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Reading Reviews for Blood Moon
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by lia_2390 Blood Moon

28th May 2016:
Hi Vicki. It's Lia from TGS here with your review :)

First let me say this was a well thought out story. I always loved it when author's ventured beyond the norms and tackled minor characters, especially those like your Fenrir Greyback. Even with Daphne taking the lead here, showing that she is way more than Astoria's sister.

In your introduction, you give the readers a taste of what was to come. Daphne's unease, and the inciting event that ultimately lead to her demise. I also appreciated the fact that this story did not have a happy ending - at all. I'm not a grim sort of person (on most days), but this was different than most.

I find that you have the tendency to tell a lot, but not show it. This was one of the issues I had when I reviewed your entries for promotions for May. I felt this piece could have been so much stronger this way. Like in this sentence: "Stupefy!” Daphne shouted loudly and she watched as Greyback, who hadn’t been expecting it, fly backwards, hitting the wall on the opposite side of the room."

You could have described the shock marring his face as he flew into the wall. Then his expression changing from shock to annoyance, then full rage.

Another point here is beginning your sentences with an action: "Scrambling to get up, Daphne got out of the cupboard and ran through the living room…". I have a habit of doing this sometimes, then I change up the wording so that I still keep the essence of my sentence. Does that make sense? Because it can interrupt the flow.

My advice would be to read - whether it be fics, or novels - and see how they make the transition. So for your one-shot, how palpable was Daphne's fear? At the end, I think she knew she was going to die. Maybe a part of her gave up long before she cast that flimsy stunning hex. I think the last part of your story was the strongest (and saddest).

Overall, I think it was a good one-shot :)

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Review #2, by BellaLestrange87 Blood Moon

12th March 2016:
Hi there! I'm here for your second of five reviews from my Review-a-Thon pledge!

Ooh, this is really creepy. I can picture myself in that house, hearing every creak and groan of the house and wondering if it's something benign or something I need to worry about.

I'm curious as to why Daphne ended up in the house. Did it have to do with the article she wrote that seemed to insult Greyback (who I assume got out of prison)? I wonder why nobody helped her if it is.

So now I know why he's after here, and I'm still wondering why she didn't go to anybody for help. Surely the Aurors would be able to help her, especially if they were already looking for him already.

So even though I knew that Daphne was going to die at the end it still made me sad. You did a great job of gradually revealing information about her so that we could get to know her as someone more than "minor character and I don't remember if they were named in the book that's how minor they are". The chase when she was trying to run away from Greyback was very suspenseful and I wished she would make it. (Why couldn't she just Apparate away? She had her wand.)

I really enjoyed this and I'll be back for your final three reviews soon!

~Olivia

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Review #3, by Pookha Blood Moon

6th January 2016:
Well, that was terrifying, in a good way. You do a great job building the fear through the chase, getting a sense of urgency going and then keeping the pressure on.

Fenrir here is appropriately animalistic and dangerous, and is shown as someone to be feared.

Your description is masterful, and it is clear and full without being overwhelming in it's descriptiveness (I hope that made sense, lol).

I also like that you imply a lot about other things that Fenrir might be doing to his victims without explicitly stating what they are, letting the reader picture it for themselves.

A great, atmospheric read.

BvB review.

Author's Response: Hi Pookha!

Thank you! That was my main concern in this - action is not my strong point so I'm glad you feel that this was good and I built the fear up well!

He genuinely scares me so I knew I had to portray that here so I am really glad he comes across this way. I think everyone would be scared to be confronted by him so I wanted to get that across that he is a terrifying monster.

Thank you! I do try and work on my descriptions so I really happy you enjoyed them and it wasn't too much!

Well I always get this underlying feeling about Greyback - he really gives me the chills for obvious reasons and it's not stretch to think he could be doing worse things than killing his 'prey'.

thank you so much for the wonderful review!

-Vicki


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Review #4, by Musing Blood Moon

22nd December 2015:
Hi there!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hope you are enjoying your holidays! Here for spreading some holiday cheer in the form of a review for the QTR Holiday Fun!

Woah! This was really a frightening story. It's no good that it was raining heavily outside making all forms of strange sounds against my window, specially when I was reading the part of Daphne hiding in the closet. I was myself on edge the whole time I read this. :P Your descriptions are great and have a lasting effect. I could easily grasp the tension and panic coursing the Daphne.

I already knew that Daphne was going to die by the end, but given the bravery she had shown, stupefying the monster two times and doing all in her strength to flee from him, I really wished that she would somehow be saved from the monster. I really loved the way you depicted the fight Daphne puts up. I really liked your depiction of Fenrir as well. The way you depicted him as the loathsome monster is completely up to the mark. I adored the background you came up with for this story, those two times Daphne had been unfortunate to being noticed by Greyback and then the article she had written about him. Those little things made it all more believable.

This was a really great story. Thanks for a good read!

-Emm ^_^

Author's Response: Hi Emm!

Merry Christmas!! Happy New Year too!

Thank you! I take that as a compliment! Oh god, I hope you're okay! That certainly doesn't help though! I could feel myself on edge whilst writing it! Thank you so much! That really means a lot!

I'm glad you feel like that! I found myself not wanting to kill her but obviously, that was the point of the challenge but it killed me to do it! I found Fenrir hard to write but I just focused on the terrifying aspect of him and went from there! Thank you! I knew I had to link them somehow so I'm glad it worked!

Thank you for reading and leaving me such a lovely review!

-Vicki


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Review #5, by The Basilisk Blood Moon

21st December 2015:
I am a big, scary Basilisk, and you've got my shaking in my imaginary boots! This is truly terrifying! There are shivers running down my ssscales!

Daphne Greengrass is a very little-known character, but here you gave her a great little story.. only for it to then be ended so tragically and frighteningly. The description of Greyback seeing her at Malfoy Manor and then again at the Battle of Hogwarts was creepy, and then it got even creepier in Daphne's last few moments.

I was very curious about Tristan and I kept wondering and hoping he would appear. And your description of what Greyback did to poor Daphne was so chilling! If it were possible, I'd have Basilisk goosebumps!

This is so wonderfully written! I may have to ssslither back to your author's page again soon!

Author's Response: Hey there Basilisk!

Thank you so much! She is, so I absolutely love her because I get to explore her a little more! Thank you! I'm glad it was creepy, that was the plan so i'm glad it came across like that!

I wanted to make it seem as though there was a possibility he could come and help but obviously, she had to die in the end! Aww, thank you! That's an amazing compliment!

Ooooh, thank you so much for you wonderful review and I hope you come back soon!

-Vicki


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Review #6, by cherry_pop94 Blood Moon

20th December 2015:
Hello! I'm here for day twenty-one of the advent calendar!

This is such a great story. It was really, really frightening. When I read what challenge it was for, I already knew the ending, I knew that Daphne would die, but I just kept hoping that she wouldn't.

The way you describe Fenrir is terrifying. He's such a monster. The word choice I think really contributed to this. Words like violated. Greyback's assaults have always had a sexual assault undertone in the books and this reminded me of that a lot.

I think this was a really powerful, well done piece. I commend you for taking on what I think must have been a hard challenge!

Thank you for sharing!

Stefanie

Author's Response: Hey Stefanie, sorry it's taken forever to respond!

Aww, thank you! That's the only think with it - you know she has to die but I wanted to make it as suspenseful as I could so i'm glad you really liked it!

Thank you! I was creeped out writing him but i wanted to make him as terrifying as I could! Thank you - I sometimes struggle with word choice so i'm glad the words really worked and helped the atmosphere! That was what I was aiming for - I always feel his attacks are personal and violating so I hoped it would come across that way!

Awww, thank you so much!! That really means a lot!

-Vicki


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