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Reading Reviews for Eye of the Beholder
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Secret Cupid Eye of the Beholder

14th February 2016:
Oh my, that was upsetting. It's terrible to read about someone who can't even love herself! If only an arrow of mine could fix it. Alas, Narcissus seems to have proven what a terrible idea that would be.

Nonetheless, it was a fantastic piece of writing. It takes a lot of skill to effectively convey feelings so effectively, and you've proven to be quite talented! I felt right along with Millicent, as awful as that feeling was.

Great job, darling!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing =)

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Review #2, by fwoopersong8 Eye of the Beholder

20th January 2016:
NO! Sadness! :(

You know, I always respect the people who can take a person like Millicent or Pansy and make me genuinely feel for her.

Nice job in the Totally Platonic Challenge by the way :)

But back to business. I never liked the way Rowling talked about overweight characters in the books. I mean, I get Dudley is annoying and Harry doesn't like him, but...come on. It's really sad that Millicent thinks like this! I thought that the Ravenclaw was going to help her, but then you made it a million times sadder by having her run away at the end. I hope he pursues her. I also hope she realizes that those mean girls aren't telling the truth because people tell lies all the time.

Man, you just hit me right in the feels. :(

Anyway, on a lighter, more annoying note, you said in your edit that you fixed a typo. But you know what I did? (evil laugh) I found another typo. }:) "all you can do I grunt like a gorilla?"

You're welcome. }:)

I don't know how to express what I feel about this story. It's really sad. That's all I can say. Just really sad.

Good job.

~Songs

Author's Response: Hey songs,

Of course there is another Typo. How do they keep slipping through my fingers? Gah! I'll have to jump on and fix it when I get the chance.

Thanks for finding it and thanks for reading. I'm pleased I got you in the feels with this one *winks*

xx-Ellie


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Review #3, by Freda_and_Georgina Eye of the Beholder

9th January 2016:
Hello! I'm here with your Hot Seat review!

For someone who is a Hufflepuff, you really like writing about Slytherins. Kind of ironic how good you are at it.

So, this story: wow. That was rather intense. The voice was harsh but when someone's in that deep of despair it really is that mean and discouraging. I (Georgina) am part of a group that sometimes addresses this nasty voice to those we minister to so, in that sense, it was very relatable. I was curious how you were going to tie in the nasty voice to the active situation and I thought you did so nicely. Kevin is really nice, though he kind of threw the whole you're-so-pretty thing on her quickly. But still, it's a really good contrast between Kevin who loves Millicent for who she is and Millicent hating her for who she is.

Small typo: you say "A boy finally talks to you and all you can do I grunt like a gorilla?" when I think you meant "A boy finally talks to you and all you can do is grunt like a gorilla?" Like I said, small, I didn't even catch it until I re-read this.

This was a really deep story that I'm glad I read.
--Georgina

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Review #4, by Gabriella Hunter Eye of the Beholder

1st December 2015:
HELLO! >:)

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review and thanks so much for requesting this for me!

I saw that you were worried about if this had come across as too harsh but I honestly think that you have done a brilliant job. I've entered this challenge as well but was having some trouble with what I wanted to portray when it comes to weight and I'm proud of you for showing this side of it.

It was hard to read at some points because this touched on a part of me that I was struggling with but that alone is a reason why I think I love this so much. Dealing with depression is always hard but being the subject of bullying because of your weight and even being suicidal are all very real issues.

Touching on this doesn't mean that you're necessarily being too harsh but I think that it's something that needs to be discussed. Millicent as your main character comes across as so tormented and so lonely that I just wanted to reach out and make all of her pain go away. Her inner thoughts and the voice in her head were powerful and you showed all of the different levels self-hate can take.

Doubting herself and being overly conscious of everything just says so much about what she's been through. This was a very real situation that a lot of girls go through and while I wish that there had been a happier ending, I'm glad that you ended it where you did.

Kevin sounds like a wonderful guy but Millicent needs to figure out her beauty first before I think she can accept him. I would love it if you continued this but until then, thank you so much for the wonderful read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie,

Thanks so much for taking a look at this for me. I really wanted to delve into the darkest parts of self-loathing with this fic, based on my own experiences and the experiences of others. I was worried that - knowing how horribly critical I can be of others and of myself - it would come across incorrectly. I didn't want it to seem like a personal judgement of people who struggle with their weight.

I'm really pleased you enjoyed the fic. I'm not sure I could justice to the finer points of depression and self-loathing in an extension beyond this one-shot, so I probably won't be continuing on with it from here, but I'm happy you liked the story!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing for me. *hug*

xx-Ellie


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Review #5, by marauderfan Eye of the Beholder

28th November 2015:
Hi Ellie! I'm here with your requested review - and so glad to be back and reading more of your wonderful work again! :)

You probably know I love stories that delve into unconventional or uncomfortable topics and the topic you discuss here is such an important one. Especially this day and age where the media is always harping on about the way people look (especially women) and I think a lot of teenage girls struggle with issues of body image, so it's quite a relevant topic.

I think you did well with the Voice, too. It was harsh, but that Nasty Internal Voice often can be. In my opinion it did feel a tiny bit overbearing - in my experience, when I find some fault with myself it's the cliche devil on one shoulder and angel on the other - there are two voices, even if one is louder than the other. So in this case, I think what might make Millicent feel a bit more realistic would be her voice of reason, the Angel Voice, popping in every once in a while, like "but no, looks don't matter!" or something, only to be shut out by the Devil Voice (which is the one you've written throughout, and very well.) I think some kind of internal conflict between her two inner voices would make her a bit more three-dimensional.

Her despair is so tangible here and I feel so badly for her that she can't get out of this dark place, and how there are so many factors that have put her there, including her classmates' teasing, and her own over-analysis of everything in her mind, leading her to believe that she's worthless. :( I just want to give her a hug.

Personally, I was kind of put off by Kevin's greeting to her, I feel like if someone told me "you're beautiful when you cry" I would have been creeped out and probably have said some non-12+ things and stormed off, haha. Anyway, maybe he's just really socially awkward around girls. I did feel really sad at the end though, when Millicent refused to believe that she was worth anything and ran off. But in a way, it's quite believable. One person saying a kind thing isn't going to change your beliefs about yourself, and you captured that well.

This was really well done, Ellie. I did notice a couple of typos where you wrote "I" instead of "is" or "in" - just a missed letter, but otherwise grammar was golden :) The story is cohesive, and flows smoothly! Excellent work! :)

Author's Response: Hey love,

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review! I know what you mean about Kevin, his announcement was a little abrupt. I kind of wanted to convey though that while we never realise it, there are often others out there in the world, silently admiring us for one thing or another.

I wanted him to seem overlooked by Millie as a result of her being so wrapped up in her own self-loathing. I might do an edit and see if I can make his interest in her a little less out of the blue and off-putting.

Thanks for pointing out those typos too. I'll do a quick edit and see if I can catch them all. Thank you so much for expending your valuable time one leaving me a review, my dear.

You totally made my day with this one!

xx-Ellie


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Review #6, by Slytherin Eagle Eye of the Beholder

26th November 2015:
Hey Ellie, I thought I should start leaving some reviews for people and this story was on top of the list!

This was really emotional. There's so much in this story and I think that you did a good job of interpreting that 'mean little voice'.

I only noticed one error: when Milly was considering ending everything you have written a crate instead of crater.

It was nice to see a story from Millicent's perspective, I honestly have never read one before.

Lea

Author's Response: Hey Lea,

Yeah, I hadn't read one from Milly either, so I thought I'd give it a go. Thanks so much for checking it out and reviewing for me. I'll pop in and fix that typo now. I'm pleased you thought I did well with the mean little voice. I was worried that it might be a bit much. I channeled the mean voice in my head, so I was worried it might come off a bit too strong.

xx-Ellie


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