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Reading Reviews for Kintsugi
1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart Kintsugi

11th December 2015:
Hi there!

I'm finally here with a review for my Anywhere But There Challenge! I'm so sorry that it's taken so long, but I was tied up with NANO. Anyway, I'm here now and hoping to post results as soon as I possibly can. My goal is within the next week.

I'll be breaking this review down by the criteria that I used to judge the challenge so that you can see exactly how I arrived at the results.

As I read this story I was really intrigued because I actually visited Japan for the first time about three months ago and I spent a large portion of my time there in Osaka, so as Lee talked about Osaka station, I could actually envision it in my head. The one thing that I wondered though, was if this was Osaka Station to catch the Shinkansen (bullet train) or Osaka Station for the subway/metro.

Plot/Flow/Pace- I thought that overall this was pretty good. It didn't seemed rushed although I did have a few moments where I wasn't quite sure exactly what was going on.

Character development - I thought that I had a good grasp on who the characters were and what was happening to them after reading this. We get a chance to see Lee healing a bit and returning to something closer to normal.

Cultural Information - While I did really enjoy the bits of Japanese culture that were in this story, I do think you could've included a bit more. I'd have loved some description of how the different locations looked. I also thought that sometimes it was hard to understand the Japanese words you used in the middle of the story. You want to be careful that when you use a word or two from a different language that you provide enough context for the reader to be able to figure it out.

Spelling/Grammar/Typos - I did notice a few typos throughout the story, but there wasn't anything major or that detracted from the story.

All in all, I thought you did a good job showing us a bit of Japan.


Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
It's fine! NaNoWriMo can unfortunately detrimental to pretty much everything unrelated to your writing in life. The holidays also take up time, too.
Actually, I didn't pick Japan because you were going there(I can't remember if you mentioned you were heading there a few days before or after I changed my country.) The song 'Osaka Loop Line' by Discovery influenced this story.
I imagined the station to be the one to catch the bullet train.
Thanks for letting me know there's a few errors! I'll eventually comb through it to correct the errors. I normally don't notice my own errors until I read my stories with semi-fresh eyes a while after writing them.

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