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Reading Reviews for Splendor and Gloom
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by navyfail Prologue

29th December 2015:
Hello! Here for the QTR Holiday Fest!

In your author's note you mentioned that this is your first big novel which is always exciting! I think you have a great start here... we don't know much about what's going on but we have been introduced to two characters (the witch and Johnathan) and some of what happened between them in the past.

I have to say your writing is a-mazing! You definitely have a way with words and you are great at weaving them into imagery! The way everything is described is even a bit poetic.

By the way is her name Melora? I'm guessing it is. She seems to be slightly haunted by her past... the fact she finally got herself to burn the photo tells us that she's definitely trying to move on from it. The burning of the photo actually makes me sad... because you can't get the photo back and it feels like she's burning that part of her that has him in it.

I have to say I love the last line and how you end the chapter... it's a great one-liner and builds some mystery!

Fantastic start to your story! I'm really curious in where you are taking this! Best of luck in the future and haopy early New Years!


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Review #2, by Beeezie Prologue

26th December 2015:
Hey, I'm here for our Ravenclaw holiday fun event! ♥

I'm adding this to my reading list. I loved this prologue. Your prose was haunting and really made my skin crawl, particularly when she was first waking up; at first, I thought she was having a simple nightmare, but as it became clear that this was a more complex and deep-seeded problem than one bad night, I really found myself getting drawn into the story and wondering what had happened to her.

Prologues can be very tricky, because you have to balance keeping your readers intrigued with giving them enough context that they're drawn into the story. That was masterfully done here; I totally understand the mix of horrifying and exciting, but based on what I've read here, I think you should be leaning toward excitement; this is an amazing start!

Happy holidays!

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Review #3, by Dirigible_Plums Prologue

14th December 2015:

So I stopped by to be a little festive and spread some holiday cheer by leaving you a review for the QTR holiday fun. I didn't quite expect to be blown away by this, however. I am genuinely in awe of how this was composed. Your style of writing is amazing! I love the description, even if it is a little heavy (which is totally fine since it's a prologue, anyways.) Great job on starting off the fic and getting me intrigued! Agh, I'm so excited!!

I'm not quite sure why, but this is my favourite line, I think: 'The witch wakes at the dead hour, struggling to breathe.' I think it's the fact that I instantly loved how poetic it is that it's the witching/dead hour and…well, it's a witch waking up/in fear. I don't know. I just really like it. It's an excellent opening line. :)

Plums xo

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Review #4, by cherry_pop94 Prologue

12th December 2015:
Hello Mo!

I thought I'd leave you a little something for the Ravenclaw gift thread!

This is a very intriguing beginning! I like how you've left if purposefully vague over what's going on here. This witch as nightmares, something quite terrible has happened to her, she's had her heart broken, but it feels like far more here.

The phrase 'topography of torture' sent shivers down my spine! It's such a telling way to describe her bed and it really makes me wonder... what happened to her??

For such a short prologue, you've managed to pack in a lot of information, but also very little information. I feel like that definitely made no sense, but that's how I want to describe this. It's very well done and I cannot wait to read more about this!

Brilliant job and happy holidays!


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Review #5, by ravenclaw_princess Prologue

12th December 2015:
Merry Christmas. Here is a gift for the Ravenclaw Gift Exchange.

Wow. This is super dark. I have chills going down my spine. This poor witch is not in a good way at all. I wonder what Jonathon Rothe has done to her to make her so terrified.

I love the portrayal at the beginning about waking from the dream. The feeling of panic and hysteria she feels, and how this manifests itself on the body, was chilling and beautifully described. She slowly starts to get a handle of herself again, but you can still sense that fear within her.

Jonathon has a hold of her and it will be interesting to see what it is. For as much as she fears him, there is also a part of her that hasn't let go of him, hence why she still had the photograph. I would like to think that by finally burning it, his grip on her will loosen, but I doubt it will.

I really like this little description "The bed is dented, a topography of torture". Its such a simple turn of phrase but it is so nicely describes how the bed looks and how it got to be like that in a really creative way.

I noticed this small error "She finds her it, finally, with her foot." (remove her)

I assume it was deliberate not to have punctuation in the dream dialogue. However, I did find it hard to read without the punctuation and I was mentally adding it to make sense of the paragraph. This disrupted the flow a little bit as I had to read it a few times to make sure my punctuation interpretation was correct. So you may want to look at adding the punctuation; it will read a lot smoother.

The summary seems quite light-hearted compared to the first chapter and I feel this is going to be one dark tale. This is a really good beginning which has created mystery and shown a very fragile protagonist and it will be interesting to see how it all unravels and what this Jonathon guy has done.

You write beautifully and your work is full of descriptions that really show the reader what's happening rather than tells them.

Well done on a strong start. I wish you all the best in putting what's in your head onto paper.


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