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Reading Reviews for Salem
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore Poisoned Kisses, Honeyed Lies

30th December 2015:
Hello again! Sorry it's taken me a while to get to this, but I've not had much time (and still don't) so this will just be a quick review - I wanted you to know that I'm still reading and enjoying this story!

I really loved this chapter and the way that we get to learn more about Abigail and all the events unfolding in Salem. Those events are already really interesting anyway, but to read about them from the perspective of a character like Abigail and to have the story incorporating the HP universe is really cool.

Abigail and Tom's relationship (if it can be called a relationship? I'm not quite sure how to describe it at the moment) would definitely be condemned by the community if they found out about it. It seems like a lot of the girls seem to fancy Tom but nevertheless I think the opening scene tells us a lot about Abigail's character. She isn't someone who conforms to the rules as expected and she has a lot of knowledge about other things going on in the town - though perhaps not quite everything?

I loved seeing the interactions between Abigail and her family - Deliverance doesn't seem to know anything about her stepdaughter's magic and it's really intriguing that she's married into the family without that knowledge. I kind of imagined that witches and wizards would marry other witches and wizards if possible when they were under so much threat but they clearly didn't think they'd be under threat at this point. I'm so intrigued to see what will happen with Abigail with all of the events that are about to begin...

The events in the church were so scary and chilling, especially since we know what's going to happen and what they're starting. I'm so intrigued to see what's going to happen next, how people react to what's happening in the church and what sort of explanation you choose to provide for what's happening. Part of me even wonders whether Abigail and Tom might be part of the trigger for all these events and that doesn't exactly fill me with confidence...

You've done a really good job creating the atmosphere for this story and I really enjoyed this chapter!

Sian :)

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Review #2, by darkkid Yellow Bird, Dark Man

3rd December 2015:
First and foremost - BRAVO!

What an excellent - EXCELLENT - first chapter. Immediately I'm pulled into your story. You're set up just in the first paragraph is phenomenal.

I have become increasingly curious about Tom and his temper. And especially how this all ties in with Salem, which we all know what happens there. (Mostly, anyway. I'm not overly familiar with the events but some of those names you mentioned certainly ring a bell.) I do know things don't end well and I have to say I certainly agree with the narrator here, it would have been in his best interest to take out those girls. If only he knew.

And this has nothing to do with the content in your story here - but I am very tickled that your story has 666 words which... well, it added to the dramatic effect of this first chapter. For me, anyway!

Anyways, GREAT WONDERFUL CAPTIVATING (I'm running out of adjectives) FIRST CHAPTER!

Until next time! Cheers!


Author's Response: Raisha,
Thank you incredibly much for such a kind review. I can't even begin to say how grateful I am for your feedback.

I'm so glad you're curious about how this story will play out. It's definitely a dark period, and there'll be a lot of drama going on.

Thanks for noticing the 666, haha!

And thank you again for such a lovely review!

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Review #3, by nott theodore Yellow Bird, Dark Man

1st December 2015:
Hi there! I saw this story in the recently added pages and it seemed really intriguing, so I came to have a read!

I really enjoyed this first chapter! It was only short but I think you've done a great job of capturing the reader's interest and pulling them into the story; I'd love to have another chapter of this to read already, actually.

The premise for this story is so intriguing that it grabbed my attention instantly. I don't know a lot about the Salem Witch Trials (I'm from the other side of the pond :P) but I have seen the play The Crucible performed and so it was great to be able to recognise the names of the people who played an important role in this period in history and wonder how you're going to use them in this story. Tying them into magic and the Harry Potter story is such a fantastic idea - since the witch trials in England seem to be kind of brushed over in the books (and witches apparently freezed the flames and were rarely caught), I'm interested to see what happened in America at the same time and whether the 'real' witches and wizards will be able to survive here.

I loved the little link back to the series, too, in that George Burroughs had attended Hogwarts before he came over to Salem - I thought that little detail was great and helped anchor the story even more; it's already a well-known tale, but you've established the connection between the two really clearly already.

I have just a couple of tiny points of CC for you (and they really are minor) - this chapter is already so polished and well-edited that you should be really pleased with it, but I think if you wanted to you could capitalise the words like 'Muggle' and 'Transfiguration' that are capitalised in the books to standardise it a little more. The second point isn't even really CC, more curiosity, but I wondered if it was intentional that you didn't share the narrator's name in the first chapter? If not, it might be an idea to include their name somewhere so the reader can connect a little more easily with them.

I really liked the way that you built up the suspense and the tension here in this chapter. There's such a sense of foreboding here, and all of us already know that some terrible events are about to take place, but at the same time you told this in a really compelling way and I can't resist wanting to read on...

Sian :)

(Also, if you've been around a while and love HPFF, you should come and join the forums, too - it's a lot of fun and we've got some great activities going on right now!)

Author's Response: First off, I want to say thank you so much! And to be honest, I'm kind of awed that you reviewed, because I've read a few of your stories and they're amazing.

Haha, the first chapter is supposed to be like the prologue, and I don't know if you noticed, but it's 666 words, which I thought was appropriate considering the material of the story.

I'm so pleased you liked the premise of the story! I've been reading a book about the Salem trials, and the idea just sort of hit me.

Thanks for the capitalization suggestions! I'll really take that into account! And the leaving out of the narrator's name in the first chapter is intentional. :)

I've just recently joined the forums, actually, (like two days ago) but I'm not really sure how it works yet. I've heard it's cool though, so I'll definitely try to get a move on with that.

Thank you so much for your lovely review!


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