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Reading Reviews for Broomstick Races
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Unwritten Curse Bittersweet

28th January 2016:
TEAM GOLD

This is a beautiful moment. You write second person so well, Kaitlin. I've always found second person to be especially moving and you choose it at the all the right moments. This was an emotional piece and second person drew those emotions out even more so.

I've always liked Angelina. I think you characterize her well, here. I like her insistence on talking about flying, because it suits her character, what with her being on the team (and being Captain) but it also shows her kinder side. She's trying to distract Ginny from her grief.

And the kiss. Oh the kiss! So sweet. It felt 100% believable to me. I like the repeated fire imagery here. The way you begin with the image of Ginny's hair being fiery red and then end with fire spreading through her (Angelina's) body as they kiss. It made everything come full circle which was very satisfying.

I'm not sure if this would ultimately fit into canon or not. I kind of like to think that it does. That Ginny and Angelina have this stolen moment before they both go on to marry others and lead separate lives. It makes it more romantic.

Well done!

--Gina

Author's Response: Hey Gina!

I truly love playing with 2nd person POV. I have no idea if I use it in the traditional sense, but I try my best to do it when I feel a real relation to the emotions the character is feeling. I figure if I can relate to it, then maybe the reader can too.

Angelina always struck me as someone who was tough, loyal, and kind. I imagine that seeing Ginny wrecked after Fred's death would inspire her to make her feel better.

That's so great to hear! I wanted it to be simple and sweet. Not necessarily a promise of anything to come, but definitely a much needed moment of reprieve from everything they've been dealing with.

That's pretty much exactly how I imagine it as well. This is just a stolen moment in between cannon events.

Thanks for the lovely review and for all of your kind encouragement towards my writing!

~Kaitlin


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Review #2, by NPE Bittersweet

26th January 2016:
Hi Kaitlin,

Glad you proposed the multi-chapter swap idea. I started here.

So, I really like the inflection of semi-second person, that’s bold. As per usual your writing has this wicked flow to it and structure that makes you seem like a seasoned pro, in all honesty.

Also, despite the somewhat frivolous potential of first kiss style stories, you do add some really authentic (I use that word way too much) lines into it that transcend beyond th story and ring true.

Case in point being at the difficulty of expression in times of grief like “ It’s inadequate, but it’s all I can do for now” or the idea of “laughing uncontrollably” through a period of great sadness.

The kiss had the perfect blend of tenderness and corn though I could have done without the swollen lip imagery – not because it is bad – just too visceral before I am about to eat food (so my bad really haha).

The whole “This seat taken?” thing is a bit of trope for cutting the ice you see it in a fair number of films. Though you execute it, as always, really well.

I enjoyed these asides “I shake my head. “Job market wasn’t all that great with Voldemort running the country.”

And note the change of war “You chuckle and for just a moment, I see the girl who I used to know in school”

As for CC – this below reads in clichés too much for me, the idea of fire and red hair, and smoke and ash compared to burning is an overused piece of imagery that adds unnecessary melodrama in my view.

“Although your hair is the same bright red that it’s always been, the fire that used to burn inside of you has noticeably diminished. All that’s left is smoke and ash.”

This bit below reads like you’re addressing the reader rather than the story, does she need to spell it out?

“I’d forgotten that you were at the school suffering under the horrific treatment of the Death Eaters.”

Also – if you’re going to describe drunken flying, why not compare the changes of senses? Or like most drunk people I get sentimental and occasionally emotional with alcohol and when I see Hogwarts in their situation I imagine they would think of various memories or their own specific bits of Hogwarts they identify with. I found the recitation of damage from the battle a little conventional.

“Turrets have holes blown in them, walls are crumbling, and many of the windows are shattered. It’s depressing to say the least, but we’re drunk, so we are able to avoid the magnitude of it. We slip through the front door, which is barely hanging on its hinges.”

A door hanging on its hinges is like a man hanging off a cliff in an action film. It’s too obvious in my view.

But I really liked this, it was something I’d never normally read and yet I bought completely into it. I think your writing remains of a very high standard for sure.

Looking forward to more reviewing, and reviews I am sure.

Nick

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Review #3, by ScorpiusRose17 Bittersweet

12th January 2016:
Hi Kaitlin!

I am finally getting around to the reviews that I owe you and thought since I know you're having a busy time in Real Life that I would get these done! :)

Every time I read a story of yours, I am always left in awe of what I've just read. It's completely brilliant! The words always flow so smoothly, the descriptions aren't heavy but easily paint a wonderful picture in my mind as I read, and your characters even in one-shots are well developed.

This was such a sweet One-shot with Angelina and Ginny and I like how they bond over something so simple as flying. I thought the kiss they shared was sweet. You did a great job of portraying their friendship turned romance. I would have never guessed that this was your first time writing Femslash!!

Thank you for such a sweet story!!

Jenn

Author's Response: Hey Jenn!

That's so nice of you! I'm so glad that you enjoy my writing. I'm always worried when I post something new that my idea might be too odd or too out there, so it's a relief that you don't see it that way.

Truthfully, I don't know if I can imagine Ginny and Angelina being a longterm thing. I really like Ginny/Harry and George/Angelina as pairings, so I think I see this sort of as a fleeting romance between the two.

Thanks for the lovely review!

~Kaitlin


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Review #4, by merlins beard Bittersweet

7th January 2016:
Hey kaitlin,
I'm here for the swap I asked for as Tammi's secret santa (secret snowflake)

Thanks for swapping, I'm glad Tammi got some lovely reviews out of this.

I have to say that this is one of your best stories. I never pictured that pairing before, but I like it. I think you chose a really good time to set this in. It's just after the battle, Fred is dead, the castle is destroyed and the wizarding world is in turmoil, trying to get everything organized again, attending funerals and holding trials for those who commited war crimes.
What better time is there to find someone who could love you and support you? I love that you let them go flying. That's the one thing we all know they have in common and it seems so perfect for them to do that. I have to agree with Angelina, Ginny must be stunning, flying through the air and enjoying herself.

Thanks again for the swap

&hearta; Anja

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Review #5, by Annabella Jane Bittersweet

27th December 2015:
I loved this!! it was very well written and beautiful in fact I want more of it i would love to see how this develops!

Author's Response: Hi Annabella,

Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. At this point I don't have plans to expand this story, but maybe somewhere down the road I will.

~Kaitlin


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Review #6, by Infinityx Bittersweet

12th December 2015:
Hi, me again!

This was just beautiful. So much angst and emotion and so wonderfully written. I loved every bit of it. I really like how you've used a mix of first and second person, all the while leaving the identity of the Weasley unknown. That was a brilliant idea and you've pulled it off perfectly.

Your descriptions are so brilliant. I could feel the anguish being conveyed through the words and it was so heartbreaking. I love how you began with the funeral and the conversation at the Three Broomsticks. That first bit where Angelina conveys her condolences gave the whole thing a great touch. It's such a common thing for everyone to tell the family of the deceased such a thing and after a while it must get a lot more painful and monotonous. And the way the conversation was diverted was done so smoothly, I love it!

First I thought it was George. I guess I didn't pay attention to the summary where you've mentioned it's for the femslash challenge, but anyway, I got confused when they started talking about the Carrows since George wouldn't have been at Hogwarts then. And then when I finally got to know it was Ginny, everything fit together so well and all the little details made so much sense.

I absolutely love that final moment between them as well, and now I'd really like to read more Ginny/Angelina. This was just beautiful, I'm so glad I swapped with you and got back to reading your stuff!

Author's Response: Hey Erin!

I'm so glad that you got a chance to read this. It was my very first time writing Femslash, so I love getting a bit of feedback on it.

Description is always my favorite part, so I'm thrilled that you pointed it out. That same stale line at funerals is one that really bugs me and so I figured Ginny might be tired of hearing it by this point.

I always like to play with characters being a bit ambiguous. It's fun hearing who people think each character is. I'm glad the details started to fall into place once you realized it was Ginny though. :D

Thank you so much for such a lovely review and for the swap! It's always a joy!

~Kaitlin


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Review #7, by DobbyLover Bittersweet

6th December 2015:
Lovely. Well written. I enjoyed the original confusion as to who [Angelina] was.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! I love playing a bit with ambiguous characters and seeing what people think of it. I'm glad you enjoyed!

~Kaitlin


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Review #8, by BellaLestrange87 Bittersweet

1st December 2015:
Hi Kaitlin! I'm here for our review swap!

I really enjoyed this. Their relationship was really well developed, and very natural.

I feel really sad for Ginny, about Fred's death (which she's obviously having a hard time getting over), and about the fact that she's relying on alcohol to get through her grief.

Their conversation in the pub was very well done. It seemed just right for two people who had known each other during school, but hadn't been *extremely extremely* close, but friendly acquaintances. *rambles on forever*

Angelina's crush on and attraction to Ginny was excellently written. I love how you built it up and showed how Ginny's company gave Angelina the courage to steal brooms from Madam Hooch's office.

Their kiss was perfect. Absolutely perfect. And that last line - such a good way to end the story with!

I loved this one-shot and I'll definitely be back to read some more of your lovely work soon!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi Olivia!

I'm glad the relationship felt natural and well developed.

Ginny is definitely sad, but who wouldn't be in her shoes. I don't feel worried that she has an alcohol problem though. I think this is more a one time thing to blow off a bit of steam in regards to the drinking.

Yahoo! I always struggle with dialogue, so I'm glad you thought this worked.

I may or may not have done a few crazy things for my own crushes in my school days, so I sort of drew inspiration from that for the whole broom stealing.

Honestly, I knew the ending before I knew what I wanted to write in the beginning, so I'm happy to hear you liked it.

Thanks for this review! It was a pleasure to swap with you!

~Kaitlin


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Review #9, by Gabriella Hunter Bittersweet

1st December 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review and thanks so much for the one you left for A Force of Wills! :)

I thought that I would have a hard time deciding what to read because you always have such great, unique stories on your page. I saw this at the very top and thought I'd give it a try, I had heard a lot about this challenge and wasn't able to participate but I'm happy to have read this!

I don't think that I've ever seen this pairing anywhere on the archives, first of all. I think it's really out of the blue but what's so wonderful about it is that it's very unique. I don't know when this would ever happen or why no one has ever thought of it before but this was wonderful! Now, I'm pretty sure that everyone knows that I'm a huge George/Angelina shipper but I honestly would love to know more about Ginny/Angelina.

Certainly didn't expect to love this as much as I did because I never thought the two of them could blend so well. What I really enjoyed though was the fact that you portrayed grief very well, there are so many different sides to it but I liked how honest Ginny was. She didn't want to talk about the loss of her brother, even if people meant well so I know that racing with Angelina must have been just the thing she needed. It proved to show that you can find joy in the most unlikely people and I think the ending of this, the description of the kiss...just very lovely, lovely writing. :)

I'm so happy that I stopped by!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #10, by princesslily_36 Bittersweet

23rd November 2015:
Hey Kaitlin,

princesslily32 from the forums here.

It is my first time reading femmslash *excited*, and I was wondering how you would take Ginny and Angelina, as they seemed an odd couple.

Your fic is an example of what just amazes me about how versatile the writers are in HPFF. You have pulled off second person writing so effortlessly. Bringing in the quidditch reference was a stroke of genius. I wouldn't have thought of that. I also love how you have kept both of them in character by not having them be weepy over Fred's death.

I liked how you described their deeper emotions that we usually don't see in the books. Your descriptions of each other really captured both their mood, and the mood of the situation they were in.

Thank you for a great read and Thank you so much for entering the First Kiss Challenge :)

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Review #11, by Dojh167 Bittersweet

22nd November 2015:
FSF Award Review #4

Yay, femslash! Better yet, queer Quidditch players. You've got me.

While I don't seen Ginny/Angelina working as a long term relationship, I can definitely believe that there would be a strong attraction between them, and you've written that very well here.

I love how you say that Ginny's fire has become smoke and ash! Perfect, beautiful words. The way you describe Ginny's eyes as dull is very poignant, as it contrasts their usual state, and yet is an easily imaginable visual.

Angelina's attention on Ginny in the funeral seems innocent enough, and could be passed off as decent compassion. However, there must be so many grieving people at that funeral, and the way that Angelina focuses in on Ginny suggests a deeper fascination.

I wonder if everyone dispersed after the funeral, or if most of the Weasleys stuck together. Is Ginny specifically avoiding facing that continued grief?

You're missing an apostrophe in war's in " Now that the wars over"

I'm a little confused by "but with all of the years off of a broom" I'm not sure if it's a grammar issue or just timeline clarity. Ginny would only have been off a broom for a year at this point, correct?

Oops, and missing end-quotes: “Flying.

I love how out of her way Angelina is ready to go in order to try to brighten things up for Ginny.

Returning to the castle in the weight of their grief is very powerful and real.

I guess I never thought before about where Madam Hooch's office would be, but it seems odd that there wouldn't be brooms closer to the Quidditch pitch.

Your description of Angelina watching Ginny fly is breathtaking, and a really effective way to show her feelings. I also love that you make it clear that Angelina knows Ginny is a fast flyer than her, considering her own not inconsiderable skill. I can definitely see how that degree of competition and respect factors into her feelings.

I generally think of Angelina as extremely driven and confident, and you've added a layer of insecurity here, with Ginny having to assure her that she's a good flyer and her feelings of awkwardness towards the end.

Ack, and the ending! I like.

Write femslash always, mkay? =D

Sam.

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