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Reading Reviews for Breathe No More
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Felpata Lupin Breathe No More

3rd March 2016:
Wow! Just, wow!
This was so tense, so unsettling, so beautiful!
The way you wrote Victoire, her claustrophoby, her panic, was perfect and really made me feel what she was feeling! I loved the style you chose, how it reflected perfectly the mood! Great work on this!
Like Cassie, I really hope they found her in time and what started as an innocent prank didn't end up in tragedy. (Side note. What her cousins did was really cruel... Phobias are not something to kid with... Then, again, when you are young you don't understand the seriousness of certain actions, right?)
Anyway, this was really a great story! I enjoyed reading so much! (Ok, maybe enjoy isn't the right word, but you know what I mean)
Tons of love and good luck for February SOTM!

Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEW! I was so excited for nominated for SOTM I am so glad you enjoyed it

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Review #2, by CassiePotter Breathe No More

18th February 2016:
Hello! I'm here for the Hufflepuff review exchange!
This was a really amazing story! I loved it! It was so unique and the writing style was incredible! It really made it feel like I was inside Victoire's head as I was reading.
I thought you did a really great job giving us information about Victoire and helping us get to know her character without overloading us with description. You wove the details in as the story went on- so we know roughly how old she is, that she plays quidditch, that she loves Teddy- but they didn't take away from what was happening to Victoire. The focus was still on the fact that she's claustrophobic and shut in a tiny space.
I loved the way you made the sentences really fragmented when Victoire was freaking out. It made it feel very real, and I actually got really nervous for her! I feel so bad that she was locked in there when it made her so scared. And she stopped breathing at the end! I hope someone found her soon after that and got her to wake up!
This was an excellent story, and you did a lot in a really short piece. I really enjoyed it!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Cassie,

Omg! Thanks so much for the review it makes me feel so good that you liked it! I actually was having doubts about the style and so many people have praised it! Thanks again

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Review #3, by No-One (blind Arya Stark) Breathe No More

15th February 2016:
Hello--I am sure you're wondering who this might be but a girl is sincerely No-one. She's been blind for well over a year and is in the middle of her training and being blind is apparently part of it.

Now, as to why a girl is here: a strange man with an odd voice and demeanor came and asked her if she can leave you a review on your tale for something he called 'Secret Cupid' (whatever in the Seven Hells that is). Now, to be honest one doesn't have to be able to see to tell that this man's a flippant idiot and was rather irritating (if a girl had known she was going to meet him sooner, she would've given his name to her mentor Jaqen H'ghar and been done with it).

In speaking of Jaqen, he thought this would be a good exercise as part of a girl's training. So here I am!

A girl can't help but feel so bad for Victoire, trapped in a closet with no way out and you described the initial scene very well and it truly made a girl feel as if she was in Victoire's place. One could hear her breathing and state of panic, it's almost as if you could see her frightened eyes flickering around in total fear. One enjoyed how you conveyed this fear and the subsequent reactions regardless, be it physical, mental, and emotional. you did an excellent job conveying all of these in a lovely, descriptive manner. In a way, it reminds one of where she was from in the North and her family (she still has one right? No, a girl is no-one and has no family).

This is a fantastic story that while heartbreaking is beautiful in its' own way, you wrote something I think everyone should give a read because this sort of fear is very real, as are the consequences. Thank you for sharing this!

P.S. -- your secret cupid also wishes to apologize that they could not give you more for this special event as life and limited resources got in the way but they hope you enjoyed your review!

Author's Response: Thanks so much, No One, It means so much that you liked it!

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Review #4, by The Basilisk Breathe No More

28th December 2015:
Happy Holidaysss!

'They may be laughing outside of the cupboard door, but Victoire was sure as hell not locked inside.' - I think you mean she was locked inside? Meaning is unclear in this rather critical sentence ;)

Yikesss, did she pass out or...? That's quite horrifying experience. I'm not claustrophobic, but I can sense the urgency and fear Victorie is experiencing here. I hope they let her out! That's not funny at all. Children can be quite cruel, mostly unknowingly so. Quite the terrifying one-shot! Good luck in the challenges.

Hiss hiss,
The Basilisk

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! I'm glad you liked it I was worried no one would like it hehe

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