I don't know, but she seems cool for now.

I really hope that you get back into this story, Lo. I know I'm not the only one who loves it. I think every chapter moves the characters and plot along nicely, and though you have quite a few characters, they're all very distinct so it's easy to keep track.

Well done!

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Review #5, by marauderfan Making Mr. Wood's Good Books

31st August 2016:
EVEN MORE GIFT TAG!

Aw, yeah the divisions of teams would totally make a divide socially as well. I hope Molly doesn't get too much grief about being in first string. I felt bad for her that she thought it was because of her name rather than her talent - that would be tough, as she is trying to make a name for herself when Weasley is already such a big name in Quidditch.

Woohoo! Quidditch! I thought you did a great job writing the game. I always feel I'm rubbish at writing Quidditch matches but you do a great job of putting the reader in Molly's mind and seeing what she's seeing during the game.

I can't believe she stood on her broom during the game. Like... danger aside, it would make you go slower! But I guess it's worth it for the shock value, and how easily it distracts the other team - no one would be expecting that sort of stunt at all. And attracting the attention of recruiters looking for people who stand out. So that was effective, for sure, and strategic thinking on her part. But like... leaping off your broom mid-game and then summoning it while you free fall?? That girl is fearless. :O

I really like Vicki. She seems nice, and I love how easily she and Molly click. And, maybe I'm reading too much into it but the way she was kind of shy and blushing around Molly, and the nervous hair twirling... I ship them. I know you had a poll going on the forums about which guy Molly should be with but I say Vicki. :D There's chemistry there, I see it!

*climbs into canoe and raises flag* This ship is sailing! Don't worry I have a bucket to bail out water just in case

Omg that professor just told them that PS, YOU ONLY HAVE FOUR MONTHS INSTEAD OF NINE UNTIL YOU TAKE YOUR NEWTS! MUAHAHA SURPRISE?! that would be the worst. I can't imagine having that kind of news dropped on me and I feel bad for the students. Especially because Molly HAS to get outstandings on her NEWTS now that she got that new broom. :P

Wonderful chapter!!

And on to the next one :D

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Review #6, by marauderfan Making First String

29th August 2016:
Thank goodness for Cedric to shout some sense at her. Seriously, going that fast and standing on her broom... it's like balancing on a speeding twig 50 feet above the ground. I'm not surprised that she fell off.

Good for her friends for having lightning quick reflexes though. Omg, that must have been so terrifying for everyone involved.

Aw, I kind of feel bad for the people who only made Second String. like, clearly they're exceptional Quidditch players or they wouldn't be there, and they're there to be good at Quidditch, but only day 1 and the authority figures are already saying they're not likely to be chosen for reserve teams. :( Are second string able to advance when they improve? I guess they have to separate people somehow though. If people are able to move up to first string, it sounds a bit like the system of varsity/JV, so I like how you kind of adapted that - but yeah it'd be hard when there's only seven slots!
*is too much of a Hufflepuff for any sort of divisive competition*

you do a really good job of writing the teenage mindset, and I find your characters really believable. Everything from their rebellious disregard of rules (whether it's about broom safety or about using fake ID's), to the way friendships are formed and disintegrate, they feel like real people, and to me, characters are the most important part of any story.

This is a great chapter! I love the way you've continued to develop the world of Oakshaft Academy and the culture of the students there. Lovely work, Lo :)

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Review #7, by marauderfan Making it to the Academy

29th August 2016:
Hi Lo! (haha. does this joke get old to you?) Anyway, I'm here from the gift tag!

Oh no, falling dreams are the worst! Especially when you're a Quidditch player, I imagine.

Watching a quidditch match with the Weasley family would be quite an event, with everyone so loud about their own team, and with so many teams in the mix! Makes me wonder who gave her the Magpies t-shirt when she was a kid.

Your characterization is stellar, btw! I love how you've introduced Molly and her mother and even in only a few short sentences I feel like I know them. Her family are all super sweet! Also LOL at Percy for essentially bribing his daughter with a really great broom to remind her to get E's and O's on her NEWTs :P

I found the bit about Fleur's saint necklace really interesting, and I love that you included that. I don't often see religion of any kind mentioned in HP fanfic, so I thought what you did with that was really cool and I like the way you show these things about the characters rather than tell.

You also do a really good job describing that feeing of anxiousness and excitement that comes before something big like going to a new school or a new phase of your life, particularly when you're on the way there.

I love that you mentioned how her Aunt Ginny is even more of a big deal there than Harry is. Everyone always remarks on how Harry is important and famous, but it's nice to see Ginny getting some of that glory (as she should, in a fic about Quidditch!) :D

Leave it to Percy to know all about which brooms are the safest!

Aw, I love how quickly she and Juliette became friends. It kind of feels like camp in a way

I have to say I love your world-building. You've included just the right amount of detail that I can clearly imagine what the school looks like, and the way you've come up with their different names for things (the Canteen) and stuff, it's so well formed already and you did a great job with that.

If it's okay to give you some cc, I noticed that the first four paragraphs (after the dream) all begin with the word I. If you go back to edit, maybe that'd be something to mix up a little just for sentence variety, but it's not really important.

And here: the sleek shape causing my breath to be taken away -- this seemed unnecessarily wordy/in passive voice, I think it might sound better as just "the sleek shape took my breath away".

Okay that's it for cc, I honestly loved the rest of it. What a great start to this fic! I can't wait to read more!

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Review #8, by Penelope Inkwell Making it to the Academy

7th May 2016:
Hey Lo!

Told you I was gonna make my way over to this! Took me a while, but I'm finally here, and I'm glad I made it. it's been a while since I've gotten my Quidditch fic fix in, and longer since I can remember reading a Molly Weasley-centric story.

I like that you started the story right off with a bang. I honestly thought the dream was real, and I had already been sucked in. When she awoke in bed later, at first I assumed she was in the Hospital Wing, or St. Mungo's--it all seemed so real! I was legitimately relieved to realize that she was fine. Whew.

The way you characterized her family was sweet, too. Audrey sounded so elegant, sweet, and soft-spoken. It seems like she's a good match to Percy's intensity, though it's clear that they love her very much. And it seemed like Molly and Lucy have a pretty solid relationship as well. I remembered from your one-shot that Percy was very N.E.W.T. focused and not so very into the Quidditch thing, so I was really pleased to see that, despite all that, Molly's family is clearly supportive of her interests.

This is a good scene for background, where we're kind of figuring out how Molly fits in. I don't yet know a ton about her, but I do feel like I got some details: Quidditch obsessed (obviously), lazy about cleaning, she cares for her family, and she seems to be a very realistic mix of embarrassed and used to it when it comes to the hype over her famous family. I think the best characterization we see here, though, is Molly's absolute rapture over her new broom. The length of the descriptive paragraph, as well as the adjectives you use, clearly convey that this is a VERY BIG DEAL to her.

Your writing style is wonderfully visual--I felt like I could see anything, and you included some really great details. One of these was when Molly mentions the thick grey door propped open with the rock. I know that's a super minor thing, but it's a detail a lot of writers wouldn't have seen fit to include. However, that's exactly what the door-rock combination at my old dorm building used to be like, and I was like, "Yes! Every moving day in every dorm I've ever lived in! That's a thing!" It's super tiny, but it's the details like that that really give us a sense of place. You're probably starting to think I'm crazy for going on and on about a rock, but my point is, A+ on visual details.


CC: I always try to give a bit of CC, as a rule, but obviously you're the author; you'll know best what works for your story.

I froze, listening to see if I had woken anyone up but since I didn’t hear any movement from down the hall, I started to put everything back in the large duffle, careful to put back the child’s t-shirt in the hidden pocket at the bottom of it.
--I believe there should be a comma after "up", before "but".

Hazel twigs were smoothened out at the end,
--I think "smoothened" ought to be "smoothed". Smoothen is a word, but I don't think it has a past-tense? I couldn't find it in the dictionary, anyway. Of course, if it's a regional thing, just ignore me on that!

well hers now, along with her Turbo XVX
--there should be a comma behind "well"

It would keep me safe in the air, and hopefully while I was taking my N.E.W.T.s I fingered the golden chain as my father drove...
--I think there needs to be a period after the s in N.E.W.T.s, since the next bit seems to be a separate sentence.



I'm very interested to see what Oakshaft Academy will end up being like. I can tell you've given it a lot of thought, and I look forward to meeting the rest of the main characters and learning a little more about what the school has to offer. It'll be interesting to see how things shake out with Molly's team. I wonder if they have rivals? Traditions? A Quidditch academy is such a fun idea, and I've never seen anything like it. Looking forward to seeing where this story is going to go.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention my favorite quote!

“I’ll be damned if I let Mother Nature pull one over on me...I was determined not to let some hippie woman with a flower crown decide whether I was going to play or not.

Good work with this first chapter! I enjoyed it.

--Penny

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Review #9, by Claire Evergreen Making First String

3rd April 2016:
*hides behind couch* Okay, so I know that we agreed to swap ages ago (weeks at least, I have no clue anymore), but I am just horrifically bad at getting anything done, so I am just now getting here and I am so so so so so sorry that it's taken so long.

Anyway, you already know that I love this story completely and there's very little that's going to persuade me otherwise, but I'll say it again. I absolutely love the premise you have set up for this story. Seeing how all of these insanely talented and competitive kids interact within the school is going to be so cool!

Okay, so this part is going to get really rambly, but bear with me. I think you've absolutely nailed the way each person on the team interacts with each other. I do IHSA, which is horseback riding in college, and it's pretty similar to what you have set up here. We're a team, but we compete as individuals to get our points, which is a lot like the Oakshaft kids playing on a team, but essentially competing for spots on professional teams. You nailed the tensions between teammates beautifully. I know that we all try to support each other, but there are times when I just really wanted to show or my friend beat me by one placing and knocked me out of year end awards. I obviously supported them, but there was that little bit of me that was upset. You've really set that up well and I can't wait to see where you take it!

Lo, you have me torn. I had already pegged Cedric as the one that I'm going to fall in love with and then you have to go and introduce Reid? Come on, now, don't do this to me. But seriously, you have the best characterizations ever. This is such a large ensemble cast, but you pull it off beautifully. Everyone is so fleshed out already. There's no way that I would already be struggling with who I love more or who to ship Molly with (I think I'm going to stick with Cedric/Molly, but I wouldn't be opposed to a little Reid/Molly first :P) if your writing wasn't as fantastic as it was.

This is so good, Lo! I can't wait to check out the edited chapters as soon as I get the time :)

Claire

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Review #10, by Yoshi_Kitten Making First String

2nd April 2016:
Hello again, back for chapter 2!! I couldn't put this story down!! This chapter was even better than the last. I love how their characterization is all progressing. I'm beginning to like Daisy a lot tho, lol. She clearly has great hair, plus she's crazy and fun. To be honest, her character reminds me a lot of a friend that I had back in High School. And boy did her and I ever get into some trouble back in our teenage days, lol! And then Cheri is a lightweight, like I am, so I definitely felt a connection with her there, haha!! XD

All of them feel very real to me already though, the whole entire group. And I love watching such close friendships be made!! I mean, they already have this unspoken bond over flying; and then they have this freaky accident on the way to the bar, bringing them even closer. (Molly is crazy, btw, but I loved it when she was cloud surfing!! That whole scene was so beautifully written.) Then they all reach their destination and finally let lose at the bar, and everyone just fits so well together. Their conversations are so smooth, and it feels like they've all known each other for a long time. Their love of the game has made them all instant friends, and I just love the dynamic in their little group so much!!

The conversation between Molly & Cedric in the bar, where they were joking with one another and she claimed Reid as her new “knight on a shining broomstick” was my favorite part!! It made me laugh so much when he caught her kiss and played along, lol!!! (And then it was even more amusing when she woke up next to him the following morning, haha!!) That whole conversation was brilliant though. Your dialogue is just as well written as your descriptive writing, and it just makes this whole thing so incredibly good!! It feels like reading an actual book, as apposed to reading fanfiction. I am so in love with this story already!! ♥

Can we just take a moment to appreciate how much of a gentleman Reid is?!? OMG!!! I was all for shipping Molly/Cedric, but now Idk because Molly/Reid would be really cute together also. Their breakfast scene was adorable, and I loved it when he was revealed to be a secret Magpies fan also!! Either way it goes, I know that she will up becoming really close friends with whichever man she doesn't actually end up with. So there's always that to look forwards to. But how is she ever going to chose between the two of them? Maybe one of them will secretly like boys so that she doesn't have to pick between the two, lol! ;)

The scene at the end was really good too, and I especially like it when each of the girls introduced one another and stated what school they were from. One quick question about the guy's team though. Is it supposed to be Dias or Dais?? Because you keep switching the spelling back and forth between the two names, and it was a bit confusing. Nothing too major though, just something you may wanna read back over and correct really quick. Everything else was perfect though, as usual.

I was holding my breath right along with Molly there at the ending!! I honestly wasn't sure which way you were gonna go with it. I'm sure her hangover didn't put her at her best during the practice/secret audition, so she easily could have gotten put on the second string and it still would have been totally believable. I do sense a rivalry coming on between her and Jessica though. I'm sure that'll be interesting to read too!! GAH!! I wish I wasn't stuck at work ALL DAY today, that way I could read the rest of it without stopping, lol!!! REALLY great writing, Lo!! I will come back to read the rest asap!!! =D

~Deana~

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Review #11, by Yoshi_Kitten Making it to the Academy

2nd April 2016:
Hey Lo, RoxiMalfoy from the forums here for our review swap!! And I must say; it's kind of funny that our swaps this time around are both stories about Percy, but like total opposites of each other, lol.

But OMGosh, wow!! What did I just read?!? This is certainly not at all what I was expecting! But I absolutely loved it!!! Right from the beginning you grabbed my attention, and then managed to keep hold of it all the way through til the end!! This story is already SO exciting!! I love the way you have created your own Quidditch Universe within the HP Universe that we already know and love so much. It is very believable, and everything just fits in so extremely well!!

I love all of the new characters you have introduced so far, especially Cedric. I cannot wait to see what progresses between he and Molly (or perhaps maybe even Juliette?) as time goes on. Seriously, all of your introductions throughout this first chapter were flawless!!! And the way that you described this new school was amazing!! I could visualize everything so clearly in my head. Everything flowed so well together, and the pacing was perfect. Your writing is SO GOOD, Lo!!! I cannot wait to read more of this!!!

The only tiny bit of CC that I can give here is to maybe watch repeating some of the same words so close together. For example, at the very beginning when she is having that nightmare, you used the word “sky” twice in a row. And then it happened again when she was talking to Cedric at the end. You used the word “fiery” to describe her hair two times in a row also. I know I saw this happening one other time in the middle as well, but now I can't find it. But that/s really the ONLY thing that I noticed though, for real. Everything else was pretty much perfect!!

I could probly rave on and on until I reach the character-limit for this review about how amazing this first chapter is, but I think I would rather just go on and read the next chapter now, lol!! Thank so much for the swap tho, cuz Idk if I ever would have come across this story otherwise!!! Adding it to my favorites and reading on right now!! =D

~Deana~

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Review #12, by dreamgazer220 Making Mr. Wood's Good Books

1st April 2016:
Hi Lo! Here for our review swap :)

This was a fantastic, Quidditch-filled chapter. Of course, that only makes sense since that's a huge part of the story, but it was nice to see everyone playing the game. I've never tried to write the game before, but you did an amazing job describing everything that was happening while keeping me engaged throughout the whole scene. I'm glad that Molly didn't end up getting hurt or anything like that because that would have been very unfortunate.

AND A GUEST APPEARANCE BY WOOD!! I mean, of course I figured out that Cedric was Oliver's son, but it was still nice to see him in person! And Molly getting so excited that she impressed him was adorable, and definitely something that would happen to anyone. It was a nice touch of realism there.

And a new friend in Vicki! She seems fun, and I hope we'll get to see more of her in future chapters.

This was another really well done chapter, and I'm glad that we got a chance to swap!

Keep up the great work! :)
~Jill

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Review #13, by NPE Making First String

21st March 2016:
Hi :)

Let me preface my review with an apology. I wrote this about a week back but for some absurd reason forgot to send it. My review has just laid dormant on a word file with several others I forgot to send.

So apologies for the delay in the review swap, I know I should have sent you this a fortnight ago, but I completely forgot. Sorry.

Anyway here is what I wrote - best,

Nick.

"Hey Lo,

Cheers for agreeing to the swap.

So the premise of this story is great. I enjoy how it is a mixture of like an old school hangout movie, teen drama, and yet also with a cool premise about quidditch

The dialogue feels pretty organic, the descriptive terms feel very specific to the singular identity that narrates the story, she already has a sense of character to her which is really impressive.

I am enjoying the characters that she interacts with, I am genuinely curious to see where it all leads.

I think you get the balance between tension and cliche perfect too. Like the fact there is only one slot left as chaser could feel too narratively convenient, but in this case it makes her desire to succeed considerably more palpable.

I agree with one of the reviewers who said that the background to some of the friendships she has aren't clear, but I don't know if that is intentional or not.

I also think that occasionally you could have description where you just direct us to visualise something.

Example:

"Heather finished, her tone so much different than her usual bubbly personality"

What is this tone? What does it sound like? Do the changes affect other parts of personality, are there other physical tells?

I really like the story, and how you have structured it.

I love how it feels like a flow of memories and the narrative is masterfully done here.

Best,

Nick"

^ So yeah that was my review, apologies you have had it so late.

Hope it doesn't put you off swapping with me again sometime x

Nick

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Review #14, by Jayna Making First String

8th March 2016:
Hey there Lo! I'm so sorry for how long it's taken me to finish our swap, I had definitely thought I would get time before now. Anyway, this was definitely an action-packed chapter!

First, a couple of things I liked were Molly's reaction when there was only one Chaser spot left on first string. It definitely helped make her character more relatable and it showed the reader one more reason why she wanted it so much, one more reason that she had done all she had done for Quidditch. In addition, that was another great twist that I think will make for some interesting relationships between the girls that did make first string and those that didn't. I had been starting to wonder why there were so many characters if there were only 7 on a team, and why Molly referred to someone as 'one of the other chasers', even though with Juliette, that would be the third and last chaser, not another. So basically, what I'm trying to say is that in a sports school as competitive as this one seems to be, it feels really realistic and helps answer some unexplained questions.

I really liked the whole scene where the teens were partying. It totally felt real, and totally like something a bunch of kids at a 7th year boarding school would do. I especially liked this one line, 'At some point we began to run, our laughs disappearing amongst the trees we passed, teenage antics dissolving in the wind.' It sounded super poetic and helped create that carefree atmosphere that you were going for.

The one thing that didn't seem quite right was how Molly and Juliette seemed to be best friends after what felt like (in story time) about a day. However, as I read I think I realized that this was not right after the first chapter. Maybe make the passing of time a little more evident?

Last, I loved the scene with Reid. I loved how they were comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. The only problem is that now the shipper in me is confused. Cedric/Molly? Reid/Molly? On one hand, Cedric is just about adorable and they've known each other for a while, and on the other, Reid's a new person that seems to have some chemistry with her. Argh, I'm so confused.

Anyway, great job on this chapter overall! Excited to see where the next one goes! Once again, I'm so sorry for the lateness of this swap, but hopefully this slightly longer-than-normal review will help make up for it. :)

-Jayna

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Review #15, by TidalDragon Making First String

6th March 2016:
We meet again!

This chapter, I will say, felt a touch rushed to me overall, I think owing more to the very end than the meat of it. While the earlier portions followed on seamlessly from the end of the last chapter and the social setting gave you great freedom to introduce some characters, play with initial dynamics, and generally weave the delightful patterns you do with dialogue and social interactions, defining first string at the end of it somehow felt as if it had been appended despite the chapter title.

That begin said, I thought the chapter as a whole was strong, not just for the reasons I mentioned above, but because you used an otherwise purely social setting to inject some nice action that demonstrated a small part of how Molly is special and WHY she's here aside from her dream, her family, and the fact that the story demands it. I think that was necessary not just for establishing her character at this moment, but also because you have strings getting established very quickly. Personally, I think it would be nice to see something more of the characters from a Quidditch perspective over time before that happened, but for now I will keep the faith in the system you've established in that regard and see how it plays out.

Thanks for sharing this with all of us - I truly think it's going to be an awesome story!

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Review #16, by TidalDragon Making it to the Academy

6th March 2016:
Howdy Lo!

First off, I'm excited to actually take some time to read this! I've been absolutely awful about reading fics outside my thread and swaps recently, but I'm turning over an...old...leaf I guess once again, starting with your story.

The first thing I notice was really minor, but I think it jumped out because it was right at the beginning in Molly's nightmare. In this line: “I’ll be damned if I let Mother Nature pull one over on me. Claws, to the sky and fly like the ravens you are!” she used to shout into the sky. You used the word sky twice really close together. If I had to pick I'd choose the second one to change as keeping "sky" in the first makes it more quotable I think, but anyway, it's really neither here nor there.

Having seen (and really contributed mostly nothing, so I'm feeling like my A/N mention is totally undeserved :p) your outline, I definitely wondered how you'd make the transition here and how you weave in all the complexities of the universe within the universe we already know. I thought you did a really great job with that here from Molly's little bits about broomstick components to the references to her having been classified as a "Holyhead Legacy" that give us an idea of how players might get assigned at OQA...it was really neat.

I also thoroughly enjoyed the return of your strong descriptions. It was a quick reminder of how well you paint a picture without being excessively verbose or ostentatious with your language.

See you in Chapter 2!

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Review #17, by Jayna Making it to the Academy

6th March 2016:
For the HPFF Review-A-Thon!

Hey there Lo, I'm here for our review swap (I'm pretty sure. I guess I signed up for way too many review swaps before going to bed and now I can't remember who I have swaps with and who reviewed me because I posted a link on their status. Anyway...)

Okay, so I'm kind of sad that this story only has two chapters so far because I can already tell that this is going to be one of those stories that I just can't put down (or close the tab on or whatever :p), so I'll definitely be back once I review everybody else who I owe a review to. So anyway, I don't really have any CC, so I'll just list some of the things I liked about this story.

First of all, you did a brilliant job of getting all the set up into this chapter. I mean, we've gotten to know the MC, we know the cast of supporting characters, and we know the setting. To me that means that this story is going at a really good pace. In addition to that, your flow is AMAZING. It is to be coveted and studied until everyone can write with flow like yours. I think those two things combined are a huge part of what make this feel like the first chapter of a novel I would get from the library or something.

In addition, I also thought that setting this story at a wizarding school of your own creation was really creative. In addition, from what we've seen of this school so far, it seems richly imagined and it's interesting to think that the wizarding world has the same kinds of sports institutes as we do.

Anyway, great job overall, I loved seeing Cedric Wood, and I can't wait to follow Molly through this entirely new kind of magical school. :)

-Jayna

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Review #18, by Owlpost68 Making First String

6th March 2016:
This chapter, oh my gosh I love it. The only 2 things I really picked out were: "giving use" should be 'us' and "But that’s to say..." 'not to say' when they were talking about cute boys. I was sort of thinking that the cloud surfing could have been something she had learned from Harry. Remember in the first movie that's how they had him catch the snitch? It would also make it a little more personal and involve her family again. I like what you did with her waking up the next morning and Reid being a complete gentleman. I know the story is kinda setting up her and Cedric, but I like the idea of her and Reid as well. You really described her love for flying in the cloud surfing bit too, it was beautifully written. I really hope I get to write some flying scenes in my story too. I love the wind anyway and want to write that :)
I almost forgot to mention the coach named Heather! She actually sounds a lot like me so I'm really happy about that since it's my name too lol. Great job!
Written for the Review-a-thon.

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Review #19, by Aphoride Making it to the Academy

6th March 2016:
Hey there, Lo! :) Dropping by for our review swap for the HPFF Review-a-thon! :D

I love Quidditch stories - they're so fun and so interesting, and there's a great potential for clashes between commitment to the sport and to other things, romantic lives or classes or other interests, and, really, this is such a gem of a story.

I love your characters - how Molly's so excited about going to Quidditch Academy, and seeing Puddlemere United there (though I was a little confused as to whether or not they were actually there, and whether Jackie is a professional or what. But that may well just be me :P), and how she's so nervous the evening before. It's so natural and so real, and this gives such a perfect start for character development later on - you've set up such a great platform here! :)

Also, just as a thing: I love the idea of a Quidditch specialising academy - it makes a lot of sense; in a lot of countries (though, tbh, not usually in the UK) kids who are good at sports go to academies to help that, and especially in the wizarding world, it makes sense for them to set it up. And I love how you don't make it too much exactly like Hogwarts - give it its own twist and its own character! :)

Your writing in this is so, so lovely too - you have this way of writing so vividly and yet so cleanly and so well; it has this lovely quality to it I can't really put my finger on, but I love it nonetheless. It's so good, and that first section especially - with the dream where she thinks she's falling - it's so, so good and so emotive. You're so good at pulling absolutely everything possible out of every word you write. Which, you know, is a real skill ;)

I love this - it's an amazing start, such a great set up and world-within-a-world you've built here, and I'm so so curious to see where you go with it - the romance, the competition, the choices... it's so good and I've really, really got to remember to check in on this story again later :)

Aph xx

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Review #20, by Owlpost68 Making it to the Academy

6th March 2016:
Wow, it was really fun to read your Author's note and see how many people are involved with this story! Your ideas are what make it come to life though, so it's a really good! I love the idea that there's a finishing school for quidditch players, I think it makes tons of sense! I have to say I really felt that emotional pull when I read that Cedric must be Wood's son, such a good idea. There were a few times where I felt you used a word too many times in the same paragraph. For example, in the beginning you said her old coach yelled at the sky saying something, and then repeated she yelled at the sky outside the quotation marks. That and there was an awkwardly worded phrase: "smoothened out" I think is not technically a word and would be fine as 'smoothed' without the "out" part.
I also really loved the description of her family connections, who she was close to and still thinking of them when she got there. Too often I read about Percy's family and they're all described as kind of aloof. I don't agree with that either, after what happened to Percy I think he'd have a better grasp on family values and you really brought it to life here.
Great job, on to the next chapter

This was written for the Review-a-thon
-Heather

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Review #21, by Musing Making it to the Academy

6th March 2016:
Hi there Lo! I am finally here to review this story for the HPFF Review-A-Thon!

I have never read a story focussed entirely on Quidditch and this is absolutely unique. I LOVED this chapter!

The start was surely any Quidditch player's nightmare. Nobody would want to fall off their broom on account of harsh winds. I was sort of relieved when it turned out to be just that!

Molly wants to make into the Montrose Magpies- I really loved the sort of sentimental feel you added to the thing by showing that t-shirt which Molly had got when she was only a few months old. Ron still obsesses over the Chudley Cannons! Haha! I loved the way you added such fine details. Percy is still fixated over NEWT scores. It fits his character well. I liked the family time in the kitchen. Fleur's gift was so thoughtful.

Oakshaft Quidditch School is so cool! People going from one place to another on their brooms, classes about nothing but flying, students divided into Quidditch teams instead of houses- I am going to love learning more about it in the future chapters, I'm sure.

Discussing different brooms is what I can totally see the students of OAK obsessing over! Molly is already famous in the school, being a Weasley and being famous Quidditch player Ginny's neice! Oh! Would Cedric Wood grow into her love interest?

I added this story to my reading list! I'm going to come back for more. :)

Love,
Emm

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Review #22, by TreacleTart Making First String

6th March 2016:
For The HPFF Review-A-Thon

Hey Lo!

I'm here for our review swap! Back for more adventures in Quidditch with Molly Weasley!

This chapter really feels authentic to teenagers. It would figure that they'd sneak out of their rooms and get involved in some shenaniganry. I enjoyed a lot of the details that you included that made the scene come to life. The reckless cloud surfing, the fake i.d.s charmed to look like whoever's holding them, the aversion to muggle liquor. It made the world very rich and vivid.

The flirtation between Wood and Molly was amusing. Again, very much like teenagers. It was clever to have him startle her off of her broom and then go save her, but part of me gets a little nervous whenever I see the guy saves the chick scenario. I didn't mind this one in particular because Molly seems like a strong girl in her own right.

I'm assuming its a good thing that Molly made the first string, but something about the way you've written that section makes it seem bad. Maybe its the hostility from the other girls, but it just seems very ominous. Are the second string girls going to hate her now because she took up the last spot?

Anyway, so far so good with this story. Molly's voice is very consistent and the flow is pretty smooth. Good work!

~Kaitlin

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Review #23, by dreamgazer220 Making First String

5th March 2016:
For the HPFF-Review-A-Thon/our swap!

So, I couldn't help myself and had to come back to reading another chapter of this lovely story :)

It's so nice and refreshing that while you've been sure to show that Molly is super passionate about Quidditch, she's not opposed to letting it run her life and is willing to go out and have a good time with her new friends.

I love the idea of cloud surfing! It does sound stupid and reckless, but it also paints a cool image in my mind of someone standing on top of a broom :) I like Molly a lot, she seems like she's a lot of fun but is also a bit grounded, and knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go out and get it.

And aww, that scene with Reid was cute. I'm glad nothing happened and that he was just really adorable and there for her, I'm hoping to see a budding friendship coming from them, if not more ;)

I can't seem to quite make up my mind about Cedric yet, but he seems to be a decent bloke all around, and I'm glad that Molly stuck by Juliette!

I was sad that she didn't make first string, and you were tricky with the chapter title ;) I'm very interested to see how her fight to get to the top goes, because I have a feeling her passion and drive is what's going to get her to the reserves! (hopefully!)

Thanks for another great and fun chapter! Loved it!

~Jill

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Review #24, by princesslily_36 Making First String

5th March 2016:
FOR THE HPFF REVIEW-A-THON

Ahh, definitely something between Cedric and Molly! So how awesome was that scene where Molly falls down and Cedric gets into a panic and then catches her on his broom? SO AWESOME. SO. Awesome.

Molly being reckless with flying? I'm loving this side to her! Standing on her broom... I love the Quidditch related antics you have decided to include. It imparts a sense of real-ness to the whole story. I'm afraid this is going to become my new headcanon. Ahh, I love fun Molly!!!

The party scene was so much fun! I loved seeing it play out in my head thanks to your lovely descriptions. A group of 16 year olds having the time of their lives! You make me want to be 16 again, I swear!

And you have included the other magical schools too!! *widens eyes in awe* Loving this story more and more. The details you incorporate just adds to how absolutely delicious this is.

Ohhh... Molly has got a jealous competitor on her case now. I do NOT like that Jessica. But glad Molly made it into First String!

Looking forward to the next update, and Added it to my Reading list :D

XOXO
~Ysh

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Review #25, by dreamgazer220 Making it to the Academy

5th March 2016:
Hey there! Here for our swap and the HPFF-Review-a-Thon!

I was so relieved to find out that the opening scene was only a dream, and that she didn't actually fall off her broom! Whew!

I like this set up quite a lot already! I love that her parents got her a broom and are so supportive of her dreams of playing Quidditch, and that you were able to show how close she was with her family with just a few opening scenes.

And Juliette. I like her so far, but I have a feeling that if they're trying out for the same spot, their friendship may or may not last the story. That makes me kind of sad though, so I hope I'm wrong about that!

I also wanted to tell you that you did a great job painting a picture of the Quidditch Academy, with everything from the robe colors of who was flying around on campus (which is brilliant and makes so much sense), to the orientation leaders and her having to fly her broom while levitating her trunk. I'm very excited to see where you're going to go with the training and all of the relationships.

And Cedric? She's against a Wood? Uh oh, I smell trouble and quite a few distractions as she's going to attempt to be balancing Quidditch and N.E.W.T.s.

I can't wait to see where you take this :)

Thanks for the swap, I really enjoyed reading this!

~Jill

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