Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.






Reading Reviews for The Swift Death
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Marshal How it progressed

29th April 2017:
Oh! such a sad chapter! I am like ready to want to cry! You had the emotion spot on here! I mean, Ginny being a mom always putting her emotions aside for his kids despite dying. Then how the kids too the news was sweet and touching. The hug at the end! My goodness the emotions are strong. I was going to say I hope a cure is found but seeing the chapter title of chapter 3 and the title of the story I am not holding my breath.

Over all I think you did a good job here and the dialogue did not feel bad or out of place so while you call it your weakness I think you did well. The kids thinking they were in trouble and Albus sort of throwing his sister under the bus with with not-so-quiet remark to his brother was lovely and was amusing particularly in this very sad chapter that makes my heart break ever so.

Again you did a very nice job with the emotion so much so that I don't know if I will want to read chapter 3 cause I am sure while this chapter brought my near tears the next will make them fall and rip my heart completely out and I don't know if I can handle that tonight!

 Report Review

Review #2, by adluvshp How it progressed

29th April 2017:
This broke my heart. Poor dying Ginny. Her children are expecting another normal day, perhaps a telling off because of what they have done (broken a silly frame), and instead they get to hear this terrible tragic news.

I liked the small details we have here which tell us more about all their characters like Albus muttering how Lily will get away and James trying sweet-talk his parents by talking about how it is something good that the kids were doing.

The idea of MagiScreens by the way, like Muggle Tv, is pretty cool. And they were trying to get padfoot to ride a broomstick? I am guessing that's their dog, poor thing, that made me chuckle haha.

But then the hard part comes and she has to tell her kids what is wrong with her. The calm explanatory and honest manner in which Harry and Ginny tell their kids everything is touching, and also realistic, as I can envision those two dealing with a situation like this in such a manner.

I would have liked to see more emotion on Harry's part though, more description of what was happening and what was in their heads too.

The explanation of how the kids had grown up knowing all about death added to the tragedy of it all somehow as well, so I liked that. The ending bit tugged at my heartstrings and I wanted to hug them too.

-CTF Review by Angie

 Report Review

Review #3, by Mandy Aspen How it ended

28th March 2017:
THAT LAW IS CRAZY!!!

Author's Response: Yeah, it is a pretty controversial law, and although I don't know too much about it, personally, I am in favor of it. However, I know there are a lot of reasons to be against it and I definitely respect your point of view. Thank you so much for reading and for taking the extra minute to leave a review, I hope you enjoyed it!

-Jayna


 Report Review

Review #4, by MuggleMaybe How it progressed

17th April 2016:
OH JAYNA WHY?!?

I mean, I knew this story was going to be sad, but this chapter is just heartbreaking. I think the kids' reaction of minimizing the issue, trying to push it away and make it better, is really true to life. That sort of news is so, so difficult to process, you almost CAN'T do it at that age. It's so sad to think Lily isn't even at Hogwarts yet and she's dealing with this *tears*

I really liked everything about this, starting with Ginny's reflection on motherhood, and putting aside her fears to be strong for her kids, and the family conversation. For the record, I thought the dialogue was believable. But my favorite thing, by FAR, is how at the end, having just told them she's dying, Ginny is the one who has to offer comfort. She still has to protect her children, even though in a sense she's protecting them from herself. There is something fundamentally heartbreaking and very powerful about that.

You've thrown in some nice little Next Gen details with the MagiScreens, Ted and Vic's wedding, and them having a dog named Padfoot. (YES PLEASE.) I love the use of Bazinga, by the way!

honestly, I'm sorry this review is so short but I'm just so sad imagining this, I can't find more words right now.

xoxo Renee

 Report Review

Review #5, by MuggleMaybe How it began

17th April 2016:
JAYNA I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE! I am the worst! Please accept my apologies, along with all the virtual cookies and kittens you can handle. I have been completely overwhelmed by grad school lately and I just haven't had time to leave a review when I wasn't half asleep with exhaustion. I did not mean to make you wait SO long!

I think the idea of giving Ginny a disease that causes her to lose control of herself is really brilliant. It's so at odds with her character, because she's this strong, self-possessed, determined person, very much the master of herself, and then this disease comes and takes all of that away. It's so sad and scary - but really a smart way to make the most of the story!

It's too bad Harry is always the center of attention. He doesn't like it, and Ginny deserved her moment in the spotlight. Stupid fangirls/fanboys. (I would totally be one of them but sh :P) I thought it was accurate characterization for her to resent that just a little. And I loved that Harry spotted her fall right away, because that suggests he was watching her the whole game, only her. That's so sweet.

This is really intriguing = I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Darling, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT! I repeat, it is totally fine! I really hope that grad school has let up a little since then, and hopefully you'll be able to help Hufflepuff secure the win this house cup season...

I'm glad you liked the way the disease messed with her personality, that was definitely what it was meant to do.

Yeah, I'm not a huge sports fan, but it's safe to say I would be all over meeting the Savior of the wizard world. I really wanted to make sure that the little resentment didn't overpower how much they both love each other, so I'm glad you liked how Harry was watching only her. I must admit, I got the idea from a Bollywood movie i was watching before I wrote that scene, but it seems like it worked well. :P

Anyway, thanks for the great review, and although this response is quite late, I'm sending you a worry-free, good night's sleep with a bonus sleep in late. :P

-Jayna


 Report Review

Review #6, by victoria_anne How it ended

11th March 2016:
Oh, Jayna.

You're a beautiful soul, but I hate you.

Of course I'm kidding (love you long time gurl) but how could you do this to me! I bloody knew I'd need tissues...

This story was just so hard. For Ginny to have her own funeral? To hear everyone say those beautiful things about her? Of course she should be surrounded by love and family and kind words and memories, but oh god. Hard

She's a much stronger person than me, but we knew that already.

I agree with the law to allow ill people to make their own decision. I love how you chose Ginny for this (and at the same time, I don't, POOR HARRY!) because Ginny has always been so strong and a fighter and in control of her own life.

Oops, almost forgot to touch on the concerns you brought up. I quickly opened another window to the forums - I didn't realise you'd asked about Ginny! I answered that one, then... The whole story flows beautifully. I loved how much detail you put into the match in the first chapter - of course Ginny would remember every detail of that moment. As for the disease itself, yes, it's believable. It's an intriguing idea actually, that the wizarding world would have their own terminal illnesses that affect the body in episodes like that.

It's so sad how unfair life can be, to the people who don't deserve it. I lost my best friend at 16. Thank you for recommending something so beautiful to me.

Love Bianca x

Author's Response: Hey there Bianca! Sorry for the lateness of this reply, but anyway, thank you so much for dropping by! In addition, thanks a bunch for reading the whole thing, it was really great to get some feedback from the entire piece.

To be fair, I did give you a warning with the whole "for the kill your main character" thing in the summary :P

I agree with this law also, which is part of why I used it as the topic for this. I wanted to bring up something that it important in RL and show the other side of it, besides the part about how it allows people to die. I'm glad that you think that this is a fitting role for Ginny, and that it fits what we know about her (but yeah, poor Harry and the kids and Molly and everybody).

I'm so glad that you think the flow works, that's something I have a little trouble with sometimes. In addition, it's also good to hear that you liked the match scene. I was concerned that maybe there was too much detail and not enough substance.

The disease itself was supposed to be a wizarding world version of cancer, and I wanted to make sure that it wasn't too gruesome or unbelievable.

Yes, life can definitely be unfair sometimes. I'm sorry about your friend, and thank you for all the kind words!

-Jayna


 Report Review

Review #7, by Beedle the Bard How it began

4th January 2016:
The beauty of writing is the ability to make the world the Author sees come to life in the minds of the readers. Something which you have had no trouble doing with this chapter. It was rich with details and descriptions that I felt right there in the stands watching Ginny Potter make her Quidditch debut.

The situation involved seems very real and it has made me curious as to what and why anyone would want to hurt her in a way that would cause her death. Perhaps it is Harry that has caused a sense of jealousy in another to make them act out? We shall see!

Beedle the Bard

Author's Response: Hello, thank you for your review. It seems that you have posted it twice, but thanks all the same!

-Jayna


 Report Review

Review #8, by Beedle the Bard How it began

4th January 2016:
The beauty of writing is the ability to make the world the Author sees come to life in the minds of the readers. Something which you have had no trouble doing with this chapter. It was rich with details and descriptions that I felt right there in the stands watching Ginny Potter make her Quidditch debut.

The situation involved seems very real and it has made me curious as to what and why anyone would want to hurt her in a way that would cause her death. Perhaps it is Harry that has caused a sense of jealousy in another to make them act out? We shall see!

Beedle the Bard

Author's Response: Hello Beedle! Firstly, thank you so much for taking the time to drop by and leave me a review, I really appreciate it! Next, I'm so glad that you could really picture what was going on in the chapter! I'm especially relieved that the situation seemed real, because I was worried that it was a little bit out there. Hmm...well, I guess you'll just have to see! Once again, thanks for the review and I hope to see you around!

-Jayna


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login