Reading Reviews for Bedtime for Luna
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Gail Welin Bedtime for Luna

5th March 2016:
Hi pookha!

I'm here to (finally) review your entry for my Sleeping Habits Challenge before I (finally) announce the results!

I really love Luna and I feel you've characterized her wonderfully! As looney as most think her to be, she's a calm soul with pretty much everything under control - the best part in this is that she does not seek control. She pretty much lives in harmony with everything :p

Zephira the kneazle and a bush of Dirigible plums are both a really nice touch. Kneazles are such amazing creatures; I've always loved Crookshanks even more for being half-and-half :p
I may have spotted a small typo here "She scritched Zephira".

I wonder if Lorcan is the only one of the two to have long hair that needs brushing? Lysander is probably the "stronger" one between them both. Back to that hair-brushing - is Luna brushing her son's hair while he's lying down in bed with his head on his pillow, half asleep? If yes, I'd like to point out that the scraping of the brush on the pillowcase would be uncomfortably annoying. The mental picture is really cute, though; I like the idea of falling asleep with my mother brushing my hair, it's soothing and feels safe.

I like that Luna's sleeping habits aren't her own per say - she takes care of her loved ones, of her home, her environment. She's a mom, tidies up behind everybody before going to bed. Also, I love that her open-mindedness reaches so far as to spare garden gnomes :p

The melody that immediately sprang to my mind when she sung the lullaby was kind of like the "Hush, little baby" one.

This was a really cute and sweet read! Thank you for writing this!


Author's Response: I'll start off with 'scritch'. Scritch is a variant of scractch and generally it will be someone scritching an animal; gently rubbing at their head with nails lightly to kind of mark them like they would mark with a paw. It's a type of reciprocal marking.

While it doesn't say so, I would picture Luna putting her son's head in her lap to brush it.

Thank you so much for the nice review. I always feel that Luna's at peace, too, and would project that peace onto her family. I thought it important to show that while she's weird (in a good way), she's loving and gentle and cares about not only her family, but all creatures. She accepts that Zephira's a hunter, but doesn't really want to assist in that hunt. I picture her as a vegetarian because she has that choice, but she wouldn't push her choice on others unless asked.

I meant the lullaby to sound somewhat generic, so that's good that that's the melody you picture.

Thanks again for issuing the challenge. I appreciate the chance to get back into writing here.

 Report Review

Review #2, by ravenclaw_princess Bedtime for Luna

13th January 2016:
Hello. Here for BvB.

I picked this story as I was interested in what people did with the bedtime challenge. This is a very sweet story and I love Luna. Personally, I don't think I could ever do her character justice so I admire everyone that can write her well, which you have.

The characteristics that define Luna are incorporated seamlessly into this story, with the Dirigible Plums and the Kneazle and then the garden-gnomes being good luck. Luna is very sweet and i can tell she would make a great mother. She comes across as so relaxed and easy going as well that it's hard to think of anything ever phasing her.

I like how she talks to her mum at the end, it s part of Luna that you don't see very often and it also shows the love she has for Rolf.

I noted a small consistency error. Before the Lullaby, Luna is brushing Lorcan's hair, but then after, she is brushing Lysanders. Maybe she moved from one of her sons to the next, it just didn't specifically I thought I'd point it out :)

The is a really lovely story and I feel relaxed and peaceful now after reading it. Well done


Author's Response: Thank you so much for catching that continuity error. The nice part of being a TA is fixing stuff like that right away, so I fixed it right away. Much, much appreciated.

Glad you enjoyed this sweet little story of Luna, Rolf and her children. I think it shows that I love writing Luna and take great care with her characterization.

Thank you so much for this nice review. This is a kneazle-approved review!

 Report Review

Review #3, by CassiePotter Bedtime for Luna

6th January 2016:
Hello there! I'm here for our review swap!
As soon as I saw this story on your author's page, I knew I wanted to read it, and I'm so glad I did! It was absolutely lovely! I've never read another story here that focused on a character getting ready for bed, but I thought it was really interesting!
I thought this totally fit Luna's character. I'm not at all surprised that she keeps a kneazle for a pet, and loved the mention of garden gnomes being good luck, like her father tells her in Deathly Hallows.
The moment with her sons was so sweet, and I loved that they were all snuggled up together. Luna talking to her mother about Rolf while she brushed her hair was absolutely lovely, and she and Rolf together were really cute.
This story just radiated peace, and I loved it! Thank you for the review swap!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review swap, also! I'm glad you enjoyed reading this. I kinda specialize in writing Luna, and I'm always happy to hear I got her characterization right, as she can be tricky.

So peaceful is what I was going for with this. Happy with her family, missing her mother still, and at peace with her life.

Glad you enjoyed it.

 Report Review

Review #4, by oldershouldknowbetter Bedtime for Luna

6th January 2016:
I had a story in mind for this challenge, but events got too hectic for me to complete it, so it is great to read the story of someone who actually made time and wrote one. I have been wanting to review something of yours since you left a lovely review for me in the Christmas gift it exchange. And then along you come and ninja me in the BvB - just as you had been ninja'd yourself.

Oh, it's so good to finally see a kneazle in the flesh, as it were. I have only really ever known one to be used as a measure of room dimensions before now.

And of course Luna has a kneazle and of course there is a dirigible plum tree in her backyard: nothing that I have ever thought of till now, but it will be ever more enshrined in my head-cannon now, thanks to you.

Speaking of head-cannons, it is one of mine that all magical creatures are somewhat smarter than their mundane equivalents - I say as much in an upcoming chapter of my own story. The way you have shown it here is very subtly done. Luna tells Zephira to check in upon the boys, and that's exactly what she does.

I like how competent you have shown Luna to be as a mother. Quite often one might mistake her unworldliness for being ditsy, but it is not so. She shows quite an alarming presence of mind in the books, when the reader least expects her too. So you show us here that she will be a very able mother to her two boys. She might fill their heads up with nonsense later on, but she will not be anything less than what a good mother should be.

I like the lullaby, it is one of your own invention, or is it a traditional one from somewhere?

The mention of her mother is sweet indeed. It brings a necessary weight to the tail of your story. In her parenting is an echo of what came before. Lovely.

Oh, I should have waited, the lullaby is your own, as such it is well done indeed. I wouldn't have been surprised if it had a note 'translated from the traditional Swedish, or Estonian, or something-or-other.'

A sweet little tale that is a lovely paean to the character of Luna. Whatever else someone may say of her, she deserves to be a good mother to her two boys.


Author's Response: Thanks so much for the nice review, it's almost as long as the story itself, so it's much appreciated. As soon as I found out that Luna had married Rolf, I knew they'd have Kneazles as Newt and Porpentina had Hoppy, Milly and Mauler. It's not stated here, but Zephira is a descendant of Newt's kneazles.

I always think that adult Luna is portrayed too strangely and I strive to still make her unique, but not nuts. She's also an excellent judge of character, just like a kneazle. I also think she'd be a great mother, so I'm glad you enjoyed that too.

Ah, the lullaby, I just came up with it on the spot as I was writing, I'm sure it's got some traditional basis to it.

 Report Review

Review #5, by Beeezie Bedtime for Luna

1st January 2016:
Hey, I'm here for BvB!

This was such a cute story! I loved the way you integrated a lot of the things that we know and love about Luna from the very start. I can absolutely see her arguing with a kneazle to not go after gnomes, even though I feel like it's probably about as much use as arguing with a cat to not go after mice! I also really enjoyed the way you drew a parallel between her saying good night to Lorcan and Lysander and her remembering her own mother. It makes sense that Luna would think of her in the quiet moments when everyone else is asleep, and my heart went out to her when she said she wished her mother had been able to meet Rolf. Those quiet moments can really be the hardest, and while you didn't dwell on it, it definitely stood out to me, and it gave her brief conversation with Rolf when she gets in bed a lot more meaning than it would otherwise. I really enjoyed this. The peace surrounding her entire routine was really refreshing, and it's nice to think of Luna like this. Great job!


Author's Response: Thank you so much for the very kind review. I'm glad you enjoyed this. I really like to write Luna and think I have a feel for her. I also like to alternate dark stories and fluff.

This is my first original fic here in a while, so it's nice to get a bit of good feedback on it as I start to get back into the swing of it here.

Thanks so much for the BvB review.

 Report Review

Review #6, by The Basilisk Bedtime for Luna

12th December 2015:
Not one of the Christmasss ssstoriesss that you cleverly pointed out on the forums but I felt it fitting to give attention to sssomething elssse on your page. That which is written for a non-festive time neeedsss attention as well, no?

Over all, you did a nice job. Luna is a unique character and you painted a lovely picture of a happy home and life. While I enjoy the thrillsss of a dark tale sssometimesss one needs a little light in their life. You have provided such and it is sssweet that you show how Luna ssstill carriesss the memory of her mother even as she readiesss for bed.

While the ssstory is lovely, one small note of critique, I feel that the note about the lullaby being written by you would be bessst sssuited for the ssstart or end of your ssstory. I commend your lovely work on the lullaby but the note in the middle of the ssstory broke thingsss up a bit. Otherwissse nice job.

Author's Response: OMG, thanks for pointing out the author's note got stuck in a weird place, I've fixed it. Sometimes the editor doesn't like my cut and paste even with the simple editor.

Thank you so much for the nice review and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I really like writing fluff as a break from what I usually write.

 Report Review

Review #7, by Dusk Lupin Bedtime for Luna

3rd December 2015:

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login