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Reading Reviews for The Two of Us
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CassiePotter Tension

12th May 2016:
Hi Gabbie! I'm here for our review swap!
This was an awesome opening chapter to this story. You write some really wonderful George/Angelina, and I think that with every story you write about them, you make their relationship even deeper and more complex. I love that you've taken so much care to add all these layers to their friendship, and how they develop feelings for one another and eventually get together.
Another thing that I think is really fantastic about this is the way you wrote Fred and George. I know I've said this before, but you really make sure that you don't take their personalities for granted, which is wonderful. Yes, they're twins, and yes, they're incredibly close, but that doesn't mean they aren't individuals. You've given them each a unique personality, which I really love. Also, you've shown that they're human and that they don't get along all the time. So many people think of them as a package deal, and can't ever imagine them fighting. I thought that this really shed some light on the fact that they'd have disagreements just like anyone else, even if they are so close. I think the fact that they have so much in common could actually cause some fights, like you wrote here.
I really loved George and Angie's interaction in this. She's so sweet to him, and they obviously care about each other, even if George doesn't want to admit his feelings, and might occasionally push her away because of them.
Lee was great, too. I'd love to see more of him as this goes on. And Alicia and Katie! They're such protective friends, it's awesome.
This was really wonderful, and you left it in such a tense spot! I need more!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with this wonderful review and agreeing to swap! :D

I really love exploring all of the different moments that George/Angelina go through. They don't become a couple for so long and it's interesting to see new things about their relationship. I think that it's so easy to get lost in the idea of them being in love rather than simply writing it.

Fred and George are really hard to write and I'm never sure if I'm doing them justice or not. I don't think I've seen many or any stories of the twins fighting so I wanted to play around with that here.

I'm pretty sure that they didn't get along all the time. I just keep in mind that they're not the same people and each have different ways of viewing the world.

Fred is a lot more carefree than I think George is. George is obviously a bit more stubborn and childish, which is something that he doesn't quite shake.

I'm happy that you liked the bit with George and Angelina! I was worried about that section in particular. Hahah. She's really, really sweet towards him and it's obvious that he's spoiled. George sometimes loves her so much that he can't face it, which is why he pushes her away.

Lee will show up in this story quite a bit because Fred and George will go through a brief moment of not talking to one another. Alicia and Katie will be around too, they're the grouchy guardian angels that everyone needs. Hahaha.

I'll try to get that second chapter up!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #2, by TheEmotionalTeaspoon Tension

11th May 2016:
Hello again! :)

What a cliffhanger! I'm really interested to see what happens next, and I definitely think you should keep going with this, even if only for a few chapters! (depends how many ideas you have for the plot really!)

First of all, I like that you've shown us a point in Fred and George's life where they argued, and I like that Fred isn't afraid to tell George what he thinks, or even to chide him for being immature and stubborn. I think, for a pair that are so close, that's quite realistic, especially because deep down it does seem to me like Fred has George's best interests at heart. And, like I said, it's refreshing to see a tough time in Fred and George's relationship, rather than that sort of nostalgic idealism we often fall into when thinking about the pair of them.

I really liked the way you wrote George and Angie's relationship, the sort of undercurrent of will they/won't they, shy attraction was really sweet to read, and I'm certainly rooting for them! I wonder how Fred really feels about all this, and I hope we don't end up demonizing him for getting in the way! (although I'm sure we won't)

"The silence that fell over them could have shamed a cemetery" Loved this line! if you're bothered about britpicking, I'll point out that in England we'd use the word 'graveyard', but it works regardless.

I also liked the way you wrote Lee, I think it helped to give the chapter a nice flow and also move the plot along smoothly. I also really liked the fact that we got lots of conversation in this chapter, because I think that's something that really helps to show the reader, rather than tell them, how different characters feel and what their relationships and personalities are like, which is especially useful in a first chapter.

Definitely consider writing more, and let me know when you do!

-Kate xx

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Review #3, by dreamgazer220 Tension

11th March 2016:
Hey Gabbie! Here for our review swap :)

So (as you probably guessed, haha!) I love the Weasley twins, so when I saw this I knew I had to check it out.

I loved that you started off with the twins fighting. We never really saw that in the books, but you wrote it so realistically. Fred never taking things seriously, George being upset about Angelina - it was all so well done and so relatable. I especially loved that George called Fred out on never being serious about a girl, and it was clear from the beginning that he had some very serious feelings for her.

I also loved the Angelina/George scene that you gave us. It was a great insight to their relationship, and just from that scene you could see that they really cared deeply about each other, but were also to almost move along and joke around about things. The tension was still there, though, which was nice.

And Lee with his comic relief. ♥ You did a great job of keeping him canon as well, and it was nice to see that even though he'd been hanging out with Fred earlier, he wasn't picking sides and not afraid to call George out. I liked that about Fred too.

And your language again was really, really nice in some pieces of the story - especially small lines like Lee concocting a story about him pitching himself into the Black Lake =D

Overall, I really enjoyed this, and you definitely kept me hooked. And that ending! Now she seems mad. I can't wait to see where you take this :)

Thanks for another great swap!
~Jill

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by and welcome back! I enjoyed our swap so we must do it again sometime!

I love the Weasley twins too and even though they're super hard to write, I had so much fun with this. We never see them fighting and you can understand why they're upset with one another here. Fred is so careless and George is the sort of person who gets really emotional very quickly. They're bound to clash.

George loves Angelina, to the point where you would think that they're already married but it's very frustrating for everyone else. He won't confess and Angelina is too shy.

I had to include a scene that showed how much the two of them cared about one another. George is wrapped around Angelina's finger and she can't tell him no. Hahaha. They're close friends so I wanted to emphasize that, even with all the tension there.

Lee is always great to write. He's kind of like another brother to the twins and I think most people assume they're triplets. Hahaha. He is blunt though, when it comes to George too. He doesn't pick sides but he's not afraid of telling the truth.

Thanks so much!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #4, by TearsIMustConceal Tension

8th December 2015:
Hi Gabbie! Here with your requested review! I am so excited to read more of your work and I agree with you, we should definitely swap some more!

First of all, I loved this story! I've never actually read a story about George, Fred and Angelina, it's not my usual pick but I really did enjoy this! It's beautifully written, as all of your stories are and there are so many feels here!

I think you've portrayed the twins perfectly and they're easily distinguishable in their thoughts and feelings and movements. The fighting really helps us understood each of their personalities and it also lets us see that they don't always see eye to eye on things, or agree with each other and that they fight, like all siblings – but this fight seems different and it's such a clash of personalities, because they're so close, the fight seems so much more harsh and real, you could definitely imagine this fight happening. I loved that they punched each other at the same time – it just shows that even when they're fighting, they're in sync with each other, it really shows their bond! I've never read anything about them fighting before but you've written this scene perfectly!

And the fight is reasonable and has meaning – it's not just the two of them deciding to have a go at each other. George has every right to be upset with Fred, I think I would be but I feel as though Fred only asked her so George would finally do something about the way he feels about Angelina.

You've really captured their personalities so well done!

As for Angelina, I think she's possibly a little quiet – from things I have read, I've always seen her as a fiery person but I can understand her quietness because of the situation – her and George haven't been talking and she's taking the high road and being the first one to talk to him so she wouldn't necessarily believe that shouting at him would work. But I do love that her hot headedness comes out at the end of the story – I found myself waiting for it!

I loved Angelina and George's interaction – you can see that they genuinely feel for each other and all the way through, I was just rooting for George to just take the plunge and kiss her! So from that point of view, I can see the frustration Fred and the others must feel watching them together, going round in circles – no wonder Fred did something about it!

Overall, I really enjoyed this and as always, your writing is just amazing!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for this really great review and I'm so happy that you enjoyed this! It's pretty new and so not too many people really read it so this made me happy. :D

I have an obsession with Fred/George/Angelina and I think creating stories around them is great. Fred and George are so different in my head that when I write them, it's a lovely challenge but something I can't resist.

I wanted them to fight but at the same time, I wanted you guys to see that they're not that much alike when it comes down to certain things. Fred is a lot more careless than George when it comes to his emotions (He has more of a temper) and George is way more childish.

They tend to clash a lot but it's not something we really see much of in a lot of stories and certainly not anything we see in the HP books.

The fight of course has a reason for starting and George has every right to be mad at his brother for asking Angelina to that dance. Haha. BUT, Fred did have a reason for asking her and I go into more detail about it later on.

I don't think I can write Angelina as more aggressive because I've written her as very shy and kind of introverted sometimes. She's only really "fiery" on the Quidditch pitch and because I didn't want to get into racial stereotypes about "sassy" Black women, I never wanted to include her being loud or anything like that.

I wanted to show that Angelina and George are pretty affectionate towards one another. It's subtle sometimes but during their scene together, you can tell that they love one another.

BUT, George is in some deep trouble by the end of this chapter so that might not last much longer! Hahahahaha.

Thanks a ton!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #5, by cherry_pop94 Tension

24th November 2015:
Hello Gabbie!

I'm here for our swap. Sorry it took so long for me to get to this, I had a ton of school work to do. I love reading about George and Angelina and their relationship was so sweet in instantly, I knew I had to read this. I've been really into Hogwarts era stories lately, probably because I'v left my teenage years behind, so it's fun to have this reminder of what they're like.

It hurt my soul to read Fred and George fighting, though I'm sure it hurt you more to write. I think it was very realistic though. Even angry at each other, you get the sense that they are just so in tune with each other's feelings. It's really sweet, despite the fact that they're fighting. Of course, it's also realistic to have them fight. I've never read about Fred and George angry at each other, but obviously they got into plenty of fights with each other.

I can't wait to know more about Fred, George, and Angelina. You've ended this one on such a cliffhanger!

Thanks for sharing this story Gabbie!

Stefanie

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks a bunch for this great review and junk, no worries on being late or anything! I'm honestly just now getting to my unanswered reviews today so I know how you feel. :D I like Hogwarts era stories but I usually read and write a lot of Post-Hogwarts because they tend to feature more angst. Hahaha.

It was pretty difficult to write Fred and George fighting so I was worried about how it would turn out. I thought that you guys would be really against the idea but I'm happy that it turned out okay. I wanted to explore their differences and show a deeper side to them that I usually wouldn't have had the time for.

The next chapter shall be up eventually!

Thanks!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #6, by adluvshp Tension

23rd November 2015:
Hey Gabbie! Here for your requested review from the forums.

First off, I've to say, I'm very very impressed with your grasp on the twins' personalities. You've written both Fred and George very well. You've kept their core traits, you've maintained how they appear in canon, and at the same time, you've given fresh insights into their relationship, into their personality dynamics, and highlighting how similar and different they are. That's a remarkable feat so hats off!

I love your writing style too. Your use of vocabulary is good and the narrative flows beautifully. You can keep the reader engaged from beginning to end, and the scenes are such that can be easily visualised in the mind's eye.

The plot concept itself is very good. George and Fred both liking Angelina is a concept I've across a few times but the way you have woven it is amazing. The way you wielded the canon moment into something more was perfect. Oh and you did a good job of portraying Lee too!

For CC, all I've to say is, perhaps polish your dialogue a little bit more? It reads off as stunted in a few places, if you know what I want. And the blend between dialogue and descriptions could be smoother.

But apart from that, I think it's a great start to the story and I'm curious to see how things go further and get resolved. Lovely read and feel free to re-request!

Cheers,
Lost Muse
(previously AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks so much for stopping by and junk! I have only a bit of experience writing the twins and I was worried about how they would turn out for this chapter. I think that their relationship has all sorts of things that you can do to show just how different they are. They've got a lot of similarities but there are moments when you can really see that they aren't the same, which was really hard to write.

I'm happy that the flow was good too, I thought that it was too choppy in some places. ;__;

I wanted to explore the canon moment more because there are so many things that you can do it with and also, we don't really know what happened either. I don't use the Fred/Angelina angle in this though but it does make you wonder about what sort of drama they'll go through before the ball arrives.

Lee Jordan is awesome and so easy to write for some reason! :D

I'm horrible at dialogue so thanks for telling me!

I shall re-request whenever I get the next chapter up!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #7, by marauderfan Tension

22nd November 2015:
Hi, I'm here with your requested review!

You have a really wonderful grasp on the twins' personalities, even when they're doing something we never see them do in canon - fighting. But I think it is very natural; all siblings fight, and this scene really highlights the differences between the twins and that they don't see 100% eye to eye all the time. As well it highlights the similarities - the fact that they both snapped and punched each other at the same time says something :p I must admit I was really surprised when it reached the point of physical violence, but you made it work - they both seemed surprised as well.

I also must say I loved that line Fred said about "genetics" being the reason he's such a jerk haha... he's not denying it, but also getting in a dig at George as well because they're IDENTICAL TWINS. Lol, I see what you did there, Fred. XD

You've also done really well in making both of them understandable - George is upset because Fred knew about George's feelings for Angelina and asked her anyway, and it's hinted that Fred is maybe doing this to make George finally do something about it himself - at least that's the idea I got. Regardless of how inconsiderate he was to ask Angelina, he does have some good points.

So yeah, I think you did really well with George's characterisation, and you made the fight seem realistic.

CC:

Fred warned with a trace of anger, “I thought that I'd at least come out and save your sorry (non 12+)" -- this doesn't really sound like a 'warning', maybe use a different verb there.

Sometimes I couldn't tell who was speaking, and I think that's usually due to alternating lots of dialogue with lots of narration in the same paragraph. For example here Fred merely shrugged but his eyes were flinty with determination, “I've been friends with her for five years, it's not about me just keeping my feelings a secret.” -- that's (I'm pretty sure) actually George speaking, even though from the narration at the beginning of the sentence it seems like Fred. My suggestion would be that if you have dialogue in a paragraph, try to keep it all together as much as possible, rather than sticking a piece of it into each sentence - and it should always be attached to its speaker (if that makes sense.) I think that'll make it read much easier. :)

And in general, another thing to watch out for that I saw a lot of is run on sentences, such as the one here: Wands were quickly drawn but even through the thick layer of fury that was smothering the two of them, he didn't want to fight, “why do you always treat everything like a game?” he demanded, more puzzled than angry.

Anyway, I think this is really good and oh my, that cliffhanger!!! I couldn't believe you were gonna end it there, until I saw this is a short story so I'm more okay with that :P What is she going to say?! Did she figure it out? Did she figure out the real reason for Fred and George's fight? Ha I bet she wouldn't be happy about that.

great work, Gabbie! :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with this great review, it was so lovely and really helped me out! I always wanted to keep in mind while writing the twins that they are brothers. They're siblings just like anyone else's and I'm sure that they fight but we never see that side of them because they're always portrayed as being so playful and happy. I didn't think the actual fighting would go over well but I was happy how it turned out, their reactions summed up what I was trying to go for.

Fred's line about genetics is really funny, it was a cheeky crack at them being twins AND just a sign that he's kind of a prat. I haven't really said what his motivations for asking Angelina out to the ball was but it does have something to do with George stepping up and taking control of his emotions. He had some good points of course but so did George, it's too bad that they couldn't resolve it without going into a full blown argument. I'm happy that George came across as realistic though, he's a hard character to write because he's extremely emotional to the point of moody.

Ah, the CC's in this are something that I intend to correct in the future. I want to clean it up before posting the second chapter because I need to really start editing more often.

Cliffhanger indeed! I kind of have an idea of what happens in the next chapter and it focuses more on George/Angelina than anything so hopefully it turns out okay!

Thanks again!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #8, by Aphoride Tension

20th November 2015:
Hey there, Gabbie - dropping by for our review swap! :)

So, I'm a huge sucker for George/Angelina - I dunno, I just love them for some unexplained reason, haha - and I'm always amazed by anyone who can write the Weasleys twins, so I was so glad you asked me to stop by on this one :)

Seriously, I'm so impressed with how well you write the twins. They're such intimidating characters, to me, haha, because they're so funny and so fully-formed in the books that I just don't think I could do them justice, you know, but you do them so well here. I love how you get the whole twin relationship thing into it, too, how they look so similar but have different personalities and temperaments and things - as an older sister to twins (non-identical, though) I'm always hyperaware of those kinds of things! :P

Your writing is so lovely, too - it's so evocative, you know, with so many strong words and ways of portraying things, especially emotions - which works so well in something like this when you're describing arguments and feelings and inner conflict and things. I love your dialogue especially, it's so clean and so good and so reminiscent of the characters in canon, too, which I love so much.

The only thing I'd say is that you tend to start dialogue in the middle of paragraphs a lot. Dialogue should always start on a new line, unless Person A is still speaking. Even then, sometimes that should be broken. I'm sorry, I'm not the best at explaining this things, but maybe ask someone to show you? (Or hopefully my attempt at an explanation makes sense :P)

Anyway, this is a really great start - I love how it starts in the canon moment, and after the whole Fred-asking-Angelina to the ball thing. It's a moment which we really don't see anything of in canon, and I love that you're using that to expand into this, and I'm so curious to see what happens next - what exactly Fred's told Angelina, and how this all resolves itself :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you a thousand times for this awesome review and I'm so sorry for just now answering this! I have been ridiculously busy lately and I haven't been really dedicated to answering my reviews and such.

I'm happy that you're a George/Angelina shipper! I really love this pairing and I have a few more stories with them if you were ever curious to check them out!

I have a little experience with writing the twins and they're really hard to balance out. I don't think that they should be written as being exactly alike because it kind of implies that they're not their own person. I can see what it's tempting of course but I never wanted to go that route.

I'm happy that their dialogue and interactions were great though because I was worried about that the most. I struggle with dialogue quite a bit and there were a few things that still bug me, especially about the formatting of them.

I wasn't really sure where to start this first but I wanted to play on the Yule Ball scene because you could actually build a whole story around it. The whole Fred/George/Angelina thing is something that I love playing around with and I hope you come back for the next chapter!

Lots of drama will happen!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #9, by TreacleTart Tension

15th November 2015:
Hey Gabbie!

I'm here for our review swap!

I'm happy to see that you've written another George/Angelina story and if I'm not mistaken, I think its a follow up to the last one-shot I read.

I have to admit that I was always curious about the whole Fred/George/Angelina scenario. I mean I know it was just high school, but I always thought it was odd that Angelina dated Fred, but later married George. Does that make sense? What I'm trying to get at is that I like that you're sort of explaining how that happened.

It's really interesting to see Fred and George actually mad at each other. In cannon, we never really see them as anything other than pranksters, so this is quite the stark contrast. Especially considering that it went to physical violence.

Your ending was quite the cliffhanger. I wonder what Fred could've said that made Angelina so mad. Did he tell her the truth about how George felt or about the altercation? Maybe he broke up with her and told her it was George's fault.

You said you were contemplating leaving this as a one-shot, but in my opinion it feels incomplete on it's own. I would definitely keep writing.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks a ton for stopping by, I am really not sure about this story for some reason. I guess I was nervous that you guys wouldn't like the idea of Fred and George fighting but you've been great, as usual. ;__;

Have you read "Almost"? I think this story happens a year after that one but I tend to forget that sort of stuff all the time. Haha.

Well, I'm not a fan of the entire Fred/Angelina ship to begin with. I think it's so silly that people get angry about the George/Angelina pairing because of it. I mean, it was the Yule Ball, I'm not sure why going on a date with someone to a dance means that they're meant to be together forever. I know JK confirmed that Fred and Angelina dated but we never get any indication that it was serious. She's not even mentioned anymore afterward so.yeah. Haha.

I completely scrap that entire thing for this story but it does make you wonder why Fred asked Angie to the dance, knowing that George was in love with her. Kind of a jerk move but he has his reasons.

I was SO nervous about the actual fight scene because I thought I was pushing it too far. I thought that maybe it was TOO much to put into a story, the punches were actually not supposed to happen but I thought that George's temper was going to snap regardless. Fred's flippant comment just made it worse, I think but I'm glad that you guys haven't been upset by it.

Phew!

I can't reveal what Fred said to make Angelina so angry but they're not dating so no worries there. Hahaha. George is going to have to man up and tell the truth though because running from Angelina will not end well for him. Haha.

Well, no one-shot then! I'm thinking of just making this a three-part story but it mind end up being six or five.

Thanks for your feedback!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #10, by NPE Tension

14th November 2015:
I think it is actually really interesting that you explored what is only hinted at really in the books, which is that despite their great love for each other and similarities, there was occasionally friction between them.

It is perfectly possible this was the case in the context of relationships, and jealousy over dates and how they were perceived by others, both thriving off of sustained popularity.

You have really good ear for dialogue may I say, and you get balance right between description and not overwriting.

It is also really well structured, I can't imagine this is one of the first stories you have written because it is paced really well.

Only suggestion is that you could do with a bit more flair in some of your sentences, to keep the reader interested. I also think if you are in third person, you need to at times, move to various points of view and really let us know what is going on in people's heads.

Pretty promising start though :)

Also - if you feel like doing a review swap, I would be really grateful, but no worries if not. My review would have been the same regardless of that. I meant every word.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for the lovely review and I hope we swap again in the future, I really enjoyed your story!

I think it's strange that we never really see Fred and George fighting. There are six boys and a Ginny, of COURSE they're going to fight every now and then. People I think are just so used to the twins getting along so well that it just seems hard to imagine them arguing.

In my mind, I don't think George is as popular as Fred. He always come across as more reserved, I think he might have trouble attaching to others for some reason. Anyway, the first story that I ever wrote was "Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince" but I don't think any of my stories are near perfect or even good. Hahaha.

Hm. More flair, eh? Glitter and unicorns it is then! Hahaha.

Thank you SO much! :D

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #11, by Felpata Lupin Tension

13th November 2015:
Hi, Gabbie!
Here for our swap! :)

Oh, my... This was tense...
I would've never pictured Fred and George fighting that way... Reading the books we're led to think of them as "two faces of the same coin", but you show us here how different they actually are and how they can crush at times.

I'm actually surprised by George's behaviour. I would never have imagined him to be so brooding. Even if I can understand that he felt betrayed by his brother asking Angelina to the ball... I'm wondering what Fred was planning, by the way... From what Lee said it sounds like he has some ulterior motive... Maybe he was trying to do his brother a favour, making him jealous so that he would finally find the courage to make a move? Or maybe he's really in love with Angelina too?

George and Angie's friendship seems really deep. I loved how you wrote them together. It's clear that they both care so much about each other.

I also loved how you mixed a bit of humour amidst the angst as well. Like Katie and Alicia glaring from an angle, and George's thoughts about Percy. I actually chuckled when you said he expected him to announce his marriage with Crouch! Ahahah!

I'm a bit worried for George, now... Angelina angry sounds quite scary... I'm wondering where you're going with this...

Great job so far! You have some great characterization and the dynamics among the characters were really well built and believable. Plus the emotions flew out really well!

All my love, as always!
Chiara.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by!

I had a lot of trouble trying to figure out how Fred and George were going to fight. I wanted to show that hey were different and that they did actually have times when they fought. That's normal for two teenage boys, I think but we never see that in the HP books.

Well, George is actually pretty moody in my universe and I don't know why I picture him that way. I'll make a joke about it in the next chapter but he feels betrayed by Fred for asking Angelina out. I wouldn't imagine him being very happy about it but at the same time, he's moping around and making it seem like no one cares. That's what annoyed Fred.

Fred has his reasons for asking Angie out, I can't say why though. There's nothing nefarious about it but I'll let you guys keep on guessing. Hehehe.

I was nervous about how I portrayed Angelina here, I don't think I gave her enough depth but I'm glad that her relationship with George came across so strong.

Be worried for George. He's about to get an epic tongue lashing.

Thanks for this!

All of my love of course,

Gabbie


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Review #12, by princesslily_36 Tension

13th November 2015:
Gabbie!

I clicked in immediately but was called away a little. I'm back now to review.

Ooh when I read the chapter summery I immediately remembered your status update about having a fight between Fred and George. I really wanted to read how you would bring about that.

I'm liking George more and more. His silent angry stubborness, his jealousy, his hesitation in telling her how he really feels... it's kind of hot.

Ahh yes the yule ball. Most people just assume that since Fred took Angelina to the Yule Ball, they were a thing. But there was no mention of it anywhere, and it's not like people's dates to the Yule Ball actually mattered. I mean look at who Ron and Harry went with. I assumed there was Fredgelina like everyone else, but in hindsight, JKR would have written an undertone about it if there was. I mean she gave -Percy- a love story, which was beyond my comprehension at the time :D

I'm so glad that you touched upon this issue. I was wondering when you would expand on that.

'“I know you better than that.”' - This line made me go awww. I mean, underneath all that humor and supposed-tactlessness, Fred was alarmingly insightful about his twin.

I love the Fred and George dynamics here. How they unerstand each other, how similar they are and yer how different. I love that beneath all the jokes, you've brought out their personality, their individuality. It was striking in this fic as it focused on the two of them

'“Genetics,” Fred replied with a shrug.' - This made me crack up! It seems exactly like something Fred would say!

The only CC I have here is, I don't understand Angelina much. I mean I know we see the whole thing from George's PoV. In the books she's this tough quidditch captain, pretty, excellent chaser and quite brave as she considered entering the TWT. But I don't seem to be getting her... I'd like to know a bit more about your headcanon Angelina.

As for my opinion on whther it should be a one-shot or short story, as I've already told you, Short story all the way!!

So you better tell me you're working on the next chapter! I loved the humor, feelings, romance balance in this one. Such good drama. I love drama! I want more! So bring it on.

Love,
Ysh

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for being the first reviewer and this really great response! I was kind of unsure about this one for some reason and I'm not really sure how it's going to be received.

I had some trouble working this first chapter out, I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted the boys to fight about. I debated heavily about this either being more of a family issue, like Percy's distance from the family or jumping right in the middle of an argument that had been simmering for days.

I chose the "simmering for days" and still have no idea why. Hahahaha.

George's emotions here are really, really hard to flesh out. I thought that he came off as too childish on some parts but what's great about him is that he's so complicated. He goes from one powerful emotion to another and I'm glad that you like it! It is kind of attractive to think of this kind of guy fawning over you so deeply. ;__;

I'm not a Fred/Angelina shipper at all and never thought that they dated seriously. I think JK confirmed that they were a couple but it's never implied that it was serious so I never understood why people lashed out at the George/Angelina pairing so much. Hermione didn't marry Victor, Harry didn't start dating Parvati and Fleur ended up marrying Bill so where is the logic? I don't know, I guess people find Angelina marrying the brother of a guy she used to date kind of gross. I could go on but I made a blog post about this already and I'm not in a ranty mood. Hahaha.

The thing about Fred and George in my universe is that they are close but I don't push it to the extent that they know every single detail about each other. Fred of course understands George and his feelings for Angelina but I don't think he fully grasps how much she means to him. It is nice writing that they're close though, I didn't want people to think that they constantly butted heads.

Hahaha. Butt.

The "Genetics" line is actually my favorite from Fred. Hahaha. It's such a snarky reply and it totally suits him.

I just looked through the chapter again and I have to say that I agree about your CC with Angelina. I suppose that I didn't put a lot of information about her in this because I've written her before. "This is Angelina" pretty much sums up her a lot of your questions about her personality but I feel like she came off kind of flat here. Yeah, we get that she's all of these amazing things but at the same time, she didn't have enough depth. I'm going to correct that in the next chapter, since it's basically going to come down to George and Angelina talking and interacting. Thanks for pointing that out to me though!

Three-part short story or six? I'm currently debating this. Hahaha.

I have some other stuff to update but I'm going to try and get a fresh chapter up soon. Thanks a ton! ;__;

Much love,

Gabbie


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