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Reading Reviews for Liar
  
55 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan Epilogue: the truth about Jimmy Portman

21st June 2017:
The last chapter!! Ahh, I can't believe this wonderful story is over. But I think I was only partway through Jimmy Portman so now I'm even more excited to finish it now that I know the background!

Anyway, back to this chapter. I loved the way you made such a major twist in canon in an entirely believable way. If Peter were to do anything differently from his actions in the books, I think it wouldn't be not selling out the Potters, but it would be some sort of damage control in an indirect way, and that's exactly what you have here and it makes a lot of sense. The way you've characterized Peter throughout the whole story supports his actions here - he's never been the sort of person to run headlong into anything, rather, to change things from the safety and anonymity of the shadows he's used to occupying.

Your characterization of Peter is one of the best I've ever read, and while I don't really like him, at times I can sympathize with him and relate to him, and making a reader feel that about such a universally disliked character is impressive.

His relationship with Remus was my favourite part of the story overall, because it's a ship I've never seen anywhere else (100 gold stars for originality) and because it really makes sense - James and Sirius were best friends and closest to each other out of the four, so it's understandable that Remus and Peter would be close too, not to mention that they're the quieter of the four Marauders. But ultimately their personalities were incompatible in a romantic relationship - Remus is too self-deprecating and Peter isn't strong enough to handle it - but there's still something there, some leftover feelings that lasted through a lot of heartbreak and other lovers and even if they don't get back together in a romantic sense, there's a definite sense of hope that things will be okay between them and that the love will always be there.

The scene with Silvia and Mary was so heartbreaking as she realizes what Peter has done. That must be so hard to come to terms with, especially as Peter is her only child. And the scene with James and Lily was so sad as well, with Lily being pregnant again right after losing Harry, I can see how she doesn't feel ready and her anxiety that the new baby will be just a replacement is so sad, but makes so much sense right after what she and James have been through.

The lines during Sirius and Remus' discussion about how it was easier for Sirius to distrust a werewolf because everyone else did, and how Sirius should have trusted Remus - those were such poignant lines and ouch, there's a lot of hurt there and unintentional discrimination, which is so hurtful because they're best friends and I think Sirius is uncomfortable confronting that about himself which is why he tries to gloss over with humor. I am glad he owned up to it and apologized though, even if he deflects his feelings with jokes. But as hard as this scene was, it was really nice to think that they were able to reconcile without Sirius sitting in prison for 13 years for something he didn't do while Remus thought Sirius was a murderer. But... poor Alice and Frank :'(

Thank you for writing this amazing story! I've enjoyed every word of it, and you are so talented.

♥♥♥♥,
Kristin

Author's Response: I'm finally caught up answering reviews on HPFF, quite proud of myself :P

KRISTIN!
I'm so glad you got to the end of this with me! You are just the best friend and reviewer ever and I love you so much!!!

I'm glad you thought the twist in canon made sense. Yes, I totally agree, Peter would try to find a solution in the less exposing way possible, I love your character analysis here, it's just so perfect!

And I'm so glad you liked my characterization of Peter. Heading people say they they could understand him and sympatize with him to an extent is such a huge compliment to me and makes me so proud!

I'm so glad you loved the Peter/Remus ship, too! I'm actually not sure where it came from but I'm glad it made sense. I always thought Peter and Remus would be closer, since James and Sirius are such a strong duo. And yes, they couldn't really work as a couple because, like you say, their personalities just aren't compatible that way, but they'll always have strong feelings for each other.

Silvia and Mary’s scene is probably my favourite in this chapter. Yes, it would be so hard for a mother accepting that about her only child... :( And yes, poor Lily... I'm glad you could understand her feelings in that situation.

I'm so glad you liked the scene between Remus and Sirius, too. I love your analysis of that as well because it's just what I was trying to express! And yes, it is much better than Sirius being sent to Azkaban for cries he didn't commit. Yes, I know, Alice and Frank... :(

Thanks to you for reading and for all your wonderful reviews and for being so supportive throughout! It means so much that you enjoyed this!

So much love,
Chiara


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Review #2, by victoria_anne Epilogue: the truth about Jimmy Portman

20th June 2017:
CHIARA ♥ ♥ ♥

Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS on finishing this amazing story! It's one of my top favourites on this site, and I've enjoyed being a part of the journey every step of the way.

I love how you've tied it in to Jimmy, and if I hadn't already starting reading Jimmy I would definitely be right over there to see what happens next. So I think you've done a really good job in merging the two stories, and it's really impressive how close to canon you kept it.

I love (well, it made me very sad too) how you swapped James and Lily's demise for Frank and Alice's - you've warped canon and I think it works really well.

The scene with Peter and baby Harry is actually so cute. And Lily is pregnant again, ahhh!

I love the scene between Silvia and Mary, even though it breaks my heart. I love that we get to see more reactions over Peter from different viewpoints, especially from someone so close to him.

I'm so glad Remus and Sirius made up. But poor Remus still having feelings for Peter :( I must say though, I do prefer this reality where James is still alive :P

And I just LOVE the last line. I think it actually sounds quite ominous, and I can't wait to see what happens if they really do meet again.

Congratulations again, Chi. I'm so proud of you and so grateful that you wrote this story that I love so much! And I'm so happy to have been a part in it.

All my love

B ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: Aww, B... *hug* *wub*
Thank you so much for all your help and support and for following me till here! I'vecchi already told again and again, but I wouldn't have got to the end without you!!!

I'm so glad you liked the link to Jimmy! I wanted it to be canon until Peter chooses a different path, that's what Jimmy was all about, after all. :)

I'm glad the switch to Frank and Alice worked. Yes, I know, sad... but it had to happen... :(

I'm glad you found Peter with Harry cute! He will become a good father for him. :) And yes, Lily is pregnant again...

I think Mary and Silvia's scene was my favourite in this chapter. Poor Mary, it must be so hard for a mother to learn that her child is not a good person... :( I'm glad that you liked to see all different reactions about Peter, though.

Yes, they made up. Maybe not completely yet, but they'll get there. Yes, Remus still has feelings for Peter. He has lost so much... but I see why this universe is better, with Lily and James alive, Sirius not in Azkaban and Remus not completely alone. :)

They will meet again... can't tell you how it will go, though... (yes, I need to get back to Jimmy...)

I'm so glad you've been a part of this as well! Thank you so much again for everything, little B! Love you so much!
Chiara


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Review #3, by quill2parchment Epilogue: the truth about Jimmy Portman

18th June 2017:
So I've been reading this story for quite some time and caught up just in time for this final chapter.

I'm in love with the entire story. In love. And I'll probably go back to re-read it again because it was honestly all so good, and each chapter got better and better!

You can really see the Marauders as the tragic figures that they are, and you feel so deeply for all of them. It amazes me how you managed to create such humane characters.

Peter's character is so freaking complex and *real*. Him betraying Dorcas is honestly one of the most jarring things I've ever read because it was absolutely and one hundred percent selfish, you know? Whereas with James and Lily, you get a sense that he didn't really want to go through with it, with Dorcas, he actually wished her the pain, and the fact that he somewhat regretted after it and thought himself a monster didn't take away how horrible the act was. And to have that scene play out right after we see Dorcas promising Remus to be with him always was heartbreaking!

The twist at the end was totally unexpected! But it was very well-done, and even though I am not a fan of AU moments, I thought it worked out really well. (and it's practically begging for a sequel! hehe are you considering one??)

Also, the POV was amazing! You went from one to another so effortlessly! I know that I struggle from going from one third person to another because it either doesn't flow or the voices start to blend together, but no, your voices were all unique and true to their character, but somehow still flowed really, really well. I'm both fascinated and totally jealous!

Gosh there are so many good things about this story, I could go on forever, but I'll end it now before my blabbering gets out of hand. Congratulations on a wonderful story! Very well done!

Author's Response: Hey, Quilly (I'm using B's nickname for you, hope you don't mind)

I'vecchi been typing out almost all this answer already and then I lost the connection... I hate when that happens... :(

Anyway, thank you so much! Your entusiastic review really made my day, it meant so much to know you've been following this story and enjoyed it so much! *blushing*

I'm so glad you could relate to the characters and found them so real, especially Peter! He is so mistreated in fanfic, while I find him so fascinating to explore!

Yes, I totally agree. What he did to Dorcas was awful and absolutely, 100% selfish. And yes, I broke my own heart a bit writing her death... :(

Glad you enjoyed the twist, even if you aren't a fan of AU. And yes, there is a sequel. Or better, this story is a prequel to my other story All the truth about Jimmy Portman. Actually, that story is still incompleted and in need of some huge editing. I will start posting a revised version on HPFT soon.

Yes, I do a lot of POV jumping... maybe too much... I was told on other stories that it got confusing at times... but I'm glad you felt it worked here. :)

And I'm sure that you can make it work just fine and that I would be jealous of aspects of your writing as well... :P (This reminds me... I need to get back to your AP and see how Xander is doing...)

You can go on, if you want. I don't mind the blabbering. :P

Thank you so much for this wonderful review!
Lots of love,
Chiara


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Review #4, by marauderfan Traitors

13th June 2017:
Chiara. I'm so sorry it's taken so long! It's been a whirlwind of a few days and now I finally have a second to myself... in the airport :p So I'm sorry for any typos and for not being able to leave a very long/thorough review as I'm writing this on my phone!

OKAY SO. This is absolutely the best chapter so far. Honestly, I think it's the best chapter you've ever written. The content of this chapter breaks my heart in so many ways, but it's so powerful and effective storytelling and it's a perfect example of what I was telling you the other day on twitter, that you're an incredibly talented writer.

A lot of things that have come up in the story so far start to tie together here, just as they're all falling apart for the characters. My heart breaks for every single character here - James for finding out his family is targeted, Sirius for being the most loyal person ever and finding out someone has repaid that with selling out Order secrets, Remus for losing Dorcas right after she reaffirmed how she was going to stick with him and made him feel more human as he does this emotionally difficult task with the werewolves, and Peter... ah. I simultaneosly feel sorry for him and hate him because in the end he did choose, he had a choice, and he made selfish decisions that sold out other people. But a lot of that bad decision making stemmed from feeling like an outsider among his friends, and from the fallout with his best friend/ex. But what he did to Dorcas is inexcusable. I hope he felt horrible for that. But I love that so much of this chapter is from Peter's pov because he's definitely in the most dificult place of all of them and has the most internal struggle (even if he did put himself there to begin with) and you did such a wonderful job delving into his motivations and why and how he did what he did, in a way that explains everything.

This was so good. You should be proud. Amazing work, as usual! ♥ ♥

Author's Response: It wasn't too long, no worries! Thank you so much for stopping by! *hug*

Aww... *blushing* you are way too nice to me... sorry for breaking your heart... this breaks mine too...

I'm so glad you could feel for all the characters. They are so tragic... :(

And Peter... I understand that feeling, and I'm glad that you could still feel sorry for him while hating him. Yes, he did have a choice and he did make selfish decisions. And what he did to Dorcas is just awful... :( He did feel very, very bad for it.

But I'm glad that seeing everything from his point of view could at least explain his motives and that you could still feel for him.

Thank you so much for another amazing review, it means so much to me that you love this story so much!

Snowball hug, darling!
Chiara


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Review #5, by victoria_anne Traitors

2nd June 2017:
HELLO CHI! ♥

The second to last chapter... I can't believe it. What an emotional journey this has been!

KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I said it would be Yaxley who ambushed Peter, didn't I? :P
Poor, poor Peter :( It's just awful, the torture he went through.

It also cracked my heart to have Sirius mistrust Remus! I mean, I can understand where he's coming from - unless you know what Remus is up to, it does look a bit suspicious, but it still made me very sad to see one friend mistrust another :( But that's just how it went during the first war, wasn't it?

I love Dorcas, and I love that she loves the wolf in Remus. I love the idea that he's a bit rougher in the bedroom around the full moon, and that she's happy with that. I think that scene was very well written. (This whole story is, really, let's be honest :P ♥)

BUT THEN SHE DIES!!! I mean, I knew it would happen BUT STILL SO SAD TO READ! Especially when it was Peter who led her there :(

You can really see Peter's selfishness here, and how blinded he is by his love for Remus. Remus came to him, grief-stricken, and Peter opened his arms, even though he's responsible! Peter is trying as hard as he can but I think he's just in too deep now with Voldemort and how he thinks his friends view him.

Oh no... It happened... Peter sold out Lily and James :(

I can't wait for the next chapter, Chi, but I'm a little scared at the same time! I don't want this story to end and I have a feeling your beautiful writing is going to break my heart!

All my love ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: Hi again, B! *wub*

Yes, it was Yaxley, you guessed right! ;) Poor Peter, indeed...

I guess it was... it's so sad, when you think about how things went in canon, to think that if they had just trusted each other it might not have ended the way it did... And yes, it's just sad to see their friendship ruined... :(

I love Dorcas, too! She's wonderful! And I'm so glad you liked that particular scene because I was a tiny bit worried about it... *blushing*

Yes, I know... so heartbreaking... Poor Dorcas... :(

Yes, Peter is selfish. I love your analysis of him, really spot on.

Yes, he did... :(

Aww... I hope I didn't break your heart too much...? Thank you so so so much again for being the most wonderful beta and for accompanying me in this journey! I wouldn't have got here without you!


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Review #6, by victoria_anne Fighters

24th May 2017:
CHIARAAA! I hope you're having a wonderful afternoon, little one *snuggles*

I already gushed over this chapter but here's some more ;) just less emojis (unfortunately)

Okay okay okay, so I'm loooving all of the Order of the Phoenix things, even though it makes me sad because I know we're kind of reaching the end, and it's not a happy one :(

Moody is so amazing, you've written him so well, and the line about him making grocery shopping sound dangerous is hilarious and so true! Also I love the mention of Frank Longbottom!

So having Alice and Lily announce their pregnancies is gorgeous and adorable, and mentioning the photo that Sirius shows Harry later is just beautiful. It was a tiny detail to remember to include but it makes all the difference, especially when you've written the context.

But now we turn sad because of Remus :( it's awful how difficult his life is, but I'm glad he has Dorcas to lean on. And making that such a stark contrast to Peter's lonliness is really powerful. Again, I feel so sorry for Peter but it's amazing to watch his downfall because you write it so incredibly and it's so realistic. AND WHO IS AT THE END?! I still think maybe Yaxley? A Death Eater, at any rate. Gah!

Wonderful work, little Chi! Love you!

Author's Response: BIANCA! Thank you for stopping by, my love! *hug*

I'm so glad you loved the Order bits, it was the hardest part with this chapter. Yes, almost the end... :( But it wasn't THAT unhappy after all, was it?

So glad you liked Moody and found that line hilarious! And so happy you liked Frank as well!

I must admit that I love the scene of the pregnancies announcement too... And so glad you liked the bit about the picture!

Poor Remus, he has so much to deal with... And yes, poor Peter too... I'm so glad you find his downfall realistic, even if it's sad.

Thank you so much for the lovely review and for all your support with this story! Thou art the best!


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Review #7, by marauderfan Fighters

23rd May 2017:
The library is about to close so I can't leave a very long review, I'm sorry :( But I had to pounce on this as soon as I could after I saw it was posted!

Mad-Eye wouldve made grocery shopping sound dangerous. -- YES HE WOULD HAVE hahaha this is so funny.

Aww :( I mean I get that Peter can speak for himself, but Remus was only trying to help. Then again, that's probably a sore spot for Peter who's probably been talked over for his whole life. :-/

That must take so much for Remus to be able to face that kind of life, especially since he's been shunning the side of him that's a werewolf for so long, trying so hard to be 'normal', that facing the dark side of that, so to speak, and actually living with a colony of werewolves including the one who turned him, must be so hard emotionally. I'm glad he has Dorcas to lean on at least.

AND HE HAS TO DEAL WITH JERKS LIKE LEANDER. Omg, can I punch him please

Okay, I get that Leander's job puts him in a tough position but STILL. he can be less of a jerk.

Aw, Mary. It must be kind of bittersweet for her to see Lily so happy and getting married... to someone else. But the moment with her and Peter was really sweet as they learned that they have something in common.

THE CLIFF HANGER OMG IS THAT VOLDEMORT OR A DEATH EATER. HELP.

This was a great chapter and I loved it so much and I love you so much and you are amazing. Also, you are an amazing writer. Library is closing so I have to go! ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: KRISTIN!!! I love you!!! I know I tell you all the time, but it still doesn't feel often enough... :P

So, first, sorry for taking such an abysmal time to answer this! And your review is wonderful as always, you have nothing to apologize for. *hug*

Ahahah! Moody would, wouldn't he? Glad you found that line funny! :D

I know... Remus only wanted to help... but from Peter's perspective it showed that Remus didn't see him as strong enough and pitied him, and that's something that Peter would hate more than anything.

Yes, poor Remus... that's really so hard for him... :(

And Leander... well... yes, he is a bit of a jerk, but it isn't really his fault, either...

Mary is such a sweety! I guess it was a bit bittersweet for her... glad you found that moment between her and Peter sweet.

Well, you know what happens next, so I don't really need to answer, right? Poor Peter, though...

Thank you so much for your lovely review! *wub*


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Review #8, by melian Gryffindors

18th April 2017:
Hi Chiara! This was certainly an attention-grabbing read.

I liked how you switched perspective from Peter to Remus and back again. Those are probably the two rarest Marauder perspective, especially Peter. Nice to see him not being ignored totally, as is too often the case with Marauder fics.

Interesting backstory you gave him, too. The cousin in Slytherin, the parents who were both in Slytherin, the childhood friendship with Remus. I assume Remus left after he got bitten? That would make sense, and also of course explain Remus not wanting to get too close to Peter, in case he worked it out.

I thought Peters observational skills were most interesting as well. I notice you took all the surnames from canon easily recognisable because I did the same with my Marauder fic, and we chose some of the same ones. Different first names, of course, but thats only to be expected. It does show an attention to detail from you that is rather impressive, as most people arent finicky enough to bother with something like that. I feel this makes us kindred spirits. *high fives*

Remus perspective was equally fascinating. The furtiveness, hiding such a key part about himself it would have been all consuming, wouldnt it? Most of the Marauder fics you read are set later on, when the others all know about his condition, but I quite like the dynamic his secrecy brings. It makes for a really strong conflict just within the dorm, doesnt it?

All in all a rather thought-provoking chapter. Nice work!

Cheers Mel

Author's Response: Hi, Mel!

Thank you so much, I'm so gkad you enjoyed reading this!

I love writing Peter, I find him so fascinating as a character, and I totally agree that he is too often forgotten.

Actually, I don't think Peter's father was a Slytherin, I think either Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, but I haven't decided yet. I'm glad you found his backstory interesting, though. And yes, Remus left after he got bitten.

Glad you liked Peter's observational skills! And yes, I love to use canon surnames if I can :P (It's actually more laziness, because otherwise I would have to make them up... :P) But nice to have something in common! ;)

Poor Remus, it is so hard keeping such a secret, especially from his closest friend. Glad you liked the dynamics.

Thank you so much again for the lovely review!
Chiara


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Review #9, by crimson quill Gryffindors

18th April 2017:
Capture the Flag

So, I had the pleasure of writing chapter 1 already so another day I'm back for more. I thought it was a very interesting chapter for peter's character development as you've already introduced more information about Peter's family and putting in the conflict with the slyherins from a rather early age. I really like these little details which obviously very important later one.

my favourite scene from this was when peter is wanting to be in gryffindor with Remus. I think it's rather a neat little concept that Peter argued with the hat for his place in gryffindor. you're really done a great job setting all this little things up which explain aspects of his character we know from canon.

I thought his internal monologue was really good, I'm connecting with the character like I haven't in any other story so you've done a good story at getting the engagement of the readers were from unpopular character so that's impressive. I enjoyed peter striking out on his own to try to make friends with James and Sirius. you might show the slytherin side to peter with his comments about 'wanting more' friendship wise. good job xo

Author's Response: Abbi! Hello, dear!

Glad to see you back for the second chapter!

Poor Peter, his family is definitely complicated... it will have a role later on, but for now he's just a child like anyone else.

I loved writing the conversation with the Hat, and I'm glad you liked it too. I'm convinced that Peter did have some Gryffindor traits, but I'm also convinced that he wouldn't be a perfect fit, and it makes sense that his own preference would be taken into account.

I love writing Peter and his thought process, I find it fascinating. And I'm always so proud when I manage to make people feel for him, understand him, or even like him a little. Glad you could connect with him.

Thank you for the lovely review,
Chiara


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Review #10, by crimson quill Children

14th April 2017:
Capture the flag!

So this is the first time I'll reading some of your writing. I love the concept of this story, I really like the idea of seeing more Peter stories. It's awesome for writers to explore him more so it's a very promising storyline.

So I thought you wrote this so beautifully that you write the characters as children so well. It's quite hard I think in writing children in a convincing way without making them seem too mature or too stupid. I love that you've made remus and Peter friends before Hogwarts so their relationship runs to deep.

I think the bit when Peter is making a sand Hogwarts so adorable, I love to think magical children love Hogwarts. My heart was simply breaking in two for Remus with his conversation with his parents, you wrote it to be sad but realistic. I thought it was very emotional writing when we was asking if it was going to hurt and his mother didn't lie to him for a moment. Powerful stuff obviously really hit home when remus was being so bullied by those other kids. He obviously had a good friend in peter so he's lucky in that way. Remus is such a tragic character but you write him with so much heart.

I think this story is going to be such a journey of discovery for both characters. I know you're going to develop them both as characters so much as the first chapter is so promising! Xo

Author's Response: Hey, Abbi!

Actually, it isn't. You had already read "Once Upon a Time". ;) Anyway, happy to have you here!

I have a slight obsession for Peter (I know that can sound weird...) I think he is a fascinating character, and it's a real pity he isn't written more.

Aww, thank you! I actually love writing children, I'm glad you found them convincing! And that you liked the beginning of Remus and Peter's friendship.

Yes, I'm sure wizard children would love the idea of Hogwarts! And yes, poor Remus... it always breaks my heart to think how much he had to go through from such an early age... and all the bullying is so heartbreaking, too... Glad you could feel him, though!

Thank you so much again for stopping by and for such a lovely review! You are so sweet! *wub*

Lots of love,
Chiara


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Review #11, by victoria_anne Adults

20th March 2017:
Hey Chi!

So I've already spoken to you about this chapter, but let's make it official for the Chalice Review Spree :P

So James. Oh sweet little James. It's so funny how surprised everyone is at his attempts to mature, and I love how he was there for Lily after her parents died.

I still just want to shake Peter and Remus and say GET TOGETHER ALREADY!

And those laws! Poor poor Remus :( I love how realistic you make it seem. I love his reason to keep wearing the band.

And that prank - my God that's hilarious, and so was James' speech!

I hope you won't keep us waiting to long for chapter 8!

Lots of love ♥

Author's Response: Aww, B... what did I do to deserve you? Thank you so much for stopping by again, you make the start of my day much sweeter! *wub*

I'm so glad you loved that about James, he's really trying to be a better person. Isn't he the cutest?

Erm... yeah, I know... but you know how stubborn they both are, and unfortunately things won't go upwards for them from here... (yes, I'm a cruel writer... aren't we all?)

Poor Remus indeed, he's doesn't need all that on top of everything else he has to endure. Laws and goverments can be unfair and unfortunately we know this happens often in RL too... :(

Amidst all the angst, I needed to endure the chapter on a lighter tone. ;) I'miei so glad that you found the prank hilarious! And James' speech as well! I had a lot of fun writing it! :D

Erm... chapter 8 will come... sometime... maybe... I'm actually having a bit of trouble with it... I have half of chapter 9 already written down, though. Does it count? *whistles*

Love you, little B!


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Review #12, by victoria_anne Rebels

18th March 2017:
And the Chalice Review Spree continues!

I read this quite a while ago, so it's nice to come back and reread it, and fall in love all over again! Argh poor Remus and the stupid Ministry werewolf rules :( Leave my baby alone! And I'd forgotten about Peter's relation to Yaxley! It's just another step on his road to Voldemort. I mean, Peter did stand up to him (yay Pete!) but we all know what happens in the end :(

Again, Peter is written amazingly by you! ♥

Author's Response: B!!! There you are again!!! :D
Yes, poor Remus... the Ministry shouldn't mistreat them so badly... :(

Peter is half-Yaxley, yeah, and that will play a role in his destiny... Always happy to know you like my Peter! :D

Thank you for stopping by once again, my little B! Thou art wonderful!


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Review #13, by victoria_anne Heartbreakers

18th March 2017:
CHIARA!

WHAT THE HEY?! There are three chapters I haven't reviewed?! *splutters* This is an absolute outrage. But thanks to the Chalice Review Spree, I'm here to fix that.

It's super nice to go back to the time when Peter and Remus were happy! And I will never ever tire from the Marauders banter. It always puts a smile on my face when I read it, you write it so naturally.

Eek so much tension in this chapter! I'm left hanging on every word. And I don't think I've said this before, but I love how you focus on all the Marauders, not just Peter and Remus, and also the other Gryffindor girls. It gives the story so much more depth, and I just love it so much ♥

Author's Response: Oh, hello, B! :D

Ah, no worries! You beta'ed for me and that's enough! But thank you for stopping by! ;)

They've been happy? Really? I can't remember that... (kidding, I know they've been... and I'm such a bad person...)

Ahahah! I never tire of some good Marauders banter either! :P Glad you enjoyed it!

There is a lot of tension... they are my boys (and my girls), all of them. I'm glad it helps to give depth to the story.

Thank you, darling! *hug*


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Review #14, by marauderfan Adults

9th March 2017:
You're right, I was going to get to this :D but thank you for the request! I'm so happy to see another update on this story!

Aah, not even one sentence into this chapter and already my heart is breaking for Remus for having to wear the band on his arm marking him as a werewolf, which is honestly terrifying as that's very reminiscent of Hitler's demands for Jews, and... some other politicians these days. Despite being about werewolves and magic, this story is very relevant.

OMG ALL OF THIS CHAPTER ♥ IT'S SO GOOD. I love the way the girls are sticking up for Remus and the way can see past the way the Ministry is trying to stir up fear, and instead want to help the people who get marginalized and are unfairly singled out.

OMG TOM NO

NO

This is so REAL.

Severance pay is not charity. He's gonna need that. But I also admire him for not taking anything from Tom, because ultimately it was Tom's decision to let Remus go. Tom could have fought the system, like Dorcas is doing, but he chose not to.

Omg, and then the juxtaposition of this and the next section - Remus thinks the world is screwed up because it is. Peter thinks the world is screwed up because Dumbledore picked James for Head Boy. I mean... :P it says a lot about his privilege right there.

YES REMUS STAND UP TO THE DUMB LAW. I love that he just refuses to wear the band. He's right, it would look pretty awful if the Ministry threw him in Azkaban for not wearing a bracelet.

I like that Dorcas is helping Remus move on from Peter, even if their relationship is starting off a bit weird (i.e. Remus is still in love with Peter). But if Dorcas is fine with that, then I guess they're all good. It's nice that Remus knows someone else likes him, he needs the reminder that he's worthy of being liked and appreciated.

Though I also worry that you're setting them up together because I know what happens to Dorcas eventually and Remus DOES NOT NEED THAT on top of everything else he deals with. ah, all the feels. help

omg and then right from there to Lily thinking about her parents' funeral. Too many feels. And the bit where she thinks if she'd been there she could have done something - that's so true to life, how there's that stage of grief where you believe things that don't necessarily make sense just because the grief is hard to process. Poor Lily :( And with James going through a similar thing... it's so true, grief does have a way of bringing people together.

I know Fawkes' molting isn't that common (or is it?) but part of me kind of loves the fact that both James and later Harry ended up witnessing it :)

It really says a lot for Mary that she declined, especially in front of a bunch of people who all accepted. Like, yes, it's scary to be in the Order, but it does take courage to do what she's doing, in a way.

Bravo for Remus turning the discriminatory wristband around and wearing it as a badge of honor.

This whole chapter carries a strong feeling of endings and new beginnings and all the uncertainty that come with both - and it's very appropriate given that they're finishing with school and heading into something dangerous, like there's a lot to celebrate and a lot to fear at the same time, but they just make the best of it. I really liked the tone throughout the whole thing.

CC: at one point you said 'carrier' when I think you meant 'career' (they sound really similar, but the first is a thing that carries something.. like a cat carrier)

Ok that's it, this review somehow got really long and I'm sorry for when you have to respond to it :P I loved this chapter and it was amazing and so are you. ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: Kristin!!! *wub* *wub* *wub*

Yes, that's horrible... I did have Hitler's racial laws in mind... To be honest, I was scared that I was pulling it too far, but I'm glad you found it believable!

The girls are awesome! :D

Poor Remus... Tom could've fought the system, but not everyone is brave and strong enough to do so...

Ahahah! Peter has a much lighter way of seeing things, that's for sure. :P (But you have to agree, Dumbledore's choice was quite crazy)

Yes! Go, Remus! That would look pretty awful, indeed.

Remus needs that reminder... Erm... yeah... that might not end too well... I'm sorry... (I'm just a tiny bit cruel to my characters, I know...)

You always wonder if you could've done anything, don't you? I still can't shake that guilt... but yes, grief does bring people together.

Oh, I have no idea... after you asked I googled what's a bird's life expectancy... it varies a lot from species to species, so it's hard to tell (you probably know better than I do... :P) Anyway, I'm glad you liked the idea that James and Harry had that in common.

I think it did require a lot of courage from Mary (a courage Peter didn't have, for instance). Glad you liked that about her.

That was the theme of the chapter, and I'm glad it came out well and that you liked the tone of it. We'll see how things will go from there.

Oh... I will fix that. In Italian is "carriera", so I guess that's why I mixed them up. Thank you for pointing it out.

Ahahah! No review is too long, I love your reviews! Sorry for taking so long to answer, by the way...

You are amazing! Thank you so, so, so much!!!

Snowball hug,
Chiara


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Review #15, by dreamgazer220 Adults

9th March 2017:
Hello lovely, here with your review!

I was excited to see that you finally posted a new chapter (although I'm not one to talk :P). To be honest, the length made me a bit nervous, but as always with your writing, you captured my attention and kept it the whole way through. And I always marvel over your ability to go through so much time in one chapter and have it flow so effortlessly.

I think the politics were good here. Poor Remus, having to wear a stupid red band to mark him as dangerous - but it makes sense, since the Ministry would have to do something to "warn people", although I'm glad that Remus' friends and Peter didn't really care or notice anything about the band.

It's interesting that Dumbledore called them out specifically and asked them to join the Order. I think there I would've liked a bit more context, even if it was Remus or Peter recognizing everyone's strengths about why they were chosen specifically. Otherwise, I enjoyed that scene quite a bit and was happy to see that Peter hesitated. You make me forget that he's the reason that James and Lily are dead, but then you did little things like that to remind me/us of his true character, and it's really well done here.

Aww, Dorcas and Remus! That's cute. I'm glad he found someone, even if it wasn't Peter. And I enjoyed how nonchalant they both were abotu the whole thing, but Dorcas has always been there for Remus, and she obviously holds no judgmenet, so it made sense for them.

And James being nice! And being with Lily! I would've liked to see a bit more how they got together, but I know that this is focused more on Remus and Peter, so I'm content with that library scene. :P

Through it all, there's always Remus and Peter. I'm glad that they had some moments alone and even if it was uncomfortable, they still managed to be around each other. There's hope for them yet!

Another fantastic chapter, darling! I really do love this story. ♥

Author's Response: Jill!!!
Thank you so much for the review, and sorry if I'm answering so late...

Ahahah! We are all slow writers... I'm a bit stuck with the next chapter, hopefully it won't take too long... And yes, I know, these chapters get always longer. Not my fault, there's always so much to include... I'm glad it read well nonetheless! :)

Yes, the law is horrible. I'm glad you found it believable, though. I was scared I'd pulled it too far... Yes, his friends don't care, but we already knew they were special, right?

That scene would've needed more context, I agree. I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway. Peter is Peter, he wouldn't like the idea of fighting, but wouldn't step out either for fear of his friends' judgement. Glad you found him in character and liked his hesitation.

They are cute. Glad you liked them together. :) And James and Lily, too! :D *Jily 5ever*

Yes, there's always Remus and Peter. We'll see how things will go from there...

Thank you for another wonderful review! You are the best!


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Review #16, by Phoenix_Flames Gryffindors

3rd January 2017:
So I just jumped right into the next chapter. :)

And I enjoyed so much about it! I love how you introduced the boys to Hogwarts. I liked the little easter egg you dropped in there in beginning with Remus bumping into Severus, and I loved how surprised Peter was when he heard Remus' name. And Peter's sorting!! I loved the discussion with Peter and the Sorting Hat! Again, I've never considered how Peter's sorting could have gone and never thought about how the Hat could have wanted to put him in Slytherin, but that makes perfect sense! Another easter egg you perfectly dropped in laid with so much irony is the Hat questioning what Peter would do if Remus disappointed him. It's so gut-wrenching because, as readers, we know that it's Peter who disappoints Remus in the end. I LOVE that little twist of irony.

And haha! James keeps a journal!! I love it! I loved that little section in which he "observed" so many things. That was another fun way to leave all these little fun tidbits.

And then concluding the chapter with what is (most likely) the beginning of Peter's friendship with James and Sirius. I loved it! What a fun chapter--except for everything that makes me feel so bad for Remus. :( I can feel Remus wanting to tell Peter what's truly going on, and that makes my heart hurt for him. I can't wait to see where all this goes and how/when Peter will find out!

Another brilliant chapter!! :)

Author's Response: Thank you for another awesome review!!!
Glad you liked the details I threw in here! And that you liked Peter's sorting. Well, to be true, Remus will disappoint Peter later on in this story. Of course, the opposite is true as well (even if this story is AU and the end won't be exactly what you might expect...)

Yeah, James keeps a journal! I don't know where I even got the idea but I love it too! Makes him much cuter, doesn't it? :)

It's a little seed, but the friendship won't take long to come (more details in the next chapter). And yes, poor Remus... but things will improve for him soon as well. ;)

Thank you so much again for the lovely review, and I really hope that I'll see you around again!

Love and hugs,
Chiara


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Review #17, by Phoenix_Flames Children

3rd January 2017:
Chiara!! Hi there!! :) I'm here to return the favor fulfill a holiday wish. :) And I am SO happy I did! I don't know how I haven't stumbled across this story before. I love stories focusing on minor characters--and the relationships between two minor characters at that, so reading about the bond between Peter and Remus at such a young age is fascinating to me!

I really enjoyed this first chapter. I liked the scenes strung together, and I love how you are making Remus' troubles with being a werewolf the key focal point of the friendship between Remus and Peter. I never really imagined how that would have gone for Remus as a kid, so I really love diving into this new area!

This was a great chapter, and I'm really intrigued! I will definitely be stopping by for more. :)

Hugs!

Author's Response: Hi, Drue!
Aww... you didn't have to, but I'm glad you're here! :)

So glad you ennjoyed this first chapter and the beginning of Remus and Peter's friendship! Remus is my absolute favourite character (it's quite obvious from the stories on my AP :P) and I've always felt so horrible thinking about all he's gone through since such a young age... happy you liked reading about it.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sorry for the late reply.
Hugs,
Chiara


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Review #18, by dreamgazer220 Rebels

26th December 2016:
Happy holidays, Chiara! ♥

I feel like you've had this chapter up for ages and I'm so sorry it took me so long to leave a review! But I'm glad that you updated this story and you write your characters so well, it really does play like a movie in my mind.

I loved the opening scene with Peter and Remus. It's so heartbreaking, the two of them, and yet so believable. They want it to work so badly because they love each other, but they just can't make it work because of their personalities. I can see where Remus would get so frustrating for people to deal with and where Peter wouldn't have the patience to put up with it for much longer. It's so tragic, but it's so realistic and that's one of the things that I love most about this story and the relationship between Remus and Peter. I think we've all had those relationship(s) where you want it to work so bad and it just doesn't. *snuggles boys*

THIS LINE BROKE MY HEART THO CHIARA: All Im asking you is to take a decision. And please, make it definitive. No more changes of heart, unless you want to shatter mine. I FEEL YOU SO HARD, PETER. I DO.

LOL at Sirius wearing an AC/DC shirt to Christmas dinner and you're breaking my heart again with him asking Regulus to come with him! The only thing I'd say about this chapter is that I'd love a little more from that, as I feel like they may have fought a bit harder on it, but I realize that this story is about Remus and Peter, so I'm just happy to see that little glimpse of Sirius. :P

Awww, Remus' birthday! The letter from his father was so sweet. And great job paralleling the Ministry summons and the ridiculous Marauders' gift.

Interesting that Jones is related to Leander. I can only imagine how intimidating waiting for that summons would be. Can I just snuggle Remus some more? K thanks.

I also loved seeing the parents, and the final scene with more of Peter's background. Did we know he was part Yaxley and I forgot? It's entirely possible BUT I really like that twist, and I feel like it explains a LOT about his personality and his choices later in life.

I'm always so impressed by how effortlessly you weave through SO MUCH TIME in these chapters and it feels like no work at all.

Another wonderful chapter, dear!

Sending some hugs your way,
♥♥ Jill

Author's Response: Happy holidays, Jill! :D
Ah, no worries. I'm so happy you stopped by! I'm so glad you enjoy this story so much! *blushing*

Yes, I know... my poor boys... their love is really tragic... I'm glad you find it all believable... *hugs*

Isn't it something Sirius would do (wearing a Muggle rockband tee-shirt just to annoy his parents, I mean)? Aww, I know... I wish Regulus would listen to him... I suppose there might've been more to show about it, but I felt like that section was already too long... (I can't resist including the Black brothers, I so love writing their relationship...)

I'm glad you liked John's letter, he really is a caring father.
I thought a bit of Marauders' silliness would help smoothering the angst of the summons and the new law... I'm glad you liked it.

I'm still not sure if and how Athena Jones and Leander being related will have a role in the plot (I mean, I have a couple of ideas, but I haven't decided yet...) Yes, that would be truly intimidating... you can snuggle Remus as much as you want, he needs it!

Glad you liked Mary and Silvia! And the Yaxleys, too! Yes, I did mention it in the first two chapters, but I guess it's been a bit since you read them, so you're authorized to have forgotten. :P

Aww... thank you... *blushes more*

Many hugs right back to you,
Chiara


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Review #19, by marauderfan Rebels

3rd December 2016:
Chiaraaa ♥

This may be the only story in the history of ever where I'm more annoyed at Remus and sympathise with Peter. But yeah, Remus' self-blame game and constant pushing others away would get old, and could easily make any romantic partner doubt themselves. And not everyone is as stubborn as Tonks eventually is in convincing Remus to listen to his heart rather than his head. I mean, I can understand Remus too, so well, and all his insecurities. He is so real to me. But not everyone can handle that amount of emotional baggage Remus brings along. Both of them are such great characters and their love is so tragic because despite that they have strong feelings for one another, their personalities aren't really compatible without a lot of work on their relationship.

HA, a teacher's desk?! Peter!! Hahaha *shakes head* I've never seen a characterisation of Peter quite like yours - I love the way you write him and how you give him such a strong personality that still fits into how we know him in canon.

Peter telling a Marauders secret so he can hook up with Leander in the Shrieking Shack... ahh. This is such good writing because it's so believable of him. He tells secrets when he has personal gain from it, and feels guilty about it but not guilty enough to stop him from telling. But also lol at the fact that Peter protested against the charms classroom because it wasn't romantic enough, and then led the way to the absolute least romantic place on the entire Hogwarts grounds, apart from maybe Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

he resembled a goldfish, but a really elegant one -- for some reason I found this line absolutely hilarious XD

Sirius purposefully making the chair grate against the floor is SUCH a Sirius thing to do. You write him so well.

SIRIUS ASKS REGULUS TO COME WITH HIM WHEN HE RUNS AWAY OMG STAAHHP IT'S BREAKING MY HEART

That ridiculous gift the MArauders gave Remus - I love those boys. And I went from grinning at that to really sad in about 0.2 seconds because of Remus crying about the Ministry summons right after. Ahhh!! This story is not good for my emotional sanity but I'm too invested in it to stop hahaha

All the werewolves waiting around in the lobby forever for their turn and hating every second... this is like the wizard version of waiting in line at the DMV. Except a whole lot worse because it's about discrimination rather than getting a driving licence. *hugs Remus*

Remus is such a bad liar. I can relate. :P

Omg ♥ all the Gryffindor sixth years staging a protest this just makes me so happy and proud and I love all of them.

Their Divination predictions are hilarious. I bet that class would have been a lot of fun - if not in actually learning any Divination, it would have at least been good as an exercise in creative writing XD

ooh, what a tense family standoff there. Peter has an interesting family background and I really like these glimpses into what his family was like and how he has pretty strong forces on each side pulling him one way or the other. And so far he's firmly on the side against Voldemort, but... the way you write him and his family explains a lot about him. I know this story is AU and that Peter's fate is different in this story than it is in canon, but like... I can still see how canon Peter could have come from these same circumstances.

Great chapter! ♥

Author's Response: Hello, Kristin, my love!
Sorry if it took me so long to reply to this wonderful review...

Ah, yes... I know... Remus can be very annoying... but with everything he's gone through it's understandable that he is so insecure, isn't it? Poor Peter, though...

Ahahah! Actually, I think it was Leander more than Peter the bold one... :P Glad you like my version of Peter anyway. He surprises me as well at times. ;)

Oh, yes. That's so tipical of Peter, isn't it? Ahahah! Oh, Merlin... Moaning Myrtle's bathroom... I could die...

I'm glad you found that line hilarious, I totally meant it to be! (I have a weird sense of humour...) And I'm so glad you liked Sirius' reaction and that you found him believable!

Ah, I know... :( sorry... *hugs Sirius and Regulus*

Ahahah! Well, they are the Marauders, they are crazy that way... again, sorry for all the sudden mood changes...

Glad the scene of the werewolves waiting worked. That was exactly the feeling I wanted to convey. And you can hug Remus as much as you want, he needs it!

No, definitely not a good liar... Ahahah! I can relate too...

They are wonderful, aren't they? Fifty points to Gryffindor! :)

I love Silvia and Mary. A lot. And yes, I'm sure they did have a lot of fun in Divination class. :D

Glad you liked the scene with the Yaxleys. It is quite an interesting family background... poor Peter... I'm not going to say how things will move from there, but Alistair will still have a role in Peter's destiny.

Thank you so, so much again for this incredible review! And sorry if I took so long to answer... really, life has been crazy...

All the love in the world, my unreliable friend!
Chiara


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Review #20, by Ron 4 Hermione Lovers

26th October 2016:
Hey there, back again! Sorry its been a while but Im very excited to read it again! :)

Aww, cute responsible Remus worrying about what his friends would think. Youd think that with his friends accepting him as a werewolf then theyd be okay with him being a Prefect... But I guess hes not the Remus we love without a bit of worrying!

Ooooh, things are getting interesting. Well, a bit of thinking but its a start! Im actually quite excited to see what happens between them now. Thats a really cute scene between Remus and his father, I love the advice he gives him. Sounds like a smart guy (guessing Remus totally inherited those genes). Although youve BROKE MY HEART- So a person affected by lycantrophy doesnt have the right to love and be loved. Im glad his dad tried to get him to see its ridiculous but the fact that he grows up thinking that is heartbreaking!

OMG, Peter is jealous?! I hope this is true, because that would be so cute for Remus but I guess Ill have to wait and see. That whole scene though, it just screams Peter like Remus!

Aha, I think Remis should have been worried less about what his friends would think about him being prefect and more about how he was going to keep them in line! Although its interesting seeing them come up with the idea for the map/what they had to do to find out stuff. Wow, well that took a turn for the depressing. Oh no, I hope shes okay!

Ergh, can I just despise Regulus? How is he even related to Sirius? I love how you portray their relationship though, because he is still his brother so its not going to be easy to just forget about him and let him get on with joining the dark side.

Omg this is going to be a long story if these two keep this up! :P Jeez, I wish theyd just get on with it! (Okay so I wrote that before reading on, clearly!) OH MY WORD!! I dont know weather to be really pleased or sit here and sob because he thinks he doesnt like him! Oh what has he done! I hope Remus fixes it, and quickly!

Aww, poor Remus! That does sound awfully confusing, makes me glad its not me having to figure that one out. Lol, Sirius isnt as good as giving advice as Remus dad is he. Im glad it kind of helped, and that he saw a bit of sense being loved as well.

Aha, well thats one way to do it, shout I love you down a corridor. Well done Remus haha. Aww, Im so glad they worked it out though! Yay for them! (Im going to ignore the bit about Dorcas for now because theyre finally happy :P)

Another great chapter, although Im scared to move on to the next one because its called heartbreakers and that just cant be good D:

- Shaza

(HPFT Team Vampire Review)

Author's Response: Shaza!!!
It's so great to have you back here! And you really have nothing to apologize for, this was totally unexpected and super appreciated! :D

Ahahah! Like you said, that's Remus. He needs to worry about just anything... ;) And of course his friends would be okay with it, but I think a bit of teasing is definitely a possibility. :P

John is absolutely an intelligent man, other than a caring father. And yes, Remus did inherit those genes! :) I'm sorry that saddened you... but it's just Remus' way of thinking... :(

Peter is jealous. You got that right. ;)

Being a Prefect and a Marauder at the same time can't be easy... Poor Remus... Ahahah! Glad you enjoyed the Map bit! As for Mary... sorry about that, but she will be fine.

Oh, Regulus... he really isn't a bad person, just misguided... but I can't blame you for despising him. Glad you liked their relationship, though. They have different views and can't really get each other, but they are brothers and they do love and care for each other.

It mustn't be simple, for either of them. They are both very unsecure and in need of external acceptance and I think Remus especially would be scared of being "different", since he already has to deal with lycanthropy. They will fix it though, at least for a bit...

Poor Remus, indeed... Ahahah! No, Sirius isn't very good with advices, but he tried at least. And he did give Remus a push in the right direction. ;)

To Remus' benefit, it was an empty classroom, not a corridor... :P But yeah, that's pretty unconsiderate... Remus does these reckless things from time to time... but it did work, and that's what matters. Right? ;)

Thank you! So glad you enjoyed this chapter as well! No, I'm afraid the next one won't be happy... but I would love it if you get there just the same...

Thank you so much for the review, love!
Chiara


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Review #21, by my_voice_rising Children

3rd October 2016:
Hi there! Thank you so much for the review on Periphery. I'm glad to be here finally upholding my end of the swap :)

Peter/Remus! (??) (!!!) Wow, I definitely am intrigued by this.

I like that you've integrated the magical world in so nicely with children's games, particularly "building Hogwarts castle" and pretending to be a Phoenix. Sometimes authors tend to overdo the cutesy stuff when writing children, but yours is spot on, from Peter not listening when told to be careful, to Remus quickly growing bored of his Mum running into a longtime friend.

The relationship between Remus and his mother is a nice touch, too. It's so sad that his father wasn't around for Remus's first transformation as he seems to have promised to be. But I like that she is honest with him, telling him that yes, it will hurt. The sentence about her sitting outside the garage all night and staring at the moon is very beautiful; very haunting.

Peter coming to Remus's rescue is such a nice touch! So often Peter is completely written off as a spineless backstabbing monster in fic, but realistically he must have had some admirable traits, or the Marauders wouldn't have given him the time of day.

So even though Remus and Peter grew up together (for a short while, anyway) Peter won't find out about Remus's lycanthropy until Hogwarts? That's a nice touch. It will certainly add another level of surprise to its discovery.

Oooh and the darkness in Peter's voice that creeped his mother out. Foreshadowing much?? I love it!

My only suggestion is clarifying who is speaking in the last three lines of dialogue--at first I thought Remus's parents were saying that they wouldn't write and I was like *gasp* rude. Of course if I'd been using context clues, Remus's attitude, etc., that wouldn't have happened. But speaking of dialogue, you're so good at writing it! The chapter doesn't have much descriptive language at all but you do such a good job setting the tone with dialogue alone.

Nicely done! ♥

Author's Response: Hello, Sarah!
Welcome! :) And thank you for swapping!

Yes, Peter/Remus. Crazy, I know, but that's just how my mind works... (there is a reason, this is sort of a prequel to an AU fic I'm working on where Peter/Remus just sort of happened... anyway, I'm happy you're intrigued!)

Ah, I love to add little wizarding references in normal life, that's one of the things I adored in JK's books. And thank you, I'm glad you found my children believable. :)

I've always loved to imagine Remus' parents to be very caring and sweet, especially his mum. How else would he turn out so amazing despite everything he's gone through? I love that line too!

Ah, yes... my little Petey showing some Gryffindor bravery and loyalty. :) I've written him a lot and I've developed quite a precise headcanon for him that's probably different from what people would normally think. I'm actually quite fond of him (at least of the young him). But I'll save you any more rambling on the matter.

Yes, Peter will find out much later. And, well, keep reading and you'll find out his reaction! :P

Definitely a foreshadow... I wanted to show a glimpse of his darker side. He's vengeful and egocentric and can hold grudges, which are the elements that, in my opinion, led him to the betrayal, even more than his fear. (I know... I said no more Peter rambling... I'm sorry...)

Ops... it was actually John who said that "maybe"... I was thinking it in a sort of mocking way, but re-reading it, it does sound rude... I definitely didn't mean it that way! :O

I should go back and see if I can smooth that bit a little. And maybe add a few tags, because I have the bad tendency to write long bits of dialogue without specifying who's talking... Same for description, I'm not very good at it, but I'm improving... Glad you liked the chapter anyway! :)

Thank you so much for the swap and the lovely review!
Much love,
Chiara


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Review #22, by Ron 4 Hermione Marauders

2nd October 2016:
Hey, figured Id carry on since I really want to know what happens next! And hitting the Hufflepuff review tag while Im here :P

Aw, the letter is such a sweet touch! Poor Lupin, it must be hard to know that the two people he can talk freely about everything to are only accessible by a letter. Although YES! So glad to see he hates lying to Peter, hopefully the truth comes out soon. Its so strange to read about how he doesnt trust James and Sirius though, its an interesting twist and it makes this even more intriguing. I think I use that word too much when reviewing this story but I just always have questions and always want to read on! Hmm, I hope they were just being nice and that Remus wolf sense is off, although Im wondering if thats going to be some sort of plot twist!

Oooh, I was so confused but I see now! Wow, well I guess someone had to put them in their place and with Remus temperament at the full moon it makes sense that it's him. Hahaha, Lockhart! Omg, I love that mention. Aww, well that was unexpected but Im glad they seem to be friends now, and that Remus is feeling a little more trustful.

Oooh, this is getting tense! Omg, I cant believe they figured it out although I like that it was Sirius, was a nice touch as I think out of all three of them hed be the one to make that connection with the once a month/full moon. Oh no, I hope Peter is nice to him, at least James and Sirius seem to want to be nice. Although I hope they do ask him because I dont know if Peter is going to be able to keep it a secret and if he blurts it out that would be a nightmare. Aha, I love that little slip of the You cant be serious..Im not you are. Aha, that pun never gets old!

Aww, they told him? Yes they did! Omg, this makes me so happy! YAY!! I love how youve written this, like its honestly perfection! Look at Lily being all protective of Remus, and just immediately calling out James. Your writing is just filled with little details that make the characters so real and its just so good!

Oh, so Im guessing theyve started discussing becoming animagus? Bless them, and in third year! Well theyre loyalty cant be faulted.Although I can see both points of view because Remus knows its dangerous and obviously doesn't want to put the first friends whove accepted him in danger but likewise, they dont want to leave him in danger of himself. I love how youve written this just using dialogue as well, it really emphasises the conversation and just how stubborn both sides are being!

Ahahaha, yay a prank! How funny, and how clever of you to think up those rhymes! Im so impressed, I couldnt even rhyme 2 lines never mind a paragraph of my story. I love the prank and the idea that McGonagall gave them the idea to be called the marauders. I had no idea it actually meant something so thats really cool!

Oh my word, that last paragraph! Reduce me to pieces, break my heart, its fine! :P No, but seriously youve got across how Remus must have felt when he realised his friends could transform and spend the full moon with him. It must have been so life-changing and amazing and he must have been so happy! Aww, Im so glad it all worked out for them!

Well this was longer than I thought, I apologise if its all ramble but Im loving this story! Looking forward to reading the next chapter!

-Shaza :)

Author's Response: Shaza!!!
Aww... this was such a nice surprise, finding your review waiting for me yesterday morning... definitely brightened my Monday! :D
(And for the record, I don't mind rambling... feel free to do that as much as you want! :P)

I guess a lot of children would've felt homesick and missed their families when starting Hogwarts. For Remus this is particularly true, since he feels he can't trust anyone the way he trusts his parents... poor child...

And yes, obviously he hates lying to Peter... he knows he's being unfair to the only friend he has and he truly cares for him, but on the other hand he fears that Peter would be afraid of him if he knew the truth. In a way, he's trying to protect him.

James and Sirius... well, they can be quite a lot to deal with... they have good hearts, but we know they have a tendency to be overbearing, and Remus did have his fair lot of experience with bullies. Remus sees a lot of Duncan in them, which is the reason he can't trust them. In that case they were just being nice, though. :)

A few scenes are a bit confusing, I'm sorry about that... I'm trying to fit into the seven scenes structure and to do so I cut out a few moments that would've made the flow smoother... anyway...

Someone had to tell them off. ;) I'm not sure if Remus' words will have much of an effect on their behaviour anyway. :P Glad you liked Lockhart's mention. Eheheh! I guess Remus just needed to see how authentic they are, you know? Despite what he says, he does need friends.

For some reason, I thought it'd made sense for Sirius to be the one to make the connection. Peter would've never figured it out, because to him it would've been too absurd. And James just isn't reflective enough? I doubt Peter would be nasty to Remus anyway even if he does have some prejudices... Peter knows Remus and that makes all the difference. As for James and Sirius, they hate prejudices and just wouldn't care. At least, that's how I imagine it. :D (and yay for Sirius/serious puns. I love Sirius/serious puns. I didn't put enough of them in this story...)

Yes, they did! Glad you liked that scene! And I love Lily, she's brilliant! :) Glad you like the details and that you feel they give the characters depth!

Yes, they're starting to discuss Animagi. :) I'm glad the dialogue helped emphasizing the stubborness on both sides. And yay for Marauders' loyalty! Aren't they just awesome friends?

Ahahah! The prank! That took me quite some time to figure out... I have to say, writing rhymes in a language you're not sure the pronunciation of isn't easy... doing rhymes in Italian is much easier... :P but apparently it worked out! ;)

I'm glad you liked they got the idea for the name from McGonagall. It was actually an idea I took from Ysh's story, sort of... she had Peeves giving them the name but it was after a prank like here, so pretty similar circumstancies...

I'm sorry... or maybe not... :P Ah, I'm glad you think I captured Remus' emotions well there. After enduring it all alone for so long, it must've been so liberating and joyful to have someone by his side! Did I mention I love Remus?

Uh oh... I'm afraid I rambled even more than you did... hope you don't mind...

Thank you so much again for stopping by! I really hope you'll be back again, cause I'd love to know your thoughts on the rest!

All my love and hugs!
Chiara


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Review #23, by Ron 4 Hermione Gryffindors

2nd October 2016:
Hey there! :D

Aww, well doesnt that bring back awful memories of the first day of school and everyone being so much taller and more grown up than you! Poor Peter, it must have been hard enough and then he bumped into family who don't seem to nice and he didnt even know he had. The stark contrast between Remus and Peters experience on the train is a nice touch because while Peter does get brought into a compartment with family, albit they dont seem to nice, Lupin finds himself in a compartment with two people he doesnt know and it sounds like he spends it by himself.

Wow, Slytherin? I love that you made the hat dither and then eventually listen to Peter as to where he goes. I can see how it would make sense with some of what youve shown about him especially in the first chapter. It really makes him feel more complex and shows another side than just the typical brave Gryffindor side.

Aww, this story really does make you feel sorry for Peter! He must have been so hurt and upset at being left by Remus but Im glad he was willing to make friends with him again. Even if it is with a rather big lie between them.

Your observations are amazing! I love the little extra details and depth they give to the story. Although kind of makes me want to strangle Remus, haha! I hope Peter finds out soon, I feel like this secrecy can only go on for so long! Aww, no! See this is why Remus needs to tell! I hope they make back up. I mean I can understand why Remus doesnt want to tell but its so frustrating haha!

Oooh, I wonder if Peter will just work it out by logic! Ben missing 3 times in 3 months.although I suppose thats only obvious to me because I know! Good on him for getting the courage to speak to James and Sirius! I hope this is the start of a beautiful friendship between the three(four) of them! Although now Im curious how Remus will react when he knows Peter has been with them?

Another fab chapter, this is such an intriguing story!

-Shaza :)

Author's Response: First day of school is hard... I had that feeling in my first year of middle school, being so little compared to the older kids... glad you could empathize with Peter, but sorry for bringing back bad memories... :/

Ah, I'm glad you liked the contrast between the two of them. I don't think either of them had a particularly nice first trip to Hogwarts, though...

Well, apparently it is canon for Peter being an hatstall (or so my canon-expert beta Ysh tells me...) and it just makes sense in my opinion. Peter can be brave and loyal, but we know he has a much darker side and we know he chose to save himself and sacrifice others in the end. He definitely has a bit of Slytherin in him, don't you agree?

Peter is very hurt and upset about Remus abandoning him... but they'll make up, at least for now...

I'm glad you liked the observations bit and the details they add. Oh, I know... but don't be too hard on Remus, he's gone through a lot and is just scared of suffering again...

I don't think it would be so easy to figure out. Also because it is something I doubt Peter would take into consideration... but you'll find out more about it all in the next chapter (if you happen to come back and read on...)

Yay for Peter talking to James and Sirius! You'll find out more about that in the next chapter, too... but yes, the Marauders are definitely in the making! ;)

Thank you for swapping with me! I'm do glad you enjoyed this chapter too! And I'm so happy I got the chance to read your Lavender story, it really was amazing!!!

Love and hugs,
Chiara


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Review #24, by dreamgazer220 Heartbreakers

25th September 2016:
CHIARA HI! ♥♥

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get here, but I'm finally here with your requested review!!

This chapter was definitely titled properly. I really love how you took aspects of canon and weaved it from someone else's POV. That's one of the great things about fic, being able to see scenes we know from a different perspective.

And I love your boys. I loved seeing James after the werewolf incident; I don't read a lot of marauders, but I really loved the way you handled his outburst. It reminded me a bit of Harry in OotP, and I liked that a lot.

But poor Peter :( I can't believe you have me say these things with sincerity! That breakup in the hospital was so harsh, but also really realistic. I could definitely see Remus withdrawing from everyone after that incident and that you tied it back to Remus and Peter's childhood a bit.

You asked about the flow in your request, and I think the flow is good! You have a lot of great dialogue all the time, which keeps the pace moving and it never seems to really drag down, even when you add the bit of description, which was especially apparent at Peter's birthday.

The section breaks worked well, as in where you stopped and started, but it did take me a little while to figure out which instance you were talking about until you came out and said it. I'm not sure if there was a way you could mention that earlier? Or maybe even just putting the year after the break so that we know where we are? Otherwise, though, I think you're handling the year gaps very well! It's one of the many things I love about this story. ♥

I also absolutely loved the parallelism between the fallout with Snape and Lily and the breakup with Peter. How it was only a word that destroyed them, but a word that packed such a huge meaning to both Remus and Lily - and ironically, both words started with 'm'! Did you do that on purpose? It worked really well, I loved it!

I also loved the juxtaposition from the beginning of this chapter to the end. You could really see how much had changed in just this chapter alone, from when everyone was acting sort of carefree in the beginning to when they're being cold and distant. I also can't help but feel a bit bad for Dorcas, I wonder where that's going to go - if anywhere.

Another fabulous chapter for this wonderful story! And thank you for the request - come back anytime!!

♥♥♥
Jill

Author's Response: Hi, Jill!
Ah, no worries! Thank you for stopping by at all! And sorry if it took me so long to answer... I've been terrible at review answering recently...

This was sort of heartbreaking, wasn't it? I'm sorry about that... and I'm glad you enjoyed seeing a known scene from a different perspective. I must admit, I'm quite happy with how the Mudblood incident from Peter POV turned out in the end...

That makes me happy! Especially that James reminded you of Harry... they are different in many ways (Harry is much more mature and responsible), but they also have a lot in common. They are both fiercely loyal and value friendship above anything. And they're both reckless and have quite a temper... :P Erm... but I fear I'm digressing again...

I know... poor Peter... but I have to say, it makes me sort of proud when I make people feel bad for him... I'm glad you thought that the breakup was realistic and that you could see where Remus was coming from.

I'm glad the flow was good and that the section breaking wasn't (too) confusing. I still need to work on cohesiveness... I will learn one day...

No, I definitely didn't do that on purpose, but I love it now that you mention it. The M-words... :O Glad you liked the parallel with Lily and Severus.

A lot has changed in this chapter, and I'm afraid things won't get better from here... I'm working on chapter 6 (very slowly) so you'll probably find out soon, also about Dorcas.

Thank you so much for another wonderful review! I will totally request again (when I'll be done with the next chapter, which might take months...)

Love you so much,
Chiara


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Review #25, by Ron 4 Hermione Children

24th September 2016:
Hey Chiara, here for the Hufflepuff review swap!

I dont think Ive actually read a story focused on Peter as the main character before so Im excited to read this and see how you portray him!

I love how you set the chapter up, Peters mum actually makes me think Peter could have turned out quite shy as she seems quite overprotective. Although I suppose most mothers wouldnt want their child to be in pain. And you make Peter sound like such a cute child, its strange to imagine him as the one who betrayed Lily and James but I guess at this point he isnt.

Aww no, I think youve just broke my heart! Poor Remus, having to transform all by himself when hes so young. He must have been so scared, especially for the first time. Again I love the motherly love you show with Silvia staying outside all night.

And things just get worse. Kids can be so mean, and I definitely think thats an important part to show. Makes the idea of him being a marauder so much sweeter. And I love how Peter tries to stand up for Remus even though he doesnt know whats going on. With what he does when hes older its easy to forget he was a Gryffindor and I think him sticking up for Remus shows that perfectly!

Now I feel sorry for Peter, which isnt something I ever thought I would! Remus was rather mean to him (although I get why) but now hes just left him! That must have hurt, especially being so young and he doesnt even know why. Im glad something made him smile, even if only a little one. Its his birthday and he deserved that!

Oh, leaving for Hogwarts must have been a terrifying time for Remus and I think youve done a great job in showing that! He has to leave the two people he was closest too, and the two people who know and accept his condition and now hes going to have to live with others his own age. And after what other people his age have done to him, no wonder hes scared.

This was a great start to what seems like its going to be an interesting story! Im going to have to come back and read on!

- Shaza :)

Author's Response: Hi, Shaza!
So, now I owe you two review responses... I've been so lazy at this recently and I'm sorry...

I'm so happy you are intrigued by this. Peter's stories are not very frequent and that's a pity. He is a much complex character than often depicted and, I swear, so fascinating to explore. I must confess, I've developed a little affection for him. Weird, I know...

That's exactly what I was doing for with Mary. She is overprotective and Peter does turn out quite shy and uncertain as a result. At this point in his life he's just a child like many others. The betrayal is still far away.

It always breaks my heart to think about Remus going through all that since such an early age... the poor child... I hated myself a little writing that scene, but then again, we know this happened...

And poor Silvia as well... can you imagine how hard it must've been for her? I'm glad you liked the motherly love there!

Kids can be so nasty. I could totally imagine something like this happening. It also explain why Remus is so reticent to share his secret with anyone. I'm glad you liked Peter showing some Gryffindor bravery and loyalty.

Poor Peter... Remus was unfair to him, but you can't really blame him... after everything that happened he's just scared of Peter's reaction and worried for his safety. I'm happy I made you feel sorry for Peter, though! #authorpride

Leaving for Hogwarts was scary for Remus. He's obviously very close to his parents and he worries about all the things that could go wrong... he does that a bit too much but, once again, can you really blame him? Fortunately we know he'll meet some pretty amazing friends and that he'll be riunited to Peter soon. :)

I'm so glad you enjoyed this first chapter! This story is currently my main focus/obsession and I'm so thrilled that it's been received so well so far!

Thanks so much for the lovely review!
Chiara


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