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Reading Reviews for A Binary System
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Panda Weasley  je suis vide

22nd February 2016:
Hey there Olivia!
Dropping by for B vs. B.

This was my first time reading a Wolfstar, and I think you did a fabulous job. I love how you were able to show all of the conflicting emotions Remus was having as well as the pain caused by it. The story told is very interesting and I like how it shows the highs and lows of their relationship as well as how they became friends.

There were a few places where I noticed you switching between tenses and mixing up subjects. For example at one point you write: "Translation: I was having a sword fight with my wand with James and was completely ignoring the lesson." The sentence before that though, the one translated, is spoken by James. They are easy to fix, I just wanted to point it out to you. I also noticed one or two places where you write 'you', meaning Sirius, and it's a little confusing to figure out at first.

I really liked the part at the end after they leave Hogwarts. I think you were able to portray the fear and confusion very well. I especially liked the very last paragraph. It's well done.

Lovely story,
Panda Weasley

Author's Response: Hi Panda!

I'm glad you liked it! I love Wolfstar myself so I wanted to write one.

Thanks for letting me know about those. I'll have another read through it and fix them up.

Thank you so much for the lovely review!

~Olivia


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Review #2, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage je suis vide

18th February 2016:
Hi Olivia! I'm here for the Bvb!

I was very curious to see how this story was, only to find I had already read it, but not reviewed :) So here goed, and here's me rereading it all, cause, to be honest, it does deserve more reads than just the one!

From the first three alineas alone, I really think you've set the story right. You both show how Remus is, how judgemental others are and how easily they try and come to conclusions, and then there's Lily, whom I've think you really did justice by just showing her that she offers and does not pry, and that while she isn't even a big factor in this story at all. Great job on doing just that.

Then in the next few alineas, you go to show that people are rude again, and while that is something that teenage girls tend to do (unfortunately) it really shows how afraid people are of him while there's no reason to. And besides that, you already set the tone for the James/Sirius friendship, which is so likely to have happened already, and the certain longing that I feel is behind it all.

Then the Sorting... I do wonder a bit why McG was a bit disappointed, and why it got through her facade, but I can also see why a bit, so there's that. I also love how you set Gryffindor as cheering loudly, while the rest of the hall is shellshocked. It gives a nice insight in how it must've been to be there and knowing the reputation of the family.

Also the fact that Sirius is caring and also kind of does show where he comes from, is a nice touch. I can see him wolfing down food even back then when he was still a student, and the not prying thing is very interesting too, as I somewhere do think Sirius is kind of curious.

I also like how you show Remus' insecurity, and both the flamboyant and extravert characters the other two have. The idea of a swordfight is highly likely in my opinion, and I like that you show he's the most serious one out of them all, or, at least, when it comes to schoolwork.

The added touch of Remus not having liked doing all the work by himself, but not saying a word about it, is something that is so relatable. The way you write it, show the insecurities... it all hits home in a way. So great job at that.

The reaction James has to his reaction about them knowing he is a werewolf, is also.. so James for me. I can totally picture him saying that. Epitome of loyalty. Not caring about what consequences it might have and just be friends. Also the relationship that is progressing between Remus and Sirius and the voicing of their own problems (family/money problems) is very well done, and I really like the fact that they all spend time at James' place.

Uuugh, I keep on loving how you write them all. James' persitency, the comment from Peter about wanting to spend time with his parents, distancing him from the group even that early on already... It just works and makes my heart break and melt at the same time...

Also, you are making me ship Wolfstar. I love Remadora to pieces, but this story is just making me ship them. It's so well written, so good, and I love the fact that Remus just isn't making a move even though he is so certain his feelings are returned... It's so IC (and maddening, really).

The way they get together is also so beautifully written. So careful and tender, not rough as I often read Sirius, and while I can see that too, this is just so good for the story that it really couldn't have been any other way than this. Also James' reaction is priceless. Just an okay, and that was it.

And just the hints of it all. Peters nervousness. His hairloss. It just... makes me angry and love you at the same time. Angry because of what it foreshadows, and love you for the way it has been written. Because it's just simply stunning.

It I may have any critiques: I noticed a few typos (not many, but they were there) and it ended a bit... abruptly. Like it was missing something. But this was nevertheless a beautiful story and you're absolutely making me ship it, so well done, and this story will definitely end up on my favelist.

x Ineke

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Review #3, by cherry_pop94 je suis vide

17th February 2016:
Hello! I'm here for Bvb!

Oh my god. I have tears in my eyes right now. I think Remus's character is just so tragic. When you started to talk about October 31, I could no longer control myself. I cannot even imagine the pain that day must have brought for Remus. To think that his best friends are dead because of his boyfriend. To think that Sirius betrayed them all and then murdered Peter.

I just cannot even begin to imagine how difficult this time must have been for him. And you describe how much Remus loved them all, especially Sirius, so beautifully earlier in the story. It really is remarkable. He's an incredible complex and wonderful character and you've written him beautifully.

I love this story. Thank you for sharing it!

Stefanie

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Review #4, by alicia and anne je suis vide

10th January 2016:
Yes! Sirius and Remus! I am so happy right now! Sirius is the love of my life and I suppose I can share him with Remus... just because they're so cute together. :P

Well... those lines are true for both of us, Remus. I loved Sirius from the first mention of him in the first book even though I didn't know who he was, all I knew was that he had a motorcycle and I was instantly in love. How strange how alike me and Remus are! :P

Poor Remus, having to suffer through mutters about him at such a young age, I just want to protect him from them.

I love how you've written the way that friendship grew between the boys, it seemed like it went so easily and naturally, and you've done a fantastic job at capturing their personalities.

:O I never once thought about there being another person in the dormitory with them, I'm not sure why? But I reckon there totally could have been! I like this! And I also like how McLaggen is arrrogant and boastful, such a McLaggen trait :P

Oh Sirius, I love seeing him and Remus get closer to each other, this slow burn friendship/romance is my jam! I love it so much!!

Aw Sirius described Remus and Remus has only just realised!! Ah I just want to push them together and make them kiss! And their relationship is out in the open :D That makes me so happy!

Although now I am devastated by just how much everything changed before Sirius got sent to Azkaban! They were all so happy and now there's just so much sadness :(

Can you please continue writing Remus and Sirius stories for me to love, because you write them so well and I love your writing! Maybe write what happens when he comes out of Azkaban :P *hint hint* hahah I really liked this so much! :D

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Review #5, by Beeezie je suis vide

4th January 2016:
Hey, Olivia! I'm here for BvB!

So I really, really loved this. The way you describe their relationship building felt so realistic - there wasn't this crazy immediate crazy You Are The One attraction, but rather something that grew bit by bit. It was lovely to read about, and it really fit for me into what we know about Remus and Sirius as people - because while there's a definite undercurrent of the Sirius-as-heartbreaking-flirt trope in the HP fandom, there really wasn't any evidence of it in the books. I really believed Remus's feelings and I was so happy when they got together - and so gutted when you threw a huge wrench into it before they even left Hogwarts.

I'm glad you did, though. I don't think I've ever read anything else that really explores how Remus would have reacted to Sirius's prank, and I've never really thought of it from Remus's perspective. But now that you've made me - oh my god, you're so right. Werewolf or not, the knowledge that he'd caused someone's death would have weighed very heavily on Remus, and while I don't believe Sirius was thinking in those terms... It kind of doesn't matter. He should have been, both as Remus's friend and as his boyfriend. If I were Remus, I'd also have been really disturbed and hurt by that betrayal, and it gives a really interesting spin to his interactions with Harry and to the schism between them, which I've always wondered about.

You did an amazing job with this, and I'm so happy I've read it.

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Review #6, by HarrietHopkirk je suis vide

2nd January 2016:
Remus! Bless his little cotton socks! Every time I re-read/listen to the audiobook of Prisoner of Azkaban, I think about how lonely he must have felt with James and apparently Peter dead, as well as how angry he would have been at Sirius. And your spin, the fact that he was in love with him, must have made it so much worse!

But this gives us more of an insight into their relationship before the events of the First Wizarding War, and it's really nice to be able to read about how happy they were, and their friendship group, and their blossoming romance. The mechanics of this one-shot are spot-on; you're obviously good at spelling and grammar. I would just put some of the 'flashback' sentences e.g. the questions at the beginning into italics, to help the reader with context etc. But obv up to you!

I really appreciated the pace of the story, how gently everything moved along - you managed to cover decades within this story, and it didn't feel to rushed or too slow. I wasn't confused by the structure or felt that any part of it was too stagnant. I also enjoyed your quiet, unassuming characterisation of Remus, and all his dialogue and interactions with his friends and Sirius, of course.

Remus' point of view, and the use of second person, as if he were talking to Sirius was used effectively as well. I would have loved to see the story go further - maybe another chapter that deals with Remus' POV of PoA and his Order work, maybe even Sirius' death (I may regret this if you make me cry!)

Overall, a lovely story. Well done.

TEAM BRONZE

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Review #7, by The Hanukkah Dreidel je suis vide

6th December 2015:
Hi! I'm the Hanukkah Dreidel and I've been spending this festive time of year by spinning around and here I have landed in one of your stories!

Wow, this was really an incredible story and I can't believe it doesn't have any reviews yet. I just... I don't even know where to start with this one, because it has such a broad focus and covers so many years and radiates so many feelings, and is so good that I don't know how my review can do justice to this story!

First, the way you've set it up how Remus is narrating the events of his Hogwarts years with the lens of many years having passed; it has this nostalgic feel to it that's only present in the type of story where the narrator recalls long-ago events. And, as we find out halfway through the story, that nostalgia is particularly special because Sirius is still in Azkaban at the time Remus is narrating it, so there's the added dynamic of Remus still being in love with Sirius despite the fact that Sirius is in prison for the murder of their best friends. Because I noticed, not once did Remus say he hates Sirius for what he did, or really even anything bad about Sirius - despite everything, he still loves him. He doesn't understand why Sirius would do such a thing, and hates what he did, but he doesn't hate him. There are so many layers to this nostalgic tone and I LOVE IT.

Okay and let's talk about the way you wrote the Marauders, because you did really well with their characters. I like how you portrayed James' and Sirius' easygoing natures and how Remus is so thankful for that as everyone else is far too interested in what's wrong with his face and Remus just wants to be normal. And James and Sirius treat him like he's just a normal kid, one who wants to goof off instead of doing assignments, and invite him to do just the same with them. That was an adorable scene.

I also like the way you approached the topic of secrecy - there's a lot about Remus's continued secrecy and lies, not only to protect himself from ridicule and losing friends, but also kind of to keep any of his new friends from getting too close and seeing that he's got a lot of stuff he's dealing with beneath the surface of his calm and quiet exterior. And James, Sirius, and Peter keep a secret too, only because they want to surprise Remus with it. It shows so much about all of them, how Remus is so terrified to be vulnerable and holds his feelings so close to his chest, and the others not only show him that they aren't put off by his darker secrets, but that they are real friends willing to do a lot for him. And they do it all through keeping their own secret. I don't know, it was just really cool how the two sides came across in this.

Lastly, I can't forget to mention how much I love the way you wrote Sirius/Remus in this story. Gah. They are both quite messed up people, but in opposite ways and it kind of makes them perfect for one another. I love how you developed their relationship from just easygoing friends in the beginning, to close friends that are brought together by sharing their difficult secrets, to more than that. I liked the way Sirius admitted his crush on Remus- he wasn't too forward about it, at risk of freaking Remus out, but he definitely wasn't subtle (because I don't think that's a quality Sirius posesses). Of course it is just like Remus to figure out who Sirius is talking about and then keep quiet and not act on it for MONTHS because he thinks Sirius deserves better. Anyway, the way you portrayed their relationship - as one that began in secrecy, was out in the open for a bit, and then was destroyed by distrust - and yet at least for Remus, there are still feelings there despite that Sirius is in prison. It's so beautiful and I love it.

My one question is about the werewolf prank, which is mentioned as being seventh year here, but I thought it was fifth? Anyway, that's a really minor detail and doesn't take away from the fact that this was a lovely and impressive story. Well done. You should be so proud of it. Happy Holidays!

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